25 answers

Did You Have a Baby Shower?

If yes, did you have one for every child you had or just for the first one? Why or why not?

I had one for my first child but not for the second. No reason in particular, I just didn't.

What can I do next?

Featured Answers

I did for my first because she was my first and I was a single mom. I did for my second because my oldest was 5 years old and I did not have anything left baby wise. With my third my friend insisted I have one because every baby is worth celebrating. I did not feel I needed the third on because my youngest are only 18 months apart.

2 moms found this helpful

I only had one but had 2 boys so really didn't need anything else. I have heard of people having a second one if it's a different gender and I know that in the south it is customary to have one for each child simply as a celebration!

1 mom found this helpful

My first I had a party with girlfriends and another put on by co-workers. My second, my girlfriends took me out to dinner.

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I had five showers for my first. Excessive, I know, but hear me out:
one at church
one for my MIL's group of friends
one each at two of my jobs, for work people only
one at DH's job

So no guest overlap.

I'm not a fan of showers for subsequent babies unless there are extenuating circumstances, but I was given a surprise meal shower for my third child last summer, and that was the Best. Thing. Ever.

2 moms found this helpful

I only have one child - and I did have a baby shower. I don't plan on anyone throwing me a shower for any future kids. In my opinion, it just isn't something you do...you should have most of what you need from the first...right?? Even though we plan on waiting a little while before #2, we plan on keeping all of our baby gear. Why would you need all of that stuff all over again??

If someone approached me and wanted to throw me a small "sprinkle" (what people seem to be calling subsequent showers), I wouldn't say no, but it is not something I would expect AT ALL...and I probably wouldn't register - would just say if people wanted to bring gifts we would take things like diapers, wipes, or gift cards for that type of thing. We didn't find out gender of our first and don't plan on it for future kids so we don't need clothes...if people want to buy us that when baby is born, then they can then. :-)

2 moms found this helpful

I did for my first because she was my first and I was a single mom. I did for my second because my oldest was 5 years old and I did not have anything left baby wise. With my third my friend insisted I have one because every baby is worth celebrating. I did not feel I needed the third on because my youngest are only 18 months apart.

2 moms found this helpful

I did not have a shower for either of my babies. I really don't enjoy going to showers, so I didn't want to have one. I just don't think they're fun.

For my first, a group of us did gather at a friends place for lunch and to hang out towards the end of my pregnancy. A couple of friends even flew in from out of town as a surprise. But there were no games, no gifts, and nothing shower-like about it. Just a get together before the baby game, but really not a shower.

With my second, there was pretty much nothing. And that was just fine!

1 mom found this helpful

My first I had a party with girlfriends and another put on by co-workers. My second, my girlfriends took me out to dinner.

1 mom found this helpful

Four showers were thrown for me when I was pregnant with my first. No guest over lap.
I politely declined an offer from friends to host a shower for my second, it just didn't seem right.

1 mom found this helpful

Just the 1st. I didn't really want the 1st one, so no way I would have 2 more.

1 mom found this helpful

I only had one but had 2 boys so really didn't need anything else. I have heard of people having a second one if it's a different gender and I know that in the south it is customary to have one for each child simply as a celebration!

1 mom found this helpful

There were two showers for my first, one thrown by family members in my home town and the other thrown by coworkers and friends where we were currently living (both were supposed to be a surprise). I am pregnant with my second and my coworkers at my current job threw a small shower for me (again it was a surprise), family is not going to throw another one. We only needed a few things the second time around since we are having a girl and had a boy the first time, so there is really no need for another big shower. Either way I never threw my own showers, it was up to those around me to decide to have one or not. I don't really think it's necessary for subsequent children.

1 mom found this helpful

I had one for all three! No particular reason except with each child someone (all different people) wanted to give me one and told me to show up! :-)
Maybe everyone felt sorry for me since my first baby ended up making a special guest appearance the day before the shower which made it pretty much a bust of a shower! lol

1 mom found this helpful

I had 4 showers for 5 kids...

After the first one I really didn't want another but the family insisted...

I had one with my first
one with my second ( my ex's first child)
one with my 4th ( my husbands first child)
one with my 5th ( my first girl out of the group)

1 mom found this helpful

gods, yes.
i thought it would never end.
i'm so eternally grateful that i didn't have to endure one with my second.
edited to add, after seeing meredith's post, that a glorious, heavenly friend DID bring me a gourmet family meal when baby #2 was about a week old and i thought i was going to die with overwhelmedness. tablecloth. flowers. silverware and crystal. fun food for my 4 year old. it was the best thing EVER!
khairete
curmudgeonly S.

1 mom found this helpful

No, no baby shower at all. No one offered.

Hi T.,
Usually whether you have a shower for each pregnancy depends on whether someone decides to throw you one, pregnant mom doesn't typically decide this as she does not throw the shower. I was surprised to have a small shower thrown by a family member with my first baby, as my family is Jewish and that's traditionally not done and no one else in the family had one. Many people feel showers are for the big equipment which you only need once and that it's not nice to obligate people numerous times. I had work showers with both pregnancies, many workplaces make you a shower no matter what number pregnancy it is.
Sure, it's great to say that each pregnancy and baby deserves to be celebrated, but a shower is an occasion where people are expected to give gifts.
ONe of the most fun showers I ever went to was for a friend having a fourth baby. She didn't have showers for any of the other kids, and this was an "oooops" baby so she didn't have any baby stuff anymore.

First son - My now husband (best friend at the time) threw me a shower with a bunch of people HE knew, but I didn't. Lovely thought, but hardly got anything useful. :)
Second Son - My husband threw a surprise party with some of my family and his friends. Again, lovely thought, but not a lot of stuff I needed. (got TONS of bottle stuff...I am a breast feeder)
My third child, daughter - My son's godmother threw one for me. I got to register and invite MY friends and family and had a LOVELY time. Got things we wanted and needed.
I am blessed.
Laura

I was given showers for all 6 of my children. I didn't ask for or expect showers for any of them, but I have people in my life who love me and love my children. ;) None of these showers were thrown by family either. None of my family has ever lived near us. We do believe that all children are special and we celebrate them!

I never understood why its considered tacky to have a baby shower number 2 so close to baby number 1. I guess in theory its because you should have everything you need from baby number 1, but many babies are not born that close together or the same sex. Still its silly if you got a crib for baby 1 you will need one for baby 2 no? lol. Some people think its a way to get your friends to buy you everything you need.

Personally I didnt have any showers for my first two kids, no reason in particular, I guess its because I didnt have any family around at the time. MY boys are 18 months apart so I may not have gotten a second shower lol. My daughter was 10 years later and my friends and in laws gave me a shower which I knew about. In my family we used to have them 'after' the baby was born but with sonograms now a days we dont anymore.

Funny thing I just recently heard about a 'baby sprinkle' which is a mini type of shower designed for baby 2,3,...etc... the things they come up with lol. Babys should be celebrated no matter if its 1st born, 2nd born, etc.

yes to all three of my kids, they each got a celebration and a scrapbook page to commemorate it, including a box full of the decorations to go into their keepsake boxes.

each shower was more intimate than the next with less presents and more focus on games and food.

yes. I had one for my second child because we knew it was a boy. Five years apart. Girl first. If they are close in age and the same sex, I would not.

I ended up with 5 showers with my son... no guest overlap with us, either.

- My family
- His family
- My work
- His work
- My friends

Showers for each child, or only the first, is a byproduct of "family rules" and local culture. In our family, a shower for each child. In some areas we've lived that's the norm... in other areas, it's not. EITHER way (multiple showers or only 1 shower), the opposite is considered rude/tacky/disrespectful.

My first kid I had a planned actual real baby shower, my second kid came early so we had a pamper party in my hospital room. Everyone brought pampers and we had cake/punch. It was my friend idea. My third kid I had a baby shower dinner at a restaraunt. Everyone had to buy their own food and bring gifts too. Another one of my friend odd idea's. And my last baby shower was at my church. Tons of gifts!

I had a shower for both of my pregnancies. The first one was thrown by one of my best friends. Then 5.5 years later I got pregnant again. I had a 2nd baby shower given to me by my "mom friends" I had made. My 2nd baby was a different sex so everyone was excited to get me girl clothes. In those 5 years I had been to 2nd and 3rd baby showers for each of these moms...to me it is not tacky, it is just a fun celebration. We all lived in Alaska and had no family nearby to do things like this for us. We all wanted to give baby showers for each other because we would be so very excited about that new baby!

It isn't really expected to have more than one shower. It comes from a time where people were much more frugal and didn't need more and more. They took care of their items knowing they were going to have a family therefore it was not needed. They still had all the clothes from the first child and most of it was either green, yellow, or some sort of unisex outfit. They only need one stroller, one high chair, one car seat, etc...

However, all children are a wonderful blessing and should not do without.

I have hosted a second shower for a dear friend at church. She had 4 boys and was finally pregnant with a girl. Her hubby worked for Walmart and she was a stay at home mom. They were not poor but certainly not well off.

We had cute invitations, lots of food, cute games to play, lots of girly stuff, and I showed up, the co-hostess showed up, the pregnant mom showed up, and one person out of about 50 that were invited.

When I asked a couple of them why they didn't come they all told me they thought it was tacky and the parents should have prevented the pregnancy if the didn't have the means to take care of the child when it got there.

That is one of the reasons I don't go to that church any more.

Most of the time when a baby is born the friends who come visit will bring gifts to the hospital. If they visit during the first couple of weeks they will usually bring something too. That is what I would think is appropriate.

I have one child. I had two showers: family and a work shower.

I had one for my first and third. I had none for the second because in my world that is tacky. The third because we had not planned on having any more so we gave everything away and there was nine years between my middle two. None with the fourth because in my world it is still tacky.

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