Custody? - Austin,TX

Geez, this happens on TV all the time so it must be true...lol. But really, he is not legally these childrens custodial parent. Even if he is on the birth certificate. Marriage makes that a legally binding issue. Have an attorney draw up legal papers, have them signed, and then filed. I am a grandparent raising grandchildren and laws are changing to favor these type of issues.

For example (not a real instance, my daughter is alive), if I had a daughter that passed away who had children and the father was a good upstanding guy but not married to her I would have the legal right to file for guardianship and then file to adopt the children because the mother is dead. The father would have to file an injunction to stop the proceedings and it could last for years with me having the kids and him fighting for them.

It is better to do it legally.

I don't know if that's true but all parents should have a will specifying a guardian for their children. I would consult an attorney to get accurate information.

I am a massachusetts lawyer. I haven't practiced family law for a while but if I remember correctly...Parental rights are parental rights! I have never heard of such a thing as giving the other parent custody in a will. You may use your will to appoint a guardian should both parents perish simultaneously. Only if someone challenged the "fit-ness" of the other parent would their be a question of an alternate guardian while the parents fit-ness is assessed. So the short answer is NO you don't need to appoint the other biological parent as guardian If your partner were not the biological parent you would want to appoint them in your will and it is likely they would be challenged by the rightful biological parent had they not relinquished their parental rights. Hope this helps!

In Ohio, that is only the case if the other parent is not listed on the birth certificate. Now, custody can be challenged by anyone at any time, but for a family member to try to obtain custody from a biological parent, the family member would have to prove some serious stuff first.

.

Yep. In many states this is absolutely true... and has been a REPEATED issue in my DH's family.

When our wills were drawn up, they were drawn up with the fact that we change residency fairly often... so to cover states where a "purposefully excluded spouse" can be an issue (aka this can even become an issue when you're married)... our wills read along the lines of this:

In the event of my death, the children go to DH. In the event of both of our deaths... or he being unwilling or incapable, the children go to x&y. In the event of their deaths or x & y being unwilling or incapable the children go to a & b. Etc.

If his name is on the birth certificate, he has parental rights. YES they could be challenged. But they can also be challenged if the 2 of you were married.

Regardless, a will (even just a notarized will), is very very necessary if you have strong feelings as to where your children would be living in the event of your death. It may not guarantee their placement, but it is a very strong indicator of where they will go.

This could actually happen even with a will but the courts will usually weigh in favor of the biological parent unless there are serious moral issues or child safety questions involved. Having legal papers filed, with copies in hand for each of you, will act as a deterrent though. Both of you need to make sure that all of your relatives know your wishes & abide with them. Most of the time it will be the grandparents that file for custody out of fear of not seeing the child again. Reassure them that this will not happen. You may even be able to work some sort of visitation into your legal paper. I wish you all the best of luck.

Yes. It happens all the time. Of course, laws vary from state to state, best to check with a lawyer.

It is my understanding (you should really seek legal help for this issue) that even if you have a will specifying custody, any family member could challenge it. However, it is very unlikely that they would win because the burden of proof would be on them to prove that the parent who is still alive is unfit (in this state that is very rare, I don't know about TX). If your partner is listed on the birth certificate, then he would automatically gain custody - he is the parent. Look at it this way, when I got married to my ex-husband, I already had kids. If I died, he wouldn't have gotten custody of them, their biological father would have. Do you see what I mean?

That being said, because you are not married, I would still have papers drawn up that says who you guys would like to have custody of the child(ren) if BOTH of you die. That might be a little more of a mess - especially if your family and his family do not get along well.

Good luck!