Daughter's School Sucks! Help

Updated on October 23, 2012
K.M. asks from Silver Spring, MD
13 answers

Ok my daughter is a Sophomore in high school and this school really sucks when it comes to activities etc. When I was in high school homecoming was a big deal. Spirit week was the entire week leading up to Saturday's game. Friday was a pep rally, with lots of performances, friendly competition about which class was the best etc. On Saturday there were floats, made by students, representing each grade and of course each class wanted theirs to be voted the best. A Homecoming dance, with kings and queen for each grade, normally announce at the pep rally.

Not at her school. Yes, there is a game( tomorrow) and a few things to represent spirit week. :( The do have a dance.!

We had yearbooks every year. School pictures taken every year along with lots of random pictures taken during the year to display "student life".

Not at her school. They don't take school pictures and there is no year book :( Have you ever heard of such a thing?

She and some of her friends started a dance team last year and so far it's going pretty good. It took them the good part of the year last year to get approval and a teacher to sponsor them, so you can really call this year the first year the school has a dance team. She and a lot of her team mates want to take this a step further ex competitions.

Sooo my question is how can I help make this stuff happen? I do go to the PTSA meetings, well there has only been one so far this year. Is that the best way to go about it? I'm really shocked and pissed that they don't take pictures. I'm an avid scrapbooker and I'm not going to have much for her high school years! A year book especially senior year is a MUST IMO. I have pictures from every year and my swim team pictures and club pictures. I would really like for her to have the same.

There isn't a band! Gulp! Lol her music teacher seems really excited to get the a band going but I think he is going about it the wrong way. I'm going to set up a meeting with him so that maybe we can work together to get one going. She plays several instruments and would like to be in a band. Yes, I know she probably won't be able to do both, we've decided to cross that bridge later.

I know the kids have to want and participate in these things and she thinks a lot of them will. Apparently they complain to each other about it. I just don't know how to help make it happen.

Oh and how about dance team competitions? Do they exist? Like what they have for cheerleaders? Oh did I mention they don't have a cheerleading squad!!!

Oh and I was thinking of trying to organize some sort of dinner with her team members and their families so we can all get to know each other. What do you think? Is that too forward of me?

TIA!

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So What Happened?

I really don't know why they don't take pictures anymore. When I called they lady didn't know why they didn't and the person handling that type of stuff was out. I do plan to follow up.

Band: Last year her music teacher told us that her predecessor had some sort of break down and stole all the instruments. I don't know how much of that is true. It was her first year teaching music and she was in the process of acquiring new instruments. I know that is very expensive. She left and there is a new teacher this year. Hopefully he stays and I'm sure that is part of the reason they don't have a band. It is my understanding that the other person was there for many years and they had a very good band.

Cheerleaders: They had a team last year and something tells me the reason why there isn't one this year is more myth than truth. My daughter says it's true but I don't know. Something to do with the coach being gay(male), names being called, fights with students. It's like something on Jerry Springer.

I mention my high school years only to say I have good memories, not that I want her force anything on her. My aunt is a photographer and I plan to see if we can get the girls in for a group picture. I just think it would be nice if the whole school could have the opportunity.

I don't plan to make a stink I only want to try and help. I know school funding is the first to get cut, but I'm willing to try and do all I can to help.

Thanks ladies.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Maybe you can take over the PTSA. I'm serious about that. I've seen parents make many things happen at public schools. So if you want it, and have time for it, make it all happen.

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K..

answers from Phoenix on

Well, school is different now. They have no money. Parent have to pay for a lot more. Your memories don't have to be your daughters memories. She will have her own, and they will be just as great as yours.

If you have been that unhappy with it for so long, why haven't you had her change schools?

3 moms found this helpful

J.O.

answers from Boise on

For me the bigger question is....why don't they have these things? I know that you feel they are important, but you feel that way because that is what you had in high school.

When I moved from California, to a small town in Idaho things were done so very, very different then what I was used to. No band, no tall flags, no drill team. Homecoming was not formal, it was jeans and t-shirts, they did have some stuff leading up to it, but not what I was used to. I did worry and wonder about it.

Here's the thing, mine have all graduated and their memories are as great as mine. They are just different then mine. They can't miss out on what they don't have.

I understand that you want to help, but slow down a little.

And yes, there are dance competitions. They usually start within the districts though. If other schools have a dance team that is where you would start.

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R.M.

answers from Cumberland on

I think you sound awesome and have some great ideas and the energy and heart to go with it! Best!

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I.G.

answers from Seattle on

Is this a public school or a private school?

If it is a public school I would take a very good look at their funding before you make a stink. Just about every public school is seriously underfunded and the extracurriculars are the first to go. I mean most schools don't even have adequate funding to provide all of the instructional support they should...

Yearbooks, band, cheerleading... all of that costs money and requires volunteers. Even if you have enough volunteers, which these days that most household require two incomes is rare, you still need to fund all of the other expenses. How much money is your school collecting in donations from parents and community and where does it go?

Good for you for wanting to get involved, just make sure you keep things in perspective given that pretty much all states are stingy when it comes to funding for education.
Good luck.

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J.B.

answers from Boston on

Good for you! These things happen because students, parents and teachers are willing to put in the time, fund raise, etc. My school district's per-pupil spending is in the bottom 10% for our state yet we have competitive sports, music, performing arts and fine arts programs, countless numbers of clubs and organizations, a great newspaper, year book, etc. and most of the financial support for these does NOT come from the district's budget but instead from fees, donations, corporate sponsors, and fund raising.

Obviously you can't do it all, but it sounds like the school is in desperate need of some energy and leadership. I would absolutely organize a get together for the team's families so that you can get to know each other and find out what their goals and resources are. If you can go to a competition but need costumes and transportation, can the other families commit to covering those costs? If they can't, would they be willing to do a fund raiser? Every sport and large activity in my kids' high school has a "Boosters" volunteer parent organization that is in charge of raising money and organizing things like competitions, buying uniforms, etc. They sell items (clothing, water bottles, bags etc.) with team logos and the team gets a share of the profits. Most run some kind of major fund raiser - raffle calendars, collecting donations at Dunkin Donuts or outside a grocery store, canvassing the neighborhood for donations, "flamingo flocking," selling candy, selling holiday wreaths, selling Christmas trees, hosting car washes, renting the students out for leaf raking and yard work, hosting a comedy night, etc. These types of fundraisers provide a solid financial foundation for the organization and help with publicity and community support. Another way to build community support for and interest in something like a dance team would be to have the team perform at a public event - a winter holiday parade or other small town parade, do a small show at a nursing home, etc.

I think you should continue to do what you're doing. Put together a formal boosters organization for the dance team so that you can build a small financial base, get things organized, and make sure the team continues. Maybe if parents see you starting this, more will volunteer to formally step up and help get things going for things like a band, a year book, etc.

FWIW 20 years ago a small group of parents in my town were disappointed that there was very little technology being used in the schools and no budget to support the use of technology in the future. So this small group of parents started a group that is still going strong today. This group has raised and spent over $1M on technology for our school district over 20 years. Every smart board, wireless microphone, mobile computer lab, digital camera or other cool, useful thing used in the classrooms came from this team. What a legacy those first parents left! Sounds like you have a chance to have a real impact on your daughter's school and that helping out will be time and energy well spent.

Again, good for you for participating instead of just sitting back and complaining!

2 moms found this helpful

N.P.

answers from San Francisco on

When money is tight, anything that isn't strict academics gets it in the rear. Sports, extracurricular, music, yearbook, art, clubs etc etc etc

Schools everywhere are suffering.

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

It's hard to tell if it's lack funding or just lack of organization. You are on the right track if you're involved with the PTA. Speak up about what you want to see in terms of activities. You can always take pictures yourself and copy them to the yearbook staff, better yet get on the yearbook committee. When I was in school each extracurricular activity had to have a teacher sponsor, now my teacher did all that after school planning/activities for something like an extra $40/month. IF that is still the case, I don't blame the lack of teacher participation. Do ask how activities are coordinated within the scope of school district rules/policies. good luck.

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C.B.

answers from San Francisco on

They probably don't take pics because the union contract doesn't say it's part of their job. If it's not sanctioned by the Union, it doesn't happen.

Also, they probably don't have those extra curriculars due to no money in the budget for them.

I think it's a great idea to have a dinner for the team members and their families. It will help bond them together and should be a lot of fun!

You go for it, mama!

1 mom found this helpful

J.S.

answers from Hartford on

Does each class have student officers? You know, class president, vice president, treasurer, and other offices? Does the student body put out a school newspaper? If they could get organized as students and publicize a desire for groups and activities and get teachers to vet them, that might help a lot. They could set up idea boxes around the school and take the serious ideas and then poll students through the newspaper and on the school web site. If there isn't a school web site then maybe the students can start one.

The first year or two there may not be a lot of funds, but the students can run fund raisers and ask for donations and when they see money coming in it will add to their motivation. There are so many things that each group can do to help raise money and start small, then grow.

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S.H.

answers from Richmond on

It doesn't sound like there is a whole lot of parental involvement at this school. I think you should start there. Are you a member of the PTA? You need to drum up support amongst the other parents and make activities happen if you all want them. Be prepared, you might get resistance since this will probably mean an outlay of $ from each parent. Go to schoolboard meetings, contact the superintendent of schools for your area, etc. Find out what funding is available and/or that other local schools are receiving and figure out why this school isn't getting any funding or, if they are, what they are doing with it. Look into an endowment of the arts/music for the band. This is going to be a lot of work. I hope you have the time and commitment. It won't all happen while your daughter is there but, if you are in for the long haul, it will happen. As for school pictures, that seems like a no brainer. Contact one of the big companies that does school photos in your area and ask them to come to your school. It will be $ in their pockets so I'm sure they will be happy to oblige. Parents who want to participate can, those that don't can just send the photos back in. Yearbook - I went to a VERY small high school with no funding for our yearbook. We had a yearbook committee that knocked on doors most of the year - local businesses, etc. We would sell them ads in our yearbook. Parents of seniors frequently purchased ads to write notes to their graduating children. Seniors could pay extra to get whole pages in it. It wasn't super fancy or hardback but we were able to put out a soft cover, black and white year book every year. Oh, and 1 of the teachers who had a nice camera and knew what she was doing took the photos - they were great! We found a local printer to take pity on us and do the job at cost or just above. You should be able to find someplace that might sell the school some cheap, used instruments. Or find out how many kids are interested and see if they are willing to buy the instruments (and potentially donate them to the school upon graduation). I think the photos and yearbook will be easiest so start from there.

R.H.

answers from Houston on

I was ALL with ya until you said that the band teacher was going about it the wrong way--my antennae went up then. Years ago, I took the cheerleaders at a high school because no one wanted it. A mama was over it, but due to laws, a faculty member had to do it for it to exist. I was a new hire and had years of professional dance and cheer experience so my principal twisted my arm. He also told me that I could just be a figure head (get the stipend and credit on my resume') and let mama do the leg work.

Figureheading is not my style. The mama and I butted heads the whole year. Like someone said, do the PTA, but please stay out of te way of what few faculty members are working--even if you do think they are going about it all wrong...

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S.R.

answers from El Paso on

1) There's no extra money for anything anymore.
2) It almost sounds like this is a smaller school to start with? In which case, until someone starts these activities, they just don't exist! The high school I went to, we certainly didn't do floats for homecoming. We did 1 king and 1 queen who were announced on the field during halftime. ADMITTEDLY, my entire high school was a total of about 650 kids, 185 in my graduating class. So we were a small school. Just some thoughts!

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