Daughter Is Scared to Poop in Potty.

Updated on October 29, 2008
L.C. asks from Lake Worth, FL
12 answers

My daughter is almost potty trained. She is dry every night, she doesn't have any pee accidents, but she is scared to poop in the potty. I have to follow her around when I know that she has to go and help her to relax enough to sit on the potty and go. Sometimes this process can take upto 2 hours. I have a newborn and a 6 year old, so I can't spend 2 hours each day helping her with this... She would rather be left alone to go in her room, close the door and go in her undies. I don't know if I should continue to push her with this or if I should just let her have a pull up and privacy to go poop until she gets over it? Any advice? Thanks in advance!

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T.C.

answers from Orlando on

Hi L.,
I went throught that with my son who is now 6yrs old. He was so afraid to go poopy in the potty/toilet that he would fight to hold it in, to the point where he got painful fischers's. After that my husband and I begged and pleaded with him to let it out! and my husband said something that struck a cord with my son, he said "You have to send the boo-boo home to it's family" My son understood the concept of family so he felt that it was his duty to put "it" in the toilet and flush it down to mommy and daddy boo-boo. It changed his outlook from the poopy monster to the poopy family. It's sound silly but, it's worth a try:)
-T.
Still a Cutie P' Tutti

1 mom found this helpful

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M.F.

answers from Tallahassee on

L. - I came up with this story when my middle daughter was about 2 1/2 - she also suffered with constipation.

I asked her if she liked going to parties? She said Yes.

I asked her how she would feel if she wasn't allowed to go to a really big party? She said sad.

I asked her what she thought was at the other end of the toilet? She didn't know.

I told her that there was a big party JUST for Poopie People. They have fun and games and all their favorite foods and they are waiting for their new friends to arrive.
But guess what? She wasn't letting them go because she was holding on to them! That's not fair is it? No she said. SO I asked her to sit on the toilet and see if she could let a new Poopie go to the party. When she finally did one, she was all excited and called me to see. So we both waved good bye to him as she flushed him down. She actually said "Bye Poopies have fun" and closed the lid on him.

Voila! it worked. To this day she doesn't remember that story so it was never an issue later on. Long term memory doesn't fully develop until about 3 years old.

Some children think they are loosing a part of their bodies, and that feels wrong to them. What ever the reason, it was a stressful time for me before the story.

Try it - you can personalize it how ever you want. Make Pooping fun. Tell them not to touch a Poopie as it hurts their skin and stops them from swiming.

Regards

M. F

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V.L.

answers from Orlando on

Memories..Yes my older daughter had the same problem. I also had to make up a story about how her poopy wanted to come out and get flushed down the toilet to be with all the other poopies in the world. I couldn't believe the story worked within 4 days she would go on the toilet, wave bye, and flush it herself. Before the story she could go 5 to 7 days without going. I would have to put a diaper on her just so she would finally go. The Dr. almost did a colonoscopy thinking something was wrong. Thank god she believed the poopy story.

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S.G.

answers from Boca Raton on

Let her see you do it........
: )

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M.B.

answers from Miami on

Hey L.! Good to know we're not alone on this issue! My daughter just turned three and I still can not get her to poop in the potty! I've tried rewards (chocolate kisses, M&M's, toys, stickers) stories about poop and taking the pull-ups away (completely changed her behavior to the devil)! I'm not ready to take them away at night yet because she does not wake up dry and I'm not ready to do tons of laundry or have the potty proof mattress pad for the bed, sooo she'll hold it until then! Now I've put her pull-ups in the bathroom & when she has to go she has to put it on, stay in the bathroom and go! She does not like it, but hopefully she'll soon come to realize it's a lot less work to just sit on the potty! I've been doing this for about two weeks now, I hope'n she'll be a little more willing to sit on the potty soon! Otherwise I do have to suck it up & just take them away all together! Wish I could help you out, but I don't even know how to get my own daughter to go! Good luck! Keep trying what you think will be best fro your daughter and family!

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S.Y.

answers from Ocala on

My daughter was the same way til she was 4. she was actually afraid of the smell of it. like jennifer's case, though it ended up being a constipation issue. if she doesnt like prune juice i gave mine half prune half grape n she didnt know the difference. shell want to go on her own soon. mine got tired of me threatening her with the suppositories any more. hope this helps even a little.
S.

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C.S.

answers from Jacksonville on

Please let me know how it goes. I am in the same boat, I have a new born and a 11 yearold and a 20 yearold also. My liitle girl does the same thing. I feel like I am putting to much pressure on her. Good Luck

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M.C.

answers from Daytona Beach on

Hi L.

I believe I've read this problem before. Try searching this site. I think someone said something about 'separation anxiety" or something like that. Some kids don't like the feeling of the poop leaving their bodies and dropping. hth

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L.K.

answers from Orlando on

My son was also afraid to poop on the potty for a while after he learned to urinate in the toilet. He would say "Mommy, put a diaper on me" when he had to move his bowels. I did this for what does not seem now like very long, and he eventually learned to go on the potty. He was about two and 8 months at this time. (He's 29 now!) You didn't say how old your daughter is, but if she is less than three, I would humor her for a month or two and see if maturation takes care of it. If she's older than three, I would let it go for a week or two at most and then maybe consult your pediatrician. Maybe you'll get better advice from other young mothers. Good Luck, L., and enjoy your three children. I have three also, and the years go much faster than you would believe. L.

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J.B.

answers from Orlando on

My daugther did the same thing. She was pooping in pull-ups till she was 4! It was due to constipation problems though. Once she had a hard, large poopy that hurt to come out, so since then she was scared to let anymore out and just held it in and wouldn't go on the potty, but would go in a pull-up. Just make sure she's not constipated and give her plenty of raisins and prune juice. Her doctor told me to mineral oil in her drinks and that helped a lot. But don't pressure her cause this is one thing that you just can't force them to do. She will do it when she's ready. Hope that helps some.

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J.D.

answers from Orlando on

We just went through this and now my Son has been fully potty trained for about 3 weeks now. Woo-Hoo!!!
He was scared as well. And we did something similar as the other Moms like having a "poopy party" with all of the other poopy under the house.
It's amazing what u talk about as a Mom, isn't it??!!
I would tell him as well that "you got to get the poopy out and it might hurt for a second but it goes away" or "it's gross to poopy in your panties,bottoms..." We also let him pick out his own underpants that were glow in the dark. Good Luck!! You're half-way there!!!

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J.W.

answers from Miami on

My son was afraid of the potty and toilet for the longest time. I had a potty party with all his stuffed animals and we had fun making each one go on the potty (in the living room where he was more comfortable). Since your daughter is comfortable in her room - maybe put the potty in there for a while. Let her sit there and leave her alone for a bit and see what she does. Once she gets the hang of it, it's really easy to transition to the toilet.

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