Did You Have a "Bad Sleeper?"

Wakefulness is normal. If you can just ignore him when he is wakeful and allow him to self-soothe, this may allow him to learn to sleep properly. At this age, he definitely doesn't need to eat in the middle of the night, although I can understand why you're doing it. We all need to get sleep somehow! Have you read, "On Becoming Babywise" by Gary Ezzo? It's intended for parents of babies, but even at your son's age, the concepts may still be helpful to you. My older daughter was a nightmare sleeper, and with my second daughter, I asked everyone I knew if they had any ideas for me so I could get some sleep - I kept hearing that I should read Babywise (from friends with happy, normal, well-adjusted kids). It totally saved my sanity with my second child. She began sleeping through the night at a month old - so I know from word of mouth AND personal experience that it works.

Bottom line, once your child knows how to soothe himself back to sleep (without your involvement), it doesn't matter if he wakes up, he will know how to get himself back to sleep, so you can all get decent rest. Also, the time of evening when you put him down to sleep may make a difference. At this age, they should go down super early - like 6pm. I know that sounds crazy, but for some reason, babies' brains are wired to want to go to sleep then, and they can and will sleep for 12 hours straight if they're put down at the right time.

Anyway, Babywise! Hang in there, sister, you can turn this around!

ETA: We used the Babywise books mentioned by Catherine in the first post.

Since you read all the responses on the other CIO thread, I won't cut/paste.

But yeah, we did CIO/ferber/self soothing (I think they're basically all the same - basically) BECAUSE he wasn't sleeping through the night. He wasn't taking regular naps, and his nap times rarely exceeded 45min to an hour.

No matter what method, we found consistency to be the key.

Pick three nights - buy earplugs and just do it. He will survive, and learn to self soothe. And then the day naps fall into place too. :)

Oh boy, I know a mom of 2 (also a pediatrician) who has 2 HORRIBLE sleepers. CIO wound up working for 1 kid. Not for the other.

And by CIO, I mean, put them down for the night - close the door - and don't go back in until morning. At all. No patting. No soothing. Nothing. (this is what we did for our #2).

My son is a terrible sleeper, and he's almost 4. We have no idea what to do. He's well past the crib. At several points every night, he is up banging on his door. Just...awake. If we don't lock him in, we wear holes in the carpet walking him back to bed. I'm at the point where I'm ready to go see a pediatric sleep specialist.

So...I feel your pain. I have no words of wisdom if CIO doesn't work for you. It made my daugher an AWESOME sleeper. I wish we'd done it with DS.

I'd try two things:

First: Purchase a sound machine, my kids all have had one at one point in time, this is the one I have (actually, 3 of them)...

http://www.amazon.com/Marpac-SleepMate-980A-Electro-Mecha...

And Second: Talk to your pediatrician about using some Melatonin to help him sleep better.

Unless there is a medical issue, he will eventually settle into better sleep habits:)

All those are good suggestions. I would not recommend ever lock your kid in his room no matter how desperate you get.
First be very patient.
My son was a horrible sleeper.. took months until he slept through the night...

I breast fed my son until he was two years and four months old. When he was weaned, he slept through the night.

When my son became very verbal, about four years old, I asked him why he used to wake up so often at night. He said, "I thought I was supposed to."

My second daughter woke up every 2 hours and I would have to nurse her back to sleep, until she was over a year old. When I was just too tired to do it anymore I put a mattress on the floor in her room right next to her crib. I would nurse her and put her in her crib for bed. I would start the night in my bed. When she would wake up I would go to her room and lay down next to her and rub her back or hold her hand. I had to get in there early before she started crying or I would have to pick her up, but if I made it before she woke all the way up I could just be near her and she would go back to sleep. Then I would stay in her room in case she woke up again. It took about 2 weeks but she would finally sleep through the night. Hope you guys get some sleep soon! :)

My older daughter is an awful sleeper too. She is 3 years now and still wakes up 2x a night typically. At 15 months, she was like your son. My main advice is to try to change something now - i think the earlier you change it, the better - we just thought she would outgrow it but she still hasn't and years are hard to wait. Have you read the no-cry sleep solution by Elizabeth Pantley? There is a version for toddlers and one for babies. I'm not sure where a 15 month would fit in. It is a great method that doesn't involve crying it out and works - it just takes some time. Still, even if it takes a month or two, it is better than waiting for years. We are doing it with my younger daughter and loving it. I wish I had known about it for my older daughter.

This is just a theory but I think the light sleepers are caused by not making enough noise when they were younger. I have always kept the noise level up in the day, down at night, no night lights or any of that stuff we think our kids need and all four of my kids slept like rocks since the day they were born.

Okay the since the day they were born was luck but my kids have never woke up at night except for the random bad dream or particularly loud thunder storm.

Oh and Andy went through night terrors but I was told he wasn't actually awake then either.

Hi!!!! You sound exactly like me!!!! A little background: our first daughter, who is now 8, was an awful sleeper. Like you, the 1st year she slept in the same room as us, because we were in a smaller place. When we moved, she slept in our bed for 6 months. I nursed her to sleep for a year. My husband was so over it....he wanted me back...so I weaned her off at 1 year. My husband would sit on a chair in her room until she fell asleep. I couldn't be anywhere near her at night because she associated me with sleep.
We now have another baby who is 22 months. We started off good, but fell into the same pattern with her. I nursed her until she was 18 months and then, like before, my husband felt like he needed me back. So instead of weaning, I completely cut her off from breastfeeding. It was horrible for both her and I (I had terrible engorgement), but within 5 days, we were both good. She still remained in our bed however.
Sunday will be two weeks that we have put her in her crib. Like you, I was totally against the CIO method. But, my husband and i were tired of the song and dance to get her to sleep. Our evenings were spent laying down with her until she fell asleep and then we had to tiptoe away. By then we are so tired that we wind up falling asleep and not having any time together alone in the evenings. So I gave in....it was horrible! We put her down at 9:14pm and she cried until 12:30am!!!! But the next night it was for about 15 min., the next night 10, and now she lays down right away!!!
I know how you feel, you feel bad about them crying and choking, but the truth is they are fine. They won't die and they will have no memory of this. We are doing the right thing for them because they need their sleep and they need to have a certain independence...it's good for them and for us! My marriage is stronger because of it and I can look forward to having some well deserved down time.
So, sacrifice 2-3 nights of crying, but it is soooooooo worth it!!! If you start Sun. night, by Tues or Wed the routine will be down.
Lots of luck!!!!!
D.

If there is a pattern that you can see, then I believe he is getting up out of habit. If your husband is willing to help-this is what we did in our house-we all share a bedroom out of necessity and did this to get our daughter to sleep through. I was also breastfeeding. Our pediatrician suggested Daddy getting up with a bottle with water in it to offer. After the first night of this, one wake up disappeared for us. After like 3 nights they both disappeared (she was only getting up twice but it was consistent). She would occasionally awake and we would let her settle herself down but kept a bottle with water close "just in case". Not sure if this would help but it might be worth a try-everyone needs rest. Good luck.

When your son wakes:
1) is he crying or screaming?
2) or is he just awake and babbling to himself, etc.?

IF he is just awake, and babbling to himself etc., and relatively fine... I would just let him be. Don't go in there, don't interrupt him, and don't turn on any lights and don't talk or engage with him. Just let him be. And he may very well go back to sleep on his own.
My son, was like that at times. But, even if he was awake and fine... (he was not screaming or crying), then I just let him be. And he'd go back to sleep on his own. My "interrupting" him, would actually then, make him more awake and get him more tweaked. And I knew, his sounds and cries. And what it meant.

Or try white noise in his room. I used a fan with my kids as babies, and I just turned on the fan on low. That was enough to mask the outside sounds.

Is your son getting enough food/milk intake during the day? Is he hungry????? 15 months old is a growth-spurt period. My kids as babies had ginormous appetites. And even at that age.

Does your son nap? Being over-tired or having lack of sleep, actually.... makes it HARDER for a child to sleep. And they wake more.

Does your son, have a "Lovey" to cuddle with and sleep with for comfort? If not, maybe he needs one. Like a stuffed animal or something. My son loved his stuffed animal to sleep with and just have.

YES. My firstborn was a horrible sleeper. For the first two years, she never napped for more than 45 minutes. I really don't remember when she started sleeping through the night, but it probably wasn't until she was around 18 months old. The sleeping issue miraculously resolved itself on its own, even though I tried (to no avail) the Weisbluth method to a tee and then also CIO. She is six years old now, and still hates sleeping. She typically ends up sleeping about 10 hours a night.

My second child was a great sleeper from the very beginning. It was bliss. He is three and a half now and still takes naps.

My third child is 14 months old and has been sleeping through the night now for.....about two weeks now. I was going insane with him waking up every couple of hours at night. I tried CIO, but he would cry for more than an hour and seemed to be in so much pain. His crying also kept everyone else in the house from sleeping, so I'd end up rocking him in the rocking chair and letting him sleep on my lap. (He wouldn't stay asleep if I tried to lie down with him.)

So the big revelation came when I finally realized that he was suffering from allergies that I wasn't aware of. I already knew that he was allergic to milk, nuts, and eggs. But once I eliminated soy (and all other legumes), he started sleeping through the night. His eczema was much improved too. Also, my allergies have been especially bad this year, and I know whatever is floating around outside is causing me to break out in hives and make my daughter's eyes itch. I now take 1/2 teaspoon doses of children's Benadryl throughout the day when my hives start acting up. I also give my son 1/4 teaspoon doses throughout the day too. I end up giving him 3/4 to 1 teaspoon in one 24 hour period.

I am not giving him the Benadryl to make him drowsy. At such small doses, it doesn't seem to affect him much. But now he's not scratching himself or writhing in pain. I know you had him tested for allergies, but those tests are wildly inaccurate and allergies C. fairly often -- especially in babies so young. Have you also considered the possibility of acid reflux?

I hope you can get this figured out soon. It doesn't sound like a sleep habit issue. There is probably some other reason for the sleeplessness. Good luck.

We followed Dr. Ferber's CIO method (http://www.babycenter.com/0_the-ferber-method-demystified.... Read the article, but I highly recommend reading his whole book (it not a hard read), called "Solve your child's sleep problem."

We had to do it twice, once around 8 months, and again around 18 months (after vacation messed up everyone's sleep routine, due to house sharing and nighttime fears of DS).

Dr. Ferber is a pediatric sleep specialist---and it's worth it to go to one if you can't get it done. Because sleep deprivation can hurt your health and your son's help.

Edited to add: we use blackout curtains on his windows, because he is very sensitive to llight, and we use a fan for white noise.