Day Care Staff

Updated on January 16, 2010
W._. asks from Carlisle, PA
11 answers

Hi Everyone! My son is 3 years old and has went to the same day care for over 2 years....the question I have is; are all day cares unfriendly? I pick my son up and they never say hello to me or good bye to my son...when my husband drops him off...they are just about the same.....they are hot and cold; mainly cold....once in a great while they will be nice......I am really considering pulling him out....he just turned 3 in Dec. they never said happy birthday or gave him a card...he only goes two full days a week; but regardless of the birthday, they could be a little warmer? Is this typical of all day cares? Thanks! W.

PS Am I expecting too much for them to say good bye to my child...they dont have to talk to me, but what about my son? What example is this for the other children?

PS - This is a Church day care...which I guess, I thought churches would be a bit son has a speech delay and I have asked them to communicate with me about his day, which they do write a brief note on his daily slip.

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answers from Philadelphia on

I would look for a more 'academic' type of daycare/preschool--they tend to be a little more professional and may have more experience dealing with his speech delay. They should not be rude to you like that day in, day out--it models poor manners to the children, if nothing else!

More Answers


answers from Allentown on

Hi, W.:

How come your son is in daycare when you are a sahm?

Ask them for what you need:

Use this format:

I feel....(state how you feel).
When I....(Identify the problem).
Because...(say why you feel this way).
And I need...(propose how to resolve it.)


I feel confused, suspicious, angry, frustrated,surprised, shocked,
when I am not talked to, my son is not addressed
by being said hello or good bye to
because I expect friendliness and caring from my son.
I need the staff to respond to me and my son as if they cared about our presence at the school.

This is an example. Fill in your own feelings and thoughts.

Ask your son how he feels about the school before you pull him out.

Good luck. D.



answers from Erie on

prevposter gave a good picture.
my 2 cents. I decided to look for a diff prek program because i didn't like the drive up drop off we had done for the last two years in preschool because i never got to talk to the teachers and durinng parties etc when i was in the room the teachers were polite enough but not really freindly.
we toured a new place, met the teacher enrolled, and then found out that he was only in the adorable prek room with the experienced teacher for 15 mins at the beginning of the day and 15 mins at the end, the rest of the time his group was in a makeshift classroom (ie a curtained off area of the cafeteria) with an assistant teacher, we had never met. THey had over loaded the enrollment because they were phasing out the half day program. At that point it was too late toget back in the program that we had been in, and after meeting with the school and meetingthis new teacher I decided that we would make the best of it.
I guess i just say all of that to vent a little and to say that it's really hard to tell if the grass will be greener, feel free to look around and check out other options in your area, but you almost need to spend a day there to get a real feel. YOu might be better off initiating some conversation with the currant staff, or going to the director and stating how much you appreciate teh director greeting you with a smile, since her staff never does. only slyer that that, sorry i'm not really good at that , and I'm having keyboard trouble.
oh and remember they might not be able to talk if they are caring for other children, reading a story etc.



answers from Philadelphia on

I worked at a daycare for 3 years and we treated every child like they were our own. We were friendly with all the parents and would answer any question you had about your child's day. The only thing I can think of is if a parent was late picking up or had a lot of rules they wanted us to implement that was impossible to follow through, but even then we weren't rude to anyone. The most important thing to look for is if your child is happy when you drop off or pick up, if not, you may want to seek other care.



answers from Pittsburgh on

I wouldnt eat in a restaurant that treated me or my family that way....I would seriously consider a friendlier place.



answers from Harrisburg on

You're going to find varying attitudes at daycares. Is this a center or a home? I'd go with a center over a home. I know that cost is a factor, but I'd find a center that has working cameras in each room where parents come in the lobby and can view the classrooms from there. Online access to the cameras would be a bonus! But yes, you want very friendly staff that makes you feel supported and care about your child. I actually stopped taking my triplets to a local daycare that offered drop in service when space was available so I could have time to myself. They changed the classroom teacher and the person who ran the place and quality went way down! So because of that, and some other reasons, I stopped dropping them off there last year. One big reason because of the staff attitude. When I pick up my child/children I expect them to be able to tell me how the time went, what they ate, if anything, what things they did, played with, etc. If they can't tell me that and treat the child like a number it's just not worth the time or money going there. Yes, daycare is a business, but a business of caring (physically and emotionally) for children. If they can't do that, don't bother.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets
events and chat within 2 hour radius



answers from Oklahoma City on

I have taught preschool at a few "day care" type facilities over the years. I have also spent a lot of my time studying Early Childhood Education and have visited countless centers for research. Your day care center sounds very typical,...meaning it isn't "great" based on unfriendliness, but it isn't "awful" either.

I think a lot of times, day care employees are stressed to the max. Often, they are underpayed and overtasked and they are doing one of the hardest jobs on earth! Young children can create a lot of chaos. If I were you, I'd go out of my way to really make conversation with your child's day care staff. Get to know them. Show an interest in them personally. Ask them questions. If they still don't respond then perhaps there is a bigger problem. They may just be distracted because they're taking care of little ones.

Also, it's good to note how your child reacts to his teachers. Does he seems to enjoy his time there? Does he talk about his teachers and friends? Good childcare is hard to find. It should be one of the most coveted jobs but because of low wages and sub par requirements, I think it's over looked. Good luck!



answers from Pittsburgh on

It does not sound very friendly to me. I have worked in a number of day cares and early learning centers over the years and I always treated children if they were my own. I know I worked there because I wanted to and because it was special to me. It sounds like the people there may not be happy with their job.

But the bottom line is: if you have doubts and you do not feel good with the situation then you should move on. Your subconscious is telling you something and you should listen. Follow your gut!



answers from Huntsville on

Wow, they do sound unfriendly! If you can get him in somewhere else, I'd look into moving him!

Everyone at my daughter's daycare is extremely friendly! They have someone sitting at the front at all times who will say hello on your way in and "have a good day" on your way out. My daughter has gone there all her life, so most of the teachers know us. So they wave in the windows of other rooms when we walk by, say hello when we pass in the hall, ask how we are doing, etc.

Are the teachers very loving with the children in the class? Do they get excited and show emotion about teaching, etc? If they are this cold all day, I wouldn't keep my child there!



answers from Harrisburg on

I am not really fond of centers, so I may not be of any help. I would consider an at home center which can be more family oriented which is sooooo much better. In a family setting, it is just become a part of their family and they as yours. I feel that at the age of 3, and pretty much all of infancy and toddler hood, children can often feel lost in a center, so I soooo recommend a home based.Check it out.
Any questions feel free to ask.



answers from Philadelphia on

Some highschools do child development programs. Maybe you could check and see if yours offers this? All four of my girls went and we loved it. They teach them the basics like shapes and colors. They also do dancing, art...all kinds of neat things.

I would not keep him in daycare. There are so many other programs out there for kids his age. I wish you luck in your search :)

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