Depression - Orting,WA

Updated on June 10, 2008
S.M. asks from Orting, WA
63 answers

Hi Ladies,
I need some help! I have 1 daughter and am depressed. I don't have medical insurance and don't know what to do. Some day are good, but most are not. I want to enjoy every moment with her, but find my self just staring at her playing. To make things worse I argue with Chad. What can I do?

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L.D.

answers from Portland on

Thank goodness you are reaching out. You will get lots of good responses. My suggestion is that you call Project Respond. This is a free counseling program through Mult Co. They are extremely helpful, will come to you and are free. Do not hesitate.

2 moms found this helpful
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T.J.

answers from Spokane on

My best advice, only cause i know a bit of what you are feeling, I would meet new people and build friends and support. My daughter is 3 1/2 now and I struggle with depression to where I too watch my daughter play and can't bring myself to join her. I want to and feel like a horrible parent, but can never get the motivation. I tried antidepressants cause they told me that's what I needed even though I thought it was more anxiety and needless to say It made everything worse than it had ever been. I felt I was overwhelmed and couldn't cope with things and isolated myself many times. You need support/friends, even if it's just to release steam. It was hard for me cause I know very few people, but if you ever want to talk or even share baby stories, I'll be here and you can call if you want, ###-###-####. Wanna be friends??

1 mom found this helpful
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B.Y.

answers from Seattle on

Most hospitals will let you make payments or have a program for financial aid for those that cannot afford it. You need to take this serious. Please go in and get help. The meds can help you level out. Once you get them, most drug companies have a discount or free program that you can get from them. Target has helped people to get discount meds.

This is important, because if left untreated it can get worse.
Hugz
B.

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S.L.

answers from Portland on

Sweetie,

You need to get yourself some help. There are a lot of things that you can do. How old is your daughter? There are lots of new mom's groups and also postpartum support groups. Do a quick internet search for ones in your area.

Look into getting affordable health insurance. You may or may not qualify for the Oregon Health Plan. There is also a program called FHIAP (Family Health Insurance Assistance Program) in Oregon that subsidizes private health insurance if you are under a certain income cap. Look into it.

Also consider acupuncture. I know that depression is a mental problem, but it can be caused or exacerbated by physical imbalances or deficiencies. Acupuncture works for the whole body and it can be inexpensive. Working Class Acupuncture on NE 57th and Fremont in Portland charges a sliding scale starting at $15 a session. Also, Peninsula Family Acupuncture on N Lombard in St. Johns charges $35 for an initial visit and $25 for each visit after that. These prices are not much more than a co-pay and could do you a world of good.

Finally, thanks for asking for help. You are certainly not alone. Being a mom can be extremely isolating and I think you would benefit from some adult interaction with other moms. Sometimes just getting out of the house more helps. Take care of yourself, okay?

2 moms found this helpful
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A.P.

answers from Portland on

Hi, S., As a retired professional counselor, I have a list of low cost counseling services. I urge you to contact one for an appointment -they will work out the financial part. You owe it to yourself and your daughter.

Here are the best I know of, with numbers and locations:

William Temple House, NW, ###-###-####
YWCA, downtown, ###-###-####
Portland State, at PSU, ###-###-####
Samaritan Counseling, NE and other areas, ###-###-####
Northwest Catholic Counseling, NE, ###-###-####

I have known the high quality of the counselors and services of all the above. The ones connected to religious organizations do not preach, just help.

I hope to see your response soon, that some of the suggestions you get are helping.

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J.F.

answers from Portland on

Hang in there, S.. First - know that this postpartum depression is completely normal, with all the crazy hormonal changes that happen in our bodies after we give birth. Second, know that it is completely treatable - naturally. My son is now 21 months old, and I went through depression, anxiety and fatigue for months after he was born. Acupuncture helped me so much - a few treatments and I felt like the fog had cleared, and my family and I could start really enjoying eachother. It is a gentle way to deal without having to express everything verbally, which seemed impossible for me at the time.
You can get wonderful and very inexpensive acupuncture at the Oregon College of Oriental Medicine Acupuncture and Herbal Clinic. It is a school, so there are discounts if you are willing to get treated by a student with a faculty supervisor. I reccommend any student under Roger Lore, Quinn, or Nikki Medghalchy. The students there are vigorously trained and work very closely with their supervisors. You can pay more to see a faculty member if you prefer.
Other inexpensive but wonderful options are Working Class Acupuncture and Cole Magbanua - both group treatment settings, so not private rooms, but only $15-$20 per treatment, and very effective. You can find both in the phone book.
Also keep in mind that sleep deprivation is a very serious issue, and can be the sole cause of depression and many other problems associated with being a new parent. If possible, sleep when your baby sleeps - take as many naps as possible, and sleeping with your baby at night can often times make night time wakings easier on you. Continuing to take prenatal vitamins, especially Vitamin D, can also help.
Lastly, you have already done the most important thing - asking for help. You are DEFFINITELY not alone. I have never considered myself a depressed person, and I went through it pretty hard core, as I mentioned. Since then, I have talked to so many moms who have gone through it too. The things I have mentioned really helped me, so there you go. Good luck, and feel free to e-mail me if you want. Hug your baby!
Be well,
J. Fisher
____@____.com

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H.B.

answers from Eugene on

CHOCOLATE !!! Eat a small piece of dark chocolate - it will lift your mood a bit.

Then try going for a walk - the fresh air does wonders.

When your daughter takes a nap - do something for yourself - a little pampering.

When you feel like crying - go into the bathroom & let it out - you'll feel better - it's not good to hold it in.

Call a friend who will listen Or write down your feelings - you need to vent them.

We are all here for you!!!!!!!!!

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K.S.

answers from Eugene on

Try St. John's Wort & Omega Fatty Acids, you can get them at Rite Aid, etc. Sometimes they have a buy one get one free sale. If you go to the light bulb aisel buy lights that are "Day Light" or Full Spectrum bulbs and change them out near where you sit to read or through out the house, not in kitchen or bath as the "red" in the bulbs is altered and will make you meat or make-up look greeninsh. This also helps with brightening your mood, and is less costly that buying the FULL SPECTURM lights that you see for seasonal depression.

If you went to a primary doctor or even your child's pediatrician, and mentioned some mild depression, they may write you a prescription then you won't have to see a therepist. OMAP is a FREE Oregon based program - that will help you with prescription costs. Call 1-888-217-2363. Also request generic versions of the prescriptions which will really help. Don't forget WalMart has $4.00 generic medications, as well. White Bird Clinic on Mill St. between 14th & 15th in Eugene can also help. Call them in advance, to find out proceedures, they offer free medical/mental health assistance. As an FYI - there will be some homeless people, etc. there, so you may not be comfortable going with your child.

I have been through extreme depression with my teenager when I was not insured and this is how I got her the help she needed - with prescriptions. Later on my new husband used the natural methods and they helped him. He was not severe like my child, (mostly seasonal depression) so if you are just a little sad and sluggish, I would try the natural stuff first. Don't forget - SUNSHINE and even a little walk around the block can do wonders too.

Good Luck, hope the advice helps.

1 mom found this helpful
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A.E.

answers from Portland on

S.-
I live in Oregon (Washington County). I don't know about what your county has to offer, but I know my county offers Mental Health referals to people with out insurance. Maybe if you call ###-###-#### they can refer you to your county no. and get some referals! Usually those referals can be free or income based.
Hope that helps!
-A.

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J.B.

answers from Seattle on

Since you can't afford medicine, look up foods that will help, and try to get more sunshine. A friend of mine goes tanning to relieve her depression. Get more sleep, and try to arrange times when you can be with other grown ups, like a Bible study, club, or playdate. It may seem like a nuisance at first, but being alone all the time can compound your feelings and make them worse.

And I second Jamie's (just before me) testimony. I'm a military wife and a new mom, and I frequently get lonely and sad, but God has never let me fall into depression. There have been times when I could feel myself falling into despair, but then He stopped my heart from falling any farther and turned me back around toward positive thoughs and assurances that the world is big and brisk and active and I am never out of His care.

If you want help finding a church and you live in my area, I'd be delighted to help you.

Praying God will lift you out of it.

J.

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S.B.

answers from Portland on

Hi, S.,

Check your phone book in the "government"pages and see if your county has any mental health services. Often times these are free or have a sliding scale according to income. Additionally, some universities have counseling centers run by students that offer very discounted rates. If your child was born in a hospital, I would check with that hospital to see if they have support groups to deal with this. My hospital offered free support groups for after birth. I hope you have supportive family and friends outside of "Chad" to assist you through this time! Best wishes to you.

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D.R.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S.,

Your post touched my heart. I am so sorry that you are going through this. Please e-mail or call me and I can help get you set up with some resources or someone a little closer to home that can get you some more resources, Okay?

D.
A Blessed Birth Doula Services
____@____.com
###-###-####

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J.S.

answers from Seattle on

there are little things you can do for depression with or before therapy. I am sure there are free or reduced counseling services available.
Get out in the sunshine. It is good for us in small amounts (only because of skin cancer should large amounts be avoided). exercise. Continue to enjoy time with your daughter. Get out of the house- get involved in playdates, join the Y, take a fun class for yourself. Most importantly spend fun time with your spouse, don't always focus on the things that make you fight.

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K.W.

answers from Portland on

Dearest S.,

Yes you do need help. I know because I had really bad postpartum depression--I was really not myself for at least a year--and it just feeds on itself. It does take a long long time for those hormones to leave your body (longer if you're nursing) and even without those in the mix, your life has gotten way more complicated and stressful.

Reading all the great leads recommended here made me wish I had had Mamasource to turn to when my time came. Some kind of counseling would have made a huge difference and sped up my recovery. The other thing that really helped was just getting someone else to watch the kid for an hour while I slept, or took a shower or a walk, or did a little laundry. You'd be surprised how many people would be glad to hold a baby, even a fussy one, for an hour to give you a break--especially those that have been there before. Make sure you ask for that help--don't talk yourself out of it!

The other thing that would have made a huge difference is getting more sleep. When you're in the thick of it you really have no idea what sleep deprivation does to you. It takes away all your patience, planning ability, and endurance. So do sleep when the baby sleeps, no matter what else needs doing...your child needs YOU more than a tidy house.

Take heart and know it won't last...but *take steps* to rein it in any way you can!

PS Good on you for letting your partner catch his breath when he comes home, before you pounce on him...I was always so desperate for relief and company that I was quite hard to live with, I'm sure.

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C.C.

answers from Seattle on

I know a little of what you are going through. I was diagnosed with depression about a year after my son was born. It is also genetic and my mother and grandmother both had it. I had days when I just wanted to up leave, don't get me wrong I LOVE my son and husband, but I couldn't be around them. Fortunately we do have health insurance, I was given a prescription and everything worked out. My mom doesn't have health insurance, but there is a program in washington state that will pay for all of your prescriptions for $30 a month. Alot of times that is cheaper. I believe you go through DSHS. I am sure you can look it up on the net somewhere. I will ask her and get back to you if that is something you are interested in. Keep you chin up, it will get better.

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M.M.

answers from Seattle on

First and foremost, without knowing how severe the depression is, if you ever have any sort of suicidal or homicidal thoughts, call 911 or go to the nearest ER. Now that that is said, just because you don't have medical insurance should not prevent you from seeking medical attention. You deserve to be happy and your child deserves having happy mom. Call clinics in your area (even urgent care) and explain to them that you are uninsured and would like to know the fee for a problem focused exam (unless there are multiple problems you would like to address). Some stores even have nurse practitioners for appt for a minor fee (I believe around $50). But remember, every problem you address will increase the cost of the appt., so if you want to keep it cheap and really don't have other big issues, save any minor issues (dry skin, etc.), and stay focused on the depression. There are generic antidepressant drugs, which can be found at walmart for $4 for a 30 day supply. These medication can work fast in some, but generally take 6-8 weeks for full effectiveness, so don't stop after a couple of pills. This is a small price to pay for happiness. Obviously, if you have circumstances that are contributing to the depression, talking with a counselor (even if you have access to a free one through your church (if you attend one), and working through these issues can be beneficial. I wish you the best in your future health.

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S.C.

answers from Seattle on

Antidepressants didn't help me (made it worse) but taking L-Tyrosene (amino acid) followed by a good B-Complex in 20 minutes and a healthy breakfast did. I cleaned up my diet and started taking a good vitamin too and got my body back in balance. Walking helped too and was good for the kids too. I also prayed my lights out. If you call your local mental health center they will have some group and individual sessions that can help too and will be affordable. Going there isn't a bad thing! It's a good thing and shows you are reaching out trying to help yourself!

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W.C.

answers from Seattle on

Try the public health system. They are not the best but they are something.

Also do you have any best friends you can share your thoughts with. How close is your mother?

When your partner gets home, and finally settled, see if you can take time to take a walk, even if it is raining.

Keep sharing your thoughts with us. This might be a lifeline for you.

Are you in Seattle? Try the Crisis line if things really get bad.

Put your daughter in a stroller and go for a walk if you need to.

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B.K.

answers from Seattle on

Hi
There are many programs you can look into. If you are low income you can check into DSHS for medical but if you just barely make too much there is also Basic Health 1-800-660-9840 and they base it on your income and give you a much lower premium than some companies. They are accepting applications right now so call asap before they close the list. You can also contact your local WIC office for referrals and information. DO NOT put it off! Depression is a very dangerous game of balance and if not treated can steadily get worse. But it is also normal so DO NOT be embarrassed! Make the people you ask for help understand and emphasize you need help. Mary Bridge may even have some ideas or programs. Also Good Samaritian Mental Health has family and individual counseling programs and may work on a sliding fee scale or know of other options available for you. Good Luck and remember you have already done the first step : admitted you need help and asked for it! So you can have hope! Roberta

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K.K.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S.,
I do not know where you are located, but if you are in the Seattle area, go to:

http://www.metrokc.gov/health/insurance/clinics.htm#renton

and find a community health clinic near you, call and make an appt. They will charge you between $20-40 for your appt. usually...its on a sliding scale.

Be very direct with your doctor, about what you want. If you don't want meds, let them know that you prefer a natural approach. I would also push to have your thyroid checked.

This from personal experience...I found out by accident through my doctor that I had a low thyroid hormone level (which is common in women after having children)...they did one lab test and were going to leave it untreated because it was not highly abnormal or way out of line. I asked them to do the second follow-up test (don't know name, but it is a different lab test). Turns out I had a more serious problem than they had first thought. They put me on medicine. I felt ok on the medicine, but they did one more lab test to see if I was back to normal. I was not. They increased my medicine level. In about two weeks, I felt ON TOP OF THE WORLD! My old self was back. I no longer was grumpy, irritated, yelling at my husband or argumentative, unreasonable with my children, or without an extra bit of energy. (Literally I would not do my hair or shave my legs, taking a shower was an immense effort...but I didn't know why.) I had fallen so far in this hole, I had no idea I was down there or how to get out. My husband did notice it, but he was at his wit's end as to what to do about it. He loves having the old me back. I love being happy and having fun with my kids again, they are glad too.

I don't know if it is your thyroid, of course...but have it checked. Bless you, and looking forward to hearing your old self is back!
~ K.

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S.G.

answers from Portland on

Often reguardless whether you have health insurance or not you can still get treated. Please try Cascadia Mental health and Multnomah county clinic. They go off what you make. Please also take time for yourself. having a child is demanding emotionally and physically. If you aren't getting any free time to your self, that can make your depression worse. Do you have any friends or family that would be willing to give you just a few hours a day of alone time. By alone time I mean completly out of the home. Wheter you take a walk or just go to the library. It will help you.

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K.F.

answers from Portland on

There are resources out there for people without insurance, some areas may just have more than others. You could contact your OB to see if they know of any medical clinics that offer free visits or sliding scale fees (you pay a minimal amount based upon what you make). If you want to go a med route, most insurance companies will offer a consumer assistance program that eligibility is not determined by the same guidelines as the state/feds, which is usually better. There are some places such as Walmart or Fred Meyers that offer cheap meds that could help as well. They may also know of local places that are conducting research opportunities, which if you qualify can be a great way to get services at no cost or even be paid for your participation. THere are some herbal remedies as well, but you may want to consult with a doctor to make sure that this is appropriate for you.
You can look for counseling options in your area that offer sliding scale fees as well. I have known some places that charge as little as $5 an hour for counseling. HOwever churches can also offer counseling (if you are open to the idea that religion will be a part of deal).
Other ideas that you can do yourself: Sleep (not too much and not too little), good nutrition-especially foods in B vitamins as they help to stablize mood, get out in the sun-15 min a day-with sunblock-as the sun stimulates the feel good chemicals in the brain, exercise when possible, talk with others, consider a mom's group in your area,look for things that are connected to your senses but make you feel good-especially if they are connected to a positive memory (ie. scents, colors of clothing,taste of foods, etc..).
Good Luck....and take care of yourself.

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A.M.

answers from Seattle on

Have you looked into some of the depression studies? They are doing lots of research on depression and ways to treat it and the people who participate in it get treatment at no charge.

For me, church is also an important place. I have found that the support and friendship I get from fellow church members is extreamly helpful and important, as is the message from church itself. I go to Lake Hills Church in Bellevue and from the minute I first walked in the door, I knew I was going to stay there. Feeling welcome and wanted by people changes how you feel about yourself and the rest of the things going on in your life.

You can also look into DSHS. They have discounted medical programs that you can apply for. It is called Basic Health. If you meet income requirements, you can get health insurance at a discounted rate with no co-pay, no deductable and 100% coverage for all services, including therapy and/or medication for depression.

You could also look into mom & baby play groups to try for some socialization and an outlet for your self... This might be hard if you are really depressed as it would mean leaving the house and if you find yourself just sitting watching your child play, you might not be motivated. But it could help if you are up to it.

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A.S.

answers from Seattle on

I hate to say this but the best thing that you can do is go to the dr with or without medical insurance. You are suffering through this but so is your daughter. It is nothing to be ashamed of to be depressed but you need to seek medical assistance with this. It could be an imbalance of your hormones that makes you feel this way or a deficiency of a nutrient in your system.

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M.B.

answers from Portland on

call 211 and tell them what you just said they will be able to help. Or call the doctor that delivered your baby or the baby's doctor.

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A.S.

answers from Portland on

S.,
First, have you called your obgyn/midwife to see if there are options for those without insurance? If you find yourself tempted to do yourself injury or unable to cope with your daughter, please go see them immediately.

You don't say how long you've felt this way, but my PPD lifted gradually at about 6 weeks (for whatever that's worth). Until then, family and friends helped by visiting or helping a bit around the house. Mine was worse in the evening and on days I didn't get much sleep, so fatigue can play a role. Nutrition and getting out of the house for walks helps too.

I wish you an easing of your depression soon. It's a hard place to be.

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M.S.

answers from Seattle on

Try Super Supplements or a similar vitamin type store. I know the people at Super Sup seem to be pretty knowledgeable as far as what our bodies/diets may be lacking. It could be some sort of vitamin and/or mineral imbalance.
Good luck! ~Mary~

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A.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S. - Depression is serious and normal, especially for a new mom. Moms have such high expectations themselves and think they should enjoy every moment with their child(ren), but it's very hard to do this when we haven't been able "recharge our batteries," or in other words, take care of ourselves. I'm wondering if you can look into clinics that will charge you according to a sliding scale. If you life in the Seattle area, Bastyr does this and is wonderful if you open to holistic medicine. Also, are you in a mom's group? If not, check out mom's groups in your area and/or PEPS if your child is young. Good luck.

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K.S.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S.,
I would recommend going to your local health food store and ask for a "natural" vitamin that coiuld help you with depression. i know there are some supplements out there that could help. As a mother of older kids', 11 and 8, I have always been a firm believer of "mommy time". It is so important that YOU get out and have time for YOU. Take care of your self first and then that gives you the energy and strength to be the best mom that you can. Even if it is doind a coffee date with a girlfriend once a week. Hopefully now that summer is hitting you can get out and enjoy some sunshine.
Hang in there and good luck!

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C.T.

answers from Seattle on

I am so sorry. Do you have a natural food store near you? There are a number of great all natural herbs out there that can help with female emotions. I take one for PMS, which for me lasted half the month, called Vitex. It took about 2 months for it to kick in but it has made a HUGE difference. I am sure there are many things out there for depression. I hope you find some peace.
God bless you and your family.

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C.G.

answers from Eugene on

Hi S.,

I am so sorry to hear that you are having a difficult time. I am not sure where you live, but check with the local hospitals. A lot of them have Post partum support groups(not sure how old your daughter is, but you are likely within the window if she is under 3 I think). It is a great way to go and be heard in a secure environment and find out about local options for you. Also, one other idea is to check with your OB or MD for resources. The District Health Department might have some resources as well.

You are not alone! And insurance or no insurance, there are resources out there for you.

My thoughts are with you!
C.

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R.M.

answers from Portland on

Anti depressants are really a good way to go. They are very safe, and some in generic form are only $4 a month. See if you can talk to a doctor, get a prescription and try it out. I have been on them for 15 years.

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E.K.

answers from Seattle on

Good for you for realizing that you need help. That is half the battle, though, not always the easy half. Lots of us need help with this.

Get in touch with a mother-baby group. Start at your hospital where you delivered. Then look locally for playgroup meetings. This helped me. I think both Overlake and Evergreen hospitals have active mother-baby groups you can join.

But please also consider spending the $$ and going to see a social worker, doc or psychologist. This is a sensitive time for you and it will be worth the money to go see someone. Let them know your situation and they can help you feel better.

Good luck.

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J.R.

answers from Seattle on

Go to your local suppliment store and pick up some 5HTP its a natural antidepressant. Also start taking a good fish oil it also helps with depression.

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A.M.

answers from Seattle on

Our Family does not have medical either and depression and even more serious matters associated are part of what I must deal with on a regular basis.

For me it can be hard since I have so much to do as well that getting overwhelmed can happen easily and it is difficult to have the time to take care of myself. It sounds like you have one advantage, you do have time to care for yourself, but in some ways that can make it harder since you do not have a really really pressing need to be better. You need to do it for your daughter and for yourself.

So....here are things that have helped for me. Everyday be sure to spend @ least a half hour outside doing something active. Do your best to make it between 10am and 4pm if you can. Sunshine coupled with activity helps depression. In fact if you can do 1/2 hour a day of some thing, anything that makes you sweat you will find most of your depression will leave. The hard part is doing it so promise to start small with maybe just 10 minutes.

Be sure you are getting enough rest. Set the most regular sleep hours your circumstances allow.

Add more veggies, fruit and healthy things to your diet and pay attention to any foods that make you not feel good after you eat them. There are lots of foods that are considered healthy, but may not do well with you. Keeping a food diary and tracking how you feel can really help.

Increase your b complex vitamins and also add in fish or flax oil as suppliments, be sure they are from natural and not chemical sources.

If you are birth control pills consider trying something else. ( Depression became so much easier to control when we started doing natural family planning, there is a great website to hook you up with what you need for that, www.birthcontrol.org)

Find another mom for a friend who has similar aged child(ren) and spend some time with her, maybe have her come over and spend the day @ your house while getting stuff done one day of the week and you go to hers another. Just having some one who makes you feel better when you spend time with them around and who supports you can really help.

Craniosacral work has really helped my brain work differently and that too has helped with depression.

Prayer really makes a real difference too. It seems to help most when most of your prayer is thank you for what you feel most blessed with, it forces you to see where you are blessed, even though it can be difficult. Also ask for help.

Hope some of this can help. These things all help for me.

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T.V.

answers from Seattle on

You've had a ton of responses but here are some thoughts.

I've felt the same way before and have come through without any medical help. I know everyone is different, but these things work for me. B vitamins! Lots of them! I take them along with a multivitamin and they seem to help a little. Give yourself a break when you can, even if for only a few minutes, do something you enjoy doing...read a book, take a walk, listen to some music, anything! Excercise as well...you can do a lot at home just with some light weights and a jump rope! I always feel better when I work out. Eating lots of fruits and vegetable are also very good for you.

Do you know other moms with kids the same age as yours? I actually don't even think it matters if the ages aren't exact. My girlfriend invited me to her play group and the first time I went, my daughter was only a couple of months old-the youngest one there. We met once a week and it was great to just get together with other moms and know you aren't alone and we are all experiencing much of the same stuff!

I think there was a lot of good advice from other moms, take a little from everyone and put together all the little things that work for you. I truly believe you can get through this!

If you can't, or you find you are feeling worse, call a Dr. I know you don't have insurance, but I saw a ton of places people recommended where you can get some professional help. It won't go away overnight, but get yourself on some sort of schedule if you can. I think that also helps!

I wish you the best of luck and please know that you aren't alone and that you are strong and you will get through this!

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D.R.

answers from Portland on

Depression is a serious thing, can you get Oregon health plan?
I'd see a doctor if possible. I went through depression a couple of times. The first time I took Wellbutrin, it helped a lot. The second time, I had a blood test that should my Thyroid hormoms were off. I'm not taking meds and feel great!
Please, find a way to see a doc.
I also attend a small group at my church for Moms, that has helped so much.

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D.D.

answers from Seattle on

If you believe in God, this is a great time to start your prayer life. Prayer is SO cathartic. Also, realize that you are in a MAJOR transition period. Allow yourself to cry, to feel. It's OK. Try to find an understanding friend. Try a MOPS group to meet other moms. Seek counseling if it's overwhelming you to the point that you feel you are drowning. It is very hard to go from being in independent working woman to a stay-at-home mom. However, it's SO worth it for your children.

Our society teaches that you are worthless unless you are out there making money. Well guess what! You are doing the MOST IMPORTANT JOB THERE IS! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Realize that you are VERY important, and that it's OK to grieve for what has changed. Crying is VERY stress relieving. Try to time when you cry - like during nap times, or in the evenings when the kids are in bed - try to destress so that when you are with them you can maintain control.

God bless you. You have made a very good very important decision.

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R.S.

answers from Seattle on

I know what you feel like. When my son was a year I would get like that. I believed that it was post partum depression even after a year. They say it takes a woman’s body to recover from a pregnancy at least 18 months so why not the mental state too. I didn't consult my doctor in anyway for medication for it.
All I can say it to just take time for yourself and try to not let yourself get too down. Good luck and you aren't alone.

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J.H.

answers from Spokane on

Hi S.! My name is J., and I, too, had trouble with depression while raising my kids. My husband was often gone for long periods of time as a fire fighter, and I was alone with four kids sometimes for a month at a time. Then, when he was home, I found myself mad at him that he was tired and didn't want to help me with the kids. I was soooo tired all the time. Well, I started taking LUMINEX. It's a vitamin supplement, and IT WORKS! It's all natural, and the first thing I found was that I slept really soundly and didn't wake up cranky, and I had more energy to cope with my kids. You
might want to give it a try. Call me at ###-###-####

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C.K.

answers from Portland on

Hold on S. before you go on depression drugs, please find a way to get your thyroid checked. Most women need that done after having a child, so if there is a way to muster up the money to get the blood tests done please do that first.
I have dealt with the thyroid for 25 yrs, and 2 years ago found myself to be so depressed I didn't want to get out of bed, I didn't want to do anything. I finally decided I had to go to the doctor about this, through many tests, they found it was my thyroid, way to low, after uping it quite a bit (more then primary docs want to do) I bounced back and I am fine now. I so feared having to go on an anti depressant pill so I was glad I had that checked out.

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P.H.

answers from Portland on

S.,

So many people have already given you great advise. I too suffered from post-partum depression. Definitely get out of the house! When my first was little I had the opportunity to be home and found that was the best thing. He loved it too. When my husband got home I gave him a little time to unwind while I made dinner. After dinner I went out by myself for up to an hour. Sometimes it was another walk, sometimes "window" shopping at stores, just something to have me time away from it all. I also stayed in contact with my Lamaze group and those of us who were fortunate to stay home got together once a week for play dates. I too will keep you in my prayers as this is not fun to go through. Good luck and contact me if you need someone to talk to. You're not alone.

P.

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K.H.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S. -
A friend of mine suffers from depression. He has been medication free for several years. I asked what he does to control it and he stated simply "daily diet and exercise." So, eat healthy and exercise daily. Natural supplements and sunshine as mentiioned by others are also beneficial.
Good luck!
K.

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T.C.

answers from Portland on

S.,

If you do not have access to a free clinic for help, I would find one if possible. I also know that some people have had success with natural supplements (st. john's wart and HTP-5 are two that I know of).

I understand your position, and wish you luck and prayers.

T.

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C.M.

answers from Bellingham on

In addition to getting medical help through subsidized insurance as others suggested, I would also suggest getting outside at least once every day for at least a short walk. If you can't make yourself get going, make an appointment with a friend in advance so you have a reason to do it. Exercise and fresh air won't necessarily cure clinical depression (if that's what you have), but it can help, and maybe keep you going until you can get some medical treatment.

I didn't exactly suffer from depression, but my son was a very demanding baby, and I often felt isolated and overwhelmed and depressed. My husband just didn't understand what I was going through, even though he is a great guy. I think it is vital to get connected to other moms in your area so you can get some understanding for what you are going through. Even though reaching out to other people is often the last thing you want to do when you are depressed (more likely just want to curl up and hide from everyone), if you can force yourself to make contact, it could help a lot.

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L.S.

answers from Portland on

Be careful with OTC anti depressants- St Johns Wort is an MAOI type of antidepressant so you have to watch what you eat and need to wear sunscreen.. WebMD is a good site to get more info.

I wrote you this am but it didn't go through.

First I'd try your local community church they usually will give sound counsel regardless. I've found you have to be picky about what counsel you get. They are not all created equal.
It's normal to feel depressed- with a BIG life change not to mention stressors and lack of SLEEP. Did you know sleep deprivation is used as a form of torture in some countries- YIKES.
What really worked for our family was a book or CD from your local library called "GETTING THE LOVE YOU WANT" BY HARVILLE HENDRIX- AMAZING. IT SAVED OUR MARRIAGE.

Another you've heard is exercise.

Of course meds don't hurt. They are safer now days and they work- Wellbutrin gives you kind of a kick start if you need it and the others like prozac can make you sleepy- the best part about wellbutrin is it won't take your sex drive away.

I hope this helps

Lynelle
ps if there are gram errors- My spelling skills just went after my son was born;-)))

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R.L.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S.,
I don't know what alternative you want to seek, however there is medical asst out there that you can apply for if you would like to go see a doctor. If seeing a dr isn't what you want to do than may I suggest reading inspirational books, my favorite is a book called Your Best Life Now, by Joel Osteen. You now have a beautiful little girl to look after, cherish everyday because they grow so fast.
"The Happiness of your Life, Depends on the Quality of your Thoughts"
I hope all works out for you!

God Bless you and your little one,
R.

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R.M.

answers from Portland on

Hi S.,

Please know that you are not alone! Our society can make new Mom's feel very isolated and mild depression is very common postpartum. How old is your daughter? I wanted to share some info with you. There are some free resources out there:

Baby Blues Connection
###-###-####
Portland based volunteer group offering info, resources and support to postpartum Mothers

Motherroots- Mother support with licensed social workers
###-###-####
____@____.com
(this may cost money but they can refer you to low or no cost groups)

You are doing the right thing for you and your daughter to ask for help- blessings and support to you!!

R. M
Newberg

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H.S.

answers from Seattle on

If you can pay the 80 bucks or so to see a doctor and get a prescription you can get a generic form of an anti-depressant (zoloft or prozac) for very cheap at the wal-mart pharmacy. Very cheap is $4.00 a month for prozac and $27.00 a month for zoloft. (whichever your doctor ends up prescribing for your particular depression) This really helped me when i had post-partum depression and no insurance.

D.J.

answers from Seattle on

Hi S., please, don't go for pills. I know is the easies way but if you do your "homework" how they work you won't like it. I stopped the pills when one night I had such a vivid dream that my son is dead that I didn't even check his room. If i knew how they worked I would never start them at all. It looks like you have a mild depression, so just a good portion of exercises will do the job. The best you can do is run, running is the only activity that produce the "happy hormone". Put your sweetie in a running stroller and run, start small. Than get your-self organized. Make a weekly schedule and follow it as much as you can. Put it somewhere where you can see it. Write down even the small tasks, that will give you the feeling of satisfaction completing them and being organized. Get up early and get ready like you are going to "work", because you are working and taking care of your dother is a hard work, we all know that. Get out on the sun and when is no sun play some music on, open the windows for some fresh air and dance with your dother at home. You both will have fun. Make some special moves for you and her to share, it is good for the bond and get this "happy hormone" running. Good luck!

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D.J.

answers from Seattle on

I work with a few different women who have been able to come out of depression with the right type of nutrition. After birth, our bodies can be nutrient deficient which causes a lot of the post birth symptoms. If this interests you, let me know and we can work to see if this is something for you or not.
D.
###-###-####
____@____.com

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A.H.

answers from Medford on

S.,
I am so glad you reached out, aren't these women great? I of course have to add my 2 cents...
I had a very difficult birth, a week in the hospital, 3 months to recover. All my images of 1st time motherhood, all the cuddling and bliss, were overlaid with pain, and fatigue, and fear.
So many friends said their image of perfect motherhood was nothing like the reality. A few of them had the easy birth, the moms and grandmas and friends and no financial worry. But for alot of us, it's like jumping off a cliff.
Brain chemistry, body chemistry, all may be factors, & I wouldn't rule out any possibility. The first thing, if you haven't already, is to find a moms group in your area. Bring your child and sit with the other moms and watch them play. You will find so much comfort there. Then you can begin your journey back to yourself. But right now you are wrung out... I'm sure your partner feels the same, you have both gained and lost in areas you couldn't imagine. If you join forces it would be great. But first you have to find solid ground for yourself, and for me that meant other women. Wishing you the best...

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A.G.

answers from Seattle on

I have gone to a doctor without medical insurance. Some offices have a special rate for people who are paying out of pocket. It wouldn't hurt to call a doctor or therapist and ask what they can do for you in your situation.

If that really isn't an option, I have a sister and mother who have suffered from mild depression. They both said that exercise helped them feel a little bit better.

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D.T.

answers from Portland on

Get out, get out, get out. It will really improve your mood if you can connect with other people. Find a playgroup or two. Find some me time.

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M.P.

answers from Seattle on

All I can offer you is prayer.. I will be praying for you.. and hope that God will give you strength... when I'm feel sad or depress...all I do is pray and cry it out to God with all of my heart... believe me in my experience and communicating with God it helps me a lot to make it through... take one day at a time... prayers always works for me and it will work for you also... God bless! God loves you...

M. mother of 4 beautiful children, my only treasures that I can bring to heaven...

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N.B.

answers from Seattle on

Even without medical help, you CAN do it. What the medicines do is to help you to sense why and when this is happening. Once people get on the medication they work to get off of them. My suggestion is for you to find something new. Go someplace where you will find something that makes you think. Think about something else. I wouldn't suggest a mom's group or a playdate. I am talking about something you use to enjoy when you were little or while you were growing up. If you liked baking, go to a baking supply shop and learn about all of new gadget they now have.
You CAN over come it. Your brain is having a unbalanced stage. Think of it as you have a paper cut on your hand, you know it's there and you know what have caused it and you know what to do to make it better.
1. detect when it's coming
2. find a different surrounding
3. do something to help the pain by taking yourself elsewhere
4. keep yourself on top of the list to take care of

good luck.

It's not going to be easy, but you have much more in life to look foward to. Pray to God. When you ask you shall receive.
Have faith and love a lot.

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S.W.

answers from Portland on

i would try calling something like planned parenthood and see if they can make any suggestions on where you can go. good luck

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D.M.

answers from Anchorage on

You could check for a holistic practitioner in your area. They may run less expensive than the doc.

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D.F.

answers from Bellingham on

Say a prayer. Give it to GOD?

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S.Y.

answers from Richland on

S., you are not alone!! Talk to people who have been there. A good source of free counseling is offered by Focus on the Family. I've called them before. They talk with you a little, pray with you, and connect you with resources that can help. Don't be afraid to talk to your husband about it. Don't forget that things will change. God bless you! S.

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N.H.

answers from Richland on

Hi S.

Washington is a great state for taking care of Mommies and their babies. Try contacting WIC (Women Infants Children)They are located at the Health Department. They are a great resource.

I use to take antidepressants a long time ago. Since then I have had 5 more children. You may need some Omeg 3. I take Evening Primrose oil and Cod Liver oil twice a day. Both can be gotten at the Health food store. One of the other ladies suggested walks outside. Which is a great idea. Walking will give you vitamin B and omeg 3 and the exercise does wonders for getting you to feeling better.

Best Wishes.
N.

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A.M.

answers from Portland on

Go to Planned Parenthood and get some help. They work with people that do not have insurance. A healthy Mom is a healthy baby. It's not just for you, sweetie. It's for you, your baby and Chad.

Good luck,
A.

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J.W.

answers from Seattle on

Call your dr's office and make arrangements for payment. You need to see someone, soon. Depression is treatable. Then after you have seen your dr and are on a treatment plan, call DSHS and see about health insurance through Washington State's Basic Health Plan. It's lower cost health insurance. If you don't make enough for that, you may qualify for healthcare thru DSHS. Don't delay, it's in the best interests of you, your husband and your daughter. Get well soon!!!

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