Did You Relocate? Are You Happy You Did?

Updated on March 22, 2011
M.O. asks from Channahon, IL
18 answers

We have the option to relocate from the Chicago burbs to the Houston burbs. My husband's company is opening an office near Houston. He would make a little more money. I have lived here my whole life, married my high school sweetheart who is also from here, and taught here.... etc....I am now staying home with my three boys ages 1, 5, and 8. I would love a change, even if it means going somewhere where I know no one! At least I think I would. My family is small, we have no cousins for my kids to play with because we come from small families where no one but us is having kids. We don't use family for sitters, but we don't go out much either. I would miss my mom, but we are not the iconic can't live without each other mother/daughter....We had a falling out with our best friends (another couple that we spent almost every day with) about 6 years ago and haven't made a ton of new friends. I find myself longing for the "new"....Did you relocate? Was it a good thing for you and your family? What were the drawbacks? We could afford a much nicer house there and the neighborhoods we looked at online seem really wonderful and active...a good place to find new friends and become involved. Any opinions are welcomed!!! I asked about the actual area the other day and got some great responses.

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much everybody!! I really appreciate your thoughts and opinions! I will be staying at home for sure! I won't be certified to teach in Texas without going back to school which is another consideration in itself.....Please keep any relocation advice coming!!! You are helping me weigh all the options!

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answers from Los Angeles on

I didn't move out of my home state, but I moved 400 miles away from my home town.
My drawbacks are I miss my friends and the family I have left (after my parents died I left).
My pro's are we bought a nice house, it's a nice change, it's a different atmosphere, many more places to visit and get out too, higher pay rate, and the big one...my bf lived here, lol.
We were in a long distance relationship. We discussed him moving to my home town, but I decided to be the one to pack everything up, leave everything/everyone I am comfortable with and move.
I guess for me I decided to leave my hometown because I felt "stuck" there. I had a good job, but not my dream job, I always said I was going to go back to school, but never did, I had the same routine with the same places I went.
I am totally happy with my choice, and would do it all over again.
Oh I wanted to share because my SO made a good point. My biggest complaint when I moved was how hot it was in So cal compared to my home town in Nor cal. he told me after a year I would be used to it...and I swear I thought it was never going to happen....I did get used to it!

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answers from Tulsa on

Texas is not Yankee friendly. Larger cities would be more welcoming. Are you looking at the Woodlands? It looks great on paper.

Texas is so huge and it takes forever to get anywhere. You would have access to Hous ston, a plus. It costs a lot of time and money to get back home. You will miss home. It will be such a change. The money is not worth it.

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answers from Memphis on

Sounds to me like you already know the answer, you're just a little scared! That's understandable! So you make the move...what's the worst that could happen?? You don't like it? So move back, then! I think people think of moving as this GIANT permanent thing so they just stay where they are. Take it from someone who has moved all over the place--it's not that big of a deal! Your kids are young enough that making friends is still easy. Houston and the rest of Texas is pretty dang cool, and living in a new place really expands everyone's horizons. It's a good thing! I love my family and old friends, but I married a military man/FedEx pilot so we live on the other side of the country now. I literally knew NO ONE when we moved here. It was tough at first, but I got busy and I never thought I would say this, but I am starting to really like Memphis! One piece of advice--you're going to need to get busy and get out of the house if you want to really make this a successful move. I spent a couple of months lonely and moping until I realized I needed something for me. I went for it and I now have more friends here than I did at home! I'll message you the details about that because it would fit in great with you, your family life, Houston, and making you some friends, but I know we're not supposed to leave links in our responses.

Just want to say one more time, too, I LOVE Texas!

K. H.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

My husband & I moved from NY to the DFW area 5 years ago and have never regretted it! We both left our extended family up north and didn't know anyone here in TX. I admit I miss my parents, but they visit quite a bit, and always have a great time.

We have made wonderful friends here -- and the funny thing is that most people I meet aren't actually from TX, but moved here for the same reasons we did.... better jobs, better economy, etc.

Good luck with your decision - I think you'd like Houston area, it's quite beautiful. And if you do decide to go ahead and make the move - ask some of the moms from that area for some opinions on neighborhoods... I'm sure you'll get some great advice.

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answers from Phoenix on

Sounds like the perfect opporuntity for a new adventure!

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answers from Houston on

I relocated to katy and i think i answered your question yesterday. and my answer is yes i did relocate and yes i am glad i did people are more friendly here than where i come from more jobs, more stores and resturants and yes i think i would do it again. where i come from i didnt have many friends and have made a ton here. but its a diffrent breed of people. i have made more friends in 6 moths than i had in 6 yrs there. :)

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answers from Colorado Springs on

I like change too, so I understand where you are coming from. I've moved several times, and each time I've learned something. Life is too short to live in the same place forever! BUT don't expect life to really change once you get there. It is what you make of it! No matter where you live, people are busy with their own lives and busy with their kids. I lived in TX for 13 years. I was never fond of it. I have also lived in Oklahoma, Nebraska, So California, Kansas and Colorado. We call Colorado home and love it here, but nature and the outdoors are a huge part of our life. The weather in TX is awful, but since you are from Chicago it's probably not much worse. There is little in the way of nature in TX. It's mostly concrete. I like the values there and strong Christian influence. I like how conservative it is. It is VERY cheap to buy a house, you can live large in TX for cheap. But plan on spending lots of time in your house or shopping, cause there really isn't anything else to do in Texas. I think 75% of Texas come to my state for Spring Break to snow ski. I think the reason housing is so cheap there is because people need to save money so they can leave TX as much as possible!

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answers from Pittsburgh on

I say DO IT! Where we used to live, I was closer to family and honestly did not see them that often. My mom has passed and even though there were cousins for my kids, we lived 10 minutes from them and only saw them on holidays. So I certainly understand where you are coming from.
A fresh start may be exactly what you need. When my husband was presented with an opportunity to move to another state, we did our research and jumped at the chance. It was the best move we have EVER made. Our kids are so happy, we are happy, I absolutely love OUR house (if we had stayed where we were we would not have been able to buy one) we could not ask for a better neighborhood or neighbors. It has just been an all around great move for our entire family. I have more friends now then I think I ever had before (living in the same area where I grew up). Our priority was schools so we searched for a home based on the school district we liked best. You can always "Go Home Again" so take the opportunity, it may be what you are searching for.
Good Luck

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answers from Houston on

Lots of good advice here. Because of my husband's job it's unlikely we'll ever move out of state....something I used to wish for but now that our children are in school and we have more family who have moved near us it would be hard to leave. If you are staying at home, I'd suggest looking into joining a moms group. I know the Katy area has a very active MOMS Club (www.momsclub.org) where you could meet other moms, make new friends for you and your kids and get to know the area more easily. Good luck!

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answers from Chicago on

I moved many times as a kid and I HATED it, moreso when I grew up and had no attachments to anyone anywhere. (now i live in chicago because it's the last place my parents were before I went to college - so I stayed here). You're just talking about moving once though, so that's a lot less of a big deal.. just keep in mind that it's HOT AS HELL in Houston, starting in about may through about october, with crazy humidity. (I actually prefer the crazy winters here to the humidity and heat there!) If you don't mind that, then I'd say go for it! also, yes you can definitely get a bigger house in houston, but it won't have a basement, so hopefully you'll have another place to store your xmas things, etc....



answers from Chicago on

We relocated away from family/friends early in our marriage (w/o kids) we were very close to everyone and proximity was close (Wisconsin) Even though we were able to come back for major things ie. holidays etc. I was very conflicted that we were always missing more.

Fast foward...we then had a family and had the opportunity to move back to Chicago. It has been a very different experience and not what I thought coming home would be. We really weren't missing anything. Everybody goes about thier everyday business and we really don't see everyone as much as we thought we would. Mostly major holidays etc. and we are close with family and friends.

My point is this is about you as a family, getting out of your "comfort" zone sometimes is a good thing. It will force you to make new friends, although this is mostly harder for you. Your kids will have school friends and your husband will have work friends. It was actually harder for me moving back because I am SAHM and most of my friends are working moms. So it did force me to meet other SAHM.

I would not be hesitant to move again if it was the right thing for my family. I would however tell you to check it out in person and do your research online to pinpoint areas you would like to live. Also if there are any fellow employees your husband can talk to as well. Things look very different on paper/computer than in person.

You will know after a visit in your gut if this is the right thing to do. You know your family the best...Will this lead to a better position for your husband? Do you think your kids will be happy? Will you be happy? The last question is the key, because how you deal with this transition will have the biggest impact on how your family views the move....sorry for the pressure!


answers from Charlotte on

i moved from phoenix to charlotte. i was excited for the change but very sad by the thought of leaving my family and friends. we are in the process again of relocating from charlotte to orlando..... i dont think it will be as hard this time because i really dont have any attachment to here....



answers from Baton Rouge on

I was a relocation child you could say =0)! We moved to LA from NY. It was nice to have more money, a bigger house but the education system here is horrible, I feel like I missed out on getting a better education & I went to the #1 school in the state. Make sure you are moving somewhere where your children will have a better future. I didn't get to grow up around family like grandparents & aunts, uncles & cousins which kinda sucked I missed not having that connection! My dad told me he has regrets but I think it was mostly Louisiana in general! =0)



answers from Minneapolis on

We relocated from Mn to Seattle 6 years ago, No family no friends where we moved, we met a lot of people have a lot of friends there but we only lasted just shy of 5 years there, we now live 3.5 hours away from family and it is perfect. We really missed family, and it costs a lot to fly/drive a family of five halfway across the country. we have kids 10mo, 4yrs 6yrs and it is so great to be back with family...or closer too so they can spend time with them.

This is just us..everyone is different. We make a lot less where we are now (cheaper livign though) but for us it is worth the lesser pay.



answers from Dallas on

I think you should go for it, for the same reasons in the posts below. We may actually have the opportunity to relocate to the Houston area soon, too! I am hoping for a fresh start myself.

Anyway, make sure you check out www.har.com if you haven't aleady. It is an incredible site for finding homes for sale in the Houston area, and you can check out the ISD and specific school ratings with ease. Good luck to you!!


answers from Dallas on

It will be different........warmer for one - GREAT winters! Disgustingly humid in the summer though.

I left home and actually met my husband working in another city. We settled and made friends there and it was fine. However, when my son was born I did miss my family and moved back for support. If you don't feel like you need that then why not go for it. Sounds like you really want to.

If it is horrible then you can ask your husband to try and find something back in Chicago and when possible, go back, but I don't believe it will be horrible. You have young children and it's fairly easy to find friends if you become involved in their schools.

Go for it!


answers from Chicago on

I moved countries for my husband's job so its slightly more stressful but one thing I have come to realise is that there is so much of the world out there to see and staying in one place is limiting your exposure to new sights and people. The hardest thing for me was when my family or friends had babies and I wasn't there to see them grow and also being able to rely on friends or family to babysit, I solved these issues by quickly joining a professional babysitting site and getting a regular sitter established.I also found it to be lonely at first and found myself on Facebook alot and I really had to push myself to get out and meet new people and make connections but 18 months on I haven't felt too home sick and I have quite a few close friends I share lots with now. Your kids are young enough to cope, I wouldn't advise doing it any later than 12 years old because of school and friendships. If you do it now and it doesn't work out you can always come home and say - well I tried it at least! We rented our house out so we could return if we needed to, sort of dipped our toes rather than dived into the whole experience! When I look back I do miss all the familiar things but there are lots of great new things to enjoy and we really have had so much fun exploring and making new connections. Planning and research is the key to making it work but you already sound like you have made a good start. Hope you give it go!



answers from Springfield on

I say GO FOR IT! My husband was in the Army for over 10 years so we moved a lot. We lived in 3 different states and even a foreign country during my DH time in the Army. Some places we liked better than others but ultimately it was always a great experience.

It sounds like, other than your mom, you have no good reason to stay in Chicago. Your children are still young so pulling them out of school won't be a huge issue. Part of the reason my DH got out of the Army was because our children are getting older (our oldest is in the 7th grade) and we wanted to finally settled down so our kids could stay in one school from now until they graduate. My thought is, you're kids are young enough that you could move to Houston and if you ended up hating it then you could always move back to Chicago. Obviously, if you could find a job to come back to, that is.

Also, a little advice if you decide to move: it can be hard to make friends as a stay at home mom. Working moms have the advantage of office friendship to help get them started in a new place. So, you'll have to make much more of an effort to find other mamas. I was a SAHM for the 10 years of DH Army time and making friends was always the hardest part of a move for me. I suggest going to mommy and me classes, joining the YMCA or local gym, anything to meet people. Something I was told years ago was: for the first couple months after a move, take everyone up on their offers. Meaning, if someone invites you over for a play date then you need to go or if you're invited to a Pampered Chef party (or similar home party) then you need to go. You may not stay in contact with these "inviters" but they could also end up being your BFF.

Good luck!

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