Last night I had to try to defuse an irate neighbor who refused to leave my fenced in yard, belittled and threatened me. I work in education and have had classes, upon classes on how to deal with difficult people. Losing my professional licenses/certifications are not worth situations like this. I used those skills to hold my kewl, and thought she was on something as how crazy she was acting....I would like to know how you would have handled this situation below?
We have so many issues with neighborhood children and the lack of supervision, and on many occasions have had to try to hold it together as my house windows were broken out with rocks, fencing broken, children up until 3/4 am (none of these parents work/sleep all day and I have to be at work at 5am) privacy fence was set on fire, little children (in diapers) wandering around trying to get into people yards (including those who have pools) and just the other day one of the children throw a firecracker into my neighbors pickup truck and set it on fire. Every day it is something different. I am always at work and not able to see what is going on, mind my own business, and hardly ever say anything to these children as they do not listen or care.
I finally caught one neighborhood child trying to climb my privacy fence to get into my back yard (corner lot house) to retrieve his ball. I have a no trespassing sign and beware of dog sign on all gates/fencing all around. This is not the first time this child has climbed the fence (which he breaks when he climbs over). My dog was out, and I told him to not climb the fence and I would get his ball. Well he ran home and told his aunt that I was mean and would not return his toys, which was not true (see below). His aunt came in my locked yard and pounded on my front door demanding his toys. I was in the back yard looking for the ball as this neighbor became enraged as I did not answer the front door. She would not even let me speak to tell her that I was looking for the toys in the back yard, she keep going on and on about she is so tired of mean people on this block, that I had a mental illness (lol) and she has had nothing but issues since she moved in a year ago (I told her bye). She sat on my front porch (which I just got done fixing the rock holes with cement (she had cement all over her shorts) and refused to move until I retrieved his toys. I asked her nicely to leave and she said no and came up to my face and asked what the problem was (I told her she was the problem). She belittled me with insults, and I just smiled and told her to leave and have a nice night, she was trying to pick a fight with me (not happening). I am working on my black belt in Tai Chi and have a CPL so this situation really could of turned out ugly...
She called the cops and told her to leave my property immediately and they would met her at the corner. Once I explained to the cops what was going on, they were shaking their heads nearly laughing at her because of wasted time. They told the crazy lady that she could be arrested for trespassing and threats and she quickly left.
Turns out the child lied again and I was looking for the wrong toys, instead of a ball, it was green nerf bullets I was supposed to be looking for not a ball (my yard has nothing but flowers and trees so it took me awhile to find them) I tossed them over the fence (as I always do if I find toys that my dogs does not help himself too).
I am working on my black belt in Tai Chi and have a CPL so this situation really could of turned out ugly...
How you would have handled this situation?
I do own my home, almost 20 years. That is one of the problems in this neighborhood, you cannot sell and if you do move, you will have to rent out you home. I live on a dead end street and we have 32 homes, out of 32 homes 26 are rentals (not counting the one a lady was murdering in...no one wants to live in that home) with nothing but bad children/non working-caring adults.
My son is looking into installing a wireless security system.
Another issue is Detroit police/city do not care about residents or increasing the work force, no funding available. It took the cops over and hour and a half to just come when this crazy lady called, and I am surprised they showed at all.
I did have an issue with someone claiming my dog bit them and tried to sue me, did not work out as no evidence was provided and these people just wanting insurance money. But my dog did seriously hurt another little dog who somehow entered my yard, in turn they sued my home owners insurance agency and won.
Wow I would not have engaged with this person at all. I would have walked in my house, locked the door and called the police to report a trespasser.
And if I EVER saw unsupervised babies running around outside I would also call the police, or CPS!
Sounds like a lot of unnecessary drama to me. Why even go there? Go inside and ignore other peoples' crazy. If she won't leave your property call the cops and let them deal with it.
As soon as she started ranting, I would have closed the door and called the police. And in the future, if I saw a child in a diaper wandering around a neighborhood without a parent, I would also call the police immediately.
This area you live in sounds terrible. I wouldn't stay. Anytime you have a kid in diapers walking around unsupervised or kids out until 3 or 4 is not a place I would want to call home.
What would I do? If this neighbor came to my door again, I would be the one calling the police and stating that she is trespassing.
Other than moving not sure what else you can do to ensure your safety with minimal property damage. I would move.
This really kills it that you added on that the situation could have turned out ugly.
You right fit in to this neighborhood with this attitude!
This all is about a missing toy and a lying child. Even if this woman was erratic it's not a place to practice your skills even you said it out loud just to feel strong.
Moving out is best. If this is not an option than cameras can help and an alarm system. Visiting a lawyer and have him writing a letter to this woman if needed.
Hope things will work out in a long term.
However, I would have called the police in front of her and told her the police will talk to her and possibly she can pick up the toy at the police station when she has calmed down.
BooBoo - this isn't difficult people. This is CRAZY!! MOVE!!
Sweet mother of God - why would you be in a neighborhood like that? Put your dog, yourself and your family in that situation on a 24 hour basis?
Get your house ready for sale and move.
Keep your gun on you. You have the right to protect yourself from crazies like that. Call the police and let them deal with her. Tell her you are armed. Tell her you are calling the police and to stay back.
To answer your question? I wouldn't have been so nice. I would have called the police the first instance she threatened me. But I wouldn't live in a neighborhood like that either.
I honestly would MOVE. Do you own this house? I sure hope you're renting.
You ask what I would do. I would talk to a lawyer about kids climbing over your fence and what your liability is. I would ask what can be done to keep from getting sued, including possibly the lawyer sending a letter threatening legal action if they trespass on your property. I would absolutely be out there every day checking to see if anything was thrown in your yard and bring it into the house so that it's not out there for him to retrieve, at the very least. Stop throwing his stuff over the fence. He will stop throwing it over when he doesn't get them back. You are making him feel entitled to climb over your fence because he knows that either you'll throw it back or he'll get it himself.
I would never answer the door when these people show up. Ever. I would not have one single conversation with them, unless it's through your lawyer or the police. And truthfully, the moment she sets foot on your property, you should be calling the police so that there is a running record of her harassing you. The more they have her on file, the less they will put up with her.
There are people who look at being nice as an excuse to rip you one side to another. This family does that to you. NO more being nice. Don't engage. At all, except through the lawyer. No more giving back what ends up in your yard. Period. If the kid climbs the fence, call the cops and complain about trespassing.
I don't know how high your fence is, but perhaps you might want to build a higher one on that side of the yard that is harder for the kid to climb.
In the future, call the police as soon as you see someone on your property who should not be there, child or adult. Do not engage unless they enter your home and you truly feel threatened. (Save your Tai Chi and your guns for a very important occasion.)
As you know from studying martial arts, there are always several steps to take when it comes to defense before sh*t hits the fan. It sounds like things have already gone past the usual self-taken steps to deescalate a neighborhood situation.
The one thing your aggressive neighbor did right is calling the police. Should this happen again where if someone will not leave your yard when verbally told to do so once, you make the call. If you have a cell phone, program in the non-emergency number so you can speed dial it when appropriate.
Make sure you're reporting property damage when it happens too. If little ones appear to be in danger then talk to CPS, which will keep your anonymity. I wouldn't be surprised if some of the households were already under watch.
I am so sorry that you have to deal with this kind of thing where you live.
Call 911. Get the police to deal with it. You don't have to go all Mr. Miyagi on them.
Sounds like you need to move to a better neighborhood. That doesn't sound like a peaceful place.
How would I have handled it? Not the same as you. If you are trespassing on my property and I've asked and told you to leave? It's not gonna be pretty. I would have called the police for a trespasser and kept them on the phone as I got my gun out. I don't make idle threats. You don't come on MY property and threaten me. And to all those on the left who are panicking reading this? I'm a conceal carry. I don't brandish my gun unless my safety and that of my family is at risk.
Any way, I'd move. That's not the kind of neighborhood I want to live in. Then again, I probably wouldn't be living in Detroit any way. Sorry.
I would write a registered letter, return receipt, and inform the mother that your dog is a guard dog and trained to attack anyone that enters your yard. That you have signs posted stating this. That her child has entered your backyard and each time they do they are risking their life. If the child will knock on your front door you would be glad to go back and look, at your convenience, for said toy item and then toss it back over the fence. But main point being that her child could be killed for entering your yard.
On one hand, you've posted signs. YOU know your dog could injure other people. YOU are liable for what that dog does. You might speak to an attorney about this situation because, from what I've seen on the news, IF you know your animal is a threat to others and others are hurt by your animal you can be held liable if your dog hurts someone, even in your own backyard.
I would not live where you live. It sounds like a slum lord area. People who live like you said above aren't good, steady, parents. They sound like really bad parents who don't care.
I would give notice, if you're renting, and move as soon as I could.
If you purchased this house you could put up several signs that say no trespassing and that violators will be prosecuted or something.
Then I might go as far as putting barbed wire/razor wire along the top of my fence to keep the neighborhood kids out and then I'd do something like tall shrubs around the perimeter of my front yard and put a gate across the driveway. I'd barricade my property.
Don't engage, call 911 if there are threats.
Curious . . . how did the aunt get into your "locked yard?"
I guess I would first install cameras. Catching the little buggers doing damage is probably the first order of business. Second, make sure that you videotape with your phone when you catch someone doing something like scaling your fence or coming on your property without permission. Videotape BOTH sides - your asking the person to leave and the person refusing to leave. Additionally, I would be filing small claims papers in the local court for damages done to any property that you have witnessed or that you have on video tape. Finally, I would be videotaping any children that appear to be wandering around unsupervised and forwarding those tape to CPS.
Good luck - I personally would be looking to move, but I don't know your circumstances so perhaps that is not an option. I know it wouldn't be for us.
I would have called the cops when she pounded on my door.
I'd also think about getting (renting?) a guard dog who would bite anyone's behind that came onto my property.
Probably not do-able.
But get a motion detector sprinkler so it hoses down who ever comes into your yard.
I'd have to think about starting a policy of:
if it comes onto my property - consider it gone.
And/or fine them for illegal dumping.
They need to take care to quit throwing things into your yard in the first place.
There's no reasoning with crazy neighbors - keep your distance and keep the law(cops/lawyer) on hand.
Do what you can to put the fear of God into them so they stay away from you.
Also get a book (it's a great read and I think every home owner should have a copy):
https://www.amazon.com/Neighbor-Law-Fences-Trees-Boundari...
Moving away is the best idea yet.
