Daycare - Teacher Being Disrespectful According to My Daughter

I wouldn't pull my child out after one incident haven't we ALL slipped at one time we don't know what the whole story is(what kind of day teacher was having maybe stress at home not feeling well) I am NOT excusing it at all.Do you have postive things about this teacher most of the time. I would go into the confrence with the attitude of I totally understand how stressful a day can be and we all make mistakes I would like your assurance that this was a one time slip and that you will NOT be usuing this language with the children in the future. You could also ask your daughter was this the first or only time she has ever said a bad word?? Just make sure it wasn't a one time thing before you start pulling kids I feel everyone is human and if we all had our own kids taken out of our home for a onetime bad choice I think the foster system would be in trouble. Good luck!! Also, I say believe your daughter and instill in her now that she can come to you with ANY concern of an out of line adult.

Hi B.:
I especially like the response from Michelle B.You know your daughter better than anyone.Because you and dad have always stressed the importance of using proper language,I seriously doubt,that your daughter made up the incident.Whats troubling,is,this teacher subjected your daughter to consequences,by failing to be honest herself.In other words,because the teacher lied,it makes your daughter appear less believable,and if you were prone to believe only the adult,(wno obviously knows better than to lie)Your daughter could have been wrongfully punished for this situation.That would anger me more.There are some parents out there who rule with an (iron fist) and would have given her A SPANKING or forced SOAP IN HER MOUTH for lieing.I'd handle it calmly,but I'd let her know,that refering to any child as (stupid) no matter how frustrated you may get,is not acceptable,and you consider it abusive. She'll watch herself after this,but if there's another incident I'd pull your daughter out. I can tell you first hand,there are some teachers out there, who have absolutely no business working with children. I wish you and your darlin daughter the best.

Have you had other problems with this teacher or is this the first offense? Has she done a good job with your child in the past? Are other parents happy with her or have there been problems with her in the past? If it is the first time there has been an issue with her, I'd say tread lightly. As you have experienced yourself, it is easy to make a slip regardless of how committed you are. As another mom already said, you don't know what the teacher was experiencing that day or what is happening in her life. It is possible that she is a good teacher, made a slip, and is trying to cover her mistake to protect herself. Lying to cover the mistake is the biggest issue here, but she may feel like she is in jeopardy over one mistake. In her job, one mistake is glaring while she may do everything else right. When you talk to her, don't attack or accuse. Just making it clear that you communicate with your child should be enough to start. If there continues to be an issue, deal with it when you know for certain that it is a real problem. As far as saying that bad behavior shouldn't be tolerated in a Christian school, the bible teaches that we will all fall short at times and that we are to confront in a loving manner and forgive. If the transgression is continuous, it is further dealt with.
Best of Luck,
L.

I don't know why you seem like you don't want to believe your daughter. I don't buy the teacher's explanation. A teacher should not ever say that or any such thing in the presence of a child. During your conference, I would either request to have another teacher teach my child (switch her to a different class) or tell them that you are pulling her out of the school and find a different school or homeschool her. If they are doing things like that, no telling what else is going on that you don't know about. Believe your child. That would be a hard thing, to be talking about something major and know your parents don't believe you. Crushing to the child. Best of luck to you.

I have to agree with Michelle B. Be calm, be patient and be the bigger person. Don't go into it accusing her of wrong, but just explain that you believe your child heard something inappropriate, and whether it was from her or another student you want to make sure that it is handled and not left untouched. She may have gotten caught in a moment of stress and acted out, like our toddler kids often do and was hoping that no one would hear of it. You don't have to make her feel small or stupid herself, just let her know you're an involved parent who talks to their child about her day and you want to make sure that day is a productive and healthy one.

Good Luck!

Hi B.,

Yes, kids make things up, but you mention you asked your daughter several times and her story is the same. Most often, a repeated story will change if it is ficticious.

With that said, Mrs. Fran may have slipped and said something that she shouldn't have...so did you. From what I understand, hubby just mentioned to you that it was inappropriate and I think you understood that and will use more caution. As well, you initially didn't think it was so bad, but hubby pointed out or showed you that it was not acceptable in front of the kids. Mrs. Fran will probably deny it and further may possibly think you are over reacting to this...just be prepared.

I am pretty sure, as well, Mrs. Fran will use more caution as well, whether she said it or not. If you haven't already went to your conference, I would just go in with a non-convictional method and explain that you want to be sure such language is used "by anyone" in the classroom because such words may hinder the self confidence of young children. There are a lot worse things out there and if this has been a good source of child care for you child, then I would let it go/move forward.

My child was not fed at 7 months, only given bottles of milk for an entire day. After discussing with them and not feeling that they took it serious, I removed her and contacted the city.

Please don't get me wrong, language and attitude is important, but I think you have already made your point with the school.

We all make mistakes and say things that we shouldn't in front of our kids just as you admitted to have done. I can see why this would alarm you being that it was said by a teacher. I would not make acquisations in your meeting however discuss what bothered you, whether it was said or not. This gets your opinion heard and I am sure that Ms. Fran will be much more careful to not "slip up" in the future. If this is the only time that this has happened I would not blow it up into a big deal since it is something that nearly all of us are guilty of. Also, since you have no idea what could have led her to say stupid, I would give her the benefit of the doubt. Having confronted the issue both the director and the teacher will know that your child is communicating with you about what happens in her classroom. Its always good to clear the air.

i would tell the lady that such language shouldnt be said infront of the children. i would make it clear that if your daughter keeps complaining that you are talking like that to her or the class then you will remove your child and place her somewhere else. that talk shouldnt be used around children especially in a religious type preschool. good luck!

What a surprise that the teacher denied it, OFCOURSE!!!
"Blame the child whenever possible."
My daughters kindergarten teacher has numerous times denied doing/saying things my daughter has come home to tell me.
I figured since the teacher does not want to communicate with me, I took it to the principal. Not that much has changed, but now at least the teacher knows I don't just take whatever she says/does lightly.
However calling children Stupid, I have to say is beyond what you expect from a teacher. I mean, she choose this profession and must have known what comes with it (you'd hope). Calling a child stupid for not paying attention, much more than just a slip. Don't let this go unnoticed.
Stand your ground - your child is not making this up. (Why would she????)

I have grappled with this with my children in the past. But in a different light. I have taught them that stupid is not a "bad" word. Neither is "dumn" "idiot" and all the other words that parents drill as "bad." These words are part of our English language. It's HOW THEY ARE USED that is the important lesson to teach. Calling someone stupid or an idiot or other derogatory names is what is bad, not the actual word. Cuss or Swear words should be defined as bad. ALL adults slip up from time to time. Frustration, exasperation, sleep deprivation...being human sometimes brings out the worst in us. The poor teacher is probaby embarressed by her slip up and thus denies saying it, or maybe she is not even aware that she said it. Maybe using the word and putting her fingers to her lips to hush the children were not related.
Let it go.