Daughter Did Not Get a Single Class Buddy in Her 1St Grade Shuffle

Just relax and stay positive. In a few weeks this will be a non issue, they ALWAYS make new friends, you'll see!

Oh its fine!

My Daughter in Kinder and 1st grade, did not have any buddies in her class either.
So what.
She was FINE.
She made other friends.
It is a good learning process for kids.
They will do fine.
Convey positive things to her about it, so she doesn't get anxious.

My son in Kindergarten knew nobody. He is FINE.

My kids are very feeling types too.
They are fine.
They make other friends.

Schools, cannot 'guarantee' that ALL kids will be in classes with their best buddies nor with a certain Teacher. If not they have to do that for ALL the kids/parents.
It is simply not possible.
It is very hard, to construct the class lists per the entire student body.

.

Relax. My son went to K knowing no O....there wasn't O. kid from nursery OR preschool in his class. It was the same for 1st. Guess what? he's now in 3rd and he knows almost EVERYONE in his grade.

I have a friend that freaked about 2nd b/c it was the first year her son didn't have a 'pal' in his class......

Really sometimes it's a good thing.
Don't project what you think is going to happen to your daughter.
My son was UNphased. I was the O. who was upset.

I would like to share with you that last year, when my younger daughter was in 1st grade, we had to relocate in the middle of the school year to a whole new town. My kids knew NOBODY. They were "the new kids" in a huge public school. I could see on my younger daughter's face how nervous she was. Her little lip was trembling as I walked her to school on the first day at the new school. She tried to be so brave, and my heart just broke for her! I gave her a little pep talk, told her that at her last school, she had had many friends, and just to be herself, tell other kids her name and be friendly, etc etc.

But sure enough, after a few days, she reported that she had friends to play with at recess, and by the end of the year, she had several good friends! Well, our school is year-round and she was moved to a different "track" this year, so once again she was plunked down in a classroom of kids she didn't know. After less than a month of school, she's bringing home notes from friends' moms, asking for play dates, and she proudly claims several other girls as her "BFFs." My point is this - it's GREAT for kids to have to put themselves out there a little bit. It teaches them how to make friends. That's a useful life skill. What are the odds that kids are going to go through their whole academic careers with only one set of kids? At some point, they will meet other kids and will make new friends. Doing so at a young age will help them build confidence for the later years, when making new friends becomes more difficult.

Try to look at this as a blessing, rather than a curse. I think if you maintain a positive attitude about this, your child will pick up on that and will see this as something fun, and an adventure.

I know you're upset, but you can't let your daughter know that. She will take her cues from you. If you act like this a great thing because now she will get an opportunity to get to know kids, rather than being upset, she will also see it as an adventure. By the time the next school year rolls around, she will know ALL the kids in her grade and it won't matter which classroom they put her in. It will just be a short adjustment period and I bet both classrooms have the same recess time so it shouldn't be too h*** o* her.

I'm surprised that they didn't keep her with a buddy... but it does give her the opportunity to make new friends! I'd keep that upbeat attitude about it and be encouraging. She'll be ok!

Just think of all the new friends she will make. She is in 1st grade, kids that age are incredible friend makers! Give her time and try not to overreact.

Your daughter will learn how to make new friends. It is your job and role as her mother to help her do just that with grace and style. I hope your daughter doesn't know how upset you are about her situation because that will only add angst to her situation.

You don't know what her future holds for her and perhaps this is just what she needs for her success. Perhaps her ablitity to make new friends will be a skill she will use for her work life and personal life for a lifetime. She is only in 1st grade. She will be just fine. She has you to help her be just that.

What can you do? Be your daughter's cheerleader. Tell her how wonderful it is that she's got a chance to make so many new friends. She'll see the other kids on the playground. Stop being upset and talking to the principal about this. In the grand scheme of things it's nothing to be upset about and the more of an issue you make it the more your daughter will think something is wrong. Also don't talk about it in front of your daughter or within her ear shot with anyone. Again the more of an issue she thinks it is the worse she'll feel.

Just be very upbeat with your daughter and let her know how exciting it will be to make new friends! You can invite an old friend over for a playdate once a week or so if she wants. Or start inviting her new classmates! It'll all be great once she settles in.

Teach your daughter to make new friends and that's it's okay to start over. She was able to make close friends during kinder... she will during 1st grade as well. The more frustration and stress you show about it, the more she will feel it so just be happy and totally encouraging. I'm sure she is going to be just fine.

Try to relax, being upset will only make her feel scared. She will make new friends, she'll probably adjust a lot better than you think. I remember my best friend was transferred to another school in the 2nd grade, we lived a block from each other, road the bus together, we were never in the same class, but at recess we played together. I was so sad when I found out she wasn't going to the same school (2 different elementary schools and since she didn't have any siblings at our school they moved her to the other because ours was full and then some). She made new friends too but we were still best friends.
My older two kids are only 2 years apart, and it always seemed that my daughter had great teachers so I wanted my son to have the same ones, each year they would have different ones. They turned out to be just as nice or nicer.
This year my youngest is still in pre-school because he wasn't 5 by September 1st, so he has to wait until next year to start kindergarten. Well, he didn't want to go to school because all his friends are gone. Well, the first day, he loved it, and told me he had met a new friend. I asked what the kids name was, and he said, I don't know...
She'll be just fine, tell her she gets to make new friends in her class so she'll have a whole lot more. Try not to think of this as a bad thing, put a positive spin on it...
Hugs going out, it'll be okay momma!

My daughter is in first grade this year, and the same thing happened to her. Her school does not guararantee being in a class with friends. You get what you get, and with 9 first grade classes the odds for her were not good. I'm fine with it though. She will still see her old friends at recess and around the school, they just wont be in the same class. This will allow her to make new friends. She is a social butterfly and makes friends easily so I wasn't too concerned. Instead of thinking of all the negatives, talk up the positives of being in a new class, like making new friends. If you make a big deal out of it, then she will too.

I agree with the others to be your daughter's cheerleader. Starting in K thru 2nd grade, my daughter never had any more than two of the same kids in her class from year to year and usually those two were not friends of hers (boys!) She has made so many friends through those years and can get along with a lot of different kids too. In 3rd grade our neighborhood was rezoned and we got moved to a different school. Almost like moving except we were in the same house. :-) Now when she starts jr. high she will know double the kids b/c she has made new friends at our new school (3rd year to be there). I would try to remain as positive about it as you can. When we got rezoned, I think it was harder on the parents than the kids--they are much more resliant than we give them credit for. Good luck and try not to take it too personally!

I totally understand how you feel, I would feel worried as well. However, I agree with the other two posts, I'm sure that she will make several new friends...1st grade is an easy age for making new friends!!

They did it to us too.
Find out if there is another shy little girl who needs a friend. Make playdates and help her make new friends.
Call her last year's buddies and have them over.
Volunteer in the classroom--that way you can see what is being taught and check out the other little girls she might be friendly with.

I doubt this will affect your daughter's progress during the year. My daughter just started kindergarten 2 1/2 weeks ago. Not a single kid from her preschool is in her class but she already has lots of new friends. Kids make friends so easily at that age. If you're really worried about it then maybe you could get a class directory (check with her teacher) and arrange some play time with a few kids that will be in her class. Try to act like this is not a big deal. If your daughter knows that it bothers you then she will feed off of that and she'll be nervous. If your daughter is truly stressed about making new friends then you could practice with her. Teach her some questions that she could ask other kids to get them talking. Also, let her know what things she could share with other kids too. She could talk about pets, favorite toys, what they did over the summer, favorite movies, etc. Try not to worry. I'm sure she'll be just fine.

If you can't make the switch just be super positvie about the new friends she'll make. She'll be fine and will adjust. Just keep being involved on how her day went. Also, email or talk to her new teacher to see how she copes during the day. That will be a gauge on how your conversation will go after school. Good Luck.

I would just point out the bright side, she gets to make new friends. They will flip flop back and forth all through school so next year will be great cause she will get some old friends back.

Same thing happened to my son even when when we filled the form out asking about teacher personality and any "extras". We put down the names of 4 classmates he'd like to have in his class the next year and, not one of them moved with my son. I expressed my concern with the teacher and principal but after a lengthy meeting and such, my son seems to be settling in fine now. His current teacher is guiding my son at lunch and recess to "look for his friends" which he has and she emailed me just last night to inform me that he played with his buddies at recess including one other boy from his current class. I'm feeling better knowing his teacher is willing to help him understand he can still have his old friends as well as make new ones. I hope your daughter will settle in too, I know it's a tough thing to get thrown into right out of the gate, I was there too this year:)

Same situation with us. She has made new friends. It still bothers me a little that the girls in our neighborhood, the ones that were in her little kindgergarten clique are all together in the other first grade class with out my daughter but , there is always next year. and she is really fine with it. I figure the teachers start with the trouble makers and divide them up and once they get done with that the good kids just get put anywhere to make ti even. i have a good kid what can i say.

That sort of happened with my child too. He does have about 4 boys from his last class but not his real good friends. I told him he will have a chance to make new friends this year and he did already!

set up a playdate with a kid in your daughter's new class. Teach her how to make new friends. Let her know that she can still see and play with her old friends at recess and they can still have playdates. Have you never heard "make new friends but keep the old. one is silver and the other gold????"

Start setting up playdates with the new kids in class!

Same here. The three boys my son was friends with last year are all in another class -- together. I was pretty bummed, but he has already made new friends. I was more upset than he was and now that a couple of weeks have passed, I realize there was nothing to worry about.

What can you do? Get used to it. Your daughter has 10 years ahead of schooling with no guarantees of having her friends in her classes. This could be that there was no room, they needed to balance out girls and boys, this could be an oversight, it could be intentional to allow your daughter to come out of her shell and lessen her dependence on her core group of peers. Who knows but whats done is done, the year is started. Look at it as a positive thing, it will broaden her circle of friends and she will grow so much. Don't worry. And certainly don't transfer your anxiety and anger about this on to your child.

Often the teachers put their recommendations in, but then they go away for the summer and come back and things have changed for whatever reason. So they really can't promise anything and there are no guarantees. Sounds like she said that thought is put into it but never promised you outright 'i will keep your daughter in class with her 3 closest friends!" Nothing to be mad about here, just go with the flow, enjoy the new experience and your daughter will too.