Dealing with a Nonstop Talker

Updated on July 28, 2012
J.F. asks from Milledgeville, GA
22 answers

Anyone else have a school-age child that never stops talking? From the time he wakes up to the time he goes to bed, my 6-year-old is chattering away, asking questions, singing, cracking jokes, etc. Most of the time, I don't mind, but there are times when my ears feel like they're about to start bleeding! I'm a quiet person by nature, and really can't handle hours of talking nonstop. He doesn't have attention span issues (he can focus like a laser when he wants to) - he just loves the sound of his own voice!

What are your strategies for dealing with a kid like this? I don't want to discourage his curiosity or make him feel as though he can't tell me things, but now and then I just need a break. Sometimes I tell him that my ears are full and need a short while to empty out, and that works pretty well, but I would love to have a couple other things in my bag of tricks.

Thanks!

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E.E.

answers from Denver on

My middle son does this...I have no tricks that work (I have tried many things). He's 4.

It's funny because he needed speech therapy and now....he won't stop!
I try to tell myself that one day I will miss him waking me up at 2 am to ask "Mommy, what are shoulders for?"

7 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from San Francisco on

Haha! Yes, I have two of them! (No, I have no idea where they got their chatterbox tendencies from! LOLOL)

I say, "I need you to go do something else away from me now. You're driving me nuts." And they do.

3 moms found this helpful

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H.W.

answers from San Francisco on

Yes!!! (mine is 4) she does.not.stop. Ever. I want her to feel respected...most of the time the things she is saying have meaning to her, and I love some of the stuff she comes up with, her thought process in amazing and interesting...up to the point just before my ears start bleeding!! She will talk just to hear her own voice too...often it goes like this: "mommy...?" Me: (slightly exasperated) "Yesss?" Her: "I love you..." sweet- but this exact conversation can repeat itself 12 times in just as many minutes...I look forward to reading responses for a soloution...but I suspect there is none other than naps, bedtime, and wine! Cheers!

3 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Redding on

Duck tape comes in really cute colors now :)

Play the ducktape game... it works well.

3 moms found this helpful

A.M.

answers from Kansas City on

omilord, mine is the same way. and he will be 6 in september. my mom and little brother cracked up a couple weeks ago, they had him for a 3 hour road trip. they said they were just looking at each other cracking up, he talked to himself, sang, made shooting noises, had "conversations" with his toys, or talked to them, the ENTIRE way lol.

i admit i use the tv sometimes. not often, but it DOES keep him quiet. other times, i will send him to his room to play and he can chatter to his heart's content. it helps because i can still keep an "ear" on what he's doing but it is SOOO much less intrusive. and yes, i have been known to say, "honey i love you so much but i just really need quiet right now." i have also been known to lost patience and tell him (AND his father) "I AM FLOSSING, MOUTHWASHING, AND BRUSHING - I "WILL" HAVE FIVE MINUTES TO MYSELF PLEASE!!" lol. i do think it's important they (6 year old boys AND husbands) realize that the earth does not ALWAYS revolve around them lol....

you're right not to discourage it, i think. i always talk to him when i can, ask him about his feelings, what he did that day, how he liked this or that. i was amazed that he actually really opened up to me the other day about his fears about starting kindergarten. he sounded like he'd been in a session with dr. phil, talking about how he was nervous about not knowing anyone, afraid that he wouldn't be able to behave and get sent to the principal's office, etc. he was SO articulate! that moment made it all worth it. if we can teach our little boys to communicate effectively, can you imagine what amazing men they'll become! hang in there mama!

2 moms found this helpful
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D.T.

answers from Muncie on

Oh thank you! My daughter can go one and on and on...even when I've asked her to go play in the other room she wanders off still chattering! I love how she's so bright and wants to share EVERYTHING with me, but sometimes enough is enough.

2 moms found this helpful

J.W.

answers from St. Louis on

When my kids are in a chatty mood I say a lot of uh huh.....eventually they catch me but that still buys me some time. :)

2 moms found this helpful
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A.G.

answers from Houston on

Awww, what a happy boy!

lol Elyse! What ARE shoulders for????

2 moms found this helpful

L.A.

answers from Austin on

Ah yes, I had one of those, not sure where she got this habit from, oh yeah, me!

I finally told her, "you know what? Sometimes, eople do not have to talk all of the time. It is just nice to be with each other, but just quietly, without any talk."

Worked like charm. When she started school, I always reminded her, "in school, you need to listen to the teacher. Try not to talk while she is speaking. And remember not to talk to the other kids while they are listening. The teacher will tell you when it is ok to talk."

2 moms found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

When my son was younger, he was speech delayed and had to have speech therapy.
Now, he is the MOST talkative one in our family. And he has an advanced vocabulary for his age, and is very verbally astute and can express and explain.... his feelings and ideas, very well. Sometimes the vocabulary he uses and the way he puts forth his ideas, just blows me away. And he is only 5.
I am proud of him. It is a strength of his.
And his Teachers often say he is the "Leader" of the class. And gets along with others, very well.

Sure, it may be irksome sometimes. So I just tell him "Son, could you not talk for like 10 minutes, Mommy is concentrating on something." Fine. No big deal.
But we never scold him about his talking so much.

I rather have a kid, that can talk and express himself well, than a kid that never tells me anything.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.Y.

answers from Chicago on

yes I also have a chatter box on my hands...most times don't mind it...but when the questions keep coming at me non-stop in a car ride it drives me crazy. So I start firing his questions back at him...what do you think....hmmm what's your answer, etc. He eventually gets tired of asking questions. If we are in the car and he is driving me nuts....I will just say mommy needs a music break...no talking please - and turn up the music....he usally respects that. Good luck.

1 mom found this helpful

A.D.

answers from Alexandria on

Mine does that... except he's only 4. But still it's non stop. I tell him every once in a while, that it's time for quiet time.

LOL so now if he comes up to me and I'm sitting and doing something quietly (which is rare), he will ask me 'Mommy is it quiet time or loud time'

Silly little man.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.R.

answers from Seattle on

Yes, my son was born this way too. He is funny, bright, happy, loves to read and loves to tell stories.

So last night, he was describing something the new blurbs at the end of movies nowadays, and how they used to be a prequel to the next movie, but that The Dark Knight did not have, which of course I know this as I took him to that movie, so I thought he had made his point and I returned my attention to the word search puzzle I was working on with my daughter, and he says to me, but I don't hear it, "So I guess your not listening anymore?"

And I reflexively say, "Hm, hm." And they both burst out laughing and I don't know what its about. Because I honestly did not hear him, they had to fill me in.

I told my son a long time ago that he should really consider being a DJ in high school and college with a future in talk radio.

I don't have any advice that works, only that I do say a lot of Ohs, and Ahs, and Hmmms, through out the day and don't listen to every detail. I do know to listen when it's important. Otherwise, it's pretty much in one ear and out the other.

My son also had his own Ipod about your sons age. So he can listen to a lot of great music we uploaded and that seems to buy me some quiet time.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.K.

answers from Phoenix on

.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.T.

answers from New York on

My kids aren't like this but my niece was and I didn't have kids yet when my sister and her husband were going a bit crazy. But their main thing was they didn't want her to grow up to be one of those people who never stops talking. So I think you can look at it as a behaviour thing to a certain degree. They told her "you have to be quiet and listen sometimes." Or "people don't want to talk all the time." They were pretty matter of fact about it. Have to say now she's a teen and she's not going on and on all the time so either what they did worked or she grew out of it.

1 mom found this helpful

M.D.

answers from Dallas on

I don't have any kids like that of my own, but know kids like that... actually I was really surprise when you said you don't talk, my friend who does talk all the time, has kids that talk all the time too, I thought it was genetics... I was shy growing up, but now that I'm an adult, I tell my students when they come in if they need to be some where soon, let me know, because I'll be telling all kinds of stories...

Enjoy it, because during teenage years, boys usually don't talk that much to mommy anymore, so I'm finding out...

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Portland on

My 2.5 year old does this all the time! Especially if I am in traffic and have to concentrate! Drives me crazy. I am looking for good ideas because I certainly need them! I can't wait to see what other answers you get.

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D.J.

answers from Atlanta on

I didnt read any of the other nswers but..I sympathize with you because my 8 yr old is the exact same way! She is a people person and will talk anyone to death! She start up conversations with everybody! If you are standing near her, (adult or child) she will talk to you. Sh's always askiing questons, telling me tolook at things, etc. etc. etc. I find myself justsaying, "uh huh" most of the time. When really I have no idea what she is talking about. Ad she is very loud and because of her, the other kids are loud! When she go to sleep the entire house is so peaceful. And I too am a soft spoken quiet person. We are complete opposite. You should enjoy this while you can. Because (trust me) they dont stay little for long. When she become a teen, she will be a diffeent child. Caught up in herself, friends and technology. Then you will wish that she wa that same little talkative girl. Days pass by like seconds. Embrace and make the best out of it.

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B.

answers from Augusta on

I just say " can you please stop talking just for five minutes , I can't think and really need to right now"

yep I'm that direct with them, mine are 7 and 10 . They do understand.

T.C.

answers from Austin on

I remind my son to talk further away from his dad(instead of standing between dad and the tv). Or if my son is talking right next to me, I will mute the tv and read the captions (Allows a different part of my brain to focus?) Sometimes when he's getting ready for bed I take the time to write down the creative stories he tells me.

My son(age 10) is quieter when he's watching tv, listening to music (especially with headphones) or reading a book. When he was getting in trouble for making noises at school, one thing they tried was giving him a chewy necklace as a substitute. My husband does something similar with a talkative person he works with- he gives him a lollipop to get a few minutes of quiet.
My son narrates whatever he is doing (now i'm clicking on the red button in this game), asks for feedback all the time (what's your favorite part of my game?) and is noisier when he's sleepy or needs to go to the bathroom but doesn't know it yet. He loves testing how things sound different in a small space, a large room, or through a hose. Sometimes the noises my son makes are like nervous habits and he doesn't realize that he's doing it. He was getting sent to the office frequently for disrupting the class until he started taking ADHD meds. I can tell when the medicine is working- it's like his volume is suddenly turned down.

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D.N.

answers from Chicago on

My 13 yr old gets like that. But he talks about military and science facts taht make your head swim. I sometimes feel guilty but ahve to tell him enough. I can only take some much knowledge. Sometimes he will pout about it but he says he understands. The boy is a sponge when it comes to facts.

My 4 yr old is constantly on the go. From 10 am to midnight, she is like the energizer bunny (we have odd schedules in our home). Sometimes wish I could find that battery and take it out for an hour.

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M.D.

answers from Pittsburgh on

My daughter now 9 has been like that since she learned to speak. It's like once she learned how to talk, sing, hum etc. that is all she likes to do. I am absolutely flattered that she wants to share every thought that enters her brain, but I get it you need a break. I have not found any real solutions, but being honest once in a while does help. I like the "my ears are full" I may borrow that one. Some times I just say "honey, you are talking a LOT today. How about we have some quiet time for a while?" She is usually okay with this and not discouraged in the least. A little while later, her normal resumes. I had posted a similar question to this when she was younger and one of my posted comments was "perhaps they will grow up to be negotiators, lawyers, speech writers etc. where all the talking they are doing now will come in handy." Good Luck

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