Discipline for Special Needs 3 Year Old

ok i have a special needs child with a severe language barrier too. and first and foremost i do believe in swats but i dont swat my special needs child. you cant do that with a special needs child they dont understand why they are getting swatted for being fustrated. QUIT SWATTING. keep signing and try pecs with him. everytime you say drink sign drink but with his visual impairment this will make this harder. put his hand on yours when you sign to him. i have been suggested several times to watch the helen keller movie my ds has hearing issues.

what you are considering a bad temper is probably a fustration tantrum. my son does them alot. you have to kinda ignore them. when they cant communicate they have temper tantrums cause of it. when you say no sign no and put his hand on yours when you do it. make his pecs very large or small what ever he needs.when you quit spanking i think the throwing things and hitting will quit. he cant get you to understand and you are hitting him(swats) which makes him more fustrated and so his only outlet is to hit back. or throw whichever is more convient. mine throws things to when he gets mad at his toy or whatever if its not playing right. he used to throw his tippy at us for more drinks. we firmly tell him no and sign no too. he has no way of communicating with you. put yourself in his shoes if you couldnt talk and had problems seeing how would you get your husband to do what you want and when he didnt do what you needed or wanted you would get mad and throw things too or hit. and you hit him lets say your husband hit you for not being able to talk or tell him what you wanted or needed. time out does work for my son but i use them sparingly. when he is having a fustration tantrum i ignore it. when he is having a defiance tantrum i put him in time out. i have to hold him in that one spot and keep telling him no verbally and in sign. you need ot get him to developmental pediatrician. YOU NEED TO HAVE LOTS OF PATIENTS WITH HIM. you can not treat him like he is "normal" because he isnt. you have to take his disability in to serious consideration when dealing with him.

get ahold of your school system and check into ppcd through the school system. and tell them you need serious help with him. you have to get patience and quit punishing him for his lack of communication that is not fair to him and he has no way of saying it. when mine does good since he has hearing issues. he loves it when we raise our hands in the air and say yeah instead of good job. when we do that he knows he did good and he will clap for himself. if he does a good job clap for him and if his vision is real bad you hold his hands and clap them for him so he knows he did good. or raise his arms in the air and say yeah real loud. so he knows he did good. he will start mimicing you. give him lots of rewards by clapping or raising your hands in the air and yelling yeah. he will be so proud you will see his little face light up. because he is not getting hit for bieng bad it is a way to praise him for doing good.

do not do any more time outs than absolutely necessary. donot punish a fustration tantrum. because if you put yourself in his shoes you would do the same thing. time outs are for absolute looking at you like I DONT WANT TO DO THIS AND I KNOW BETTER AND AM GOING TO DO IT ANYWAY. please please please learn patience with this child. and lots of it

Have your tried time out in a restraint--like maybe a car seat or something along those lines? I saw that recommended in a parenting book. When my son was younger I started doing time outs with him in a pack and play or high chair with a harness. By 3 he was too big for that but had gotten the time out concept. I did on occasion hold him restrained in my lap but I saved that for when he was doing something unsafe (he always fought a lot when restrained). My son is 5 now and he did eventually get the time out concept (it took a lot of work from me and my husband) but he is still very active and strong willed (sometimes aggressive too). I imagine with your son's delays he is probably very frustrated about not being able to communicate well (typical in toddler still learning to talk--I see it with my 2 year old too). Has anyone tried a picture board so he can point to what he wants? Or are the visual processing problems enough that would make this not work? What about alternate ways to get out his frustration. So far we had some luck getting my son to crash into a big pillow held by an adult or jumping on a mini trampoline. He preschool teacher said try a sit and spin but it didn't do that much as the other things I thought. I think the idea of sign language is a good one but I never got that far actually teaching it to my kids either (maybe 2-3 signs before they started talking). Good luck. Sometimes it is hard to keep hold on that last shred of patience.

I've got a son who did those exact things at 3 he is now 4. My son is autistic and nonverbal. What I've found does work is repetition, and redirection each and every time the undesired behavior occurs. I've also learned that there are some behaviors that will take more time than others to learn out of. Make certain you're at his level whenever you're reprimanding him and use firm tones in lieu of yelling or spanking. Perhaps prior to saying "no" you can get his attention and then redirect all the while letting him know it's time to move onto another activity. Does he have transitioning issues? If he does this will help with the anger, as will constant reminders every few minutes.

Instead of saying "no," redirect him by showing him the preferred behavior. Do it in a way that is developmentally appropriate (make it fun!) His protest behavior is a form of communication, and he is protesting his lack of ability to tell you what he likes and doesn't like, how he feels and what he needs. Work with your son's team to come up with a communication system that works for him and you. Be patient, be positive and be consistent. Also, look for things and situations that trigger his outbursts and try to eliminate them. It's hard work at first but totally worth it in the end.

I feel for you! Since you said that he understands what you say, have you tried talking to him about his behavior? Before we go anywhere or do anything, I get down on my ds's level, and tell him exactly what I expect of him. If he starts to misbehave, I get down on his level and describe what he is doing, and how it makes me feel. I also tell him again what I expect of him, and let him know that if he misbehaves again, he will sit in time out. Time out was tough in the beginning - when I put him on the stool I would sit there and hold his hands in his lap. This kept him from hitting me or getting up. Also, we use the "minute-per-year" rule, but we had to work up to it! I also made sure one of the first signs our ds learned was "angry." He still doesn't use it regularly, but I always ask him to tell me how he feels and why. We never get the why, but at least he knows we care and hopefully it will come. It's very difficult, I know. I have lost my cool and cried myself to sleep because of it, but I try to tell myself that tomorrow is a new day and I'll do the best I can to be a better mother. Best of luck!