Dad Won't Let Toddler Brush Before bed...what to Do

Try easing into a new bedtime routine. Reading books together on the couch or chair every night or a nice warm bath. A two year old really should not be using a bottle anyway. The longer he drinks from one the harder it will be to get rid of it. GOOD LUCK!!

Have Dad talk to the pediatrician. At 2 he should not have a bottle and should be brushing teeth before bed.

I took my son to the dentist at 3 forthe first time (but he never had juice or milk before bed).

My daughter liked doing this too and I had the same concerns. She used a sippy cup though. I switched her to water only at bedtimes.Then you can brush teeth and still give him the drink to help him relax. My daughter was a bit upset fo a couple nights at first but adjusted quickly. She occassionally still asks for milk at bedtime but she knows the rule and my hubby and I don't budge on the issue. Both parents got to be on the same page about it though. Remind hubby of expensive dental bills and that a cavity in a baby tooth could actually get bad enough to effect the permanent teeth.

With my daughter all they did at the appt was count her teeth and introduce her to the chair. :-) Our dentist wanted her to be closer to 3...
Is it possible to switch the milk with water? Kids can get too much milk, so give him milk thru the day, brush after dinner, and top it off with a nice bottle of water or even some real weak mint tea, no sugar... Then the cuddles happen, munchkin gets a nice warm drink, and teeth get brushed...
My hubby has the job of brushing the kids teeth before bed. He brushes his with them... Theres no better way to teach then thru example. He knows they are brushing long enough and getting their mouths "fuzzy" and not just swallowing the bubble gum flavored paste. lol
I want to say thank you for including the fact that you want to RESPECT your hubby! I know thats a big part in a happy marriage. :-)
And although it would be good to brush your guys teeth, I have a bit of a story for you. My family was one of those that the "family hobby farm" ran away with my parents. We saw them about 2 days a week and when we did they were EXHAUSTED. My older sister I were incharge of our younger siblings at the ages of 12 and 10 and so there was no real "adult" to make sure we did things like brush nightly, or even weekly. Years later, all of us still have our teeth... And now I can't sleep with out brushing...
Brushing them during the day and after dinner at the least would help get some of the days accumulations off...

Hi. You could try rubbing his teeth with a warm washcloth, as he is lying in your lap.That will not prevent cavities however. You could put warm water in his bottle rather than milk. I would cal the dentist and see what they say. Maybe they can send you some info on this and then your husband can read it.He may change his mind after that. Good luck

Unfortunately, you should tell your husband what will REALLY ruin the mood, and that's dental caries from not brushing your toddler's teeth before bed! It's so important to begin brushing your child's teeth as soon as they erupt, and especially at nighttime since that's when the mouth isn't producing much saliva to fend off the bad bacteria that causes decay. While it's debatable, (what isn't nowadays?!) children should see a dentist for the first time shortly after their first teeth erupt. That discoloration at his gum line could be decalcification and should be looked at by a dentist to be sure. You're being a great mom by wanting to do what's right and brush your child's teeth at bedtime. While the internet has a lot of information regarding children's dental health, I'd say take your husband to the Pedodontist (children's dentist) with you so that he can get the facts straight from the dentist on the best oral hygiene for your children. I speak from experience: before becoming a stay at home mom I worked in the dental field and never thought I'd have a child with caries. I do everything right, brush 3 times a day, my daughter has never drank anything besides breast milk and water, doesn't eat sugar, and just had her first two caries filled this past Monday. AND she's 16 months old! I found my daughter's caries myself and was told that regardless of her great hygiene, caries still happen, all you can do is try to prevent them. And the stress of a few minutes in the evening is NOTHING compared to the stress of holding your child down while a dentist drills and fills a tooth... GOOD LUCK!

Well if Dad has his way you'll be taking your little one to the dentist sooner than later. If you have your way then the average time for a toddler dental visit is 3-4 years old depending on how well you think your little guy can handle someone counting their teeth and doing a gental cleaning to start off. There are many articles online stating why you should be brushing after milk filled bottles. Also you could have your dentist talk to your husband himself and let him know why his views are not correct in this instance. Yeh I know men hate being wrong but you'll save yourself a lot of mouth problems with your child in future by working this one out ASAP. It will only mess with your childs routine if you make a really big deal out of it. Also you could ween him from the bottle and add the brushing as a fun thing in place of it. Yeh I know the bottle habbit at his age will be a hard one to kick.

Respecting your husband is important, but does he realize the amount of 'sugar' that is in milk and the effect that is can have on your sons teeth if allowed to sit and not be brushed?
Some ideas-
-see if your son will drink a warm bottle with water
-take him to the dentist now, especially if you are seeing abnormal discoloration
-think about a new routine that involves brushing teeth and then a mood relaxer, like a great book accompanied by a backrub (this worked wonders when weaning our oldest off the evening bottle)
-talk about weaning off the bottle and using a sippy cup. He is ready developmentally at 2 to accept a cup.
-ask your husband how his mouth feels in the morning if he has not brushed his teeth before bed
Good Luck!

Aaaaah! I'm screaming because my son lost his 2 front teeth @ 3 y.o. Because he was a bottle baby! You cannot imagine the COST! Our dentist is wonderful, however, my son is 8 and at times we still have trouble! My suggestion is either, brush the teeth OR switch from milk to water!
Otherwise, I hope you have really good insurance!
I cannot stress it enough and too, you had better find a really good dentist whose REALLY good with kids otherwise you will have miserable visits to the dentist office.
Good luck & God bless.

Sounds like now would be a good time to see a dentist. Maybe you could somehow get your hubby to go along. Hearing from a professional would be better than you arguing with him. I've heard it's usually recommended that children see a dentist at three, but some say sooner is better. Good luck!

Brushing before bed is a MUST! Preventing cavities is the key here. Going to bed with a bottle, or having some milk left in his mouth when he sleeps WILL cause cavities.

Tell your husband that he needs to look at the bigger picture.

Show him this from the American Academy of Pediatrics - http://www.aap.org/publiced/BR_ToothDecay.htm:

How can I help my child prevent tooth decay?

Tooth decay develops when a child's teeth and gums are exposed to any liquids or foods other than water for long periods. The most common way this happens is when parents put their children to bed with a bottle of formula, milk, juice, soft drinks, sugar water, or sugared drinks. It can also occur when children are allowed to drink from a sippy cup, suck on a bottle, or breastfeed for long periods during the day or night.

To prevent tooth decay:

- Never put your child to bed with a bottle or food. Not only does this expose your child's teeth to sugars, it can also put your child at risk for ear infections and choking.

- Only give your child a bottle during meals. Do not use a bottle or sippy cup as a pacifier or let your child walk around with or drink from them for long periods.

- Teach your child to drink from a cup as soon as possible. Drinking from a cup is less likely to cause the liquid to collect around the teeth. Also cup cannot be taken to bed.

- If your child must have a bottle or sippy cup for long periods, fill it only with water.
How to clean a child's teeth

Keep your baby's mouth clean by gently brushing the gums and teeth with water and a soft infant toothbrush or gauze. Once your baby has 8 teeth, you can start using a child-sized toothbrush for daily cleanings.

Brush your child's teeth 2 times a day. Start by using a fluoride-free toothpaste. When your child is able to spit and not swallow the toothpaste (usually around 2 to 3 years old), you should continue brushing his or her teeth using a pea-sized amount of fluoride toothpaste.

PLEASE DONT LISTEN TO HIM! Not to be rude but my son had his bottle until he was two. He never took a pacifier or a blanky his bottle was his comfort! Well now he does not have his front teeth and he had 7 cavaties and had all his work done at childrens hospital. I regret not taking that bottle away even if it was a rough few nights! I dont understand how any parent would not brush there children's teeth at night he sounds crazy to me! I have a 5 month daughter and we brush her gums already i will not go through that again to see my son after all of his surgery they had to knock him out i cried!!!! PLEASE again take care of your sons teeth or you will regret it!

We got a book from the library about going to the dentist. She watched me get my teeth cleaned. Then she sat in the chair, and look at her teeth in the mirror and count them w/ the dentist. I also introduced my daughter to the dentist, said he had cleaned my teeth since I was in school, and he was a daddy to 3 boys....
She needed a spot filled she bumped on a chair. I was so happy our dentist has a laser drill (it's loud -"really loud popcorn")
Then you can go home and say Oh but the dentist says. And maybe change the bottle in bed to 1/2 the amount of water.
Good luck, A. H

Respecting your husband should not mean putting your child's health at risk, which is exactly what you are doing if you child is not brushing before bed.

First of all why is a two year old with a bottle of milk? If he can drink out of a cup there is no reason that a child should be given a bottle. I would try slightly warm up a cup of milk and offer that to the child then make it a routine that after the milk you brush your teeth then go to bed. But of course this will only work if you can convince your husband of the problems that it may cause if he is kept on a bottle for an extended amount of time. It is not recommended to take a child to the dentist untill the are about five years old unless there are visable signs of problems. Good luck on trying to convence your husband of the change.

This may sound harsh but if I were in your situation I would show my husband pictures of children suffering from Baby Bottle Rot. This is what happens to baby teeth when sugar sits on them for extended amounts of time (i.e- overnight, night after night)
My husband has a coworker who's 18 month old son was just diagnosed with Baby Bottle Rot. He had to see a pediatric dentist who had to sedate him with laughing gas, put him in a special jacket to hold his arms down and restrict has movement, grind down his front baby teeth, and then put caps on them.
That poor child! That must have been a terrible experience for him.
I know this sounds like a "scare tactic" but it is so important for your child not to sleep with that sugar on his/her teeth.

I would talk to hubby about giving him either warm water or definitely brushing his teeth before bed. Take it from me , brush brush brush. My 5 year old had the equivalent of a root canal this morning. and she brushes. Make sure you get those teeth clean.

I'll take a wild guess here that Dad doesn't brush his teeth before bed, either. I think you should have the pediatrician speak to the Dad. If he's worried about bed time issues, wait until your son has cavities or mouth sores, that's bed time issues. If your husband is insisting on a cup of milk, then brush the child's teeth and read to him. That should settle him down. I'm surprised your son hasn't had an upset stomach from the milk at night.

S., It's tough disagreeing with your husband regarding issues like this. I would suggest a sippy cup about 1 hour before bedtime. Then once time comes replace it with a sippy cup of water. Go and bush his teeth and then send him to bed with a cup of water. My daughter is two and gets thirsty during the night. Well several dentist and doctors have told me and my friends bottles or sippy cups of milk sitting on the teeth over night can actually rot the teeth. So maybe let your husband know that he may want to reconsider letting your son go to bed with milk and that by not brushing before bed could cause a very large denist bill in the long run. Basically he needs to deside if he would rather deal with the new adjustmest for a few days or have your son's teeth decay.

Best of luck!
P.

Hi S., I work for a pediatric dentist, not a general dentist who specializes in children, there is a big difference, 2 1/2 more years of college just to deal with children and their needs. The pediatric dentists want to see your child at one year old. It is mainly to educate parents. Your child will get a knee to knee exam and then the talk is turned to the parent, to help prevent decay. The earlier the parents are educated, the better chances, your child won't need work. And you will build a relationship with your childs dentist, and your child won't have fear, because they already know about going to a dentist. By 3 or 4, it is to late even to save alot of the teeth we see. Bottle rot is real, we see at least two cases a week, to the point that they can't be saved, the teeth are black with decay to the gum line. The white you are seeing, may be plaque, or decal. I would get it checked out right away. Check out the back side of the teeth, they ususally look alot worse than the front. Make sure your husband goes with you when you go to the first appointment, he needs to hear about the damage that can and may have already happened. We do sedations every single day. And most of them would have been prevented by a simple toothbrush. Some kids will get cavities even with the very best oral hygine, but poor hygine, is almost a guarentee. If I can help in anyway, please let me know. But if I were you, I would take your 2 year old to the dentist right away. Good luck:)Sue

My daughter was a little over 2 years old when she gave up her nighttime bottle. To protect her teeth we only allowed her to have water in the bottle. This gave her the comfort she needed without the damaging effects of milk on her teeth at bedtime. It also makes it a little less appealing and he will give it up sooner.

Good luck and stick to your guns mom!

Hello S., Compramise is a good thing in a relationship, and it sounds like both of you are thinking about what's best for your child. Bottle(dad), Teeth(mom), Mellow mood(dad), how about using a finger brush with some great tasting childrens tooth-paste with out disturbing where the setting is taking place.(no bathroom trip, can be done right there in bed.) Talk like it is a good night treat, for being so good and calm at bedtime. Something that your child can look forward to as much as the bottle. It's just a thought for a compramise. After the brushing, if your child still wants the bottle give him/her warm water in it. Hope you find a solution.

Hi, S.

In response to your delema, I am a Dental Hygieist with a 2 and a half year old son who also loves his milk before bed. This is perfectly fine but you are right he should be brushing after his milk and before bed. What we have done is incorperated that into his bedtime retual. After bath he can have his milk then we head to the bathroom for a gummy vitamin (which he loves) then follow with letting him brush his teeth first them it's my turn. I tell him I have to check to make sure all the germs are gone, I pretend I can still see some and I am able to get his teeth brushed without to much trouble. By this age they can understand alot more than we give them credit for you just have to expain why they need to brush their teeth and make it fun!

As for the discoloration you are seeing at the gum line, this is most likely old plaque that is stained. This can be brushed away but will need quit a few swipes with the toothbrush.

Finally I recommend to my patient to bring their child in to the dentist to watch the parent have his/her teeth cleaned first at around 2 and a half. If the child seems responsive and wants to get in the chair, go for it. But we never force. Usually by the next visit the child is ready.

I hope this helps. Fell free to contact me if you have any more questions. ____@____.com
T.

S.,

The worst thing for his teeth is to give him a bottle of milk and then go straight to bed. It will give him many carries and you don't want that. You could try brushing his teeth, then calm him down with a bottle of water. At 2 years old, he should be weening from the bottle anyway, so try just water. This is very important for your toddler's oral health!

If you are seeing discoloration, you should get him in to a dentist to see if there are carries already.

well with him being two he should be off the bottle by now anyhow, he can mess his teeth up and get what is known at bottle rot also. with my two older kids they get sippy cups of water at night. they are 5 and 2.5. they have been going to bed with a cup since about 18 months. i would if you still want him to have the bottle give him the bottle and then brush his teeth and read a book, cuddle or whatever to mellow him back out. but brushing teeth shouldnt' un-mellow him at all! my kids first dental appt has been around 12-18 months old. my youngest son who is 9 mo will be going when he turns one since that will be his big brothers 6 month appt also. but first i would really work on getting the bottle from him first then work on brushing his teeth at night! good luck

I cannot fathom why a parent would be against bedtime brushing!! It's vital...not just a maybe, but a MUST! All I can figure is to gather up all the info you can find to show dad that this isn't just a mood-busting issue, but a health matter. In the meantime, at least brush his teeth before the bottle and maybe ask dad to compromise and give water instead of milk right before bed. This is also going to come up when you potty-train, you know! And regarding the DDS; now is a great time to introduce your child to dental cleanings...they won't do much, but it will be a start!
~L.

First of all, your child's hygeine shouldn't be abused just because your husband would like to have a quiet night. That is so terrible. I'm sorry to say. As a mother, you noticing the discoloration of his teeth already at two, you should've called a dentist a long time ago.

The question is...Why does he still get a bottle?How long does Dad want this to continue?Teeth should always be clean before going to bed.Do a search about the damage that can be done to a child's teeth by allowing this to continue.

Look at the ingredients in the milk - it contains mostly milk "sugar". It would be better to brush after drinking the milk and not let that sugar stay on his teeth all night long growing bacteria (they love to eat sugar!). Explain that to dad and keep the brushing "low-key" - you don't need to make a party out of it. If this becomes the regular bedtime routine now, your toddler will expect this and continue as he gets older. Good luck!

My dentist taught that kids should go to their first dental appt around one or when they have a good number of teeth, even if they just sit in the chair to get used to things. I take your son to the dentist and get literature from the dentist. This will make it objective professional guidelines rather than subjective info from a spouse, but going to bed with a bottle can definitely cause decay.

I wonder if there are any pictures online of babies with bad teeth from having the sugar from the milk sit on their teeth all night. Perhaps your husband would benefit from seeing them.
At this point, you husband needs to come to a compromise... Truly, he needs to ditch the bottle.. and water would be the best before bed.... but he needs to be brushing every morning and every night to keep his new teeth healthy.

Brushing is just another bed time routine that he would recognize... and then get him snuggled and chit chat in the dark for a minute or two to get the "mood" just right for snoozing.

Hmmm.. When to start? He could probably go in an visit now, since he has teeth.. but make it just a hi..hello visit to get aquainted ... I think I took my son around 3yr.

Good luck!