Dietary Restrictions and Households

As compared to a woman last week that thought a school should be peanut free because her young son with an allergy had a sister who went there, I think YOU are being realistic and appropriate. Good for you!

My youngest has Celiac disease. We are not a gluten free house. I prepare her breakfast first before my other child's, and the same for lunch. I wash my hands, the table, and counters meticulously. She has her own plates and cups.

We are all gluten free for supper, just because it's more simple.

I think you are doing the right thing. You are teaching your son about his allergy and how to be safe and you are teaching your daughter how to handle an allergy her brother has and you are not depriving (spelling?) her from what she likes. I think it is a great thing you are doing. God forbid there is a mishap you have the epipen and know what to do. Good for you!!

First, NO, you're not a terrible mother!!! You sound like a very concerned mother to me. BUT, if it were me, I would be a peanut-free house. You don't say how old he is but what if, in just a split second that you're not there to watch him, he got curious and wanted to taste it!!! It could be devastating!!! I would be scared to have peanut butter in the house!!!!

I know this isn't a great example but it's sort of on the same line of thinking: when we were little, my sister had braces and couldn't eat certain foods so my mom restricted those foods from the whole house!! And we all survived!!! We really didn't care that we weren't allowed certain foods; our sister wasn't so we just accepted it.

Good luck!!!!

You're being a fantastic mom. What you're doing is PREPARING your son to live in a world with peanuts in it. You're helping him develop the responsibility to keep himself safe, but in a safe, comfortable way.

Within reason and with dilligence/due caution, I think it a choice for each family to decide.

My son also has severe peanut allergies, discovered at 18m when he had a bit of PB sandwich.

I love/loved PB, and ate it almost every day for lunch from the time ! was five years old, until his reaction (so, for 30+ years, ate it daily).

We opted to remove all peanuts from the house (PB, nut snacks, trail mix, etc.).

The question I asked myself, and will continue to revisit, is: Could I live with the consequences of accidental exposure? For me, the answer is No.

I do know other families, though, who have made similar choices. At some point in the future, when my son is old enough to take some responsibility for his personal safety (maybe when he's in grade school?), we'll probably revisit it.

I think you are being realistic - I could not imagine my life with out peanut butter - luckily I do not have to deal with it, but I think I would do things simmilarly.

If your son's allergy is that severe, I don't think you need to feel guilty for eliminating peanuts from the house. Buy sunbutter and your daughter will learn to love it just as much.

My son is allergic to dairy, eggs, and nuts but we keep all of them in the house. His reactions if he consumes them are bad, but he is ok being around them. I don't eat many nuts in general, and almost never do if he is around, but I consume milk and eggs around him daily.

Depending on the allergy, some people can't even smell the item without being in trouble. If your son is not one of those people, I don't think you're terrible. I would also be VERY careful with it. Treat it like the medications you also don't want them getting into.

My DD has an allergy (not as bad as your son's) to apples and her sister loves apples. We have taught DD (3) that she is allergic to apples - they make her sick and make her break out in bad rashes. She will tell you - whether it's an apple in the store or an apple in a book - that she's allergic. When SD has an apple, DD doesn't even ask. Apples are SUCH a staple of childhood (like peanut butter) and I'm not paranoid about it, but I do think she needs to know because she needs to speak up for herself at other people's homes if they forget. She also knows that apples come in many colors and are different from the pears she can have.

Friend of mine doesn't have a totally eggs/dairy/wheat free home, but she does cook carefully and most of the time the family eats what the older son eats because it's easier. She always brings a treat to events where she knows there will be food he can't have so he has something he likes and can eat. If you didn't spend a lot of time with them, you wouldn't even notice.

Come to think of it, my own sister couldn't have corn when she was a toddler and she had her own special jar of jelly (for example) that I wasn't allowed to have. I remember wanting her jar more than mine because it was different.

No I don't think you're a horrible mom. You're doing what you feel is right for your family. I do have 2 little ones w/life threatening FA's my 3 yr old to peanuts/tree nuts & my 7 yr old eggs I thought it best go free (not completely but we are mostly) & my reasoning was when we are out in the "world" we do have to be very diligent about what & who they come into contact w/my 7 yr old at the age of 3 yrs old was very aware of her FAs & was very vocal as she has gotten older she does stress & worry so I want both my kids to feel that they can be completely safe & free of stress & worry when they are at home. Our pantry that the kids can get into is completely free, the fridge the lower shelves whatever is in reach is their shelf so free; we have a drawer in the fridge that has sour cream, cheese & yogurt & they know it's off limits but again not within their reach; I also have 2 wicker baskets that has bread, bagels & what not that they know is free, kitchen cabinets are off limits because they know it's not within their reach. We have a standup freezer in our basement that has ice cream & other things that have or may contain where as our kitchen freezer has all safe things. That helps when we have a sitter as well so their is no confusion about where things are My daughter loves PB but to me peanut oil/residue is different, hubby & I both love PB I mean spoon in the jar eating PB :0) but I won't chance it so we do sunbutter. But that's my choice & what I thought was best.

ETA: My 7 yr old was diagnosed at 7 months w/life threatening FA to dairy/dairy derivatives but has recently outgrown.(eggs was diagnosed at 12 months) On occasion not very often where I have prepared things that were not diary or egg free I have separate cookware, bakeware & cooking utensils so there was no chance of cross contamination.

I think you're being realistic and responsible, and preparing your son well for the real world.

If it is life threatening we would have a peanut free house. My daughter was allergic to milk and corn when she was younger but it was not life threatening so we did not have a milk/corn free house. She learned what and what she could not eat. I have Celiac and my husband would die if he had to eat gluten free. I just have my own jars of things like peanut butter, jelly, butter and thing that may get contaminated when someone else uses it. I am also allergic to shrimp and my husband will still have it every once and awhile. He does have to be very careful though because if the shrimp just touches anything I am eating I will become violently ill. I really believe that children with allergies need to learn what and what they can and cannot eat and at home is the best place for them to learn.

I agree with the other moms. You have to be cautious within your family. Everyone has their own way of dealing with issues that come up within their groups/lives. My son has a bleeding disorder. I do not restrict him from things, at least not completely. I want him to enjoy life and have fun but learn how to deal with things also. There are parents with this problem or similar that will n ot allow their son to do anything that might possibly cause a problem. I cannot bubble wrap my kids so they have to learn to deal with everything that comes their way. Would I peanut proof my home, probably not but like another poster said I might be scared to death of something accidently touched if life threatening.

No, you're not a bad mom. You're just practical. Two of my three children have life threatening allergies to milk and nuts. I have all of that stuff in my house and feed it to my one child who doesn't have allergies. Why should he suffer because of someone else's allergies?

That being said, I am very careful about cross contamination and keeping the allergens away from the kids with allergies. There are some houses where I can't let the kids go for play dates because there is just too much pet dander (my kids also have asthma and are allergic to dogs and cats) or milk spills in the carpet.

My daughter is 6 years old, and she always makes people aware of her allergies if they offer her food. My other son is only one year old, so I have to keep a close eye on him and make my three-year-old son responsible for keeping his sippy cups of milk away from his younger brothers.

I have also become an expert at seeing the early signs of anaphylaxis and administering Benadryl right away. I have never used an epi-pen, but I have several and have come close to having to administer the shot.

I think how you're handling it now is just fine.

I have never had an allergen free house. My daughter is 14 and has been fine. THe only time I messed up was early one morning I gave her a rice based cereal, luckily she didn't need the epipen, just a couple teaspoonns of Benadryl.
I used to mark things with rice and soy, but now she can read her own labels if she is not familiar with the food.

She, very early on, was able to tell people NO to certain foods she knew were rice based or had any number of the other allergens in them. Her list is about 25 items long.