Discipline Ideas for a 6-Year-old

Updated on November 28, 2008
J.W. asks from Omaha, NE
12 answers

My 6-year old daughter has been writing on things that she shouldn't for a couple of months. I am very frustrated because by this time she knows that you don't write on things like; inside of cars, other student's cubbies at school, desks, etc...She also writes on herself sometimes. I have tried to figure out why this could be happening, "attention"? I need to know if anyone has had a similar experience with something like this and has anything worked to stop it? Is it just a phase and it will go away?

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Minneapolis on

Did anyone mention that she should clean up what she has done? someone has to clean it up, so why not the one who made the mess! Robbing Alcohol takes out pen doodles. The magic eraser is good. Oxyclean works well too.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

I would take away everything!When my daughter went through that stage although alot younger than 6 she got her art supplies taken away for over a year and we haven't had a problem since.

Have a few pencils you keep up high and hidden she can use for her homework.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.F.

answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter is 7 and had the same problem, I think she is just very creative and likes to push her boundries. But I would talk to her and see if maybe there isn't an underlying issue. As for punishment I would take her markers or crayons away and tell her if she did it again she would be grounded to the house with not friends.
She is also into cutting hair, any kind of hair!
I am sure it is just a phase though.
J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

N.S.

answers from Minneapolis on

I haven't read the other responses, so this might be redundant but... what about dedicating a wall in the house (playroom or bedroom) that she CAN draw on?

My kids were all Picassos. One of them even drew a big mural on our church's newly renovated assembly hall/cafeteria! (I just about died, but miraculously was able to get the marker cleaned up. I think it was everyone's prayers for me!!)

So my solution besides locking up all pens, markers and pencils in a place that forced the kids to have to ask me to use them, was to buy a huge, I mean absolutely huge, almost door-sized, magnetic dry erase board that could be mounted to a wall. We hang it when we want to use it on the back of a door in our family room. I also have a chalk board in the same size when they want to do the chalk thing.

The kids have a blast drawing, using magnets, and more. I think it is the favorite "plaything" in the house and it's a real hit when friends come over.

I ordered the board from an online office supply company called bizrate.com. Kinda pricey, but considering how much we use it (almost daily) it was worth it.

And honest, the kids haven't drawn on any walls or furniture since!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.B.

answers from Omaha on

Hi J.,

I have a 7 year old daughter who is also very artistic and have had to also lay down some boundaries like cutting carpet is not an option! :) I didn't want to squelch her artistic nature but I also didn't want everything in our house damaged. So I limited where art supplies could be used - at the table. Everytime we got them out (which was very often) we reviewed where and how the supplies could be used (You may only cut, color, glue, stamp, place stickers, etc. on paper. You may only use art supplies at this table. Show me how to carry scissors correctly.She must ask to get anything out.) Then, of course, artistic children also tend to leave a mess in their wake so we are still working on the cleaning up part. But now, I can trust my daugher with scissors in her room. She has had to gain my trust with her correct actions. We have had many discussions about these things. She has make some really wonderful and beautiful things so I am glad that I didn't take everything away from her but am equally glad that I set reasonable boundaries. It is a win-win situation. She gets the freedom to explore her talent and I get an undamaged home.

Mostly, it is you, taking the time to set the boundaries and being firm when the boundaries are overstepped. Soon enough she will learn (without you having to take the joy out of her creative abilities)to take care of the things around her. And when she does then you begin giving her a little more freedom.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

W.Y.

answers from Duluth on

Ditto on the LOVE and LOGIC...I teach those skills to other parents, teachers, administrators....AND use it at home with my own kids. It works! I also LOVE, Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach by Howard Glasser. I think both are MUST reads for anyone that parents, lives with, cares for or loves kids!

The easiest read by far in the L & L servies is "L & L Magic for Early Childhood".

Good Luck!

W. Young, LMSW, BCD...mom o' three
www.kidlutions.com

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

My 5yo wrote on my couch, dresser, wall, you name it. I took his priviledge of using anything but a pencil away. No crayons, no markers, no pens. If I saw one in his hand, I took it away and put him in a time out. Every day he asks me if he can color, and I tell him no. It's been about a week. I plan to give him a washable set of markers and paper this weekend to see how that goes...with a stern reminder that if he writes on anything but the paper, he loses the colors again.

Btw, I'm looking forward to seeing any other suggestions on this, too! :)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.G.

answers from Minneapolis on

Go to www.loveandlogic.com

See if they have a class in your area. My husband and I took one and it was amazing!!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.G.

answers from Lincoln on

All but one of my kids went through this stage. ( I have four kids.) I made each one of them take a bucket of soapy water and a rag and wash the wall or whatever they drew on. Believe me, the didn't do it again! I also had one of my kids leave marks on the closet wall by hanging on the bar and kicking the wall. He also had to take his bucket of soapy water and clean that wall, it didn't happen again. I used the bucket of soapy water because it takes more elbow grease to get the makings off the wall. Good luck with it.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.P.

answers from Madison on

I also have a 6 yr old. We went through the writing and cutting stage a little more than a year ago. What I did was took away all of her art supplies for a period of time as well as anything that she ruined got thrown in the trash. If it was something that did not belong to her I took away something that was of equal value to her. It did not take her long to get over it after she realized the consequences. Once she learned, I started giving supplies back a little at a time so she could prove she was "big enough" to have it. At this age it is all about recognition.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.C.

answers from Fargo on

I just read this to my sister and she laughs because her 5 year old son Noah was doing this and the take-aways didn't work, so he got a special journal he could take anywhere and she looks at it with him daily and praises him for his new letters he's learning and pictures he has drawn of the things he saw. She also put up all the permanent markers! They went shoping and "saw" a few new things to buy; like crayons that are marker style that don't break and a new drawing board, so he gets to earn these thing if he's careful to draw on things he has permission. Also she let him mail out projects to others and get attention for his great works. Encourage it rather than discourage it; just try control the what and where. Have her make you some Thanksgiving place mats!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.S.

answers from Grand Rapids on

J.; yes could be quite a issue, however, A. dont give her writing utensils unless she is supervised, B. she could very well love to draw, and needs more things to draw on, get a writing board, and provide paper for her all the time, dont give her things that wont wash off, pencils are good, and they dont mark on skin , leave markers out of her life, unless done in a place wehre markers can be used. take away the markers when she is using them inappropriately, or give her something she can write on,an artist such as herself, will need plenty of clean white paper, and she will use lots of it, get those rolls too, so she can pull out a long sheet of it. just enjoy her artwork, also praise her for such nice artwork, but you wished you could keep it forever, but cars wear out and we have to throw them away, invest in a lot fridge magnets and a scrapbook, when she draws on paper, take it, keep it and treasure it, she will then appreciate how much others can appreciate her work, any way enjoy life, this will also give her the attention she needs and focus on the positive, D. s

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions