Daughters Fighting constantly.................grrrrrrrrrrr

Updated on September 29, 2006
C.W. asks from Port Saint Lucie, FL
9 answers

My two daughters love each other dearly, but are fighting constantly. I don't know if it's because their so close in age being there 7 and 8. I'm having to break up an argument all the time. I am loosing my patience and have run out of ideas. Everything always has to be completly even or fair. Its not easy to balance everything out perfectly between the two of them. Any advice you have, I'll take it. Thank You!

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C.F.

answers from Melbourne on

I have 2 boys who fight like dogs. I think it is because they love one another so much and are so close in age. When things get to out of hand, I seperate them for a few days. Then they tend to appreciate each other more.

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T.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

I don't have much advice for you other than to say that when my four girls fight I seperate them. I try and make each of them play alone for a little while until they calm down.
Mine are ages: 9, 7, 5, and 2 that will be 3 next month.

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C.B.

answers from Jacksonville on

I am going through the same thing. My two daughters are 2years & 1month apart, The 3year old picks the fights, she loves to hit, spit, bite, kick, etc. The oldest Hanna really don't fight back, I don't know if she doesn't because she's older and knows better or if she just doesn't want to hurt her little sister. I encourage not to fight and let them know that they are sisters and they are suppost to love, share, and take up for each other. I don't know what to do anymore.Any body have any answers?

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A.L.

answers from Denver on

I would suggest a book called Sibling Rivalry. You don't have to referee everything- but there are also limits to their fighting. I don't agree with everything in the book, but it's generally a good perspective on how to handle their interaction.

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T.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

C.,

I am also a single mom of four, 1 boy and 3 girls. My girls are all five years apart so they are in different stages in their lives. I learned how to deal with their rivalries through a parenting class. I learn to let them handle most things themselves, teaching them to work out their own problems will help them when they get older and out in the real world. I only have two rules when their fighting, no name calling and no hitting. I also try to get them to see each other's side.

Also, remember that children learn from us as parents. How we react and act with our siblings, friends, and other people. They are watching this daily.

Good Luck,

T.

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K.

answers from Tampa on

My girls went through the same thing at that age. At one point my younger (Ashlynn) hit my older (Samantha). Samantha came down and complained I told her to hit her sister back. Drastic I know but listen. Ashlynn came down and told me Samantha hit her. I told her to hit Samantha back. After a few more trips I called both down and asked them if their arms were hurting. They said yes. I also asked was it very smart to hit your sister? They both agreed that hitting each other was not good. I explained that arguing was the same. It is not smart. They are now 13 and 11, they still have their argumements and petty fights but nothing major.

I guess you just need to show them how stupid fighting over things can be. They will always have fights but as long as you teach them the proper way to work out arguments instead of fighting they will do better in life. Eventually they will grow closer together, apart (teenagers) and closer again. Thats life.

I hope this helps.

K.

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S.C.

answers from Tampa on

I have three who are all 2 years apart. The bickering can be non-stop,especially with the younger two. It has gotten better as they have gotten older.
One of the strategies I have tried (worked well with my oldest) was to show her how to let things go and roll off sometimes. If her little brother really thinks the sky is purple and she knows that its blue, just realize its not worth arguing about. I explained that that's what adults and "mature girls" do. Now she just gets a little smile on her face instead of arguing and she is probably thinking how smart and mature she is and how dumb her brother is:)
Hitting and getting physical is never acceptable and they are severely punished (ie grounding for the older ones and standing in the corner or losing TV time or other privildges, extra chores work wonders too) whenever they get physical, which is rare.
The other thing I do is that when they are getting really bad with the bickering, everyone has to spend one hour alone in his or her own room and are forbidden to play with each other. Also, when they both come to tattle about an arguement I punish both for arguing instead of trying to figure out who is right.

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R.P.

answers from Boca Raton on

Im a single mother of 4 girls. Their ages are 13, 9, 8, and 7. When they fight I sit them down and ask why?..I never side with anyone but when were done talking I make them hug and say they are sorry. It does work for my girls. They are very close to each other. If they gang up on each other I tell them that the one that started it cant talk to the other ones for the day and in a few minutes they come to me and ask if its ok they talk to each other cause they cant stand to be mean to one another. It really breaks there hearts to see one sister sad and alone. Ive been doing the hug thing since my first daughter and my niece..it really worked for me. I wish you luck with your kids fighting.

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D.T.

answers from Lakeland on

Hello I have five girls and they fight all the time I know they love one and other to but the fight is bad some times .

About me Iam 35 and have 8 girlis all five are my and one is my sister little girl I have had for six years now and she is my as of june 15th of this year and I have to stepgirls I have and them for six years to HRS gave them to me at the same time I got the other one . D. 35

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