Desperately Seeking in Vitro Advice

Updated on May 28, 2008
M.M. asks from Chicago, IL
7 answers


I have a good friend who has been trying to get pregnant for the second time for a while now. She has tried everything and is at the point of in vitro. Does anyone have any advice on what will help her have success with in vitro? She has been debating over accupuncture (but she got sick from it last time), massages or reflexology? She is nervous that with any of these treatments there maybe adverse effects. Any first hand experiences, good or bad, will be very helpful.


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So What Happened?

Thanks to everyone who replied. I appreciate the advice and help. Wish her luck as she continues on her journey. I know reading these replies helped her with the process. I don't know her next steps, but I did want to thank everyone sooner rather than later!

More Answers



answers from Chicago on

Definately have your friend check out RESOLVE. They have wonderful bulletin boards, filled with women who can share her struggle and offer support 24/7. Also, Pulling Down the Moon: I'd recommend joining their mind/body class ASAP. Both resources saved my sanity and were a great resource for information. I met lifelong friends in the mind/body class... and 11 out of 12 of us are now parents (in various ways). We compared notes on doctors, treatments, tests, medicines, etc.

Before I started fertility treatments, my ob/gyn told me that The invitro process also only increase your chances of pregnancy by 20%. I blocked that out completely, desperate to get pregnant. I did 4 rounds of IVF with no success. In conjunction, I changed my diet ("The Infertility Diet: Get Pregnant and Prevent Miscarriage" which involved no caffiene, no alcohol, no meat and on and on and on), did yoga, did accupuncture, took herbs, stopped taking hot baths, passed on the sushi and everything under the sun anyone, anywhere, ever said helped them. Nothing worked.

Everyone thinks that what worked for them is the best way to go. In my experience, Eastern medicine is expensive and didn't help. In the end we gave up. We started the adoption process and we got pregnant on our own. Life is mysterious... (by the way I went back to my lifestyle of too much work, exercise, drinking, and a normal diet)

The stress levels women experience during this process are astronomical... I heard from our mind/body instructor that women going through invitro have the same levels of stress as women getting cancer treatment. Remind her that she's not alone and to get support. Listen to her when she keeps being told by insensitive people: "oh, just relax."

I'd be happy to talk with her if she has questions. You're such a good friend to her... she is very lucky to have you. Hang in there!



answers from Chicago on

I really have no insight with the in vitro, but when I was trying to concieve both my children the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility really helped. It explained many things my mother, health class, and several doctors did not. I am not sure what kind of medical issues, if any she has, but it may be worth looking into.



answers from Chicago on

I run an infertility support group with an organization called Resolve. If your friend would like some information, please have her e-mail me at [email protected]



answers from Chicago on

Hi M.,
I may be on the same road as your friend, I'm also having a lot of trouble having a 2nd child. It is so heartbreaking, so first of all please tell your friend that she is not alone! We had our first so easily, but something in my body has changed in the past couple of yrs and my tubes are somehow damaged. I may end up doing in vitro myself. Anyway, I just wanted to tell your friend that we know many couples who have had success with in vitro, and while it can apparently be a long and expensive process, it often has a happy ending. I would advise your friend to have an HSG test (they flush your tubes with dye and watch them on an x-ray) to make sure her tubes are clear, that way she is much more likely to have success with in vitro. If she has a hydrosalpinx (water-filled tube), she will very likely need to have it removed before trying in vitro. There is a fertility doctor named Kaplan in Lincoln Park who has helped a lot of people too, I don't know his # but he should be easy to find. Pls tell your friend to email me if she needs to, I'm in her same boat and maybe we can help eachother. My email is [email protected] of luck to her!



answers from Chicago on

I went through in vitro and did a lot of research. Tell her to try acupuncture again. There have been some very solid studies showing that acupuncture really helps in vitro success. Maybe she just needs a better acupuncturist. If she is in the city- tell her to try Healing Junction on Ashland and School. Kirk Moulton is wonderful and has a lot of experience working with infertility patients. Good luck to your friend!



answers from Chicago on

Dear M.,

I got pregnant three times after using Chinese herbs and acupuncture treatments, at ages 41, 47, and 48! I didn't do in vitro, didn't want the drugs. I also did mind-body therapies and eventually trained to counsel others. There are lots of resources out there if you look for them to help your body do what it does naturally, or to help other treatments be successful. I hope she can get over her fear that natural medicine will have side effects when research is showing that it is the pharmaceuticals that we should be concerned about for our long term health.

You're a good friend to be supporting her on this journey!




answers from Chicago on

no dairy
lots of sleep
a good massage
stop anything that is stressing her out.

i did all of these and got preggo.

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