Dairy Allergy- Concerns over Soy Substitutes

Updated on July 08, 2009
J.R. asks from Reisterstown, MD
16 answers

Hello Moms- My 3 year old son has a dairy allergy and has been on soy milk since he weaned from breastfeeding at 14 months old. We also use a lot of soy-based food (veggie burgers, soy hot dogs, etc.). I recently have been hearing about concerns over soy foods for children and am alarmed at some of the issues I have read about when I did some research. I have decided to remove soy from my kids diets and have switched my 3 year old to almond milk. Unfortunately it doesn't seem to agree with him- it has been causing his stomach to hurt and there is a very mild rash on his stomach which may be related. I'm surprised because he eats almonds and almond butter with no problem. So now I am at a loss for what to do for a milk subsitute (from what I've read rice milk does not offer substantial nutritional benefits like other milks). He doesn't like OJ so I can't even do the calcium enriched juice for him.

So- I am basically worried about him not getting enough calcium and missing out on other important nutrients. He does eat well otherwise, take a calcium supplement and I try to feed him other calcium rich foods (dark greens, almonds, calcium enriched breads, etc) but it still is hard to reach his daily required amount. I'm also thinking that I should just remove all milk substitutes from his diet for right now since there doesn't seem to be a good alternative for him.

Any suggestions from other Moms who have faced the same issue?

Thanks for your help!!!

Some of you are asking about my concerns about soy- these include interference with thyroid function and endocrine biology in small children, also possible links with fertility issues in males and delayed puberty, and a possible connection between soy formula (which my son didn't have) and a greater incidence of diabetes in adult life. I know there is a lot of junk out there on the internet and I'm trying the best I can to sift through what is valid. I know that a lot of cultures have diets that are very rich in soy, but only in the last 30 years or so has it been incorporated in a significant way into the diet of american children- I just don't want to find out 10 years down the road that it was a bad choice for our son. Also FYI- he has always been small (is not even on the charts for weight) and soy protein has been a MAJOR part of his diet, thus my concern. We haven't tried goat's milk but he did have a reaction to goat cheese, so I don't know if that would work. He has a true dairy allergy- not lactose intolerance. Thanks for all of the advice so far!!!

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O.W.

answers from Washington DC on

I use hemp milk (high in calcium, essential fatty acids and more) as well as coconut milk (a drinkable kind in refrigerated carton) now at Whole Foods. It has some good fat and more.

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C.B.

answers from Washington DC on

My 2 year old also has a dairy allergy and I have never given him anything soy either due to the research. I use Rice Dream Enriched Rice Milk. It's enriched so if you compare it to the nutrients in regular milk everything is the same except the fat. My allergist said as long as he drinks about 16 oz of that he is getting the same as if he was drinking regular milk. He doesn't drink that much so I give him a calcium supplement that is like a fruit chew that I buy at Costco. Rice Dream also makes rice ice cream that I buy for him as a treat. As long as you buy the enriched Rice Milk it has what you need in it. I get it at Martin's or Food Lion.

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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

Suz T is right about milk issues. Many allergies are from Paturized milk and now there is ultra pasturized milk that can be on the shelf longer. (the grassfed people call it dead milk becuz it kills all the good stuff) After doing research - my husband who is a personal trainer switched us to raw milk (or to my father who is 83 from the farm - just call it milk)But please do your own research. Go to the Weston A Price foundation website. It is about grass fed meats and dairy. And there is a book out called The Liberation Diet that tells all about the processed food industry and talks about the issues with soy products. You will have to decide once you read these things, as each side of this issue is convinced their research is the correct research and you will have to make the call for your family. I look to my parents for my nutritional example - they are 83 and 79 with no health problems, healthy weights and wonderful mental capacities and they grew up on the diet we just adopted - fresh from the farm, grown or raised locally and unprocessed - our son is almost 4 and he's doing great on it. He's been drinking raw milk and eating other raw dairy since he was 2. Blessings, S.

After reading another post: It's like I said - you will have to do your research and decide for yourself. People are so polarized that not only believe they are right - but they will go so far as to call other's educated opinions ridiculous for being different than theirs. You are right about the soy and what it does to hormones, brain function, developement and onset of some really bad deseases. Stick to your guns and beleive your own research. I will never feed my family soy. Milk doesn't come from a bean.

1 mom found this helpful
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J.F.

answers from Washington DC on

What about making your own almond milk then it doesn't have all the fillers? its just about blending almonds and water? Oh why the need to get calcium through milk anyway what about vegetables? spinach other leeafy greens etc? there are plently of whole food sources that offer more calcium than a glass of milk anyway! soy reactivity is common in dairy intolerant people. My fave list for food issues is on yahoo groups they are really great at helping find hidden sources of foods that may still be causing a reaction and helping you get to basline without any reactions and just awesome and supportive I don't think we could be on our dairy free, soy free, corn free diet with out them and would still be having kids with issues of varying levels! here is the link http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/foodlab/ I actually think its a great group to learn about food for anyone even just curious! good luck i know from experience its not easy!

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G.S.

answers from Washington DC on

I also recommend getting info from PCRM( Physician's Committee for Responsible Medicine). Dr. Neal Barnard has also written a book about nutrition about kids called Healthy Eating for Life for Children. And it has recipes!
There are a lot of misinformation about soy out there. There are many cultures that include a lot of soy products in their diet. I make my own soy milk and I use the okara (pulp) in sauces, loafs, etc. My husband and I both grew up vegetarians at different times of our lives and we always ate a lot of soy products. I have to say though, that veggie meat, etc, should be used in moderation. It is after all, a processed food. We do eat tempeh. My husband likes it in his salads. My daughter likes eats it like chicken nuggets. There is also a study that shows that there is a difference between soy introduced to people while they were children versus adults. If a person started eating soy as an adult, the benefits are not as significant. If they started eating soy as a child, the benefits were greater. I believe it was a comparison between studies done in the U.S. and Britain versus Japan or China.
But I have to say, I do incorporate a variety of beans in our diet so we don't just eat soy products. I sometimes add chickpeas or other grains like barley and oat groats into the milk I make. My 2 yr old also doesn't drink a lot of milk, per se. Maybe 1 cup or less a day. She drinks water and has lots of fresh fruits, veggies and soupy meals. I don't give her juice either. I occasionally give her a calcium/Vit D supplement.

PS: If you're concerned about the effects of soy over a long period, I thought you might be interested in Dan Buettner's book called The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer From the People Who've Lived the Longest. He had a wonderful article in the National Geographic and there was a video to go with it but I can't find it on the internet now and I think you have to purchase the article to read it. But it's about people who live the longest and what they are eating. There's also a website:
http://www.bluezones.com/

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

My sister had a ton of allergies as a kid. She was able to drink goat's milk (fresh from our aunt's farm). I also suggest you try goat's milk. Good luck!

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K.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Have you tried Hemp milk? There are so many different "milks" out there. As others have said about the goat's milk and sheep's milk some kids can tolerate it if they can't have cow's milk. I found that my son was intolerant to goat's milk as well as dairy and we have been giving him rice milk only. He also does not get any dairy in any other forms.

I am not concerned about the calcium because I just don't buy into the idea that our children aren't getting enough unless they drink milk. Calcium is easy to get in vegetables and other whole foods. Children do not need as much as you think. My son is very intelligent and he almost never drank milk even when I bought the organic kind.

He is 4 and can spell his name and other small words and write them, count to 20, he is learning to read, is very perceptive, he can add small numbers and learns things by observing. AND he has done all of this after having a regression and not speaking for a year (regressed at 18 months and came back to us before he turned 3).

I truly believe that diet does make a difference, especially if your child has an allergy or an intolerance to a food or foods. Removing the offending food(s) will help your child flourish and it sounds like you are already giving your child a leg up on the rest of the world by giving lots of whole foods in the form of veggies,nuts and fruits and removing some of the animal products. Children can and will get their nutrition from vegetables, fruits and whole grains alone. There is no need for them to eat meat or cheeses/milk to get protein or calcium.

Relax a bit and if your child is not showing signs of having any developmental or physical issues I would just continue to feed him the healthy non processed foods and don't worry about the "milk". If you are truly concerned then I would ask the doctor to refer you to a nutritionist to make up a plan to make sure he is getting his nutrition. Do NOT take nutrition advice from a Doctor. They get less than 4 hours of nutritional training in their entire schooling to become a doctor and know nothing of proper nutrition, let alone food allergies and intolerances and how to help you.

Keep up the great work Momma and Good luck.

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N.P.

answers from Norfolk on

I couldn't drink cows milk as a child and they put me on goats milk. You can buy it as a powder, can or fresh. If you have a Harris Teeter in your area they sell it or you can order it online. Also, camels milk is very nutrient rich and if you can find it here he may be able to tolerate that as well. I hope this has helped and good luck.

S.T.

answers from Washington DC on

if you can find raw milk, that alone might alleviate his allergies. a lot of dairy allergies are to processed dairy products, not raw ones.
but there are also coconut milk, hemp and wheat as well as soy, rice and almond. make your own for more healthy choices yet.
khairete
S.

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L.M.

answers from Washington DC on

J.,
As a vegan mom to a vegan 13 yr. old since birth I can speak to non dairy issues. I also am a wellness practitioner and am used to dispelling myths about soy,calcium and other nutrition myths.
I concur with others about trying rice milk, and hemp milk. You may also want to try coconut milk. It's amazing in smoothies.
Making your own almond milk is also great.
Look for rice and hemp ice creams in the freezer, the new coconut frozen ice cream treats are great!
We rarely drink soy milk; and try to stick to tempeh, miso and tofu for our soy.
You can also contact PCRM( Physician's Committee for Responsible Medicine) for more detailed scientific info.
Hope this helps.
L. M

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G.F.

answers from Richmond on

What, in particular, are your concerns in regards to using the Soy Milk? If you articulate them, I could have a better response to them.

There is a lot of hype concerning Soy out there, and I would like to dispel some of your fears. Please respond.

I am a Wellness Coach who works in the area of natural, proactive health.

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K.H.

answers from Norfolk on

My Grandson was lactose intolerant and had soy, until we came to live in France. When he was 7, by chance we found that now he can tolerate all dairy products. Perhaps your son is allergic to the growth hormones and other additives given to cows and you should try him on milk that doesn't have them.

When I was a child my friends brother was lactose intolerant and came out is a dreadful itchy rash every time he had dairy. At that time, fifty years ago, we didn't have access to the various substitutes and so he didn't have any. He ate a normal diet that his Jamaican mother prepared without dairy. He grew up to be a strong healthy adult, so perhaps you shouldn't stress over your child having a certain amount of dairy products each day. Perhaps goats milk and cheese may be better for him. If he is within the normal growth levels I wouldn't worry too much.

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S.S.

answers from Washington DC on

Hi J.,

I, too, recommend you try Hemp Milk. You can try Manitoba Harvest Organic Hemp Milk (available at most Whole Food stores) as well as Living Harvest Hemp Milk (not organic). My son is 21 months old and has always had an allergy to cow's milk. I also have serious reservations about feeding him soy (for the same reasons you mentioned), so I don't. He loves the hemp milk and it has essential fatty acids, calcium and protein. I also make his hot cereal with it as well as smoothies (hemp milk and bananas and/or strawberries). He's been drinking hemp milk since he stopped nursing at 18 months (and actually a little sooner because I wanted a smooth transition.)

Regarding soy, you should look for cultured or fermented soy called Tempeh. There are various recipes you can try using Tempeh. It's an acquired taste, but has lots of calcium and other nutrients. Tempeh has been consumed for years with none of the hormonal concerns being raised regarding processed soy.

HTH!

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D.S.

answers from Washington DC on

My daughter has a milk allergy. True milk allergy is an allergy to milk protein. It does not matter if the milk is raw or pasteurized, milk will cause an allergic reaction. (I know you know this!) Lactose intolerance is not the same thing by any means. I hope you are not taking this ridiculous advice to try these milk products. Talk to your allergist first, please, if you are.

Many calcium-enriched products use milk as a base from which to derive the calcium. My daughter reacts to calcium=enriched orange juice for this reason. You really have to be sure that the calcium is from a vegan source.

Much of the hype about soy being bad for you is put out there by the dairy industry. I would highly recommend you get a referral from your pedi to see a registered dietician. Not a nutritionist, who can be completely without education in nutrition, but an actual registered dietician. He or she will be able to offer some guidance about the soy issue and also recommend some good substitutes. I saw an RD and got a thorough evaluation of my daughter's diet, it was extremely helpful. Good luck!

To clarify for those who did not read my original post, it is ridiculous to recommend that someone with a real milk allergy consume milk. A milk allergy means you should avoid all types of milk because you are allergic to milk protein, which occurs in all types of milk. Personally, I have some of the same questions regarding soy, thus the recommendation to see and RD as I did.

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K.K.

answers from Washington DC on

the soy issue is concerning, but don't let it turn you entirely away from soy (and to the other poster who asked, yes, it's mostly the estrogen concern, which is greater in small children than in adult women. also, there has been a lot of discussion recently about genetic engineering in soy production, which you can avoid by buying products that are labeled "no GMIs."). it sounds like your son has a healthy and varied diet that includes plenty of calcium sources. many kids who have cow's milk issues do not have the same issue with goat's milk and/or sheep's milk, so you can experiment with cheeses and yogurts from different animals as well. other than that, maybe cut his soy intake a bit, but don't feel like you have to eliminate it entirely. work closely with your ped (who should be able to refer you to a pediatric nutritionist if you're still concerned), and know that humans are the only animal that consumes the milk of another animal. it's not normal to do so, and it's not necessary. it really does sound like you're doing enough.

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L.R.

answers from Washington DC on

What concerns you about soy? I'd like to know. We eat dairy but also soy products (soy nut butter, veggie burgers, etc.) since we don't eat beef and eat very little of any other meats or poultry. The only concerns about soy I've ever heard were that since it contains "phytoestrogens" (plant-based hormones), women might find that if they eat a LOT, it increases estrogens which can affect breast health - but that concern wasn't for kids. I'd be interested to know what you learned, and the sources -- there's a lot of "medical" information out there on the internet that is well-meaning but incorrect, so sources are important. As for other sources of calcium, if you're doing without any soy, dairy, nut milks etc., you may need to ask your pediatrician if you can give supplements as it can be tough to get adequate calcium from vegetables, breads and nuts alone. For myself, I use a supplement called Adora, available at Whole Foods, which is milk or dark chocolate calcium supplement disks--MUCH tastier than the dreadful-tasting "chocolate chews" supplements (Viactiv). But I'd check the Adora out with your pediatrician first for dosage etc. And if you use the Adora, do hide them from the kids, as they basically are candy, and the kids could easily get into them and gobble too many.

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