Curious...does Anyone Else's Husband...

Updated on February 03, 2011
L.L. asks from Austin, MN
26 answers

Am I the only one with a husband who WANTS me to keep on the extra weight? He really likes it (why, I don't know...I wouldn't call myself fat, but I've definitely got curves that were NEVER there before). I'm just curious if he's the only one, or if anyone else's husband makes them a pan of muffins at ten at night, knowing you'll eat them, even though you just finished exercising and complaining about your weight. :)

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So What Happened?

Wow, I really didn't expect that many responses!!

No, my husband is not insecure...we're about as secure as could be. We've been together forever. :) I think he just likes the huge nursing boobs, the wide baby hips, and the J-Lo padded butt. My only wish is that I could loose in the thighs and stomach...so my pants would fit!! Hee hee!

Well, hurray to all the filled out women out there...as someone mentioned, historically (etc)...I love it!

And if anyone wants good, cheap, easy muffins, Jiffy makes a tiny box mix that makes 6 muffins, and it costs 50 cents. You add a fourth cup milk and an egg, that's it. I buy the raspberry and the chocolate flavors, and we like to do them up with other flavors of our own, such as vanilla, cinnamon, coconut, etc. In fact, if you stir some coconut into the chocolate mix, then top with a little coconut right before baking, you get these wonderfully toasty choc/coconut delights...for so cheap!

But, alas, they aren't good for you. And I usually eat all six. Sometimes I save one for my oldest daughter for breakfast...and sometimes I just clean up all the evidence before I go to bed. I hope I'm not the only one!

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M.R.

answers from Phoenix on

I saw a show on Dr. Phil showcasing men who not just prefer, but only want larger size women...

Ditto Catherine...where has he been? Perhaps he should speak up more often or louder and tell other men how fabulous his wife is.

I consider myself pleasantly plump - and so does hubby.

4 moms found this helpful
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S.G.

answers from Rapid City on

I am way overweight now and losing weight would be good. I have dieted before and lost the weight and my husband would chose that time to buy me that kingsize candy bar or want ice cream. He once told me that I was nicer when I was fat after I worked hard to lose weight and yep I was pretty cranky because I would buy low fat dressing and he didn't like it so he threw it out. He also would eat any low fat snacks I bought even though there was his favorites snacks available. I also found that when i would give up and stop, I would gain back more then I lost and that isn't healthy. I always wondered if he was that way because he was worried I could attact someone else if I was thin.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

Your husband is not the only one who likes a woman with some curves.
A very dear friend of mine, who is gorgous by the way, told me once that even though he loved me as a friend, he wouldn't give me a second glance if he just saw me out somewhere. Too thin for his taste.
He married an absolutely stunning woman with curves and a booty like you wouldn't believe. He said the minute he saw her, he knew she was the one.
They've been married almost 20 years now.
He said he loves a body that he can hold onto and enjoy every angle. No pointy hip bones for him.
Men know what they like and if you are what your husband gets frisky over....
You are a lucky, lucky woman.
I'm sure you know that the most beautiful women in history were the ones with curves. All the nudes painted by the masters.
Being thin was a sign of being poor and not having enough to eat.
Curvy women were the most sought after. They were the ones believed to be better for bearing children.
It's true.
It's a matter of taste, obviously, but perhaps there's a little evolution at play too.
Another friend of mine married his wife because "baby had back" and they wanted a large family. He found her immensely sexy.

If your man loves your body....go with it!

From my personal experience, he's not the only one, by any means.

You're blessed, to be sure!

11 moms found this helpful

H.V.

answers from Cleveland on

Anytime i "complain" about my weight or my after baby body, my "hubby" always gives me the same look. It's a look that means "are you crazy?"

I've never been a tiny person. I'm 5'8 and Can't remember the last time i weighed less than 150lbs or more. I also have a 38 1/2 inch rib cage, not including my boobs haha. Have wide shoulders, hips etc.
SO obviously my hubby likes my shape.

He's always saying how he can't stand "stick bugs" ya know the girls who are a size 0 or could hide behind a lamp post? lol
If you are feeling unhealthy and want to lose weight, I would do it.
But be thankful you have a hubby that loves you the way you are.

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J.M.

answers from Boston on

A friend once told me that he could never be with someone who looked like "a bag of antlers" Yikes. So yes, there are plenty of men out there who like a woman with curves.

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L.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

My husband LOVES my curves. I realize now that before kids, I was probably too skinny. But I love my curves now. Here's some honest perspective:

* I'm 5'7" and 155 pounds and my doctor says I'm perfect.
* When I was 5'7" and 130 pounds, my mother accused me of having an eating disorder.
* My husband's old Playboy centerfolds' "Vital Statistics" are huge lies. Bambi always claims to be 5'8" tall and 110 lbs. Well, her boobs weigh about 20 pounds each so you know her "stats" are a complete lie.

Most women need to stop comparing themselves to girls (yes, girls, because that's what most models are). By simply NOT looking at the fashion magazines and not watching TV shows where women are too thin, I started feeling better about myself. Imagine that.

If you feel healthy (you get enough sleep and you feel strong and energetic), you're probably ok!

Yay for husbands. Sometimes they know just how ground us again. The skinny model ideal is pretty stupid!

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V.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Uh... You get muffins every night... Stop complaining ;)

4 moms found this helpful

L.U.

answers from Seattle on

My husband married me fat (GASP..>THE HORROR!) and I have never ever been thin. Last year I went on a diet and excersize program and dropped a significant amount of weight...but was still fat! He loves ME, he married ME, he wants ME...it's not about my weight. When I started losing weight he was a little sad to learn that I would be losing in the breast and butt as well since those are his favorite parts. lol
My husband doesn't want me to be fat or thin, he wants me to be happy. If I am happy at my current weight (which, I am not. I just had a baby,so feeling a bit blah right now) then he is happy right along with me.
Also...My husband is not a stick figure either, but he is definitely not fat. He seems to be cursed like most me and carry his weight in his belly. I love laying on his belly, rubbing his belly, patting his belly. Yeah, rock hard abs are nice, but I wouldn't trade my husband's buddah belly!

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J.L.

answers from Los Angeles on

When I met my SO I was thick...very curvy with a flat stomach. I liked to call myself fluffy. Well with the baby and over the years I have gained more weight then I ever wanted to. He knows I am preparing myself to start weight watchers and he always tells me as long as I don't get skinny. He wants me thick, and curvy, and healthy. So no, your hubby is not the only one. =)

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S.S.

answers from Chicago on

Oh my gosh there are millions of them. My next door neighbors just got married. He must weigh in at 80 pounds and she's much bigger than him. (okay I didn't really do the stats). He acknowledges she is big and he obviously loves her. I myself am probably considered stocky and my husband claims he loves the extra padding. He never says a bad word to me about my weight and I know I would look much better if I shed some of it. But we are happy.And of course there probably are the occasional guys who are insecure and are afraid someone would take their honey away so maybeeee they want their wives to keep the weight on. I however would say after a lifetime of observations that most people are raised by a variety of different kinds of women and even if pictures portray thin models there are tons of men who love, love, love our earthy bodies. I remember even my own brother used to bring home bigger girls all the time and to this moment my mother is about five 9 and very, very slim. Anyway, my brother liked the earthy women. So enjoy your honey bun!!! no pun intended...

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B.

answers from Augusta on

That sounds like my hubby.
He tells me all the time he's quite fond of my curves.
And ya know what??? I'd rather have that than someone telling me I need to loose weight.
I'm not over weight by any means but I so need to loose about 15lbs.

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D.P.

answers from Pittsburgh on

It could be O. of a few scenarios:

He really likes you at your current weight.

He's trying to sabotage your diet.

He wants you plumper so he's not worrying about other guys finding you attractive.

3 moms found this helpful

C.C.

answers from Sacramento on

Where has your husband been all my life?! LOL My husband keeps asking when I'm going to join a gym. Hello!

Anyway, pass the muffins, sounds pretty good to me right about now!

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A.E.

answers from New York on

Too funny!! Me and my hubby have this conversation every time I look in the mirror and comment on how I need to get back into shape. I've always been slender and can't say I have kept too much baby weight on, but my butt and thighs are thicker then they have ever been. I see this as something that needs to be worked on, but my hubby can't get enough! When I'm feeling bad about my new mom curves, I just throw on a pair of leggings and a top that falls just above my bum... SportCenter is no match for this, and I get a little ego boost too! This should be our biggest problem!!! With all the ill feelings and changing moods its nice to know something women stress about is pleasing their men-- enjoy it (and the muffins)!!!!!!

2 moms found this helpful

C.T.

answers from Santa Fe on

Lucky you! Well, at least you have curves...you must look nice. I am a stick figure...it's just lousy genetics. I wish I had some curves. Instead I gain weight on my stomach only so if I am not careful I am a stick figure with a pot belly. Totally sucks.

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M.R.

answers from Rochester on

Not exactly, but mine really doesn't like it if I comment about my weight and he actually did say something during this pregnancy to the effect of, "wow, your breasts are almost the size they were when we got married..." since after 2 kids and dropping 3 sizes from when we were dating I was enjoying a slightly smaller chest. (I pointed out the size hadn't really changed much, just the consistency!) He does like curves on women, but also really wants me to feel healthy and good about myself. If I'm not being negative or critical, he's okay about it. =)

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M.S.

answers from San Francisco on

Lucky gurl.... to get muffins made by hubby? Don't worry about your weight, be happy with you! My hubby loves me as I am but I know he would be happier with me if I lost more weight-- I am trying, but its really hard to lose the baby weight.

M

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C.T.

answers from Detroit on

mine likes it! don't even worry about it!

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K.M.

answers from Laredo on

Before I had my first baby I was extremely thin, underweight for my height but my whole family is bean pole skinny (my hubbie is portuguese so everyone in his family has the same pear shape, and my weight always got brought up) after I had my DS I got hips so I never got as small as I was and he was pleased.. We just had our second baby and I gained 22 pounds with her. I have lost half the weight and my husband would Love It if I didnt loose anymore. He hates if I do any cardio and would perfer if I only did toning exercises since I have to workout for my sanity.
I am not used to it and sometimes it bugs me when we are cuddling and he touches me in the areas that I feel are bigger than I am used to but he can't seem to get enough so I am hoping to adjust to the idea of keeping on some of the weight : )
I read some of the other posts so I am going to say that for me keeping on some of the weight makes me a size 26 so in no way is he trying to make me fat to make me unattractive.

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G.T.

answers from Modesto on

My ex liked a beefier type woman, my current wants me to be a rail.
I think your hubby wants you to be comfy in your own skin and he's letting you know that. I know there are some men that love really large women too, I think because they are so soft and have lots of crevices to explore, lol.
Maybe he is insecure and doesnt want you to be thin because he's afraid you might leave him or something? I'd do a little more communicating with him. Let him know you dont feel healthy or at your best when you are overweight. It sounds like your weight is an issue to YOU and he's trying to let you know that its not an issue for him. Maybe you are exercising too much and avoiding him and he just wants your attention?
I think y'all need to sit and discuss and resolve it.
When we have a few extra pounds on us it makes our boobs a little bigger, maybe he likes that, haha.
You just both need to figure out what the right weight is for you and not make it a huge issue. You dont want your kids having eating disorders by listening to you two bicker about it, so be careful in that respect.

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B..

answers from Dallas on

I'm really thin, but I have hips, a butt, and boobs. I'm not a ruler, by any means. My husband definitely likes a thin/ lean woman, but not a stick figure!

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M.K.

answers from Kansas City on

My husband has never complained about my weight gain ( I have though!) and wants sex multiple times a week (me, not so much).

He is a sabatager (sp?). He is very addicted to fast food. I HATE it when he works from home...like now....when it's -9 outside! He is, as I type, on his way to McD's for buiscuts (no honey, none for me thanks, I just started P90X 6 days ago (it's like he forgets or something)). UGH!! !When I work out or diet, he complains about quality time (although he spends most of his night playing CoD and watching DVR'd shows in bed- for HOURS) or wants to go out for ice cream. He pushes sweets too. It's like he feels since he is overweight, I have to be too. Misery loves company and maybe me being skinny again causes him to be insecure.

Along those lines.....he told his mother over Christmas that I wanted to finish my last two years of school (he is against the one hour commute I would need to make since the move) so I could "get a good job and divorce him."

He says he's kidding......I think not! He wants me fat so no one else will want me. He forgets I have a great personality!!!

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

My first husband liked me overweight so that I didn't feel good about myself, so that he didn't have to worry about me leaving... It didn't work. I started working out, felt better than ever about myself, and left him.

If you are exercising and he is undermining your efforts, that's not healthy in a relationship. Maybe he really does like your curves. But if you don't, it's your body, not his. Talk with him about this.

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K.H.

answers from Minneapolis on

sounds like dear hubby is really insecure with your relationship..

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J.J.

answers from Omaha on

My husband doesn't want me fat; however, he says that thin women are not attractive. He likes curves! He encourages me to be fit and he doesn't bake things to make sure I eat them to gain weight.

I encourage you to talk to your husband about eating healthy. Show him pictures of large women and ask him if he wants you to look like that. Explain to him that if you keep eating that way then you will end up really large and that is very unhealthy.

Be glad he likes you the way you are. A lot of husbands aren't very nice to their wives when they gain weight.

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M.M.

answers from Milwaukee on

Every man has their own tastes.. Just because we are fed to believe that thin is beautiful, many men and women prefer a little extra in the right places. We are all built differently so thank goodness there are different tastes for every body type. As long as you are happy with yourself being a little rounder than go with it. I have been round my whole teenage and adult life. I am in the process of losing it because I know I have gotten to a unhealthy level. I by no means want to be "skinny" I like being a little rounder and softer I just want to get to a healthy level. My husband really likes the roundness and softness of me.

Historically rounder women have been preferred, a symbol of fertility. It has only been about the last 100 years where the idea that women should be thin has been mainstream. So be happy that you have a husband that loves your curves, but don't go to a point to which you are not happy with the way you look. It's important that you feel happy with yourself whatever size you like to be. If you happen to get to a point where you think you might be getting past the point of which you are happy with make sure you can talk to your husband and ask him not to continue to bake you muffins or whatever it is. I've seen programs about "feeders" where men just keep feeding their girlfriends or wives to get them bigger and bigger.

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