Did You Do a Birthday Party When Your Kids Turned 2? - Santa Rosa,CA

Updated on July 18, 2013
C.P. asks from Santa Rosa, CA
27 answers

My daughter is turning 2 next month and she's our second child. I know that shouldn't make a difference. We did a big party for our first daughter every year and a big 1 year old party for our youngest. But this year I just feel tired. :) We are going on a family reunion to Disneyland with my husbands family the week before. So I just don't want to plan a party too. It's expensive and well she's going to be 2 and won't remember. :) My family thinks I'm playing favorites and should have a party for her. I think that going on this trip is for her too, and well that's good enough. I told my family that we would buy a cake... and if they come over and dote on her that would make her day super special! (Not a lie) Both my kids would love love love to just have cake and see them. Am I wrong in thinking that that's good enough. I just cant see inviting my husbands family back over the next week for a party after spending 4 days with them. :)

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S.B.

answers from Salt Lake City on

I did a short party when DD was 1 - friends and family came for presents and cake, tightly sandwiched in between the two naps. It was way too overwhelming for her.
We didn't do anything official for 2, we had cupcakes and gave her her presents. Grandparents gave her presents when they saw her later that week (they babysit one day a week).
She'll be 3 in a few months and I am debating. I'm inclined not to do much again this year. We might do something in between what we did at age 1 and 2, or might keep it closer to age 2.

I think having cake and having family over is a great party and more than sufficient.
Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

how is that NOT a party?
do exactly that.
she will love it, and you will not be overwhelmed.
khairete
S.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

Yes, we did. I am a believer that kid parties need not be a hoopla. They can be as simple as a playdate with cupcakes from the store. I would plan something small, if the tradition is that you have parties for kids. I think summer and holiday birthdays get shafted sometimes, with all the other plans going on.

My SD, DD and nephew are all a week off of each other and we try to accommodate each of them. August is very busy. My nephew's 2nd birthday party will be a family barbecue.

If there are other family members or friends or her friends (by 2 DD actually started to have her own friends), then invite a handful over for a low key cake and ice cream afternoon after Disney. If you want to invite the inlaws, great. Whether or not they come is up to them.

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

The only time your child may feel slighted for not having some sort of party, is when she goes through family photos and notices, she did not have the same as the older sibling... So take a lot of photos of this trip, making sure this child is shown with all of the attention that day..

But I am going to guess that if you pretty much treat them fairly equally, this issue will not come up in the future..

I remember my sister was mad because she did not see as many baby pictures of herself.. Until my father gave her boxes of slides and told her she could have all of them..she said she never imagined he had taken so many photos of her, because the were not photographs, in albums like mine..

3 moms found this helpful
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C.T.

answers from Dallas on

Cake and a small family party are totally fine for age two! You will do some things differently between your two kids, and that's not playing favorites it's just life.

My first child had large extended family parties for age 1 and 2, and parties with his little friends starting at 3. But frankly, any party before age 3 or 4 is really more for the family's sake then the child's. For my second son we had small family parties (just grandparents) for age 1 and 2, and friend parties starting at 3. But really all a 2 year old needs to have a great birthday is cake, attention, and a present. Throw in a balloon and it will be her best day ever. :-)

3 moms found this helpful

☼.S.

answers from San Diego on

Your plan sounds perfect. You don't need to be bullied into throwing a big bday bash for your child. Stand your ground. A low-key family party sounds just right for this age.

3 moms found this helpful

S.G.

answers from Grand Forks on

When my kids turned two we just had some family over for a BBQ and cake.

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J.G.

answers from Chicago on

We did with my first, but we skipped it with our second... A close friend of mine did the same!

Do a cake and balloons and call it a party.

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P.R.

answers from Cleveland on

Of course you don't need to have a party... We didn't do real parties for my 2nd either and believe me - she's fine! We started more when she was older. We just did that hat and cake etc...

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M.C.

answers from Chattanooga on

Well.. I certainly can't remember my second birthday...

My DD didn't even know it was her birthday when she turned two. She was just excited about presents when she saw them. Lol.

I highly doubt your DD will feel slighted without a party.

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M.H.

answers from Chicago on

I am with you.. My MIL had a fit becasue I was not doing a party for my daughter ( she just truend two in June). We we ended up haveing a small pool party at my MILs. which was more for me and my son, as it was our friends that were there.

My family always celebrates birthdays on Sunday near the birthday for all family members. I was just going to do that for my daughter on both sides, but I am glad we had the small party.

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P.G.

answers from Dallas on

Party with both sides, nothing crazy. Cake and balloons. You'll be with hubby's family - see if they can get the cake because you are traveling to them. Then have one for YOUR side when it's comfortable. A 2 year old is not going to care one bit what day it is or how crazy "wonderful" it is. They just want to eat the cake and play with the balloons.

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J.C.

answers from Philadelphia on

It is good enough. Don't be guilted into having a party if you don't want to. Your family should not make you feel bad. A birthday party for a 2 yo really isn't about them anyway IMO.

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S.R.

answers from Kansas City on

my son just turned four this year and we had a normal birthday party for him. i think this was the first year he really understood what a BP was. the last three years we just did a family thing. i made his favorite dinner, bought or made a cake, sang HB to him and opened gifts.... this year for his 4 year party we did an actual party and he understood..
totally up to you. personally, i would just do something very simple.
happy birthday to your daughter!

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Nope. My son's first birthday party was when he turned 4 - it was the first time he asked for a party.

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M.O.

answers from New York on

If you have a cake, and your family comes over, that IS a party. Anything bigger or more structured would just overwhelm a 2-year-old.

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

For my 2nd when she turned 2, we just invitied the family over for pizza and cake. They brought presents, that was a party enouh for us. I didn't do games or anything but I did get my 5 year old to dress up in a foofa costume ($20 partycity.com) because it was a yo gabba gabba party. Which really just means the plates I bought to eat the pizza off of had yo gabba gabba on them.
So, home made cupcakes, pizza from Costco, yo gabba gabba plates and enough relatives to make a present pile. Done and done.

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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

No, we did not.
We had the 1 year old party for both of my kids.
But then, did not make a "party" for them after that.
Only when they started to be about 4, we had "parties" for them for their birthday. They were in Preschool then, and also got invited to school classmate parties.

Its NOT up to your family to tell you what to do.
And sure, it costs money. And everyone has a BUDGET these days.
It is up to YOU.
Not your family or the in-laws.
You have to start, having your OWN... decisions about these things. Otherwise, the relatives will ALWAYS tell you what to do and how to do it and when.
Boundaries.

Again, we never made parties for our kids EACH year.
And it was our, choice. Or my kids'.
And then we simply TOLD our family.
And that's it.

Now that my kids are older, 6 and 10 years old, it is also per THEIR choice. A couple of years, my eldest didn't want a party. Fine.
We just had cake and a simple dinner at home. ONLY us.
It is not up to the in-laws or other relatives, what we do.

It is your choice, if you let in-laws or your family, meddle in your affairs or your kids'.
It is not up to them.

And you are seeing your In-Laws already... 1 week before.
Good grief.
So "let" them, at THAT time, say happy birthday to her or whatever.
At that age, its not like they are going to remember it.

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P.K.

answers from New York on

Order a cake at Disneyland at a restaurant. Think they need 48 hours. Does not get more special than that.

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J.S.

answers from Austin on

I decided after the last "big party" for my oldest who turned 4 that we would skip the big parties every other year especially since we have two now and the second with be 3 this year. We didn't do any "big parties" for my second because after doing that for my oldest, I realize she had no clue what was going on =)

This year is the "big party" year for both of them but we will still keep it simple - pizza, cake, four school friends (for the oldest) and her cousins at a jump house. For our soon-to-be 3 year old, she will also do the jump house thing, but just with family since we have about 8 kids amongst all of us and she really doesn't have a particular friend at school that she's attached too.

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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

We have close family over for a 2 hour party which includes dinner, cake and presents. Those pictures of proof will be important later. ;) We don't give friend parties until they start asking for them.

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K.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I did throw 2nd bday parties for both of my kids, but certainly don't think it's necessary. If you're going to Disneyland, that is better than any party at this age. Buy or make a cake to eat on her actual birthday and let her choose any restaurant she wants for dinner.

J.O.

answers from Boise on

There is no ryhme or reason to who get's a party in my house. Some years we do a big one for one and not another, some years it's only family. It's always acknowledged, cake and some presents, just not always a big to do.

Do something at Disney, get a cake, sing Happy Birthday, and call it good. She won't care.

D.B.

answers from Boston on

Family cake & ice cream only for a 2 year old, same for 3. That IS a party, for crying out loud! As you said, they don't remember. In fact, they get confused and stressed out and cranky. They want to know why they don't get presents every day. Don't get blamed or guilt-tripped by family members. If they want to throw the party, fine.

Your older child can learn that parties are for older kids. In general, if you keep all the parties under control through the years, it will be better for all.

My son never had friends over until age 5. He didn't care, he didn't know. We had a few family members and one neighbor who always gave him a gift and with whom we were very friendly.

When they started school, we followed the "age" rule - for age 5, we invited 5 kids. 6 years, 6 kids. And we stuck to it. No siblings, no expensive venues, no stress over $20 goody bags, no inviting the whole class, no receiving 25 presents, no nagging over 25 thank you notes. You had a couple of friends, you got a couple of gifts and the guests got to see you open them and hear you say thank you (without sitting for an hour while you opened all 25 gifts!), you played some games, the kids got a couple of trinkets, and everyone went home. We didn't spend the college tuition or orthodontia money on extravagant nonsense that's more for the adults to compete with other adults than to have kids really enjoy it. If you have 25 kids over, you have to go to 25 parties through the year, schedule at least one every other weekend, and spend a ton of money on gifts for kids your child barely knows and has nothing in common with. Start now to keep it reasonable.

If your family members don't like this, hang up the phone and don't invite them. They are getting over-involved, and you already know in your gut what you don't want to do!

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K.B.

answers from Detroit on

I think what you want to do is fine...at 2 years old, she's not going to remember or be cognizant of the fact that she's "only" getting a low-key birthday celebration. I remember as a kid all we usually did for my birthday was my mom made a cake and I had it at home with just my immediate family - they never did this big elaborate birthday party with every relative and friend coming over. I did get a birthday party at home when I turned 5, and one at McDonald's when I turned 10, but that was about it - otherwise it was maybe dinner out at a restaurant, and cake at home. It seems like only more recently people feel the need to make every birthday a big whoop-de-doo. I have been hosting a party for my daughter each year since she turned 4, because she now has more friends her own age that she likes having be a part of it, but before that, it was just us and she was fine with it. Some cake, a balloon, and some presents were good enough for her.

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M.M.

answers from Boston on

Cake and ice cream and some balloons...

Have a great time

C.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I think just a family party with cake is good enough. We always did big parties for both our kids every year. But just cake with family is fine

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