Depressed at Nine Months

Updated on February 18, 2010
R.M. asks from Trenton, NJ
17 answers

Hi my name is R.. i am nine and a half months pregnant with my first child and i am very depressed. i have been having contractions for weeks now and every time i wonder if he is gonna come but doesnt. i was wondering if the depression goes away i have my child because i am scared the depression will carry on after i have my son and that terrifies me.

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So What Happened?

Thank you every one for your advice. To answer a few of your questions. Everything is fine with the baby, my doctor says his heart beat is fine he is in the right size range. We have had snow for the last few days and my latest appointment was cancelled until this comin monday. My last appointment was on the 28th of Jan, which is makin me nervous because i am suppose to be going once a week. I also havent gotten my second exam yet which was suppose to be weeks ago. my contractions are getting stronger which hopefully is a good sign, but since i havent seen pr talked to any in a few weeks i have no way of knowing if my circumstances have changed.

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E.C.

answers from New York on

Talk to your midwife/doctor. They don't let you go more than 2 weeks past your due date. You must be exhausted and afraid. The unknown is scary. But soon, you will have a beautiful little baby to nurse and care for and the lowness is most likely to go away.

Sometimes the blues stay - but you just need to tell your doctor and spouse and friends. There is medicine to help the blues if it's serious. Sleep is a huge restorative!

And get the lactation consultant in to your room once you have given birth; she will help you figure out nursing. You can do it! Your baby loves you, knows your voice and can't wait to be cuddled.

You will be in my prayers.

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L.G.

answers from New York on

You can also always go to the Emergency room and say you are depressed. Every NJ hospital is required by law to have a protocol for dealing with postpartum depression. And even though you have not given birth, they still must still treat you the same.

NJ also has a PPD crisis hotline. the website ishttp://www.state.nj.us/health/fhs/postpartumdepression/in...

I can tell you from experience that this is a wonderful, caring amazing service. I have had counseors call me back to see how I was doing after calling.

If medication is suggested, I hope you will at least consider taking it. Depression is scary but the good enws is that it can be managed and many of us who gave it lead fully functional lives. I have 2 kids and was so bad during my second pregnancy that I ended up in what is called a partial hospital program. I did group therapy for 3 times a week for 12 weeks.

Your OBGYN can suggest some thearpists for you. Another resouce is your church if you have one. But above all.. trust your gut and take care of you first and always. Please keep us updated if you can about how things go.

L.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

I was late with my son and feeling physically and mentally TERRIBLE. He was my first. I had a long labor and ultimatley a c-section and the way it was timed wound up being in the hospital LONGER than normal. I got home and was an emotional wreck. Anxiety, depression, etc. You will not know if your depression will continue but you can be pretty sure that you are going to have TONS of emotions. It's ok. Is it normal? You and your doctor have to decide to what extent your emotions are normal b/c like I said you are going to be emotional. Talk to your doctors. Tell them EVERYTHING you are feeling so they can properly evaluate you. In the hospital I had to fill out a post partum questionnaire. Honestly nothing at the time said I was depressed when I got home and didn't bounce back my family was concerned. I was ultimately treated with Zoloft - I personally do not know if I should have been - it was given very freely and very quickly by one of the OB-GYNs in my practice - not even my regular one or the one who did my c-section. talk to someone close to you - husband? Mother? Sister and tell them your concerns and have someone "look out for you" so you are not alone in your decision or your treatments. I can say its common! Depression, anxiety, stress. All of it. Its NOT AT ALL ALL ROSES AND SMILES WHEN YOU HAVE A BABY and being late to deliver is stressful and upsetting. Don't worry though - theres treatment, theres support, everything and you are not alone IF you do continue to feel depressed. Just go with your feelings and DON'T HIDE THEM no matter what! If you do continue you will need help, support and treatment! Before my son I felt like everyting should be blissful and happy and you know what - its all HARD AS HELL. Pregnancy was hard for me, delivery, everything (colicky baby for 6 weeks) So if anyone is leading you to belive its blissful and easy, then talk to someone else. I am not saying its all bad but it is hard physically and emotionally but you will do it however you have to! I know I sound miserable and negative here but seriously I am not trying to scare you - my son is 3 now, I am trying for #2 so clearly its not all that bad - LOL! Plus its winter - and the weather in NJ has been pretty depressing for EVERYONE. I think once things get moving for delivery you will be feeling better. I think youre being late is whats really depressing you right now! You have a lot going on physically and mentally - but before you know it you will deliver and you will be ok - hang in there and good luck! God Bless!

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G.C.

answers from New York on

Hi R.,
I'm so sorry you're going through this. Who's your doctor/midwife, and what is their policy on induction? They shouldn't just let you go indefinitely past your due date because it's not good for you or the baby. I go to Delaware Valley and they induce if you go a week past your due date.

It's good that you're reaching out. There are a lot of resources available for post partum depression nowadays. I delivered at Princeton and they did a screening for PPD. I had some PPD resources that I got through a breastfeeding support group based in Hopewell and will see if I can find it.

Here's a local site for you to meet other new moms in our area and find support:
http://centraljersey.citymommy.com/?q=forum

I wish you the best. Please email me if you want to talk to someone local.

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A.G.

answers from New York on

Talk to you OB. the depression most likely will go away. The last few weeks are hard and if this is a first the unknown is probably weighing on you and either way you "just want him here" we ALL go through that so call your OB and then call a friend and GO OUT! It will be the last time for a long while that you come first!!! Congratulations and remember your not pregnant forever it just seems that way! (If your Michelle Duggar then you may be pregnant more time than your not ;))

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B.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi R., First of all,Congratulations!
I've had 3 and all right around my due date, which is hard enough, so I can only imagine how you must be feeling 2 weeks over due. I'm sure you're uncomfortable, anxious, stressed and tired, Which are all reasons enough to be depressed about individually, without throwing pregnancy hormones into the mix!! I'm not sure how long you've been feeling depressed, or what you circumstances are, but try your best to relax, rest and enjoy this time because you're going to be very busy, very soon! In a good way! Pamper yourself & let others pamper you!!
I was terribly depressed during both of my recent pregnancies! (Mostly due to my circumstances & I lost ALL desire for my husband) So bad, that I filed for divorce 2ce!! My marriage was a mess! I think people under estimate the power hormones have over us!! and they should research pregnancy depression more! Good news is that I didn't have PPD!! I was so scared that I would!! But once they were born, I was the happiest person in the world! I /we did seek counseling and it helped tremendously and needless to say, we are still married...
Breathe, Rest, Relax, Pray & Remember all that you have to be Thankful for! That's what I do to this day! You are so close to the finishing line. Could be any minute now!
Good Luck & God Bless!

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J.B.

answers from New York on

Hi, I don't know if the depression will continue. However, it's good that you recognize it and are aware. If you feel that it has continued after your child is born, be aware and take steps to make sure you address it. I'm sure your OB-GYN has a few doctors to refer you to. This is very normal and it's ok to feel somewhat depressed. It's when it continues for a while, and you can't seem to snap out of it, that you might need to see someone. I did, and it was the best thing that I could have done for me and my child. This is an amazing time in your life, congratulations and good luck!
JB

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M.W.

answers from Indianapolis on

if it does then talk to your doctor. there is no shame in getting on medicine for horomonal problems. Much better than worrying about how to handle a baby and depression at the same time.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi R., I hope and pray you have your baby soon. I carried my third child 3 weeks after my due date so I know how you feel. I am sure that once you see your beautiful baby you will not be depressed. Mind you , there can be the post partum blues that are caused but the change in hoemones after delivery. That should go away soon. If you are concerned, please call your OB/GYN. I wish you a happy baby and a safe delivery.... Grandma Mary

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J.H.

answers from Albany on

By now I'll assume you've had you little one... I did go thru the same thing and was on cloud 9 when my daughter FINALLY came. With my mom calling daily and co-workers telling me every day" you look like you're ready... I got so FRUSTRATED and depressed. It helped alot to hear that I wasn't the only one who had gone thru this. HUGS and Congratulations! -J.

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C.O.

answers from New York on

TALK TO YOUR OBGYN! I know that in the state of New York there are services available for women with post partum depression. I imagine the same is true for New Jersey. Every woman is different in the amount and severity and length of the 'baby blues'. I was depressed both times i brought my babies home but it cleared up after the first overwhelming day of homecoming and change, etc.
Don't just assume that it will go away. That is no reason to keep feeling bad.
Good luck--Also, drink some raspberry leaf tea. It worked for me, and thank god, my second was born 10 days early and he was already 9lbs 3 oz!

M.V.

answers from New York on

hi R.....please relax i want you to know that i went thru this too. i was depressed for a couple of months after my baby was born. it has to do with your hormones fluctuating. it got bad and i talked it over with my gyn and she prescribed some zoloft for me and it gave me the life i needed and then i weened off of them. all that was 3 yrs ago and now we're trying to for baby #2. so i know what to expect. so please call your doctor, this is perfectly normal and if your gyn isn't willing then go to your primary doctor. depression is a very serious illness and should not be ignored thinking it's gonna go away. also, maybe your dr. can induce you into labor, that's another option....i really feel for you! so hang in there and know you're not alone in this! -M.

N.T.

answers from New York on

Hi R.:

I'm glad you reached out. Have you consulted with a qualified health professional? Are you surrounded by people who love and will assist you? Take that next step and consult with a healthcare provider who can assess what's happening, provide healthy, therapeutic wellness care for, in general, but also for your pregnancy and baby.

My office is available to assist you with a consultation. We can have it over the telephone or in-office. My company specializes in maternity and baby care.

I would happy to discuss this further with you. I look forward to hearing from you.

N.
www.wholecreations.com/wombfull.html
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J.P.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi R.. Please talk to your doctor. It is normal to feel the way you do. Your doctor can help you. Your hormones are all over the place right now and of course all the expectations of having your first child are there too. No one can say for sure if it will continue after the baby comes, but if it does, that too is not unusual. There is help and believe me, it feels so good to take it. Your doctor will be able to plan a course of action with you now, and after the baby is born. Let yourself enjoy your baby, and piece of mind. It's great that you reached out here. Now continue, tell your husband/partner and your doctor. Wishing you the best.

M.H.

answers from New York on

I do not want to upset you but have you talk to your DOCTOR. This could be serious, and how is the baby? I would ask her can depression delay delivery?

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P.H.

answers from San Francisco on

Dear R., I am really sorry to hear you are so depressed. It's perfectly understandable why you would be at 9-1/2 mos! Is there a reason your OB isn't advising you to be induced by this point? I am a huge believer in letting babies come when they are ready, but usually after 9 mos., the doctor does recommend being induced. Is the baby too small still or what? These are reasonable questions for you to ask, if you haven't already.

I had post-partum depression and so did my daughter. If you are nursing, you'll need to ask your doctor if you can be on medication if you are still depressed. It's very normal to have some blues after having a baby sometimes and it's not always the kind that lasts a long time. Having a first time baby is pretty scary and you can feel a little overwhelmed at times, especially if you don't have a lot of help or support from your husband or family and friends. Make sure you try to get outside as often as you can and babies love to be outdoors, even if for just a little bit, if you live in the cold.

Whatever happens, please make sure to talk to your doctor and someone who will listen to you! There is no shame in feeling depressed or blue, now or after the baby is born. I wish you luck, R. and I hope your contractions start becoming strong enough to go into active labor or your doctor induces you to move things along. Talk to him/her about how you feel! That's the most important part and don't feel silly telling them how you feel. You are important and need to be reassured that you are getting the help you need, sweetie. God bless. I'll be thinking of you.
P.

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H.W.

answers from New York on

I would talk to someone, but particularly my doctor. Your partner may be able to help somewhat, but your doctor will probably have good advice as this is s common problem at nine months.

I have two boys and I found the last month or so to be borderline miserable both times. I felt fine physically and I was healthy, but I was starting to hate being so huge and always uncomfortable, and yes looking forward every day to a birth that seemed was never going to happen! Can you go get a prenatal massage? Go out to the movies? I think anything you can do right now to "get out of your own head" will help. It will end soon, even if it feels like it never will, I promise!

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