Daughter Fell and Scrpped Her Face and I'm Getting Dirty Looks

Updated on June 14, 2011
A.S. asks from Dallas, TX
18 answers

My daughter just turned five this weekend and during her birthday party she fell and scraped up a good portion of the left side of her face on the sidewalk. Nothing deep or severely injured but she does look pretty awful. Yesterday we went to the store and everyone that passed by us shot me the most awful looks. The lady at the register even asked how it happened and when my daughter told her she fell down the cashier turned away from us and wouldn't look as me for the rest of the transaction. Maybe I'm just imagining it but it was pretty obvious what was going on in some people's heads. I know there are bad people in the world but do you assume that every child that walks through with a scrape or bruise is being abused? If she were in school I would be afraid to take her. She's five. She's going to get banged up. I know I'm being emotional but I felt bad because almost everyone we walked bu was just flashing dirty looks. Do you ever feel like that in those situations?

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L.A.

answers from Austin on

Anyone that has children knows that a banged up kid, is most likely the reason for the banged up face..

As long as you know the truth, I would not give it another thought..

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S.B.

answers from Denver on

I know how you feel, my 4 y/o girl was playing with her brothers and one jumped up in the air and his KNEE hit her right dead on the eye, split her eyebrow, HUGE knot on her cheekbone and HUGE blackeye! Nice. Wow, everyone gave me the stare down and I had a cashier do the same thing. I could hardly wait for her to get over that incident! Actually, I think it is harder on the kids being constantly asked what happened, poor babies are a bit on the shy side anyway when they are so young.

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L.B.

answers from Biloxi on

When my son was about that age, we were out grocery shopping. I was quietly correcting him, and he screamed "Oh, no, Mommy, please don't beat me. I'll be good". Now I had never laid a hand on him - and Oh, Boy! the looks I got from other shoppers. I was expecting child services to meet at the door on my way out. I was soooo embarrassed.

Ignore the other people. You know what happened. Your daughter knows what happened. And no one else matters.

God Bless

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S.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

i think that sometimes when we let our emotions get the best of us we think that everyone is blaming us for things that we are blaming ourselves for.

if i saw a little girl with a huge scrape i would probably make a face too, but i would NOT be thinking, "omg, that mom beats her kids!"
i WOULD be thinking, "oh no, that poor little girl must have fallen on her face! looks painful!"

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D.B.

answers from Charlotte on

.

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N.G.

answers from Dallas on

My daughter took a soccer cleat in the eye on the first game of the season last year. She had a horrible looking black eye that was swollen shut for two days. Did I get looks? Of course I did- it's a little girl with a huge swollen black eye! I didn't automatically assume that people thought I was abusing my child, though. Kids get hurt. It's a fact of life. I wouldn't be so sensitive about it. Honestly, do you obsess over strangers you see in a grocery store? I don't.

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K.P.

answers from Seattle on

Yes, I know how you feel. Its awful to think that people are looking at you thinking to themselves that you beat your kid.

But its NOT true, so they need to mind their own business. Its rude of them to assume that you did it. Like you said kids, will be kids and it happens. If they have kids then they should know this.

My son fell and hit his head on a coffee table, I felt so bad! Everywhere we went people would stare at the bruise on his poor little head. They would walk by and I would just say, "Kids will be kids" This usually made their dirty looks disappear because they realize they are being ridiculous in assuming that it was under different circumstances that your child's face is hurt.

Dont pay them any mind, just go about your business. People will think what they want to think whether it is the truth or not.

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A..

answers from Kansas City on

No, because I really don't care what others think.

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E.W.

answers from Dallas on

I know how you feel but I think you might be being a little over sensitive too it. My son fell off the counter at the post office a few months ago (set him down for literally one second and he jumped) we ended up having to go to the emergency room because his head seemed a little misshaped to me and I swear every time the nurses/doctors came in I could feel them judging me. I even saw a cop that would walk by the room and I was freaking out thinking they called CPS on me, my husband the whole time kept telling me that he did not feel the same way I felt (that they were judging) and it was in my head. I am sure now that he was probably right but when you feel the least bit of guilt/remorse about something (whether it is valid or not) I think you are more aware (maybe a little over aware).

I would just do my best to ignore it, it is really none of their business especially when you know what the truth is :) Accidents happen

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K.:.

answers from Phoenix on

I don't really think people are looking at her & thinking you hurt her. I think it's human nature to cringe or get a little uncomfy when seeing an injury like that. They probably feel bad for her, or wonder what happened.

I've been there... my DD was in a leg cast at one year old and got a black eye at 2 (both at daycare, don't get me started) & I felt like people were judging me in both instances. In retrospect, I'm sure they weren't.

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J.X.

answers from Los Angeles on

One time at a restaurant I slapped the back of my 18 month's olds hand. She was sitting on my lap in a booth and my angle was all wrong, so I came down in front of her face to do it. But instantly I could tell that the family across the room from us thought i'd hit her on the face. I felt horrible. They stared daggars at me and to this day I've never gotten over the memory of the sick feeling in my stomache this caused me. I know what you must be feeling. It sucks. Now my 10 month old newly mobile baby has had multiple bruises on her face. But, I take her out with confidence. Nothing compairs to the feeling I had about the hand slap. By the way, most abusers don't cause injuries in vissible places like the face.

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S.H.

answers from Killeen on

I know exactly how you feel. When my youngest was 4 my friends son kicked him straight in the eye.....right before our vacation no less. He had a terrible black eye and we got some dirty looks for it as well....some great vacation pics too haha.

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T.K.

answers from Dallas on

screw em.
now, onto more important matters. are you keeping it clean and putting pleanty of neosporin on it? or seen a dr? you don't want her pretty little angel face scarring. maybe put a dressing on it when you go in public so she doesn't feel exposed or whatever.

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P.O.

answers from Harrisburg on

When my son was 1yr old, he got burned in his face messing with an iron he was nosy about. When I walked around everyone asked questions and made me feel like the worst M. ever.

You will always have people thinking the worst because those abusive situations do exist, but try to ignore the stares because you knew what happened. Remember too, some are really concerned by the bruise and may come across judgemental when they really mean to be sympathetic.

Rub some aloe vera on the wound for quick healing without the scars. All the best.

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B.R.

answers from Springfield on

When my daughter was 5 she fell off the back steps onto the brick patio and landed on her face. She had a nasty scrape on her cheek and forehead like the one your daughter got. Not deep but red and painful. We went to a kids fair later that day and the kids there made her so uncomfortable with the stares and questions that she just wanted to go home. The parents were more sympathetic.

To help her heal we used a product I picked up at Whole Foods called Peter Rabbit Organics Spring Garden Intense Therapy Baby Cream. Miracle cream if you ask me. I didn't want her face to scar so we would put this on twice a day. It didn't sting and it smells good so she was ok with it. Her face is perfectly healed. Give it a try.

Now if we could just do something about the bug bites she scratches into craters we'd be doing good. :)

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T.C.

answers from Dallas on

My son was running and fell into a table leg. The corner of the table leg gave him a black/blue eye really bad. No one had touched him. It was totally him. We took him into the ER because we thought he might have broken his nose (which caused the black eye). The doctor acted all nice & friendly, but he asked my daughter what happened. We knew the doctor was checking to see if she'd tell a story different than ours. Though, in his situation, I'm sure he sees abused kids often, so it made sense. But STILL, it's not fun to feel like anyone would think you'd hurt your kid!

When I see kids with wounds on them, I don't ever consider it's the parents! Well, unless there are weird bruises on their arms that look like fingers or something, then I might be suspicious. But our kids have gotten hurt enough that I would imagine the kid hurt himself first before thinking the parent did it. I'm sorry that happened! Not nice.

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K.K.

answers from Dallas on

when my sons was younger he had his share of facial brusies. I got alot of heck from helicopter parents that thinks kids should be in a bubble wrap. Just ignore it.

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P.M.

answers from Portland on

So sorry this happened to your little sweetie. My 5yo grandson took a great deal of skin off his face in a bad driveway fall a few months back. It required a trip to the ER for cleaning and evaluating him for concussion.

You know, in the three weeks it took to heal, if anybody had given me a "look" when I was out and about with him, I would simply have assumed they couldn't endure imagining how much that must have hurt, probably because their own kids had experienced bad owies.

It never crossed my mind that they might be thinking I was an evil or negligent caretaker. And what if they were thinking that? It still wouldn't have been true. That would have been their own "stuff" they were projecting into the situation.

It might be useful to know that we ourselves project those interpretations onto other people's expressions, body language, and tone of voice more often than not. My husband this morning commented that a business associate might not be returning a call because, my husband assumed, "he was probably disgusted with me that this project didn't go well." I pointed out that there was no way to know what the guy was thinking until they talked. So this afternoon, they had chatted, and hubby admits there was no sign of disgust or annoyance in the other guy's voice. But he had been projecting his own disgust and what he didn't know about what could go wrong, and his own sense of failure.

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