Daycare - Bellmore,NY

Updated on January 04, 2011
A.F. asks from Bellmore, NY
10 answers

I am considering getting a job and that means I need to find a good daycare for my twenty-one month old daughter. I am a little worried about putting her in daycare because no one has ever baby sat her except family or a friend. My daughter is also extremely attached to me. When I take her to a mothers' group, I cannot leave the room to leave her with other mothers so I can socialize a little. I have to stay with her while she plays. So I know it will be difficult to put her in daycare at first.

Just looking for some advice on how to choose a daycare and how to go about leaving her in one. I know there is no easy answer to this. Even if I stay with her a few days to ease her in, eventually I will have to leave her all day. But if I want to work I have no one to take care of her all day. The only other option is to ask a good friend to babysit but she charges per hour and maybe it's not a good idea to mix business with pleasure.

Thanks for the tips!

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answers from Washington DC on

Check online for the regulations in your area for licensed day care providers and be sure your chosen provider is licensed by the county or state or whoever does licensing in your area. Check to see if a caregiver has any outstanding complaints against him or her -- I believe you can get information about that from the licensing authority.

Listen to the mom who said, go with your gut. You should visit each daycare and they should be happy to let you go anywhere in the facility -- if they seem reluctant to let you see everything, that's a red flag. If they discourage parents from dropping by unannounced, that's a big red flag; any daycare should be fine with parents coming by unannounced at any time.

Also, be sure that the caregivers are not just parking kids in front of a TV for chunks of the day, or at all. A friend didn't realize for quite a while that her kid was spending much of each afternoon just watching cartoons at the day care provider's house -- not, in my opinion, a good use of anyone's time, and indicative of lazy caregiving.

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answers from Chicago on

Make sure you do alot of research on the daycare before you put your daughter in. I know someone who works in a daycare and just doesn't care for it because it is a dirty place.
I used to find my sitter. I was very hesitant at first because like your daughter, mine was very clingy with me and I knew it would be hard. We found someone who was pretty inexpensive and seemed very nice and caring. It worked well at first. And we kind of becamse friends. But...she started to become the type that dragged my child along on dr appts and errands and would do her chores during the day. I didn't care for it. Then I think she started pushing things on my child that she didn't like. My daughter started to dread going there. make a long story your research if you are going to use a center or in home care! I really prefer the in-home care, just be careful who you choose! I wish I would have done more research.

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answers from Dallas on

Since she's used to a home setting, I'd consider putting her in an in-home daycare. These ladies are usually moms who love watching kids vs. some teenagers who just do it for the sake of having a job.
They usually only watch a few kids and it might make it easier for your daughter to transition.

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answers from Dayton on

When my two oldest were young they had a private sitter. They watched TV all day. When we moved, they went to a daycare. OMG, their little brains soaked up so much. They both started school that year also, but their social skills bloomed so much faster than I thought they would.

When my 3rd was born he went to daycare. For 18 months he always seemed to have a cold. I had my 4th and brought in a nanny. Again, not as much stimulation as I wanted. This past January I put the younger 2 (ages 3 & 2) in a different daycare and it has been amazing for them. (They are now 4 & 3). My 3 year old is in a Pre-School program and my 4 year old is in the Pre-K program offered by the day care. No illnesses because this daycare seems to disinfect more or clean better.

Overall, if you do go with a daycare - make plenty of drop in visits. Just stop by to make sure everything is ok. Your child doesn't need to know that you were there, but just check it out. Talk to the administrator and if they don't have a reference list, stay in the parking lot and talk to the parents coming and going.

There have been days that I left my children at daycare and they cried, but I know that as soon as I was out of their sight they were fine. The other kids will come and make them feel better and get them into the groove. It will take an adjustment, no doubt about that. What if you enrolled her part time for a week or two - just a few hours a day? That could help.

They say it takes a village........ and remember, only you can make the right decision for you.

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answers from Detroit on

Follow your gut instinct. Be sure to check out a few in your area at least. How clean is it? Do the kids seem happy? How many adults do they have in the room? I was so nervous about putting my daughter in a daycare. My husband stayed home with her the 1st year she was born and then got lucky and found a job. I checked out a few of them and found one that was actually next door to a church. She cried at first but now she has gotten used to it. She is 22 months now. We still have some bad days but for the most part she has really adapted better then I thought she would and she is learning things in the process. If you do look into a home daycare be sure they are licensed etc to take care of children otherwise I wouldn't go that route.

Good Luck!

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answers from Denver on

Really pay attention to your gut reaction to the place. Is it clean? Do they have appropriate and low ratios for teachers/kids. Are the kids happy? Is it organized? Are kids left alone in the room? Can you visit at ANY time w/o and appontment? - you should be able to just walk in anytime and be welcome : ) Good luck. It will be an adjustment for you both- but you can always try it and take it as it comes.

*** also I have my kiddos in a Primrose School and love it. I checked the website and they have them in NY. Check it out!

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answers from Saginaw on

In my opinion if you want to work, then just start looking for a daycare that you feel good about. Because regardless at some point your going to have to leave your daughter in someone else's care (when she starts school). And believe me it will be a tough transition for you and your daughter but it will pass. My oldest daughter was watched by her Grandma until she started school, when she finally started she would cry and one day even grabbed onto me while the teacher had to peel her off. But now she is in Kindergarten and didn't have any problems adjusting. She also started a dance class this fall. That which I thought she would never do. It's hard to leave your little one in someone else's care especially when they aren't willing to leave you, but it will be tough no matter what time you choose to do it. So if you want to go back to work, start researching your options. Good luck!

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answers from Lansing on

I was very hesitant about putting my daughter in daycare. I was very lucky to be home with her until she was about 16 months old. I called a few of them and if I didn't like the way they talked on the phone, I wouldn't even check out their home.

I talked to a few friends and my cousin who all have their kids in daycare and asked if they liked theirs. I went with the one my cousin uses. I called her up, talked to her for awhile and then did a 'suprise' visit. My daughter LOVED it there on the suprise visit. She didn't even want to leave. It was hard for me to find a good daycare, because I work 2nd shift. I couldn't have gotten luckier to find the family I found. They love my daughter to peices! has state certified daycare providers. Check that out, and if you do call someone, make sure you do a suprise visit. And don't worry about asking to many questions, because there is no such thing as to many questions when your child is involved.

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answers from Boston on

Honestly, you'll know. I went into one daycare and called my husband crying saying that there was no way that I could possibly go back to work. On paper it looked great - low ratios, clean, open, etc. But I just couldn't imagine leaving my daughter there. I called someplace else from the parking lot to go and check it out. As soon as I walked in I knew I could trust those people with my daughter. All the kids looked happy. Every teacher greeted us personally. I got a tour of the whole center, not just the room that she would be in. But it just "felt right."

Good luck.

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answers from Los Angeles on

Check out a lot of daycares in your area and interview the teachers, check out their safety, cleanliness, etc. You can google things to look out for when visiting daycares. Also, try to just watch for a little bit and see how the teachers behave towards their kids. Are they loving? Talk to them often? Or is it just a job to them? The level of concern and loving attitudes is one of the most important factors and will be especially important in allowing your child to learn to let go of you. Once you've found a daycare, go with your daughter for a few days as she gets used to the new teachers, kids and surroundings. Then gradually lessen your time there (half a day, etc.) until she's there for a full day. She will cry when you leave, that's inevitable, but whats more of a tellatle sign of how she's adjusting is how she is when you return. Does she look like she had fun or like she was crying all day? It should take a few weeks to adjust but after that, she should be doing okay.

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