Dealing with Temper Tantrums

The best way to deal with a temper tantrum is to ignore it and to not give into what it is she wants. The minute you give in she realizes that throwing tantrums works to get what she wants. If you ignore it she'll eventually realize it doesn't work and that mom means business. Once you start doing this the tantrums will get worse before they get better but hang in there it will get better. If you are out in public, store, restraunt, etc. Pick her up and leave until she gets control and then try again. As a mom of 4 I've been there but it does get better.

It sounds to me like she isn't seeing you as an authority figure. Make sure that whatever discipline you use you follow through. (ignoring is not a form of discipline)She has to realize sooner or later that YOU are the parent and she is NOT in charge. Pretty much all children will test at one point but if you are consistent they usually get it. It will get better. My husband & I have raised 2 children, one boy and one girl. They are now 16 & 20 and are still a great source of joy in our lives! I hope you get to stay home like you are planning, it's very rewarding! God bless!

I feel for you as we are going through the same thng with our 2 1/2 yo old (for the 3rd time). It seems to happen every 6 months for a couple of weeks and then she goes back to the darling, loveable girl we all know and love. Be firm and consistent in your discipline. We've modified ours a little over time. At 18 months, time out worked like a charm...2 years was about the same. Now we have to alternate between sending her to her room and time out with us (depending on the severity of her actions), but we try to do the time out wherever we are...repeat offenses over a period of 5-10 minutes result in her going to her room for 5 minutes.

I disagree in believing that it is because you are not the primary caregiver. She knows that you are her mother and that is why she is challenging you. Our daughter didn't start challenging her teacher at daycare until a few months or weeks ago.

My daughter did the same thing around that age, she is now 2. When she was little and would throw a temper tantrum, I would et down on her level and talk to her calmly. Temper tantrum are just our kids way of expressing themselves, they don't know any other way to get what they want across to us. So it is our job to show them the correct way. So I always started by saying, "I know that you want 'this' and I know that you are mad, but I said no, now when you can calm down them I will listen to you." It didn't always work, but for the most part, my staying calm and talking to her down at her level seemed to calm her down. Her temper tantrums at that age didn't last long at all. Now her two-year-old tantrums are different. I still talk to her calmly, but I also ignore the behavior. But at 11 months, your daughter just needs to be taught how to deal with her feelings. Good luck and I hope this helps.

I have been watching nanny 911, and I think that she would say that your daughter is not recognizing you as the parent or the boss. she maybe has decided that the babysitter is the boss, since she obviously is listening to her. Nanny 911 would say to talk to her when she does this and explain to her that when she acts out in this way it is time for a time out. perhaps put her in a chair or area that you call time out. let her know that when she starts acting calmly she can re-join you. If you give in to these tantrums you are giving "her" the power and relinquishing it from yourself. you should watch the show, these nanny's are really smart when it comes to handling children's behaviors. She holds nothing back. She lets you know that it is usually the parents mistakes that create the bad behavior in the children. Good luck!

Hi M. :)

My daughter is almost 2 and I've just started using this technique on her--but it works so well, I wish I had started doing it much earlier. lol!
When my daughter (or son) throws a tantrum or won't stop whining I warn them first, then banish them to the bathroom. The bathroom is a very boring place and there is no one to hear them so they stop pretty darn quick hehe! When she stops crying, open the door and say something like, "Ok, now. Are you going to stop crying now? You can come out, but you be a good girl ok?" If she starts in again--put her back in. Be consistant and she will soon learn that tantrums are very unrewarding and will stop doing them. :)

ingrore her when she acts like that ,or give her a spat on the leg
all she wants is your attion negitive or good it dos'nt matter she miss her mommy spend time with her play ,read go to park get a swing set ,but spend time with just her mommy
L.

My little girl is 14months and I thought she was early for this kind of behaviour.
I'm a SAHM, but the treatment isn't any better. I do think though that because the other people are around her more during the day, that you're getting a taste of what the school years are gonna be like.
She could be learning this behaviour from the babysitter. Or that she regards the babysitter as the primary and she doesn't have to listen to you.
But I wouldn't take the word of the babysitter on the fact that she is "fine all day"...if she's throwing tantrums with you, she's doing it with them too.
The only advice I can think of is Action/Reaction. Time-outs. That's what I'm doing with my little girl. She throws herself backwards at any point, she is swiftly removed from what she's doing and I dont' return her til she's calm again. For example, she's just learning how to walk and wants to walk everywhere. But if we need to walk a certain direction and she tries to vere off, i grasp her hand a little firmer and tell her she needs to come with me. As soon as she throws herself backwards, there's no more walking. I pick her up and put her back in the stroller. Eventually she's gonna learn that she can walk if she wants to, but the way mommy is going, not where she wants to---especially if it's in a crowded store!
Good luck!

Try time out. She is not too young to discipline. You have to get a handle on her now or she will keep running over you. She probably wants your attention so try positive reinforcement when she listens to you. Also you should ignore her tantrums. She knows that she will get your attention when she has one. She is using your guilt of leaving her all day against you.

I have a 16 month old who started the same way. I had to learn that she is not the one in charge. If she throws a fit because you took something away, ignore it and don't even look at her. She is throwing the tantrum to get your attention and she knows it has worked in the past. Take control and be firm and don't give in or react because that is what she wants. It works for her so she does it. My little one throws herself back also, I just make sure she doesn't hurt herself on the way down and leave her. Make sure to give her lots of praise when she is doing well playing nice or if she gives up something w/o a fight! This has been working on mine and believe me, I know it is hard to ignore a screaming, kicking and completely (in your mind) unreasonable baby. There are sometimes when I just have to sit back, take a deep breath and say to myself, "She is only a baby, she doesn't understand why she does this either.". Unfortunately, she isn't old enough to punish with time-outs because she wouldn't understand. Taking your attention away from her is the best thing you could do. Good luck and keep your chin up, it will get easier as you gain back control.

You already got some good advice but I wanted to add a little tip that I am sure you have already thought of.
My girl did the same thing, sometimes if she were standing, she would fall straight back. I have ceramic tile in my kitchen and I made sure I removed her from that room if I needed to take something away or discipline her. You don't know how many near misses I had when she would throw herself back near that floor so just make sure she's not in areas where she could hurt herself.

As I was reading this I wondered who knew my story!
You have to be firm. I am an advocate of discipline but kids (especially smart girls)go through it. Practice patience but know when to discipline and when to just breathe. Be sure to ask your mother because when my daughter started throwing tantrums at 8 or 9 months! my mother said I did it to her.
Karma is a LADY!