I'm loving my 30s way more than I ever did my 20s.
I agree with everyone else. You wake up every day and are a day older than you were yesterday...so what's the big deal?
Hi ladies! I will be 30 this autumn and I feel so depressed about it! :(
I will step in a new decade in my life and I am not ready for it. I feel like I leave behind my best years, my youth, my health...
Anyone else who felt the same way? How can I overcome this? I want to enjoy the most of what is left of my 20s but the I cannot. I am only thinink that I am getting old and I am only getting close to...my end.
I have a family, a little boy so I don't have any reason to feel this way, but the big 30 is really scary.
Any advise? Will this phase pass?
I'm loving my 30s way more than I ever did my 20s.
I agree with everyone else. You wake up every day and are a day older than you were yesterday...so what's the big deal?
You're only as old as you feel! Quite frankly, my 30's were WAY better than my 20's. Yes the 20's are times of fun, carefree times, but not until my 30's did I start to even BEGIN to understand who I was and what I really wanted. It's been enlightening, and I wouldn't trade it for the 20's ever! (well maybe an occasional Friday night fun night, but I'd probably be yawning by 10pm) :)
Don't stress! You will only grow finer with age! :)
Are you serious? Sweety, age is nothing but a number. You are as young as you feel. Im 33 years old and have more spunk than my 20 year old daughter.
I have never held any big drama in my mind about "milestone" birthdays as an adult. Or really, even as a kid (turning double digits, turning 16, etc... it was never about the age--it was about the freedom--driver's license, etc).
When you catch yourself feeling this way, consider the alternative. The only known one is NOT turning 30.... Not really what you want, right?
Oh, give me a break. Try 55 on for size.
And by the way, it's highly unlikely your twenties will be your "best" years, if you have any imagination at all. And much of your health is up to you, unless you develop some illness -- I've got twenty-five years on you and I'll bet I can outrun you...
Will this phase pass? It's your choice to stop such silly negative thinking. You are a mere youngster, if you ask me. :)
Let me say this very kindly: this sort of navel-gazing gloom and doom is going to age you far faster than the calendar will.
I had a grandmother who, even when I was seven, would send us letters about how old and tired she was. She lived another 30 years and most if it was a misery if you asked her how she was doing. I loved her dearly, but to listen to her... ugh. You would have been making cemetery reservations for her if you took her too seriously.
Everyone else who said attitude is most important is correct. Consider this: you live in a part of the world where you DO have health care, have access to good food, access to fitness.
Consider what part of your life is informing you that becoming older is a 'bad' thing. What's behind that belief that somehow the Grim Reaper starts getting interested in you?
I loved my thirties. I left a bad marriage, later met my husband at the beginning of that time. I got pregnant at 35. "Geriatric prima?" screw that. I took charge of my life and got good exercise and had a great birth. Now that I'm 42, I am GLAD for the life experience. Glad I'm at a place in my life where I am content, happy with myself and my life and don't really worry about what other people might think of me too much. (as long as I'm doing my part of being a decent human being, that is!)
So, enjoy the sunshine and don't let the top of your coffin start closing on you. You've got plenty of life to live-- how you perceive it and what you do with that time is entirely up to you.;)
I was too busy living to ponder how long I was doing it so I hardly noticed, heck 40 flew right by as well, half way to 50 and I am feeling kind of whatever about that one as well.
You can let the date beat you up or you can own it. The latter keeps a smile on your face.
Oh Geesh, I turned 48 this month.
I guess I have one foot in the grave, huh?
You are not leaving behind your youth or your health - unless of course you decide the maintain the attitude that your life is over once you hit 30.
Because, that is what "age" is - attitude.
It is a number - you will have many numbers in life - it is what you do with them that counts - not what the number is.
I am sorry, but panicking over 30 is just silly.
I just turned thirty. Want to know how I feel different? I don't. You don't turn thirty and lose your health, your fun. and your youth. Come on. It's a day. Let it go and LIVE your life. Or, you will turn 40 and be depressed that you didn't live your 30's.
Good things about turning 30 or being in your 30's.....
- You have better orgasms. You understand your body better and you are in your sexual peak in your 30's.
- you are more patient.
- you are more understanding.
- you get more respect from "older" folks.
- you know yourself better.
- you get rid of those friends that aren't really friends.
- you don't care what other people think
- you can still change your WHOLE life if you are not satisfied with it.
i'll be turning 50 in a couple of months and i'm excited about it....it's a chance for a new page/chapter of my life. my son will be 11 and i'm looking forward to being able to still do things with him. most people can't guess my age- most think i'm in my late 30's...love it!!! jsut think of the new chapter that is going to open for you and with a child that is still small and all you can do with him and for him!!! al the memories and time you still have before you!!! turning 30 isn't bad....i had troubles at 25!!
Please print your question for yourself, tuck it away and read it in 20 years. I promise you that you will have a good laugh!
The 30s are awesome. People finally regard you as a bonafide adult. Not like some adolescent in their twenties . It is true.
Trust me, I am older and wiser.
I think one thing that really helps is to realize you are NOT leaving behind your best years/youth/health.
-The older I get, the more happy and relieved I am that I am not longer in my 20's.
-I know a lot more NOW about how to do my makeup, hair and take care of myself, than I did in my 20's. I am more physically fit and respect my body more. I am more active. I stopped smoking and drinking and overall feel and look more vibrant and healthy.
-I am more interesting now than I was in my 20's. I have become wiser, I participate in more activities, I have more energy. While I still have young children, they are old enough that I can start finding myself again. That is exciting!
-If it helps, think Jennifer Aniston, Sophia Vergara, Cameron Diaz, Leslie Mann... etc. So many actresses and celebrities that are 30's and 40's and still regarded as the bees knees :)
I just turned 50 in December and people think I'm 30. Girlfriend, I own it! I don't feel depressed and old. I have a lovely 26 year old daughter and a beautiful little grandson who will be 2 in May. I have a 17 year old son still living at home. We are so close and I'm so proud of him that I can hardly see straight.
I raised two great kids as a single mom. I've been independent for the last 15 years since my divorce. There have been some rough patches here and there, but my life is truly blessed. Really.
Longevity runs in my family, so I don't intend to leave this earth any time soon.
As you get older, you learn to enjoy the different phases in life. I understand so much more about myself as a woman and as a person in this world.
I'm not trying to dismiss or not acknowledge your feelings, I'm just saying that your life is far from over at 30. Women DO get better with age in many ways, trust me.
Very best wishes.
My 30s rocked. So much better than my 20s. Now that I'm in my 40s, I'm enjoying them even more. I've heard that your 50s are the best....
My point, you have the best parts of our life still to live. There is a lot more to life than youth.
It's just another day. Look at it that way. Not another year, not another decade. Just one more day to be alive and enjoy and embrace your life and the blessings you have.
And it's way better being on this side of the dirt. Just sayin. I just turned 50 and feel like I'm 30. You're only as old as you think you are. So stop thinking so negatively. Once you hit 30, or maybe the day after, you will see you are absolutely no different than the day before. It's just one day.....
I just turned 32 a few days ago. Honestly, so far my thirties are way better than my twenties were.
Lesley B. is right. Age is about attitude. You can't stop the process, you are going to get older. You may as well get comfortable with the idea. Look around you. Thirty is not old. It will only be traumatic if you make it so. Makes more sense to worry about something you have some control over, don't you think?
I liked my 30s more than my 20s. My cousin, who is now 62, said that every decade was better than the last.
If you think this is bad, try hitting 40! That's where I am now! And really, it's okay!
Look at it this way...at least you aren't turning 40 (no offense to anyone in their 40s).
Honey, you better learn to accept your age really fast! Fill your life with love, laughter, people, knowledge, service, compassion. When you start feeling fulfilled, you'll start thinking life isn't long enough, instead of thinking that at 30 you are nearing the end. Life is too short - lighten up and enjoy it!
I never dreaded any of the milestone birthdays, still don't and I'll be 60 in May. But I do understand how you do, and don't discount it. Life doesn't end at 30 by any means, your best is really yet to come, now you get to put everything you know and have learned into practice. Decades ending and beginning are mere numbers, not dictators of how life will be. Age is a number, life declines when you choose it to.
In the last 30 years many wonderful things have happened in my life, along with some bad ones, none related to my age. At 56 I became mom to my youngest grandchild, who was then 3 months old. I NEVER thought I'd be raising a young child at this age, but it's actually been fun, he helps me remember you're only as old as you feel. I have fibromyalgia and have hurt a lot the last 15 years, but that is really secondary to everything else, and hasn't stopped me from enjoying life. My hair is gray (I got tired of coloring it years ago) and long, it reaches my waist, and I still get compliments on it. I'm planning a trip by train this coming October with my young grandson, we're going to meet with some high school friends of mine. Yes, life is different than it was at 30, and I'm glad. I've gone through some truly horrible things in life, but they're behind me is how I view it, I've also had my bouts with depression because of them and got treatment, the trick is to always move forward, not dwell in the past.
My sister wanted to plan an over-the-hill party for me, complete with coffin, no thanks. I'm planning my own, a Minnie Mouse tea party, go ahead and laugh, I like pink and red and polka dots ;) I'm planning on making all sorts of little desserts instead of a cake, all the ladies need to wear dresses, any guys who come a shirt and tie. I even plan to make bracelets as gifts for everyone, (yes, even for the guys, maybe with skulls), so one day they can look at them and smile as they remember I wasn't old and still had fun at 60.
Feel blessed you'll have made it to 30, many have not had that opportunity. I truly hope you can not be depressed about turning 30, D., even if you can't embrace it. Life is too short to stress about things we can't change and are inevitable like our numerical ages. Focus on living and enjoying life. Have fun, life is what you make it out to be.
one day older doesnt make you ancient. I mean i dont get being upset over a number. you will be J. as old physically speaking in 6 months as today. i get thinking wow...x portion of my life is over that went fast, but not feeling old because of a number
I will admit i did enjoy saying i was in my 20's more but i turned 30 in october and have had no issues with it
I'm really sorry you feel this way. The 30s were some of the best years of my life!
What I have trouble with is the 5s. 25, 35 and last year, 45 were really hard on me for some reason.
What you need to do is change your attitude about turning 30. Your youth doesn't end at 29. It ends when you want to feel old. Stay young at heart.
Your a baby, You haven't had the time of your life yet D.! My thirties were awesome. My forties were great! Still working on my fifties and I know I will be have more times of my life.
If we keep living we will each reach some magical number and 30 is just one of them. Let's be real what is the alternative?
My mom was 30 and holding until she died. LOL That whole concept got tricky when I refused to lie about my age.
Leaving my 20's was awesome, I was so happy to be rid of that miserable decade of my life. The 30's were amazing. You really do have a very strong sense of self and what you want and need out of life and people.
Also in my circle of friends growing up, there were quite a few of them that didn't even make it to 25 years old. So I'm grateful for every day. You should try writing down reasons you are grateful for your life as well as writing down goals.
Every year I try to learn something new. Last year I learned how to crochet hats. This year I'm not certain what it will be but I will be learning something new and interesting. I started this when I turned 30. I know alot of new and wonderful things. LOL
You are going to bloom into a beautiful flower. You are going to do so many new things that you have the maturity to understand and enjoy. Your health and your youth are going to be with you for another 30 years, trust me. You have energy and drive and the ability to move the world.
Again it is about attitude. If you feel old you are going to be old. If you feel young you will be young.
I will be 66 this year and I still feel like I am 40 with a few aches here and there.
So go out and take a class or two or pick up a hobby that you don't have and let life begin! Yes it is a new decade but you have so much to look forward to and to learn.
Here's to you from "Peter Pan". I don't want to grow up but I want to enjoy life to its fullest.
the other S.
Yikes, I hope you're not getting close to "the end!" I'm going to be 45 this year, does that mean I've already got one foot in the grave?
Seriously, my 30's were the best. I was the happiest, the healthiest (my body was rockin) and way more confident and secure than I was in my 20's. And sex was THE BEST EVER!!! I was done having babies but my kids were still little and fun.
The 40's have been okay, but now is the time I'm really noticing the aging process: extra weight that doesn't come off as easily, wrinkles and a few gray hairs, taking longer to recover from illness or injury, surly TEENAGERS instead of fun little kids :-(
ENJOY your 30's, most women I know agree that it is by far the best decade!
Haha. Wait I until you are in your 60s! The best years of your life are ahead of you, believe me. Actually I think 50s on are the best years. You know who and what is important. You figure out who you want in your life. Kids are grown. Hopefully, financially you are in a good way. Life is good.
So go celebrate 30. The best is yet to come.
Cheer up!! I felt just the way you did...when my husband turned 30. I was just a year behind him. You will get over it. I guess it is just the reality of life passing you by, but you don't really have to think of it as your end. Heck, I've had more fun in my life since turning 30 than I did in my 20's. I am 46 now, and it never even bothers me. We have lots of friends that are having their 50th birthday parties, and I watch as they enter a new phase in their lives. Their kids are grown and gone, and they just have each other on a day to day basis, and they just get to have fun and do whatever they want. I love my kids dearly, but I am really looking forward to that in a few years. After that comes grandkids!!!!!
Oh my gosh I will never forget it, that's exactly how I felt when I was thirty. I cannot pinpoint the why or the how comes or anything, just remember sitting outside in the sun that day and feeling the horrible depression. Well, twenty five years later, I am here, went through a lot of things and thirty was a blink before each changing year. I'd say go ahead and feel it, cry a bit, mourn what you think you lost or are losing and move on. You my friend have a whole lot of living to do!! Happy Birthday!
You do sound depressed. Would therapy help? I feel for you, as so many people carry that mentality with them. At the same time, I've always been the opposite. So excited to start a new decade, earn every age, be proud of it, and look forward to the next decade. With age comes wisdom. It's true. (Even if there is more pain, ha ha.) Hope you have a very happy birthday! After 30 (and 40, and 50, and 60), time will go by even faster, so *enjoy it* as much as you can. :)
Gee, I guess no one explained all that change going on at 30 to me. I thought 30 was the "new 20." I was so excited when I turned 30, because I read somewhere that a woman is most beautiful at 35 and hits her prime at 35. It's true. I was really "hot" in my 30s. You get more of a woman's figure...very curvey and you no longer look like a kid. I didn't get gray hair until 42 and still don't have much. (That part's just lucky genes.) I will admit to starting to exercise with 20 lbs. set of dumb bells/free weights (10 lbs. in each hand.) when I turned 30, since I read that you gradually start loosing muscles at 30. Wound up being stronger and leaner than I was in my 20s. I had my fist and only child at 35....Kid's a genius. (Trust me it not always fun living with a kid that's smarter than you.) I finally learned how to ride a bike when I turned 40. Now, I'm 50 and a little whiney. (lol) Can't wait for menopause. Anyhow, here are some ideas for "coping.":
1. Start an exercise program either with a video at home or with friends. Just get out there and do it. Remember...1. Exercise is your playtime....2. Exercise is King.
2. Start finding fun healthy ways to cook or prepare fruit and vegies and slow way down on the meat. You really don't need as much protein as people think. Also fish, nuts, beans, and single servings of eggs are much healthier.
3. Find a hobby to keep your mind off stuff.
4. Find some quiet time for yourself.
5. Find a good book to read.
6. Find your inner child.
7. Enjoy the ride.
I am (almost) 47 and love it. The confidence, the ability to let go of things that don't matter, better physical shape than my 20's....the list goes on. The only downside I see at my age is the need to wear glasses to read..drives me nuts. I even love the grey in my hair and am starting to let those shine through too.
At 30 I probably didn't appreciate or realize how I would change and grow over the years. I like who I am now and wouldn't go back to my 20's for anything!!
Everyone knows 30 is the new 21. ;)
Im turning the big dirty this summer so if I havent lost my memory by then I will PM you to let you know just how much it hurt. LOL But seriously I am feeling the same way as you. I have a family too - a great husband and the 2 best kids in the world but I feel like its such unchartered territory and I am very unsure. I know 30 isnt old but when you are coming out of your twenties it certainly feels that way.
Good Luck Geezer (JK)
Interestingly, I didn't feel this way at all. I felt "30" when I turned 31, but I think the 20's are overrated ;) Yes, my body is older (I'm 45 as of last week), but I felt like the 30's was where things kinda "clicked" a bit more. Especially nowadays where people can live longer, 30 is a blip. The women in my family live into their 90's so 45 is "Middle age" for me.
It's a perspective thing. It's just a number, really. It's how you feel, not a number on a calendar. I look about 38, which is great. My older sis who is 64 still feels like she's in her 40's (unless her arthritis is acting up LOL).
Are you still young? Yes. Are you still healthy? Some people don't have their health in their 20's so unless you're deteriorating for some reason, you're still healthy. It's all about perspective. As they say in Monty Python, you're "not dead yet", so embrace your 30's and run with them. It's just a number.
If it makes you feel any better, you're only 16 in Martian years!
LOL... when my mom turned 30, my older sister and I told her how ooooolllldddd she was. And to a 9 and 10 year old, 30 is just ancient. When I turned 30 (10 years ago) I apologized to her because I realized that age is more about your attitude and love of life. She is in her 60s now, but her enthusiasm for living make people believe she is closer to her 40s!
Nothing is coming to a close, nothing is ending. When you mark the 30th anniversary of your birth all you will be marking is that you have managed to survive 30 trips of the earth around the sun. Given average life expectancy, you aren't even at the mid-way point yet! Life is what you make of it, so go out and live it. Youth is overrated anyway -- young people don't really know how to enjoy life.
This should make you feel better...know that I will turn FORTY this year, and that I would LOVE to trade places with YOU!!! And if that doesn't make you feel better, maybe this will...my thirties were better than my 20s, honestly. I felt more settled, knew more of what I wanted, knew who I was, and cared less about what others thought about me. Yet in your 30s, people still call you young, and you aren't that different, physically speaking, maybe just a few more pounds or wrinkles. Now, your 40s, that's a difficult pill to swallow. I do realize though, that my neighbor down the street who just freaked out when he turned 50 last week, is probably thinking about me the way I'm thinking about you, lol.
As a young adult, I always thought that 30yo would be the epitome of cool. You're finally old enough to really enjoy life, know some things, yet still young enough to do whatever you want with your life. I truly looked forward to being 30. And, 30 was GREAT!
Turning 40, however, was another matter. I didn't dread it, but I also didn't welcome it like I did 30.
My mother said turning 50yo was the best ever. (She had 4 younguns when 30yo, so I completely understand.) She's over 70 now and fitter than most 50 yos.
I too at one time wasn't ready to join the 30's club. For me it was about the visual I had in my mind (from when I was a kid) of those moms with children who still try to dress hip. I knew that I was soon going to become one. And I wasn't ready to give up my 20's.
But, we can't stand still and time must go on. I think acceptance will come to you in time. And you'll also realize its not so bad being 30.
I've actually become really good friends with a lot of my daughters moms who are also in their 30's that has helped a ton, too. Ya know, meeting people within the same age and same similarities is quite nice actually.
Once you get here...you'll have a hard time being around those in their 20's. LOL
I turned 30 last month. It was no big deal to me however I realize that for whatever reason(no condescension)if does bother you. In my personal experience being 30 means nothing more than being 20 but by 20 I was already a parent and doing what I'm currently doing so that could be why my view is skewed.
Look at turning 30 as an entrance into a new decade that is often looked upon by society to have more of a place than 20 - somethings. Turn you turning 30 into a blow out if you need to and allow yourself all the delight in being able to welcome yet another year. Enjoy it! There is no reason to have negativity around getting older. Becoming older brings with it wisdom, for most, and for that alone I welcome age.
Honestly my 30's have been even more amazing than my 20's...sure life slows down a bit and things get into a routine...but that is what being an adult is all about and what I was looking forward to growing up!
It's okay to mourn or go all out and get drunk and slobbery all over your friends (if you did that in your 20's) and then feel it ten fold the next day (LOL). Or just cry a bit, be mad about it (it's okay), eat chocolate, etc....and then realize and relish in the fact that 30 is STILL young!!!
Sorry, can't help you here. I could not WAIT until my 30th birthday. I was totally fine with leaving my 20's behind. The only thing that depressed me about turning 40 was my energy level dipping. If my body would work as well as it did in my 20's I'd welcome 50 with open arms.
I am 48.... looking back, WOW.. 30 was so young!! it's a matter of perspective... That old adage , " you are as young as you feel" it's so true... at this moment, you might feel old... but believe me when I say.... enjoy your good health, take care of your body, mind and spirit.... and when you do that, the rest will fall into place (or in some cases out of place :) hahah
I heard someone say, age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese..
For my 30th birthday, I called all my friends over, had a huge party, and got completely hammered-lol. Still the best birthday ever.What's the saying- "if you can't beat 'em join 'em"? That goes for birthdays especially. Might as well go with the flow cause there ain't no going back (and why would you want to?)
Yes, this phase will pass. The 30's are so awesome that I'm completely depressed to be leaving them later this year. LOL! Seriously though, I can without question say that my 30's were SO MUCH better than my 20's!
I'm so much wiser and more comfortable in my own skin now. I don't worry as much what people think about me. I'm surrounded by genuine friends who are interested IN me and not just hanging out with me. If that makes sense.
I could go on, but you get the drift. I think it's human nature to approach each new decade with a little apprehension but try to stay upbeat! I promise you you'll look back at this post and wonder why you ever wanted to hold on to your 20's. LOL!
Turning 30 was AWFUL! We were in a bad spot financially, I wasn't happy with my physical appearance...it was just depressing! But, it got better. I lost some weight, we paid off some bills and I stopped dwelling on the fact that I was old! I am 32 now and my 30's haven't been so bad. I've come to terms with the fact that I'm not so young anymore, but it still makes me sad sometimes. Don't dwell on it just yet- you still have months left of your 20's- enjoy it!
I'm jealous you haven't hit 30 yet...it gets easier as the years pass to not feel so hung up on a number.
But yes, I remember 30 feeling like a "big one". Just focus on your family and your health. They say your as young as you feel.... :)
Oh Lord do I miss being in my twenties and being able to wear the clothes I want and being able bounce back immediately from a bit of weight gain.
Other than that, what I love about being almost 36 is the clarity I have as a full fledged adult. I know myself so well now. I stand firm on my beliefs. I know who and what doesn't work for me and why. Those things you can't trade off anymore.
My kids and my husband, we are all getting older slowly. But the thirties, you're going to say to yourself, Why was I so sad and scared? This is actually a really awesome time!
Welcome to this decade. Not much changes. Just a better you is waiting to emerge. Embrace it.
Well, my 20s were definitely better than my teenage years (no surprise to anyone else, I'm sure), my 30s were better than my 20s, and so far, my 40s have been pretty darned great--better in some ways than my 30s. So from the vantage point of someone who hasn't seen 39 in a while, I encourage you to consider the possibility that 30 will be wonderful in ways you can't even predict yet. I probably was nervous about 30 at the time, however it worked out so very very well.
In my 30s, I FINALLY got done with adolescence and found my center. I got married to a lovely man, had two kids (actually one at age 40), and settled in a great job. 30 did not mean the end to my health (though knees started to act up in new ways...); 40 did result in some weight gain, however it's also meant the opportunity to appreciate my health every day. I think I actually look better now than in my 20s because I am sure of who am I and what I have to offer others in connecting with them. So far, it's all been good! Dunno if those experiences help you work through the fear, however I just thought I'd share them. Good luck and enjoy the ride!
I'm sure you'll get a lot of answers chuckling... I'm in my 40's so 30 seems so young! I hadn't even met my husband when I turned 30! As a matter of fact, I was in a new city, alone on my 30th bday. I could get depressed about being in my 40's but it's not going to do me any good. Just don't go there. At 30, you likely aren't even close to 1/2 way through your life. Start making plans of all you want to do. And turning 30 like I did was way more depressing but all turned out great! Be satisfied so far things are turning out just as you probably wanted them to. If something is missing, identify it and then remember you have oodles of time to address it. Seriously, 40 is the new 30 so 30 is the new 20. I also was just way more comfortable with myself after 30. It honestly gets better and better. Being mature has its upside.
Honestly, I'll be 31 in June, and I'm still waiting for it to pass (though I have every confidance that it will). I was pretty depressed about turning 30, especially since my identity was wrapped around being a young mom. I still cringe to say 30 when someone asks my age. It does make me feel old, and worry about stuff a little more. It makes me feel like the parents are even older and that their end is right around the corner.