Crying Toddler When Granpa Comes Around

Hi there

I went thru the same with my son when he was around this age but it was with Grandma. Now my daughter, 13 months, has the same reaction to Grandpa. Developmentally it's a time for separation AND stranger anxiety. Yes, Grandpa is not a stranger to you, but anyone that does not live with baby is a stranger to them. What worked for us was not to force the issue and instead take "baby steps".
For example, have Grandpa sit down and be on baby's level. Sometimes taller/bigger people are intimidating to baby. Have Grandpa play with a really interesting toy and have him pass it to baby. Stay the whole time with baby while you both play with Grandpa-- that can help break the ice. My daughter will not allow my dad to hold her but she does play with him now and has fun. It's a short stage and it'll pass for sure... some kids are more sensitive than others!

My 2yr old son always cried when his grandmother came around i realize that her voice and eyeglasses freaked him out. He is turning 3 in June and he is slowly growing out of his fears. Ihave 2 older girls and i find with my son he seems to be afraid of things a little bit more than my girls. I think your son will grow out of that soon.It is probably just a stage i did not force my son.

Something's up with Grandpa...look into it.

my daughter did this with almost everyone in my family for the first 2 1/2 years. she would just start scremaing and going ballistic when someone came around her. it's something that they will grow out of on there own. if that is their personality, or mindset, right now, just go with it. now my daughter is 5 and she talks to anyone just about and extremely outgoing and friendly

I have been there. I know it seems strange because it is someone that he sees all the time. Around that age all my girls did the same thing. Not all with the same person, but they all did it. I just would not push him. As he watches the rest of your family interact with your dad, he will come around again.

I agree with Victoria- don't force the issue. I saw this on an episode of Super Nanny once, also.

When Grandpa comes over don't force your son to say hi or even acknoledge him if he doesn't want to. Let Grandpa play with your other son and let the younger one decide he wants to be included.

I think he might sense that this is a "big deal" and he gets anxiety about it. Make it a non-issue and I bet he'll come around.

Maybe this is his way of getting attention around your father. Have you ever left the two of them togehter to see what happens

I've been down this path myself before. Can I ask if the grandfather wears glasses? I learned that my youngest had this fear of glasses for some reason. Everytime she was around her grandfather, she would throw a fit...unlike her older sister who was thrilled to see grandpa. If your father wears glasses, try having him remove them for a minute and see if that helps calm down your little one. Hope it helps!!

of course, it sounds like it could be something sinister and anyone reading this may think your father may be being inappropriate with your son and that would explain his reaction. but on the other side of that, if your quite certain that is not the case, your littlest boy could just be super sensitive. my daughter is. she is especially uncomfortable around negative energy of any kind. like if someone has a fight or argument before they come to my house, my daughter will pick up the hostility and cry and refuse to be around that person. she also has chosen to just not like certain people in our family or neighborhood. like my brother. but after i told him to come over daily for at least an hour to just hang out, without putting any pressure on my daughter to be social. after a week she was greeting him at the door. by week two, she was wanting him to hold her.

good luck!

Maybe the personality of the 2nd child doesn't match with his grandpa or he could just be afraid of him. My nephew was like that with his great grandfather and it was because he made faces thinking it was a play and it end up scaring him and from then he didn't warm up to him. Also, he was stern looking, so he thought he was mad - so your toddler might be super sensitive.

He maight be afraid or he maight be "alergic" to your father.
Did you hear about NAET? go to www.naet.com they explain about alergies to enviroment, food and human beings.

Hey E., my first son did the same thing from 18 months up until now that he is 3 he is now warming up to him, but is cautious still but alot better, my 2nd son who is now 19 months is doing the same thing and i don't want it to last so long as my first son, my 3 daughters love their papa and always have they were never scared or pushed him away, i hope to get some help from your question too! Good Luck, and if something works for you let me know so i can try with my youngest son.
S. mom to 5 amazing children, 17yrs,9yrs,7yrs,3yrs,and 19 months check out my sons journey at www.liamlockhart.com leave a message so i know you stopped by

Dear E.,
I believe if grandpa tries a milder cologne, or bath soap, the scent if milder may help your son warm up. If that doesn't help, try a game in which you too are included so that he sees grandpa as a safe person. Keep coaxing and have grandpa state every time that he loves him. I am sure your son will get attached at his pace. Keep hugging and loving them both! God bless you!
Truly,
Kathy N.
PS: a light baby powder scent on some one will make the child feel better!

Particularly since your husband is around infrequently, it is probably related to Grandpa being a man. Lower pitched voice, facial hair, rougher hands, etc. My son reacted that way to my brother (no one else!) the first several times he was around him. We didn't see him often, but what it seemed to boil down to was 2 things: he wore a beard (no other men that were around us had one) and he had a much deeper/gruffer voice/laugh than the other men my son was accustomed to having around. My husband's voice is not quite as deep, nor is my dad's, nor was our Pastor's, etc etc... So, just give him some space and let him get used to him being around. If Grandpa is full of energy and activity (tossing the kids in the air, etc) ask him to tone it back a little for the next few visits. Someone mentioned cologne... does your dad wear strong cologne? I can remember having family relatives that did (when I was a small child) and I HATED being near them. Maybe he could forego the cologne for the next visit. Try not to sweat it, that will add to your little one's anxiety. My dad always fed the kids something when they were little. It sounds simple/dumb. But, put the little one in the high chair, and let Grandad "share" a special treat with him. My daughter and my dad shared half a jar of pimento stuffed olives on more than one occasion! But ice-cream works miracles too. Grandad can sit kity-cornered to the high chair (don't get in little one's personal space or face-to-face ---could be too initimidating), and just enjoy whatever the treat is for a few moments. Then "notice" little one, and offer him a bite. Go slow.
Baby steps.

You are so blessed to have helpful parents! Ours live hours away!

I truly believe that there is nothing "going on with grandpa" or anything sinister there. I think that your little one is a little one and grandpa is much bigger and probably has a deeper voice. His hands may be rough from years of work, he could even have a bad breath that the child can't take. Heck, it could be many things, but I don't think there is any foul play at all. My nephew was the cutest thing, I loved him so much and he looked like a doll. We played and I babysat, he got so used to me, when leave was over and I had to go back to the army. It was over a year before I had leave again. when I went near him, he cryed like I was the wool of the worst! This hurt me, but I had not been a constant in his life, and he was unsure.
Don't try to press it. Grandpa is wise and he is not hurt by this, it has happened to him many times in the past or he has seen it. Your son will soon notice that this nice gentleman likes to play. He will come around in his own time. so, allow him to do that.

Don't start seeing grandpa as any type of person doing anything wrong to your children. Don't listen to those types who suggest that. If anything was going on, you are an observative,conscientious mother, you would notice and see physical signs. Your instincts and discernment would tell you. You would know.

Some kids do this, and it is alright. Just comfort and reassure him. Pat grandpa on the shoulder, and hug him infront of the kids for thanks and praise. Your little one will see your trust and he will eventually begin to trust too.

GRANDPA IS DOING NOTHING WRONG. YOU ARE DOING EVERYTHING RIGHT TO ASK OTHERS IN THIS FORUM WHERE NO FAMILY MEMBERS WILL START RUMORS OR REACT IN THE ADVERSE.

You are doing okay by me kid and so is grandpa. Damn! I wish my kids had had a grandpa like that on either side of the family.

J.