Diaper Changing Challenge

Updated on June 28, 2011
L.B. asks from Green Bay, WI
15 answers

I have a wonderful beautiful almost two year old. For awhile she would fuss and whimper when she got her diaper changed, just when you wiped her. I at first blew it off as she must just be sore and put cream on it and did diaper changes little faster. She never threw a fit or had any troubles when Daddy changed her! But when I or my mom changed her she didn't like it. It was a little bad for a bit but then got better so I forgot all about it. Well now it's back but it's worse occasionally she will even pull out real tears and clamps her legs together and cries. As soon as the diaper change is over she is 100% fine and acts like nothing is wrong. It got really bad this past week and occasionally took two people to change her diaper and she started acting up a little bit for Daddy. So I brought her to the doctor to see what was going on, possible UTI, phase, ??. They said they wanted to test for the UTI and attempted to use a catheter......BAD IDEA:( Didn't work for one and for a baby who hates her diaper being changed and touched down there to have three nurses hold her down was traumatic to say the least I am still so upset that I allowed it to happen and helped hold her hands. I am having a rough time working through that experience but they did get a sample by taping a bag to her bottom and it's negative. So has anyone else had problems like this?? Could it be just a phase that will pass?? Is something medically wrong the doctor missed. I must add it's wasn't her normal pediatrician it was a on-call one on a Saturday.

We occasionally used to to bubble baths but those are done for a long time now just in case its the bubbles causing issues. We haven't changed her diapers or wipes since birth. No new other lotions that are being used. Currently I am using soft paper towel just wet with water to quickly very quickly wipe her bottom. There is no rash or irritation that can be seen. Yes I thought the worst at first and she hasn't been around anyone new or suspicious that would have harmed her.

Any suggestions? Thanks in advance.

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So What Happened?

Thanks everyone for the advice! I am going to be firm with her and reassure her that she is ok and nothing is wrong during diaper changes. I will have my hubby and I try changing her on the floor and see if that helps. And direct my mother-in-law on what to do also as she gets away with more with Grandma and she needs to be firm with her as well. She was better during her diaper change this morning with Daddy. And Grandma just said that she had troubles still this afternoon. Hopefully with consistance and practice we will over come this. Hoping it clears up fast!! Also she has very little appetite today but I don't think that has anything to do with it other than just not being hungry.

Thanks again:)

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answers from Phoenix on

My son is the same way but he just gets up and walks away. He's 14 months. I just chalked it up to "not wanting his diaper changed" for whatever reason. I keep thinking that I just want to potty train him and be done with diapers for good. =) If she's healthy and has no rash, then she probably is just mad about having a diaper change. This might be motivation for her to potty train. My boys potty trained right around age two. My girls were older. =) Good luck!!

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answers from New York on

Sounds like a normal two year old who is asserting her independence.
She does not like her diaper being changed. I do not think anything is
medically wrong. I remember battles with two of my four kids.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from St. Louis on

you've addressed all of the medical issues.

you've thought about all of the worst-case scenarios.

Now it's time to accept that this may be a power play issue or a psyche issue for your child. Where to start? Only you can say, but my vote is for the power play issues.

Couple of ideas: watch the "1-2-3 Magic" video. It will teach you how to discipline your child. It's all in the tone of voice, the attitude, & the stand you chose to take.

Try a positive rewards chart. But don't ever beg her to behave! Again, it's all in the tone of the voice!

For my daycare, I have a ready supply of unusual/fun toys for the kids to play with during the diaper change. A light-up microphone, a car, a toy thermometer, etc.....I've even used a dollar bill! Kids love new/different things & diaper time is a perfect time to use these things!

I hope this all helps....I hope you find Peace!

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answers from Washington DC on

She's NOT a baby anymore - she's almost 2. She's doing what she can to manipulate you and your feelings...she understands now (at a VERY SIMPLE level) that her actions can either make you laugh or upset you....with Daddy - she doesn't get away with it...with you - she does...rules. consequences.

She should have some words under her belt. You can ask her SIMPLE questions about her diaper changes.

Most pedophiles are family members...sad but true....I do understand thinking the worst...ask her questions. use the real words for her body parts.

When it comes to changing the diaper - be firm - not mean - firm. Tell her what is acceptable and what is not. If she behaves you can get it done faster and she can be off to play...if she fights you - then it takes longer and no one is happy!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Redding on

MANY little kids go through a phase of hating to get their diapers changed. For one thing, at this age, they hate having to quit what they're doing to lay down long enough to get changed and it ticks them off. My daughter was so quick and squirmy that I had to get very creative in ways to distract her and get a good grip. She did the alligator death roll and would spin to get away.
If she doesn't have a UTI, its my bet that she's screaming because she's mad and doesn't like her diaper changed.
My daughter was potty trained really young because she didn't like the diaper thing in the first place.
If your daughter doesn't have a rash and you aren't using anything that can burn her, she just doesn't want to take time out of her busy day to get changed. It really doesn't have to mean anything more than that.

Best wishes.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Bloomington on

My son has not been this extreme, but I always relied on distraction. My cellphone, his toothbrush, big brother's cool toy, sippy, anything that works at that moment to get his mind off of the diaper change! I also change him on a blankie on the floor. He seemed to fight it more on the changing table.
I hope you get this figured out!

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answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter did the same thing when she was 2. She is 3 now and no longer does it.


answers from San Francisco on

Maybe see if you can involve her in the problem solving... Can she tell you what the trouble is? Maybe let her play with the diapers and wipes with one of her dolls. She may get better feelings about it or maybe reveal something about what's troubling her. Hope this resolves soon :)


answers from Las Vegas on

I would try different things like singing or toys or something to help her cope with the diaper change. She is probably going to be worse now since the doctor thing... you have to talk to her about that and teach her good touch/bad touch. It's sad to think about, but you need to make sure she knows she can tell you if someone touches her down there, "bad touch", that isn't a diaper change. This is something that sounds like has been around for a while so if it was the worse case, it wouldn't be someone new, it would be someone you know and "trust". Have you tried wipe warmers? Has she told you why she doesn't like it? Have you looked down there for any markings or tearing (minor tearing is an indicator too)?

I think you may have to build up trust with her. She is probably confused about the doctor thing and may not trust you now. I don't get why they didn't use the bag in the first flippin place. Most kids hate catheters, duh (to them), I mean most adults hate them.

Open up the communication so when her vocab gets better she can tell you. Until then keep looking for clues and any signs of anything.
Try switching to unscented wipes. Or start potty training and see if she will like using the potty better than using her diaper. My 2 1/2 yr old moves around and doesn't want to be still but she doesn't cry and scream and clench her legs closed, so I don't know if it's a phase or not.



answers from Des Moines on

Why dont you try toilet training?

Now if not approached in a care free way this may make it worse so absolutely no pressure should be put on her. Get a lovely toilet seat and stool and if she is going silly with the diaper change then show her she can finish with diapers if she will use the toilet. Might be worth a shot, will eliminate the need for diapers all together. Take it slow either way and relax with her. She will be fine



answers from Springfield on

I think most kids go through this phase. For the most part, they just don't want to stop what they're doing. If it's just a wet diaper, try changing her standing up. So much faster! Also, they can still see the world this way. Many kids do not like lying down, because they can't see what's going on and feel like they're missing something.

My kids liked the fact that they still felt a part of whatever was going on and that I got the job done so much faster. Sometimes when I change a poopy diaper, I lay them down, clean them up, stand them up and put the new diaper on. They like the fact that they aren't lying down for too long.



answers from Davenport on

Maybe it is just an independance thing. You could try to daytime potty train to minimize # of changes. If she is nearly 2, she could definitely potty train for daytime. Tell her if she doesn't like to have her diaper changes al the time, she can learn to go on the toilet or poty like a big kid, and only have ot wear diapers for bedtime. - that is basically only one to two times a day that she will have to be "wiped" with a wet wipe....bedtime to put on the diaper and clean off any leftover poop or pee from the day, and morning, to cleanoff the night time wetness, and put on the big kid pants. My Daughter was so proud to be using the potty as a 18 month old,a nd she did great. And doing diapers still at night didn't confuse or effect her at all.

Good luck!



answers from Minneapolis on

My daughter doesn't get UTI's but she does get an irritation from baths. Her Dr told me to add about 1/4 cup of baking soda to her baths. It worked. Now that she's older and potty trained we go through periods where she has accidents and we have to either add the baking soda to her tub or we tell her showers only until the problem goes away.



answers from Dallas on

My oldest went through this phase and I found two ideas online that helped us get through it:

1. Keep a basket of things that you wouldn't normally let her play with that is just for diaper changing time. This worked so well! She was so distracted looking/handling the object that she forgot to fight the changing. We used all kinds of things from around the house, but her favorite was a tiny snowglobe.

2. Attach a blown up balloon (just air, no hellium) to the ceiling directly over the changing table and just low enough that she can bat at it and make it move. Same idea as the basket of toys, the balloon will distract her so you can get the job done.

After a while of using these two ideas my DD just got over the need to fight being changed and life was so much easier. Good luck!



answers from Los Angeles on

Could be a phase. My son goes through this. He's 2 1/2.
Okay so....
- look for rash
- if so or they say it hurts, try diaper rash ointment.
-try to distract her every diaper change
- change location of diaper chg, our son outgrew his changing table so we did it in the living room and on his bedroom floor on comforters.
-Work "with" the phase. it will pass. :)

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