Dinner Table Rules???

I teach preschool with 3 year olds, and they all sit at least until a teacher is done eating. I do eat pretty fast, but they are all able to sit for a while. If they get up, we just remind them that right now it is time to sit, if they are not intersted in eating talk to their friends

I don't expect my kids to sit around while *I* finish my dinner when we're home, but I do expect them to sit and finish their *own* dinner. Meaning if I sit n eat, so do they. When they are done, they may get up, clear their dish and go play. I might opt to sit and continue eating while they go about their business when they're done. I won't tolerate the wandering and eating bites here and there....they are expected to eat. If they get up, so does their dinner; it goes in the trash. In a restaurant, it's different of course; they're expected to sit for the entire meal. That's me, and works for us.

At dinner we sit down, sa grace and eat. If one of them would get up then their plate did too. I had them take their dishes to the counter and there is no more after they leave the table and NO desert.
Three is not too young to teach manners and when it is time to sit quietly for an amount of time. If he is finished of course let him go play but mine always had to eat a little something and if htey left the table hungry still, breakfast was tomorrow and they werent' starving.

He sat in the high chair for his whole meal before so why should now be different. My kids sat and ate thier meals. 10-15 minutes is not to much to ask of a 3 year old. By allowing him to get up and run around you are not helping him but are going to make it more difficult when you take him out some where and he needs to sit still.

K., Since he was used to sitting in a highchair for meals, I think he should be able to handle sitting for at least ten min while he eats. I didn't notice if anyone gave you any suggestions but here are a few to help you keep him still enjoy dinner and eat.
I transition from a highchair to a booster that straps to the chair and has a seat belt still. I like these because when they can sit still you can let them have more autonomy, but you can tell them that their choice for not staying seated is to use the seatbelt, its their choice. They have some at walmart, here are a few links

http://www.walmart.com/ip/Summer-Infant-Secure-Comfort-Fo...
http://www.walmart.com/catalog/product.do?product_id=1062...
Or if you still have your highchair you could always just let him know if he can't stay in the booster you will need to put him back in the highchair.

I have a few other rules (besides sitting still) for meal times.
#1 They have to take a taste. One bite of everything is required.
#2 then they can either eat however many bites of each thing as they are old or pick one thing and eat it all. (So at three, that would be three bites of meat, three of noodles and three of veggies, or all the noodles or all the meat or all the veggies.)
#3 They can have water to start with and milk or juice AFTER they have eaten at least half of their food.
#4 when they are done they ask to be excused and take their plate to the counter. (even the tree year old depending on what is left on his plate)
These are just the rules that I have come up with that seam to make meal times more pleasant for my husband and me and the rest of our family. Especially when we have guest over or you go out to eat:)
good luck,
E.

I haven't yet seen anyone address that maybe he might have a milk allergy. A lot of kids have allergies to cows milk that make them act out this way. It is one of the causes of ADHD. Try taking him off all milk products and see if this helps. Then make sure he sits down with the family at dinnertime. There are a lot of other ways to get calcium than cowa milk

Its too young to expect a toddler to sit still all throughout dinner.
Your son is normal.
Sure, teach him about manners... why not. But... as he gets older, he will be more prone/mature enough to sit down longer or at will and then actually be 'able' to do it.

My son is 3, and he does that too. But we don't turn it into a battle. We just want him to learn that dinner 'with family' is fun. We converse with him etc.

All the best,
Susan

I'm glad I'm not the only one who expects my children to sit at the table until dinner is over! When we sit down to eat, you do not leave the table unless you've asked to be excused and have been excused. Including my 3yr old. Like someone else mentioned, my kids have sat through all of dinner while in the high chair, just because they physically have the ability to get up once they are in a regular chair does not mean it is ok for them to do so.

We also try to make dinner a fun interactive family time though-not just sit down and burn through a meal in 10 minutes. There is discussion, jokes, recapping of the day, family things that need to be discussed....and yes, the youngest kids are part of all of this which encourages them to stay there with the family. I have found that when we focus on the family experience part of dinner rather than just the meal, it is much easier for the youngest kids to stay at the table.

I expected all three of my kids to stay at the table and not get up during meals. It is hard sometimes to keep them seated at 2 and 3 years old especially since they just got the booster. They want to exercise their freedom. There is no need to yell however, just tell them and remind them EVERY time that everyone sits at the table to eat and it is not ok to get up. Let him know it makes it hard for everyone else to enjoy their food.

I also go a couple steps further, I make them stay at the table until they are excused or have asked to be excused and they have to bring their dishes to the counter (I am not going to lie, there have been some full plate dumps, just remember it cleans up).

All three of my kids have asked to be excused and bring their plates to the sink since they were about 1 and a half. Just like anything, if you make it a system they will respect it, just like staying in their bed.

Good luck!

I am sure a lot of people would disagree, but the TV helps us with this. My little one is a fidgety eater, but will eat everything on his plate and then some without getting up if he can watch a TV show while he eats. Not ideal, but it works.

You know, when they get older you can crack down on the table manners. But my daughter does the same thing and I let her. If I fight her to stay in her chair, it gets worse and then she will not eat. I would rather her eat and mess around right now and maybe around 5 I will start getting strict with her about table manners.

Good Luck, tough age but I know the feeling...my daughter is 3 in Feb.

K.,

If dinner is short and sweet he can sit through it! My son is a super active always on the go toddler (2.5) who rarely stays in the same place more then a minute. We got one of those wooden restaurant booster seats. He knows the needs to sit and eat with us, that if he wiggles around or stands up we will strap him in, because it is not safe. Family dinners are a pivotal part of what we value as a family. They are very important to us, so we wanted to teach our sons from the very beginning that it was an expectation that he be with us. We have always had dinner as a family since my husband and I were married, when children came they also came to dinner even at days old :-)

Also to note is that we really make meal time enjoyable and short. We talk to our sons and tell each other about our days. Our oldest (2.5) helps set the table and often prepare the food. He also helps clear the table.

So, I think that it is possible to have good reasonable expectations and teach manners from the beginning.

Best of Luck!

S.

I would try to nip this right away. My son turned 2 in November (he's very active too) and when he turned 1, we put him right up to the table (we bought a space saver high chair/convertible booster seat...$20ish at Walmart/Target...as we have no room for an actual high chair- if you do not want to purchase a new booster seat, do what we do at my parent's house, we take two dish towels and tie them together and then make a make-shift seat belt that we tie behind the chair.) and he was strapped in. When he turned 2, we stopped strapping him in, but he is learning that if he stands up in his chair or tries to get down, he gets 1 warning/reminder to sit in his chair and then he gets strapped in again for the remainder of dinner! It works really well so that he can reach the table fine and have some independence, but we can have some control of the situation thanks to the safety belt. Kids this age should be able to LEARN how to sit for at least 20 minutes or so...we even ask him to sit a little longer if we have guests who eat a little slower than we do (reminding him, it is nice to eat together...when we are all done, you can get down!). We also ask him to ask to be excused. We do tend to have the TV in the background- low volume, not really watching it...my hubby just has something about turning off and on the TV-, so as someone previous mentioned, if that helps him stay put until everyone else is done, it might be worth trying (maybe say, now that you are done eating, would you like me to turn it to a show you would like while the rest of us finish up). You can also include him in the conversations going on at the table and that will make him feel included. You could also do what you would do at a restaurant...books, toys, color crayons and paper...after he finishes eating to keep him occupied as well. I don't think it is unreasonable to expect him to sit for a little bit with the family without running about.

I too have a very active 3 year old. However, we bought a booster with a buckle and ever since she moved from high chair to booster, she was buckled in. When she finally asked to be unbuckled, I told her that she would have to sit in the chair or the buckle would go back on. We didn't have too many issues. Now, at 3.5, we have taught her that she needs to ask to be excused and if Mommy or Daddy is still eating then she needs to wait until everyone is done.

In my opinion, I believe it's too much to expect a 3 year old to sit still for too long through anything. My son was the same way and I would kindly remind him to sit when he would get up. After roaming a bit he would but I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. He is now 4 and sits through meals without a problem. I love that you are wanting to reinforce dinner table manners though. That's awesome. At this age, gentle and kind reminders work best, I think =-)