Deciding on One More Child

I am going through the exact same thing (I have a post on here somewhere about having a baby after 35). My husband is not completely sure yet if he wants a 3rd, so we haven't done anything yet...but I think a 3rd would be nice. However, it DOES change the dynamic. I was one of 3, and I babysit for a family of 3, and it seems that there is often the opportunity for "ganging up"--2 against 1--when kids play. As far as worrying about having a baby with "issues", the rate goes up with maternal age, but all in all, it is a gamble, really. You can control how you take care of your body, of course--take your prenatal vitamins, don't eat undercooked meat, stay away from fish--you know the drill! Other than that, I think it is all up to chance. You have to decide if you would be willing to take that chance...I say go for it! I am hoping we will too. :) Good luck with your decision!

I say if you want one more, your husband wants one, your pregnancies are fine and healthy, you are financially stable--go for it. Like someone said wait and see if the feeling passes if not, then there is your answer! I have two kids, if I would have been younger, and my pregnancies wouldn't have been such high risk, I would have had one more. I LOVE babies!!

GL:)

I've heard people say before that going from 2 to 3 is a big step (& see that below as well). I guess I just want to reassure you that I didn't feel that way. Perhaps this is the train of thought because so many only have 2, so they automatically think that 3 will be so much more busy? As for us, we found that the 3rd one was easy; the 4th made us busier (nothing to do with the personalities, just more bodies!), but then the older 2 were old enough to help out a little, so it wasn't too big of a transition either. Don't let fear be your guide; trust that it will all work out as it's supposed to. My husband & I both came from families of 7 (he the oldest, me the youngest), & experience has showed us that siblings are the best gift you can ever give your other children.
I am: a part-time working mother of 14, 12, 7, & 3 year olds, trusting that God will know if I can handle more! It's a good feeling.

I'm going through the same thing...we have a 4 1/2 year old son and our daughter will be a year old in February. We said we'd decide shortly after she turns one, if we would like to try to be blessed one more time. I'm just not sure either. My thought was to just see what happens and if we're meant to be blessed we will and if not, then it wasn't meant to be. That's my approach.....I think. : )

When I was where you are a good friend of mine said "you may regret not having another child but you never regret having a child". Don't know if this helps but it helped me ( I had another baby).

I have a just turned 4 year old, a just turned 2 year old, and a just turned one year old. So, only 12 months separation in age for the last two. Even so, I think it was much harder to go from one child to two, than from two to three. After the second, you are more skilled at being a mommy and probably just know that things work themselves out between the children. I was so worried about sleep issues, having two "babies," and having 3 in diapers at first - but everyone adjusted just fine and I can't imagine our lives without our 3rd. In fact, we had planned on just 2, but now that #3 is here and such a blessing, we occasionally think about having 4. Also, just to think about, if you have twins in your family, the 3rd pregnancy could be twins. Mine was, but one twin didn't survive the 1st trimester. I think with the age separation you will have between the kids, you will have a bit of an easier adjustment to 3 than I did.

How old are you? If you aren't 40 yet you have time to wait a year or two.

The 3rd child will double the amount of work. It will make the house feel smaller. The car will get smaller so you might have to get a bigger one. If you a boy and a girl now the sex won't make a difference, but if you have 2 of one sex and you have one of the other sex it is buying everything from the ground up including room decor, clothes, toys, everything.

I think it is less of a jump to go from 3 to 4 than from 2 to three.

I would say if you have one of each. QUIT. If you really, really want to have one of the opposit sex, then know what your getting into. Lots of work, the sexes are so different to raise, the toys are very different - boys use noisy things like trucks with motors and they all seem to love those little to big characters. Girls like soft things, babies, and there things are generally smaller in size. But then there is the play kitchen etc.

The boys will play with her things but she will scream her head off if she doesn't want them to, and she will play with their stuff alot and depending on how old they are and how many years between them, they will be better at sharing.

If you have girls you know how they scream with that shrill. Boys don't do that, they hollar, REAL LOUD.

It is a real big decision to make. Like is said if you are 38 or 39 take a little time. The baby isn't 2 yet.

Have fun with your children, love them to death, and don't sweat the small stuff!! M. b.

(I didn't take time to check spelling etc, so you will have to guess where I goofed)

I have 7 kids and can say by the 3rd one you have got it almsot down, and every kid after really wasn't that much harder. More laundry, more food, more kids yelling mommy....yes. But not really any more difficult, I rely heavily on planning, organization, and a big monthly calander to kepp everything straight, but I LOVE having a big family, my husband and I came from realativly small families, and know we have added to it, heck so has my sister and her 5, I love that my kids will have each other......I hope :). If you are really concerend maybe wait a little and see if it will pass, otherwise I say the more the marrier!

E., EVERY NEW CHILD will change the family dynamics. It doesn't follow that it will be a bad or difficult thing. And even if you have a baby with "issues," you will find a way to love and be blessed by him/her anyway, and that includes the children you already have. Maybe even foster greater sensitivity with the daily opportunity to learn. Why are you feeling the biological clock ticking? Are you in your late 30's???? If you and your husband want more, then go for it when you feel it's the right timing. Really, there are advantages to both waiting and to having another now. If you wait, you might enjoy the fact that your older children will be out of diapers, and only one will be in them at a time. However, if you don't wait, then your diaper days can be done earlier, and you won't have to start over with it all over again. But, there are many more factors bigger than diapers for having/not having a baby. Your age, your medical history, you and your dear husband's desire to want to parent again, etc. It is true, that just because you can get pregnant with children before, doesn't mean it will be just as easy the next time. We can't always bank on that. Not one of us can decide what is best for you, though. I just wanted to let you know that whatever you decide, I think that you will be able to see the project through. Good luck.
J.

My personal opinion is that if you are having doubts, wait it out! If you have another baby and and find out that it's overwhelming for you, it could do the opposite to your family! Try refocusing your thoughts on how fulfilled you are already and see what happens. Maybe you'll find out your family is just right!

E.,

I have found that each family has a number of children that is right for them; taking all kinds of things into consideration. Any risks of birth defect or any kind of issues should be based on maternal age statistics and your family history. How does your husband feel about more children?

I know that three children can be a lot different than two. But I have also heard that after three four is not as major of a change and as a mother of four this definately seems to be the case with our family. My husband and I cuurrently would like one more, but feel that the right spacing can be key to what kind of work is involved. Whenever we start to talk about it we go through finances, medical costs, Montessori tuition, air travel costs for vacations, college tuitions, etc. If you are set enough on the idea of having another child whether or not the baby has issues is something that is beyond your control and definitely somthing to take into consideration if you are at high risk for that type of thing.

This feedback is just a bunch of things that I personally go through during thoughts of having another child and in my own situation. I hope that some of it may be helpful for at least a networking kind of feedback regaurding what you may be going through in your situation.

Good Luck with your decision!

M.

I always feel, and have recognized the admission in other women who are beyond child-bearing age, that if you are thinking and wondering about another child, then the wonder and thought is there for a reason. I think you should have another child at this point. It's those who have admitted to me and I've heard over and over ... the wonder is still there many years later if they didn't have that child. The wondering "if" doesn't get any easier or any more fulfilling if you don't take advantage of the timing. For me it was like that and after my third child, I truly did felt complete ... that this was our family. I've never wondered about another child or that extra seat at the table. I am happy, blessed and lucky we have three. Can't imagine life any other way.