Didn't Get into Preschool. Now What? :(

Updated on December 13, 2009
R.K. asks from Warren, MA
5 answers

My son has been in EI since January and is making progress but I know he still needs help and so doesn't his coordinator the problem is is that he had his preschool eval and didn't qualify to start when he turns 3 in April. My biggest worry is that he will go backwards and become that very quiet child that just sits in the corner and watches what is going on in the room. He is finally coming at of his shell and starting to interact with people and will now tolerate another child playing next to him. The team that did his preschool eval said that he did good although I don't see where they got that from. His speech varies sometimes you can tell what he's saying other times you can't infact the first thing the head of the department said to me when she heard him talks was "They dropped him from speech?" I really feel it has to do with all the budget cuts that schools have been making lately. My question is where do I go from here? I have his team meeting on Monday to discuss why he didn't qualify and get copies of their reports.
Edited: Evan has an expressive language delay he has the words but cannot get them out, has spd, he has a delay in self care, he is delayed in social/emotional skills. His fine and gross motor skills are wonderful partly due to him being a seeker.

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answers from Lewiston on

You are right that part of it does have to do with money and funding... but also your son is only three and lot's of prek programs will take the fours first. It is much more important for those who only have one year left before kindergarten to get in to preschool. I would look around in your area and get him into a playgroup - it sounds right now that speech and social skills are your biggest concerns? Being around other children should help with that. If you can't find a playgroup just try to get him around kids as regularly as possible (but make sure you're not getting together with kids who may be bad influences). Also - have you looked into a private preschool program (if you can afford that) or even head start? I know with Head Start they work the same way, taking 4's first but it couldn't hurt to check. It depends on what a high demand there is for it in your area. If you don't meet the income guidelines, some H.S. programs allow overincome people into the program if there is not a waiting list for those underincome, age eligible kids.

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answers from Boston on

you are his first and most important advocate. go to his team meeting and be strong and tell them your fears of him backsliding and his therapist needs to back you.. that's insane that he gets services now but they won't qualify him for preschool.. you may have to fight and be a pain about it, but he's your son and this is one of the most important things you can do for him right now.. if you are not happy with the results, tell them you will not sign the reports until he's reevaluated.. once you sign, it's a done deal. good luck...



answers from Boston on

It sounds like you are going through the official process for IEP Individual Education Plan. I am awaiting results from that testing for my daughter. My original "consent to test" form from the team leader of the Special Education group in Groton came with an explanation booklet. In it there is a process for if you do not agree with the outcome. It is an arbitration process. I understand that after they have received my consent the school in Mass has 45 days to evaluate and set a meeting with the parents. 2 Days before the meeting the results of all the testing should be sent to me in writing (IQ test, OT assessment, reading/writing assessment, etc.) My daughter is in 4th grade now and since 1st grade has had trouble reading and since the middle of 3rd grade I suspect she has dyslexia. There is a lot of push-back that she is "age appropriate" when I know she is not. You will need to advocate for your child and push back hard. It is not an easy process. The schools do not care about a diagnosis since they are only legally required to see if a child qualifies for special ed. The lingo and requirements are like a new language - very confusing. Find out from your elementary school or preschool principal who the "team chair person" is for Special Ed in your schools and ask for advise. Good luck.


answers from Providence on

Your son is not even 3 yet. He's still a baby as far as I'm concerned.

My son turned 3 in July and he doesn't even have a full vocab yet, and there are still lots of words he says that only I can understand. I refused early intervention help knowing that his vocab problems stem from him not attending daycare...he stays home with me and he is an only child. I also refused early intervention because I knew there were no developmental problems with my son and that his speech would improve when he was ready. And it has, all of a sudden he says so many words now.

I feel that your son will develop at his own pace, as boys tend to be slower developers than girls. You don't say if he has any health problems attributing to him being in EI...I'm assuming he's in early intervention because your doctor recommended it? If that's the case, and there are no health problems, then I say listen to your motherly instincts. Do YOU think your child is "slower" than other kids? If yes then fight for him to get the services he needs. If not, then relax and let him develop at his pace.

My son is nowhere near shy but some kids prefer to sit back and watch, to take everything in and go from there. No biggie. Kids develop differently and at their own pace. It's society and doctors that label them and put them in developmental brackets.

I agree with the other answer you've received pointing out NOT to sign anything until you totally agree with it. I'd even get second and third opinions from other pediatricians regarding your son's developmental abilities. I'm sure he's overwhelmed at 2 with all that's going on around him and nothing is wrong.

Best of luck with everything...and give your son a big hug and kiss for coming this far so soon :)



answers from Boston on

You can get an outside evaluation and then ask for a 2nd meeting. There is abook to get that will help you with this called From Emotions to Advocacy by Pete and Pam Wright is a good one. Also The Complete Guide to the IEP by Lawrence Siegel.

What are his issues? his RX? delays? spectrum? find a local or online support group with other families with the same issues and they can help you will how to get what you need. you need to fight for him and be ready to be as strong as you can as he needs you. Did he qualify for a 504 or an IEP? drop me a note off list if you want.

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