Discipline and Potty Training Problems

It sounds to me like this is a case of flat-out defiance. I would put a diaper back on him and make him go back to doing things like a baby. For example, I would not let him go out in the backyard to play nor would I take him ANYWHERE at all. When he asks, tell him that you would like to take him or let him go out to play, but it appears that he's still a baby and babies don't get to do those things so you're really sorry, but until he acts like a big boy, he won't be able to do those things. don't make a big deal out of it and don't warn him ahead of time; just when the situation presents itself, tell him. That way, it makes it his decision - either act like a big boy and quit peeing everywhere or wear a diaper and be a baby. I would put the diaper on using duct tape if you have to do he's not able to get it off.

Is this battle worth it? He is winning. One option is to keep him in diapers until he is ready. It won't hurt anyone, even if he's in diapers until he's 5. That's what I'd do, and I wouldn't care what anyone else thought about it.

He is not yet potty trained. Put him back in diapers or pull-ups and keep working on it. Use praise for when he does anything that is part of the proper pottying process: "Oh you know you have to go? That makes me so happy to hear!" "You knew you had to go and you made it to the bathroom, that's what I call smart!".

It also sounds like time-outs are not working. They are probably not effective in reducing the behavior you're timing him out for, and he is learning that pee will bring you running to fuss over him. Use time-outs to help him (or you) calm down ("Let's sit quietly together for a few minutes until we are both calmer"), and figure out a different way to prevent unwanted behavior (or to prevent them from being rewarded - in his mind).

I highly recommend the book "The Power of Positive Parenting" by Glenn Latham - see http://parentrx.com/

Good luck - remember, this too shall pass! :)

This may sound easier said than done, but I'd put him back in diapers and/or pull-ups. If he's not potty-trained at 3, oh well. The more you push, the worse it gets. Be very
matter-of-fact when you put him in the time-out and try to stay calm (I know it's hard).

Good luck!

Hi R., We are having the same problem with my daughter and her teacher - who has been working with potty training aged kids for 20 years - told us that it is the change of the weather. I had never heard of such a thing, but she says regression during season changes is very common.

Hi R.,

This has not happened with me, but I did have a friend that has gone through this. I know this is going to sound mean, but after a few times he will learn.

If he is in time out buckled in and he wets his pants on purpose, DON'T rush right over and clean him up. I would wait and tell him is not acceptable and he will have to finish with wet pants.

If he does it in his bed, same thing don't rush right in and clean it up. I know it's hard not to, but even at the age of 3 he understands he is getting your attention. Kids crave attention good or bad.

Right before bed I would have him sit on the potty chair until he goes. If he starts to have a fit tell him why you are doing this and explain that he needs to be a big boy now and use the potty chair. You can also try to make sure he doesn't drink that much before bed, that way maybe he won't have to go!!

Explaining after the descipline works best. Explain why you did it and what he did wrong. Always be firm and follow through every time. After awhile this will get old for him.

Wish you the best of luck!!!!

Try to do time outs in the bathroom and taking him potty during the night (pain, but may save the sheets!). i have two very close and the more mobile the baby got (and cute I might add) the more problem behavior with my oldest. the hardest thing to do is try to spend more one on one with son, when it is hard becausr their behavior is so distressing.
One last, maybe take him to pick out his own pull ups and he may be more invested.
Good luck, this too shall pass.
Also, have you tried the bible to rearing "spirited" children, Raising your spirited child by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka? it has saved us!

I am no expert, but doesn't the defiant behavior mean that he is acting out against something? My suggestion would be to ease off, offer lots of love and acceptance and put him back in diapers if necessary. Try to figure out why he is feeling the need to act out.

Strapping in for time out... I wonder if you would consider a less punishment-based approach to disciplining him. It sounds like that is making him want to assert his own power, as he is being made to feel powerless.

Good luck!

HI R.,
Im so in the same boat. I was hoping there would be more responses by now. UGH! Changing of the weather.....that is interesting from the other comment. But Ok. I will take it. I started my son at 20 months and he sort of got it but just wasn't into it so I left it go and let him decide when he was ready. I found out when he was 2 i was preganant. I thought, ok i will get him potty trained before baby conems. HAHAHAAH ya right. First off I had the baby 5.5 weeks early. I was putting him in pullups during the day and diaper at night 3 months before the baby arrived. The last 2 days I decided I had enough. He was taking off his pull ups when i had to go up stairs or to the bathroom my self and pooping on the floor. So this week I went 100% training. I bought him fun underwear a while back but never had the energy with getting rid of the pull ups all together till now. Plus my 4 month old son isn't sleeping through the night yet. So far he is now doing well with it. Try the 6 hour training. every hour you take them to the potty to go. If they don't go then you go again in 20mins. The hard part is now he is getting up at 5-6am and wanting to go potty. We still have a lot of accidents but take 2-3 days and just stay home. If you can't make sure you bring LOTS OF clothes. My friend took her potty chair in the car with her during this time since a lot of places don't have restrooms. My dr told me a while back. If you want to get serious about the potty training, get rid of all the diapers and pullups. They are just a cruch. I could so do without this stage. I can deal with all kinds of things with my child but this one is hard.

Good luck

SAHM, 39ys to a fun loving 2.5yo son and a 4 month old son that is full of smiles and doesn't sleep. My husband lives on a plane every week for work so I feel like a single mom a lot. But im blessed I can stay home full time.