Daughter Just Misses the 9/1 School Cutoff Date. What to Do?

I am in the same boat as you....but my daughter is only 2 right now so I have a few years to decide.

But I think my decision will be to hold her back....and maybe only for the reason of her being my last child and I want to cherish every last minute with her before she goes to school. Once they start school it is so much harder to do all the fun outings which I love doing with my kids.

My son's birthday is September 1. He is twenty now but forever complains because I put him in so he was the youngest in the class instead of the oldest. Goodness never thought that would happen. Ask her what she thinks. The child is often the best person to consult on these things. If she is anxious to go then go for it.

My daughter misses it by 7 days as well. REALLY annoying. The school she goes to doesn't allow you to decide to move them up--- which I was frustrated with as most of the stuff she was learning in pre-k she already knows. Well, it's a private school and due to an overwhelming amount of pre-k candidates they decided to move my daughter (and a select few others that just miss the date) into Kindergarten. She is doing fabulously. She is no longer bored. However the only issue I seem to have is that some of the kids that are older (like the ones that also miss the cutoff who are going to be 7 in Sept where my daughter will be 6) are sometimes exposing her to older things. I know she'll encounter this no matter what---but there is a bit of a difference between the ages at this age. Otherwise---academically I think it's been wonderful.

I'm sure it depends on your state and/or the school district. I've been on both sides of the issue.

Our son's birthday is August 29th. The school district we lived in at the time's cut off was August 31s. We started him and as one of the other posters said, he was just 4 years old. By the time he was 16-17 (he's now almost 21) all his friends were driving. I can honestly tell you that was the ONLY time it was an issue!

Our daughter missed it, by a month, her birthday is October 1st. Being 4 years younger and wanting 'homework' too like her brother she was more than ready. I called the school district and asked for some sort of an assessment. I was pretty much told, 'too bad, so sad". Granted she was born an old soul, but as an 'older' sophomore (she's now 16) she gets easily frustrated with the goofy, immature boys in her class and really doesn't tolerate the silly girl drama either. And she has continued to be very motivated and driven as she was when she was little wanting spelling words just like Bubba!

I don't think there is a clear answer for any family. You make the best decision you can with the information you have. But once you make the decision and/or it's made for you, don't look back or apologize.

Good Luck.

My daughter's b-day is 9/3 and we pushed to have her bumped up- actually paid for private school since she tested (with them) to advance. I homeschooled her for K and then tested her w/the private school for 1st and went from there. Public school in 2 districts we lived in during those times would not even consider testing, with us paying or otherwise.

Long story short- she is now in 5th grade in public school (this district accepted her since she had done 4+ grades already w/excellent track record,) and while her grades are OUTSTANDING, I never could have imagined what trials it would bring for her to be the youngest in the class at this point. She is not at all ready emotionally for middle school and she is the only one in her class who is not yet hitting puberty and starting to get "into" things like hair, makeup, boys, etc. I fear it will only be worse next year with a new school, class changes, peer pressure, etc.

I was 100% for moving her up when she was little. I felt she would be bored- and I was probably right- but now we are considering homeschooling again or moving her back to private school. She despises being the youngest and complains about it and gets picked on about it quite a bit. I was the oldest in my class growing up, and LOVED it. It meant I was the tallest- but just by a little since genetics come into play here too, obviously, etc. I hit a few bumps myself during puberty, but again, this is also a genetic thing. I think it was far easier for me to the oldest than it is for her to be the youngest.

:/ It's definitely not an easy choice.

I honestly have not seen anything bad about being the oldest in the class. My August 17 year old daughter loves being the oldest. She was the first to get her liscence which means she is not being driven by someone else. (yes they are supposed to wait a year before having someone in the car. But I know from experience they don't always follow the rule) The hard part about this decision is that you can't see into the future and see what it will be like in Jr. High School and High School. You can't tell who will develop early and who will develop late. If you are young in your class and develop late, it's hard. If you are young in your class, you will be
exposed to making decisions about alcohol, drugs, and sex earlier. I think
a year more maturity is a good thing. I think it's better to be older & going
away to college, than younger. Also by the time you get to high school there are kids who were kept back, so there can be a two year or more age span in the same grade. On balance I think it's better to be older. So
far my daughter and my 11 year old son have had no regrets about being older in the class.

You know your child better than anyone else. If you think she is ready then find out what your options are in your area. My son has a July birthday and I had TONS of people telling me to hold him back, that he wouldn't be ready yet, etc. But he was ready. Academically he's at the top of his class, and emotionally he has progressed FAR, far more than he would have by holding him back a year.
That said, there is another little boy in the class that has the same birthday as my son who is NOT ready for school and I'm guessing he will be repeating Kindergarten next year. But even this little guy has made huge strides in progress this year. My personal feeling on this -- with MY KIDS -- was that if I held him back I would be giving him the impression that school and academics weren't important. Also, my parents didn't let me skip a grade in school and I've kinda resented that my whole life. I have a nephew that missed the cutoff by 24 days -- he later skipped a grade because he was doing so well academically.
The point is, this is your child and YOU know if they are ready emotionally. If you think she is, then fight for it.

First thing you need to check is whether you are even allowed to have her test in. In Florida if you miss the cut off you miss it and there are no exceptions. Unless of course you send your kid to a district up north that has a later cut-off date for at least a month then enroll down here as a transfer.

But really 7 days? Not a big deal. If she's ready, she's ready. It all depends on what your district allows.

Another thing to consider, when she starts high school, as a freshman, think about how much older all the boys will be - especially those seniors, and the ones there that waiting a year to start. Some of them will be 19 by the time they graduate, and your daughter will be 14 starting her freshman year......

Now that's a scary thought!

New studies are showing benefits for not starting early.
One thing I wish I had considered is that if they start early, they will be leaving the nest early! So my DS will be out of the house before I am ready for him to go!
Hope this helps.
Victoria

I was always the youngest and loved it, I was always right on the date,

My daughter is TWO days past the date... our state does not allow for testing or exemptions - so I took her to a private school. She's the youngest in her class and is in the top 5. She's having issues with the structuring (as in cannot finish what she starts if that 'class' is over and another one must start) but academically she's doing great.

If you think she's ready - ask around about testing in.

Look up the law in your state or call the school district office to find out what the policy is. Here in Idaho, they could not be tested to start early if their birthday was after December 31. My son's birthday is February 3rd. So I had a different problem. He missed the testing deadline by a month, and the regular deadline by 5 months!

But I knew he was ready, even though he was only 4 1/2. He could read lots of words on his own, and, well, he's just smart, and mature. I felt helpless because the law wouldn't let me do anything about it. At least that made my decision simple, though!

Fast forward 1 year. He started kindergarten at age 5 1/2, and was reading 2nd grade chapter books. He still had fun in kindergarten, because to him it was like a daily playdate with craft time and snacks! But he didn't actually learn much.

Fast forward 1 more year, to Fall 2010. He was so far ahead of his first grade class! He started to get into a little bit of behavioral trouble because he was bored. I was on high alert for this sort of thing, so I took action quickly. I jumped through all sorts of hoops and got him tested, and he skipped first grade. Now he's where I wanted him to be all along! Ugh.

I have a late July birthday, and I started kinder when I had just turned 5. I never knew that I was the youngest in class. I was a smart kid, and knew that my birthday was last, but mostly I was just bummed because I never got to have a class party. That's all I cared about. I graduated from high school when I was still 17, and that's the first time I realized that, whoa, most people are 18 when they do that.

If you feel like she's ready, I would have her tested. What harm could it do? If she doesn't pass the testing, then well, she just got to have a fun outing playing letters and numbers with a nice lady. Usually, they'll tell you that you don't have to make your decision until after the testing, too. So deciding to have her tested doesn't mean you HAVE to start her this year.

Trust your Mommy instincts. You know what your daughter is ready for much better than any school district who just had to draw an arbitrary cut off line.

I waited to enroll both of my kids in Kinder until they were 6. My youngest starts next year and he has a June birthday so he will turn 6 over the Summer. I say this to reassure you that your child will most likely not be the OLDEST in class. My son was just not ready last year and I knew from my daughter that he would be better served being a year older and more mature before he went. I will be setting him up to be a leader in his class and not the one the teacher has to constantly push along. My daughter is Sept 7th and even though our cutoff in California was mid December and intelligence wise she was ready at 5, I still waited with her, she is now in 2nd grade and thriving. Her extra maturity helps her to learn quickly and gives her confidence. She wants to raise her hand to answer questions. I felt like being a full time at home M. I could take that extra year to just enjoy them and let them be a carefree kid one more year. Once they are in school you will be surprised at how much they bring home with them (divorce details, attitudes they tell you about with other kids, mean behaviors they see and sometimes pick up) My advise is just to enjoy this last year with your sweet little girl. One more thing, I was a Sept 23rd kid so I was one of the youngest in my class growing up. I think I caved more to peer pressure, I was only 17 going to College. I was the last to get my license so I was always getting rides with friends and maturity wise I wasn't ready for the boy friend pressure I got to be intimate and when my friends were going all googoo over boys the extra year of self confidence would have helped. I don't think the concern should be so much are they ready now but how will the situation be over the long term.

There is another option. Many great preschools offer a 5 year old program only open to kids that just miss that cut off. My son attended one this year and they called it "transitional kindergarten." It is perfect. He attends four days a week for 3 hours. The first half of the year things were similar to last years 4 year old preschool class with different themes and more focus on writing. Since Christmas, things are more similar to kindergarten. (I taught for years so I am familiar with the kindergarten curriculum.) It is a perfect transition into more academics. Investigate the preschools in your area and see if you can find a program that has this option. Ask for them to tell you how it differs from the four year old preschool. Not all preschools offer this. As a teacher, I have seen many students who were the youngest in the class suffer socially. Please make sure you really consider everything before trying to move her up. Good luck. My kids birthdays are 8/30 and 9/16. We waited with both and were glad we did!

Keep her to yourself for one more year!!! Cherish the time together with her! Both my kids are in school now and I miss those times greatly!
My daughters b-day is 9/24, and she has an older brother. Socially she was ready, but that one extra year at home was better for her. Things come easier for her rather than some of the younger kids having to work a little harder.
Hope this helps....good luck! =)

I would consider the abilities of my child. If you think she would do well, ask the school to be tested/what the alternatives are. Alternately, consider a private school for kindergarten if they'll take her. My stepson was one of the oldest and it didn't seem to matter much. I had a friend who was the youngest (she skipped a year) and she was annoyed when we could do things (like drive) and she was nowhere near that milestone.

My sister's kindergarten teacher suggested she be held back (my parents divorced that year and sis got shy, but she was academically up to speed). My M. met with the principal of the next school (after we moved) and explained it and they tried her out in 1st and she did fine. Never hurts to ask.

I don't know how it is in your state, but in California and Oregon, they are very strict about the cut off dates for kids.
I wish it wasn't like that, really.
My daughter could start kindergarten at 4 in California and she was definitely ready. We transferred to Oregon with my husband's job and my daughter was in school 2 months before they realized she was too young.
They kicked her out. Her academic ability had nothing to do with it. NO exceptions.
I'm a December baby just missing the cut off. Even though I could already read and tested with a very high I.Q., they made me wait an extra year.
In my experience, they are pretty strict with the cut off dates.
Things may be different in IL, I don't know.
Different states have different cut offs. I don't see how a matter of a week should make a year's difference, but if you can't get around it, you can't.
Your child will be okay either way.

Best wishes.

School cut-off dates are somewhat arbitrary. Some states say 9/1, some 10/1 and in NY it's 12/1. If you think she's ready, contact your school district and find out if they have an appeals process- some do, many do not.

In many places you can't access public Kindergarten unless you meet the age criteria, but could enroll in a private school where there is more flexibility and acceptance is based on testing, interviews, etc. After she has done Kindergarten in a private setting, most public schools will allow children to enter 1st grade rather than repeating the curriculum.

Again, every state and every district is different, but it seems worth a phone call!

I think rules are for everyone and that if they aren't then they should not be there in the first place.

That said, it can't possible hurt to persue the possibility of getting her admitted but if they say no then don't feel bad.

When I lived in Indiana, I contacted the principal of the school my daughter would attend and had her tested to skip kindergarten and go right from preshool to first grade. Kindergarten was only half a day and to me that was a waste of time. She's now in the 9th grade and has always done well socially and academically despite being the youngest in her class.

In general I've always felt the older they are when they start school, the better they do.
The exception is when the child needs some special development help where they would benefit from programs offered at school.

Just for fun, here are starting school ages in Europe:

Compulsory age of starting school in European countries, 2002

Age Four: Northern Ireland

Age Five: England, Malta, Netherlands, Scotland, Wales

Age Six: Austria, Belgium, Cyprus, Czech Republic, France, Germany,
Greece, Hungary, Iceland, Republic of Ireland, Italy,
Liechtenstein, Lithuania, Luxembourg, Norway, Portugal,
Slovakia, Slovenia, Spain

Age Seven: Bulgaria, Estonia, Denmark, Finland, Latvia, Poland, Romania,
Sweden

my son began kinder at 4 3/4.. he did really well and continues to do well.
I believe it's an individual thing in that not kids are ready, but YES in fact some are. Also,your child went to preschool (As did mine) and I personally think that does help children more readily acclimate to kinder... I would have NEVER thought to hold my child back in that when I started him in Kinder, I knew that if push came to shove and it didn't work out for some reason and he wasn't ready, then I would simply remove him and start him the following year. If you truly feel your child is ready for Kinder, then by all means pursue this. Additionally, the reverse is true.. my son, although he was the youngest, there were kids who were older and some of them seemed very immature for even Kinder.. hence, it's definitely depends upon the individual.. best of luck

Do you not have a Pre- k program in your area? It a federally funded program and free to you, even day care centers are taking part , to ready children for Kindergarden. Ask around, it's also in public schools here, in Fl. It works out well for children and gives them an idea about what big school will be like and prepares them in advance for school. Early opportunities are wonderful, take advantage, that's why this program is out there. It's part of the 'No child left behind ' program. May be just what you are looking for,.... Good Luck C. S.

Just go with it. I have a son who missed the cut off by four days. I knew that he was ready too. I don't regret him waiting that extra year. He is now eleven, has an A average, does well socially, and is a great kid. The cut off dates are there for a reason. Why would you want her to be one of the youngest?