Daycare Issue - Lubbock,TX

Updated on October 21, 2010
B.L. asks from Lubbock, TX
14 answers

OK moms ... I have a 15 year old and a 14 month old, so it has been a long time since i have had to use a daycare. Well I tried a daycare by my job yesterday. WIth this daycare so close to the job a lot of my coworkers have used or are using this daycare and all had good things to say about the daycare. I took my 14mo in to visit and walk around to see how his reaction and so it would not be such a new environment for him when he got there. THe employee that helped us seemed very nice and caring and me and his dad were ok with this choice. Plus I could check in on him throughout the day because it was so close to work. OK so we go to take him yesterday. We told her like 4 times he is 14 months old and just turned 14 months last week. He is a big boy and is mistaken as a 2 year old ALL THE TIME but he still is a 14 month old even though he is big. We asked her to keep him in the group with the kids his age because she kept saying she wanted to put him with kids his size. OK ..... well when i went to pick him up he totally broke down and balled his eyes out (and that is not my son at all) ... he did not want his dad to hold him at all (and that is not normal at all) plus he had scratches on his face & did not eat. He was out of his norm for the rest of the day. NOw i know it was a new experience but i remember when i took my daughter to day care and the 1st day i picked her up she did not
act this way and I am not taking him back there because he was definitely traumatized yesterday ... OH YEAH ... i snuck down to see him (they had a big window where you can see inside) and there were only 2 workers to about 14-16 kiddos and those workers were not involved with the kids at all - they were talking amongst themselves and i did not like that ... i really just wanted to vent and hear yalls opinion. I am not taking him back and going to try another one until i find one that makes him happy and he is
comfortable. I know it was 1 day but I just dont feel that is the daycare for him.... Thanks!

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So What Happened?

THanks MOM for all the responses...I dropped my lil one today at a in home daycare today and it was totally different than last week... he was smiling today when i dropped him off and was off to the races playing and having fun with the other kids. So we are very happy with this daycare and I am glad that I listened to my instincts and my son's emotions/actions - :) i am a happy mom!! :):) thanks again guys!

Featured Answers

E.C.

answers from Dallas on

He needs to be with his age group which is 12-18 months. the ratio for that age group is 1 teacher to 5 kids or 2 teachers to 13 kids. This is the TEXAS LICENSING STATE RATIO if they are over the 13 they are not abiding by the rules and i would not send my kid there are what other rules are they breaking??? and they need to be reported if so.

---- I was an Asst Director as well as run a babysitting service now

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P.H.

answers from Dallas on

Trust your "mommy instinct" and don't feel a bit guilty for doing so!

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T.C.

answers from Minneapolis on

I say do what you feel is best. Every kids is different and handles things differently. Maybe he would be better in an in home daycare where he only has one person who he sees everyday. My son goes to a great inhome daycare and he started it right before he turned one and we never had a problem with it. He didnt get upset or act different or anything. I know each kid handles things in thier own way and it may take him a while no matter where you go, but with an inhome daycare they seem to be more comforting to the child and it may not be as overwhelming as a center is. I hope you find one that works for your son!

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N.B.

answers from Toledo on

I think you jumped to conclusions. I would give him at least a week to settle in. You really don't know why he was upset. He could just have been overwhelmed with emotion when he saw you both, and that's all he knows how to do to express himself. If the other moms you work with like it, I would give them another chance. Maybe you could check on him a few extra times to see how he's doing throughout the day, and if you're still not happy, change.

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K.C.

answers from Dallas on

Only you know your son...I went through the same heartbreaking experience with my son and had to pull him out of the daycare center after 1 day of being completely ignored. If staying home with him or only working part time is not an option for you I suggest you look into a christian based daycare or MDO I feel they are more loving and caring towards the children. Good Luck

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

Honestly, chances are he's going to be overwhelmed anywhere you take him. If he's never been in daycare before, it's a big change. I think you should give him some time to adjust to any new situation. Did you ask why he had scratches on his face? And when you stopped into observe, you don't really know what had happened before that. Perhaps the teachers were chatting about what to do next. Or maybe they were trying to get organized for snack. There's a million different reasons why they could have been talking. In cases like that, it's all about context.
Nobody is going to look out for or take care of your son the way you do. They have a lot of kids to take care of and they aren't solely focused on him. I absolutely adore my babysitter, but she does a lot of things that I would never in a million years do. It doesn't hurt my child, it's just that she does things differently.
Just keep in mind that this is a new experience for you and your son. Perhaps you could address the concerns directly with the teachers and see what their answers are. I don't know that I would pull the plug on it just yet.
A better option might be an in home daycare. They usually have more time to spend with each individual child.

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G.A.

answers from Dallas on

Depends on your situation of where you are but I have one opening in my home day care. My youngest is 18 mos and small. My older two one turns 5 this weekend and one is 4. I have two 2 yr olds and they all play most of the time well together. They do play independently and we also have group time, they love a little tv as well. I used to not let them watch tv but was told by the parents they learn a lot so they get some time there. You may have just caught them at a time the kids were ineracting which the need to do to solve problems on their own.. I rarely put kids in time out any more as they just know and get along. We had hitting stages and they quit. I got a new baby and the two yr olds kept knocking her down and I realized there was some jealousy there. As when I was playing with them they all want my lap and the one 2 yr old got between the baby and me so she got the attention. The children now have learned to love and include the baby and not knock her down. At the time they were doing that she was not walking. I only have one opening. So I can pick and chose and it probably is not a big deal if he did not eat as things are new. But just like parents in a room of adults we do not know I know I can get shy. It does take time. I take the new ones under my wing because I want them to not be scared. my e-mail is ____@____.com and web is oddhoursdaycare.com G. W

K.M.

answers from Chicago on

The one thing I have always disliked about day cares is that they often want to put my son with the kids that are a year older then him, he is 4 but wears size 7 boys clothes and 11.5 boys shoes on average. They want to put him with the 5 yr olds due to size and the durability but my son has some other needs and right now is almost "text book 3" and I do mean ALMOST he still tests for around 18-24 months in some areas and in a few closer to 36 months, but then nearly 5 in problem solving. I will be starting day care again in a few months and a "deal breaker" will be where they are willing to start him. Yes, he is 4 and built like a 5yr old but I want him started with the 3yr olds and then slowly intergrate him into the older room if he is successful. The first day care and I LOVED IT (bright horizons) was the BEST we only do not go there anymore b/c work paid for 60% of the cost and we paid only 220/month for day care for my son!!! Regularly their cost is 220/wk. He was 12mo when he started and it took them 2 months before they moved him up and it was a 6 week process to slowly move him started out eating lunch with them ... then playing for 30 or so min before lunch and then eating with them ... each week they added another activity that he did with the 1yr olds instead of time spent in the infant room it was great all were happy and well adjusted. This is what I am looking for again.

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L.S.

answers from Tyler on

Hey B. -
I 100% feel your pain. I really struggled with finding the right daycare for my firstborn. I'm not going to go into all the problems I had with daycares, but one of the problems I had was what you are experiencing with the 14-16 kids and two adults not interacting with the kids. Also, I had a SUPER large boy as well and I had him put in class with his peer age group (which was appropriate, but he was easily 6" taller than the other kids). However, he was not agile at all and all of the other kids his same age could actually move around better than he could. Anyway, here are some tips/ideas I have for you:

1. Be clear about what the classroom ratio is (students/teacher). I had my son in a daycare where the ratio was 5/1 for infants. However, first thing in the morning, they combined infants and toddlers until they had enough workers in the building. The toddlers ran around in the room and actually stumbled over and fell onto the infants (this made my head explode). They also stole pacifiers and generally just picked on the infants. My son was 4 months old at the time and I eventually was able to move him to a daycare were the ratio was still 5/1, but they NEVER combined classrooms.

2. Be clear on what you saw when you dropped in to observe your son. I know when I visit my child's daycare class (currently 2, almost 3 years old), the kids are oftened in structured/supervised play. But, they are also often in free play where the teacher does sit over to the side and watches them play on their own (this might have been what you observed). However, my daycare does not combine classes during the day except at recess time. Then, the teachers can chat together, but most of the time, the teachers are on their own with the kids.

3. Your son is on the cusp of being at a really great age to enjoy daycare. But honestly, I think 12 - 18 months is a difficult age to enjoy daycare because they don't "play with others" and they can't really get all the one on one time that they want from an adult.

4. We have been at the current daycare for 5 years (my son and now my daughter). But, over the years I have definitely seen things I didn't like and I sat down and talked to the director about each of those things. On the flip side, I have also seen lots of things that I DID like and I have written them thank you notes about it. My take from this is - daycare requires a lot of interaction between you and the directors. You might want to first consider talking to the director before you pull you son from this daycare. See what her response is. I pulled my son from the one where the toddlers were trampling on the babies because the director basically just shrugged her shoulder and told me it was only for about an hour in the mornings.

Good luck!
L.

M.D.

answers from Dallas on

Go with your gut, you will feel guilty if you don't listen to it... Secondly, I was in a situation similar, I had to put my youngest (9 year gap between his older brother) into daycare when he as about the age of your son. It was horrible experience for him, I could tell you horror stories from the week he was in. My youngest personallity is very shy-and I would consider him asocial even at that age (he's 4 now). He was always taken care of by his father at home, do to circumstances at the time I had to put him in daycare. I ended up finding a lady who was like a grandma type, who took care of kids in her house, she only has 5 kids. I felt so good with him there. He was very clingy even when I had him with her, but he was a little bit better. Like I said his personality is very antisocial, I'm very scared about pre-school he's starting next month. However, he needs to feel a little more comfortable around kids and my son has a bit of a speech delay so I'm hoping that will help him a bit.
I totally understand the stress this causes, I hope you find a good place for your son!

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Well, starting daycare is hard for most kids, so not acting like himself is something I would expect for some time to come, probably with any daycare situation you choose. Also the ratio for "waddlers" 12-14 month olds is 7 to 2, so 14 kids to two employees seems normal as well (check you state licensing laws to be sure).

Now what I would be concerned with is the missing interaction between teachers and kids you have observed and that is seems that you were not given an incident report or at least and explanation about the scratches on his face...

In the end it's probably best to go with your gut and start looking for other arrangements. Good luck!

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S.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I say go with your gut instinct. I put my son into a daycare when he was around 6 months old and the place was clean and organized but he cried HARD whenever I picked him up and always looked like he had been crying all day. Plus, the teachers seemed to not care and I never saw them holding him. I asked how often do they hold the kids and the one teacher said they're not allowed to hold any one of them for too long b/c they don't want to show favortism!! Crazy! So I called other daycares and they're like, "um that's not normal". so after a month of this (I was giving it a month to see if it was an adjustment issue), I did some more research and moved him into another daycare that got awesome reviews. We had initially turned it down b/c it seemed more chaotic and messy in this daycare than that clean, organized one we picked but we found out its chaotic and messy b/c the kids are all doted on and allowed to be kids. my son is always DIRTY when we pick him up -- food and dirt (from playing outside) on his clothes and hair but he's SMILING and so happy to be there! he literally adjusted within one week. ONE WEEK. he was still crying after a month at the other place. plus, more often than not, i found him in the arms of a teacher when i came to pick him up (this was in the infant room -- now he's in the toddler room and running around). plus, there does seem to be some warning signs -- too few teachers and why in the world would they want to put him in a room with kids his SIZE and not his AGE?! that's craziness. i say go w/ ur instinct and find another daycare. best of luck!

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R.A.

answers from New York on

you cant judge your child or the teachers from the first day.I took my child ,he is 2 years 6 months ,when I went to pick him up the first day,he looked so sad and quiet,and he jumped when he saw me.I was concerned,but I wanted to give it time.He cried lot for the next following 3 weeks when I dropped him off.now he doesnt cry no more,and he start talking,and doing all kind of staff that for sure he learne from daycare.see for yourself you have 2 kids and you feel overwelmed sometimes,imagine at daycare how many kids with few teachers,its hard.also,remenber kids fall at all time no matter how much you watch them.just be patient your kid will improve.

A.S.

answers from Detroit on

I checked out a couple of daycares in my area and one was cleaner looking but I didn't like the 'vibe' I got being there. And the one we chose was clean but cluttered (like my house) but I got a way better 'vibe' and my son LOVES it! If you got the wrong feeling then, I say go with your gut. I don't know if Kindercare is just Michigan or throughout the country, but that's where we chose.

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