I'm a bit curious... if a GS Leader has their own child in the troop, but have the meetings at a 3rd party's establishment - should the Leader still hold a meeting for all the other children if her own child is sick? Why should 8-10 other girls not have a meeting because one member is sick? Should she not try to get her husband or family member to attempt to watch her one child for not even 2 hours so the rest of the troop can still attend a meeting?
**** It's nice to know that many of you Mothers consider having the Father watch the sick child is unacceptable... even if it's for under 2 hours. LOL ****
***ADDED*** I've known her for 4 years and she's known to be bit of a flake. She'll make plans and break them, or be incapacitated due to self medicating, or can have spates of being passive aggressive. It's not me, it is her. She's lost many friends from the playgroup we were all in due to her past behavior, but I've always given her the benefit of the doubt. She's missed other meeting due to forgetting about it, hasn't bothered to ask for another co-leader in case of emergencies... I've already started the process of being a volunteer and Leader.
I've offered many times to be co-leader or volunteer... but have been rebuffed. It's odd because my child, the Leader's child and one other child I used to be part of a playgroup in and was the preferred babysitter for the group. I'll ask again... see if it's possible. There is a co-leader, but she wasn't able to make this meeting before this happened. I have sent her another email saying I"d be happy to take over the day with a more casual meeting if it was ok with her. We'll see what she says.
No, in person I"m not hard to work with... I guess it must have been skimmed over that while we were part of a large playgroup together, I was the preferred babysitter for the main group of children. I was a Nanny for 3 years during the time I was part of the playgroup. I do very well with children as a group. I was rebuffed because she had her best friend as co-leader, even if neither of them attended multi-troop functions, but I would.
I was told that due to being a Licensed Nurse (means multiple background checks, etc) AND since I was a GS from Daisies until 2nd year Cadet that I automatically was allowed as a volunteer. This was by the head Council Leader for our area. I'm 'safe' to stand in or volunteer... I just do not always have the time since I'm working full time as a Nurse - graveyard shift and have either been going to school as well or , such as now I'm also 7 months pregnant.
seriously? She probably had to stay home and take care of her child. You don't know how many people she contacted to get to watch her child. Perhaps no-one was available. She probably has rebuffed you because you seem to come off as aggressive and lack compassion.
How do you know she didn't attempt to get a sitter? The other girls should have had their meeting, another parent could have led. I would have called the mother, asked her what the plan was for the night, told her to take care of her sick daughter, and then held the meeting myself.
Oh boy, I have many, many years of experience of leading scouts (boys too, but mostly girls) so I have LOTS of opinions on this!
Having three children of my own there have always been last minute issues. I am a troop leader because I believe in scouts and genuinely enjoy working with (most) of the kids and parents.
It is irresponsible for a troop to have only one leader. I mean, yes, maybe there is one person (like me) who does the bulk of the planning and leading meetings, but there should always be at least one trained co-leader to step in if needed. Stuff happens, kids get sick, leaders get sick, cars break down, a family emergency comes up, you name it.
Expecting a leader to find a sitter when she has a sick child is ridiculous. I have always had tremendous support from my parents, they truly appreciate all the time I put into the troop. When things have come up in my life, I was always covered, and if something got cancelled (very rare) it was completely understood.
If you don't have a co-leader someone needs to step up now. Girl Scouts is about working together and delegating the responsibility. It should NEVER fall on one person.
Oh, and next time you can offer to watch her child if it means that much to you. *EDIT* just saw your "what happened" and if you're being rebuffed, I'm sorry to say, there must be a reason, maybe you're seen as being hard to work with? Think on it.
Maybe you could be the co leader and jump in and have the meeting when her child is sick. Her child was sick- that is where she should be. Leave her sick child?
Maybe some one- you?-should step up and help.
best, k
The leader assistant should lead the meeting. I was an assistant leader for 3 years while in high school. I thought it was great fun. If you don't have one I suggest you volunteer for it.
Edit to add: I see that you have tried to help... I find it weird that they keep turning you down. They can have 2 assistant leaders, you will need to go to the "leadership training" that GS offers before you can be an assistant though.
Maybe you could offer to head up the meeting that way your kid won't miss out on her girl scouts meeting. Or better yet, start up your own GS troop.
Perhaps she's trying to tell you something by not taking you up on your offers to help out.
She probably did try and find someone to watch her child. There is no way for certain for you to say or think she didnt. And maybe her child is really sick, and maybe when the child is sick she prefers her mother, which they generally do. Its understandable. And I honestly wouldnt want to leave my child while he was sick anyways.
It's ONE meeting, and sorry to say, she is a mother FIRST and a GS leader SECOND. If my child was sick then I would stay home with him too and not hold the meeting. I would hope the other mothers would have enough compassion to understand that and either A: let someone else do it, or B: not hold it that night and reschedule for a different night.
Also, maybe she has reasons to not let you hold the meeting. Its a possibility. Whether they are personal reasons or whether she just feels that you have too much on your plate to stand in for her. You have said repeatedly that you are a full time nurse, pregnant, and school etc she probably figures you would either be too tired or too busy. Either way its her choice.
Its just one meeting, so just enjoy being home, relax, and not worry about it.
The leader is in a position of authority. No matter if she has kids in the troop or not, she should have the meeting regardless. Its her job and she should take that seriously. Since her child was ill, she should have made alternative arrangements and still had the meeting. Now, if she was the one that was ill, she shouldn't attend the meeting but should find another mother to fill in for the evening!
JMO
M
Is there not another mom who can step up and still do a meeting? I mean even if the girls get together and color and talk that should cover it, right? My daughter did about 2 months of Daisies because it was a waste of time where I live, but I would think another mom could have stepped up IF they were given enough notice and had access to the establishment where the meetings are held.
If all the parents are registered and have gone through the requirements to volunteer with the girls, another parent in the troop could step up and lead the meeting and that "should" happen before the leaders family is inconvenienced further. I think "could" is a better word in this instance. I would hope she only offers this if it isn't as big of an inconvenience to her, and her family to go this far out of their way as it sounds. This certainly isn't a requirement, She's a volunteer, not an employee.
Added: She can't accept your offer to hold the meeting if you haven't gone through the Volunteer screening and are registerd. This MAY be why she isn't taking you up on the offer.
SHES A VOLUNTEER! To the people who say she has to follow through, NO SHE DOESN'T. How entitled and "freeloading" to think she should have to go so far as possibly give up more of her time (vacation day she could spend with husband) just so the troop won't miss ONE meeting. Girl Scouts is what ALL the volunteers make of it (or lack of).
NOONE said it was unacceptable for the husband to watch his child, just that it is unreasonable to expect it. If he can and they want that to happen, great but she and her family in NO way owes you this. Some spouses are not able to leave work without either losing money if they are self employed or using PTO time for this. How do you not understand this?
In my son's cub scouts, if the leader is sick and cannot come, another parent will take over for that meeting. It would be nice to not cancel the meeting if only one child is sick. Then the other kids can still enjoy themselves. I know some groups have two "co-leaders" so that they can share the task and if one person cannot make it, there is no problem.
The leader should make an attempt to have someone watch her child, or she should have a backup person that could fill in for her. (I'm sure she appreciates your offer to help out, however, in order to hold a meeting or any event, the troop must meet all the requirements of safety wise ... someone first aid and cpr certified, the correct ratio of girls to adults, registered, an approved volunteer, etc)
I highly recommend that you contact your local council and get your training so that you could fill in during an emergency. No need to be a co-leader. You may want to start your own troop in the future, or be a co-leader with a different troop.
I just picked my girls up from a weekend camping trip. The leader did not go. The assistant leader went with a mom (who is a nurse). As a registered adult volunteer, I provided transporation.
I think it depends on how sick said child is... but in general, I would at least try to do something... even if it is to find someone to host it...
My mom was a GS leader for many years when I was a kid and it was always 2 (or sometimes 3) leaders. I wasn't a Daisy because there were no Daisies then but as Brownies and Juniors the mom would still come if the daughter was sick (the other leader had kids who were sick all the time). I would think another parent could cover the meeting if the leader had to stay with a sick child.
There is a leader and most of the time a co leader. So if the leader and or the kids are sick, you could have the co leader do the meeting. It would be an obligation that the leader does arrange child care to still have the meeting, but maybe to meet at a park or some where else so her family is not being moved around a sick child . If it is the leader that is sick, it should be the co leaders responsibility to have the meeting. I have only done a troop for 3 years and there is two poeople that run it and my friends also have two leaders in each troop.
I hear you. Is there still time? Could you offer to meet with her and lead the meeting yourself? Is there an assistant leader. When I was a Daisy Leader, I had an assistant. We planned the meetings together, so she really could have done it without me. Just a thought. Sorry, your daughter must be disappointed.
If she won't let you help, start your own troop. There is a waiting list for this age group and you could do a better job. She should have had the meeting and not be so difficult. Believe me, I regret not starting my own troop from the getgo.
I agree that it depends on how sick her kid is. I also agree there should be a back up plan in case something like this happens.
I'm not sure what you mean by "3rd party establishment" so it could be there are logistics to consider.
I can tell you're disappointed, but you know how it is when you have a sick child. It's not always that easy to get someone else to watch them.
Missing one meeting isn't going to hurt anything really, and this brings up the perfect opportunity to make sure there is Plan B at someone else's house or a way to get access to the establishment where the meetings take place.
When I was involved in this, I had a co-leader. Maybe the troop is so new that those types of things just haven't been addressed yet.
i was a leader with 2 co leaders. then the next year i was one of 3 co leaders. the meetings should still happen.
