Crying for Her Bottle

Updated on April 12, 2008
M.K. asks from Edison, NJ
24 answers

Hi, my name is M. and I have a 1 year old girl. I understand that this is the time to start switching her from her bottles to sippy cups. I have to say that during the day she is not really attached to her bottles and will sip water out of a sippy cup, although not a lot. However, the problem is during a day time nap and mostly at night... She will not go to bed without a bottle. During the day time nap the bottle is filled with water, but not sure if I should switch it to sippy cup with water? But nights are worse. She will not drink her milk in the bottle until she is in bed, and I know it's bad for her teeth... after she is done with the milk bottle then I swich it to water bottle for the rest of the night, and she is fine with it.
However, my worry is ...
1) the milk she is drinking in bed after her 2 teeth had been cleaned
2) need of having a bottle no matter what's inside, as long as she can have it in her mouth while in bed. Isn't that bad for her teeth?

She is crying histerically right now because for the day time nap I put her in bed with a sippy cup right now and she is very unhappy, she wants the bottle. Please help me make a good transition.
I really need your help. Thank you.

PS. she has not used her pacifier since she has been 5 months old.

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So What Happened?

Thank you for your advise. I am happy to hear that the bottle is still ok for the night sleep at her age. Few weeks ago her doctor said that she should be using sippy cup, and then the day care lady said to get rid of the bottle with milk at night b/c it will damage the teeth... this is why I thought I should... but now I know it's not time yet. Thanks again.

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S.P.

answers from New York on

Give her the bottle and forget about what what is condidered "normal". This is not a battle worth fighting (I know many 3 year olds still using a bottle). I would give her the milk bottle first and then switch it to water so that she can rinse her teeth afterwards. Good luck.

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C.B.

answers from New York on

I wouldn't leave a baby with any kind of cup by themselves in a crib/bed as they're not designed for use without supervision. Can you alter her routine a bit so that she drinks a bottle before you lay her down? You can use a soft fingertip brush or even a washcloth to clean her teeth right after if you keep milk in it, or you can water it down to just water over time and then you won't need to brush.

C.B.

answers from New York on

No child cries forever. It is unpleasant but it will stop if you don't give in. She will catch on. It just might be a day or week of sleeplessness for you all.

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A.T.

answers from New York on

I have found that taking a bottle away, has to be done cold turkey. Of course accompanied by a soothing, settling story that the "bottle Fairy" came and took them away to give to the new babies that are being born that do need them unlike big baby who no longer needs them. LOL.
With that said, I think 1 year old is a little too young to take away the bottle. I have a godson who's "bottle fairy" took away his bottle at 2 1/2, My daughter's "bottle fairy" didn't arrive 'til she was 3 (my mom and I had a tug of war on this one), my son, now 18 gave up his bottle to the "bottle fairy" by 2......in other words, all babies are different and have different needs. If you see she is attached to it very much so and it's causing too big of a disruption in her schedule, leave it be. You have at least another year really to transition her from bottle to sippy. Good job to introduce sippy, but she still needs her milk bottle for sleepy soothing purposes. Don't worry about her teeth, the baby ones fall out anyway, and my daughter, even though she gave up the bottle at 3, has beautiful teeth now at 11. Very Important....do not under any circumstances re-introduce the pacifier. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from New York on

give her the bottle. A 1 year old is too young to comprehend that she shouldn't have a bottle. The sippy cup is fine during the waking hours and at meal time. but at nap and bed time she needs her bottle. Don't worry about rotting her teeth that won't happen especially if you're changing the milk to water. You're making both you and her nuts. Transitions have to be done when she's ready not you or some book you've read. sorry if I sound harsh, but she's still a little baby learning so many new things each and every day, she needs the comfort at bed time. Don't worry she will give up the bottle when she's ready. I have 2 older children and a set of 10 month old twins. So I know from experience. Good Luck and ease up

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M.K.

answers from New York on

Dear Mom,

I gave my kids a bottle for as long as they asked for it, and their teeth are fine,

My boys eventually weened themselves off of it, by sleeping thru the night, and then last was the Before bed bottle,

My baby uses a pacifier and he is 2 I let him have it,

And during the day we use the silicone STRAW sippy cup that resembles a bottle.

from there we graduated to a regular silicone sippy cup,

and finally a regualar cup, which is where we are, NOW

Only thing is sippy cup gives them freedom to travel around
and cups are at the table only,

So i suggest you buy the silicone straw sippy cup, for the days, and a bottle still at bed time,
then after she has a few weeks with e sippy cup, you can hide the bottle and offer just the sippy straw bottle,

and then after a month or 2 when the sippy cup gets damamged or something, give her the regular silicone sippy cup during the day and the straw for bed

and then after a week or 2 just the sippy cup,

and after a month, a regular cup, and sit her up for a drink of water from the cup,

and eventually she won't need anything

but it takes time to transition her, unless you do it cold turkey, which is the cry it out method,

Good luck

M

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A.S.

answers from New York on

From what I know having the baby sleep w/ the bottle in the mouth for long periods is bad. When my son was a baby, I made it a point to always remove it once he was asleep.

(They also said sharing spoons can transfer bacteria & cause cavities, too.)

You can try filling her up before sleeping. Maybe she wouldn't need that bottle if she was. Do remember she's only 1, so it might take a while & a lot of crying. My son was 2 1/2 when the bottle wasn't needed completely. But I slowly kept removing one bottle time, gradually. Until one day, it just seemed to never exist.

Good luck! =)

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M.A.

answers from New York on

milk is good for their teeth and if the bottle is only for the night and nap times i dont see a problem,keep giving her sippy cup for all other drinks during the day,when she is ready to give up bottle she will and when the time is right make a big deal out of it,for example to get rid of my daughters we did it xmas eve left it for santa then in its place we left a note for her saying thank you baby reindeers love it etc,hope this helps a little,when they are ready it should be easy not a screaming episode,we need some peace .im a mother of a 6yr old daughter and a 16 yr old son...good luck

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S.S.

answers from New York on

If she wants a bottle to sleep.....give it to her! Babies always know what is better for them than moms do. I promise, she won't still want the bottle forever. Let her live her life on her own schedule; not yours. The "experts" change their advice every decade but the babies never change. Listen to your baby if you want her to grow up happy and well adjusted.

S. Striker

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M.P.

answers from New York on

Here's my opinion b/c when my son turned a year old I was worried about weening him off the bottle. My mom's the one that kept saying don't worry about it he's still a baby, so I lightened up.(He's now almost 18 months.) She will ween when she's ready. My son would only drink a couple of oz. before his naps so by 16 months no more bottle before nap. (and before that I would offer sippy cups before naps not always the bottle to transition) Now bedtime is different, I give him his milk then he brushes his teeth and then takes a paci. In your case I would give her a bottle of water after she's had her milk bottle. It's not gonna hurt, at least she's willing to drink water from the bottle and it will help wash the sugar off her teeth. You could also let her try a toothbrush after the milk as well. Then during the day and at mealtime offer the sippy and make the transition that way. Lots of luck! Hope this helps.

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K.M.

answers from Syracuse on

If she's happy with water in her bottle then let her have it with water. My youngest only just willingly gave up his bottle about a month ago, and he's now 17 months. Follow your babies instincts. She'll let you know when she's ready to give up the bottle. In the mean time it doesn't hurt to keep offering the sippy cup.

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K.S.

answers from New York on

I just recently went through a similar situation with my daughter. She turned 1 on 2/22. I started putting her to bed with a bottle because I was putting 3 children to bed at the same time and it was just easier for me. Well she got so attached to it that she wouldn't fall sleep without a bottle. I gave her till 1 month after her 1st birthday and decided it was time to go cold turkey. Yes we had several night of screaming, but eventually she got use to it and she now falls asleep without a bottle or sippy cup.

I know it is hard, but just get rid of the bottle and no sippy cup, if you do it now she will adjust within a week or 2 and then bed time will be much easier on both of you!

Good Luck!

K.

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J.C.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,

I am the mother of two great kids, a son who's 14 and a daughter who's 12. I really think that at the age of one, there is nothing wrong with your daughter still taking the bottle to bed. I always thought that two years old was the age that you should be weaning them off the bottle. I guess each child is different, but it sounds like you are concerned over nothing. I think that you are doing a great job by giving the sippy cup during the day. Also, switching the milk to water at night is definitely a good thing, you won't have to worry about the milk decaying her teeth.
I am sure there are other parents out there who will swear that the earlier off the bottle the better, but it really does depend on the individual child. Both my kids went to bed with their pacifiers until they were about 3 years old. I never forced the issue, and it just seemend that they grew out of the bottle and the pacifier at their own pace. Sometimes, the more you push for something, the worse off you are. Just let nature take it's course. Have you ever seen a five year old go to kindergarten with a bottle?(or even in diapers for that matter?!)

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M.M.

answers from New York on

M., who told you that its time to switch her to a sippy cup? Children develope at their own speed. If she only needs a bottle at nap time or bed time, just take it away when she falls asleep. Following someone else's time frame is not worth the seperation trauma your little one is suffering from. She is only a year old, give her some time to adjust. You're her mom and you know her best, follow your instincts and not someone else's. Good luck!

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T.M.

answers from Syracuse on

I had the same issue with my youngest. What worked for me first was switching all bed time drinks to water. Then If he wanted a drink I would get up and feed him with the bottle of water or sippy cup. It is best not to get into the habbit of using the drink in the bed anyhow. try to transition to a stuffed animal or something.

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J.D.

answers from New York on

Hello M.!

I can only speak from experience - I have a 3-1/2 year old son and a 1-1/2 year old daughter. BOTH of them still get bottles. They each get 1 in the morning when they wake up w/silk in it. My daughter - should she not eat well at dinner - will get a bottle before bed. Also - if she has gassy foods for dinner we give her a bottle with gas-x in it (she won't put ANY dropper in her mouth).

You mentioned being concerned about drinking milk after their teeth are brushed and my son just had his first dentist appointment about 6 months ago and no cavities.

I know that some would disagree with it but I feel they are little only once. I hated the thought of ripping a bottle away from my kids because "I was supposed to." If they need that bottle to soothe them to sleep, so what?

I don't know if I've helped you but I'm happy with how I've handled things. Some morings/nights neither of my kids get bottles...it's slowly stopping and I don't mind that it's taken longer. They're happy and that's all that matters.

Good Luck!
J.

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R.H.

answers from Albany on

Hi M.,

My DD is 13-months-old and still gets a water-filled bottle to help her fall asleep for the night. We began to wean her from formula bottles at night when she was about 11 months old (I should explain that we adopted her from S. Korea at 8.5 months old) because she still needed the comfort and nutrition. We began adding less formula to her bottles but kept the water level the same. Within three weeks she was down to plain water at night. No worrying about formula sitting on her teeth overnight!

As far as a sippy cup, my DD doesn't seem to be too excited to switch, though we always offer water (she does not get juice) in one during the day. She loves to drink out of a "Big Girl" cup with assistance (and a bib :)

Our doctor isn't too concerned about weaning her off the bottle... for now. And I always reassure myself that not only does each child have their own schedule, but as a college Resident Assistant, I'd never checked in a student who still clutched their Ba to their chests. :)

Best of luck and let us know how it goes!

-R.

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B.A.

answers from New York on

Its been a long time since my last baby 18 years :(
I don't see a problem with leaving her on the water bottle for naps and at night. Let her drink her milk and then give the water it will rinse her teeth a little and her salivia will help too. Or you could start to dilute the milk a little each day until it is water. You may be able to ummm trick her that way.

Maybe she is just not ready. All children are different. If they were they would only be one instruction book. Everyone has their own ideas as to when this should happen and when that should happen, because that is when it happened with their children. She is her own person and is not going to do something if she is not ready. And it is OK to let her cry for a little while as long as she is not turning beet red and going to explode. I know it is very hard to do, but those are my suggestions.

Maybe a more recient Mom will be able to give you some different advice. Good luck

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Q.F.

answers from New York on

hi, i may not have any advice that you like, but my daughter just turned 2 today and 2-3 weeks ago i stopped her bottle all together! one day i just said NO MORE, there are babies out there that need the bottles, and you're a big girl! that seemed to work GREAT....for that day, nap AND bed time! then the next day she freaked (5 min screaming for the bottle, 5 min quiet, on and off for about 1/2 hr) and then the following day nothing, just went to sleep great. the days varied for about 2 weeks where one minute she'd be fine, and the next she'd want that bottle so bad she'd freak out! i went in there only once after putting her down each time she freaked out (each nap or bed time) and tell her that this was the ONE AND ONLY time i was coming in, she had her sippy cup and if she wanted something to drink DRINK THAT! if not, then she was out of luck! i know this sounds harsh, but it was after about a week that i started with that and it quickly stopped. now she just freaks out when she just doesn't want to go to sleep which at this age, i guess i just have to have her worn out to go to sleep now! if you really think she should stop at 1 yr then just stop! i personally think that if you're brushing her teeth, and making sure that she has water after her milk, then there isn't a problem. my aunt has always worked for a dentist and told me that my cutting the bottle 3 oz milk, 7 oz water for the past yr was perfectly fine, NOT a problem AS LONG AS i made sure to brush her teeth. she at this point has only a problem with plaque (because she doesn't brush properly and insists on doing it herself and bites down HARD when i try!) and she has 2 dark spots on the teeth on either side of the 2 front teeth, but i had someone (dental assistant for the hospital) look quickly at it (after her fall today) and she said that it looked like it may be from a fall just like the one she had. so until i have her really checked out, no cavities (plus she doesn't have sensitivity to anything other than hot, and i have the same problem with NO cavities in my mouth). just keep them cleaned and do what you feel is best. just remember that if you're going to switch, just do it "cold turkey" because it only confuses them (at least mine) if you give in and hand them the bottle. good luck and remember it takes a lot of patience to deal w/ the crying, but it WILL end!

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N.M.

answers from New York on

M.,

Why are you feeling the need to take the bottle away SO fast? She is still a little baby at 1 yrs old. At one, I had just finished the whole formula thing and went to the 100% milk in the bottle. I would give her table food and some baby food still and she would have the bottle in between meals and slowly around the 14 month I would do the sippy and the bottle. I personally think you are weaning her off too early... Don't jump the gun to fast... You are not doing anything wrong.. Too many moms want their kids to progress too quickly... If she really wants the bottle and you are worried about the teeth situation, which I was not, mix the mild with the water so you have less of it and still give her the bottle... Little by little she will take to the sippy cup as she gets older and get her a cool looking one that interests her. A disney character or something like that. Tell her how cute it is and how you wish you had one.. Tell her it is her new toy and make it her new friend. Soon , she will like the sippy cup bc it is fun and bright, and what not.... Tell her bottles are for babies. It takes time bc she is still very small. I think you are fast forward right now..... Good luck!

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R.R.

answers from Rochester on

Hi M.- I know I am a little late in the game, but fo rwhat its worth, there is little difference between a sippty cup and a bottle- in terms of teeth and oral development. i am a speech therapist and the big push on sippy cups is not very productive. Give her the bottle as a nuturing comforting tool and start teaching her to drink from a real cup. Thats just my opinion. My son weaned himself naturally from a bottle by 3 and we just made it a rule that when he drank a bottle he had to sit and drink it and then it was done. I really felt it helped us through some "tough" times as a comforting tool.

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J.K.

answers from New York on

your beautiful 1 year old i am sure is smart and curious and checking out all new things, but i must say a 1 year old child is not quite smart enough to understand change, or transition. I agree that you should be diligent about your daughters teeth, but tell me who made this rule that you must change from a bottle to a cup at such a tender age. My advice to you is, simply follow your heart and throw out any books whos demands on our children say when and what is the right time for anything. I guarantee you that your daughter when ready will not want a bottle anymore and demand a cup. I see no reason that a baby should be upset at bedtime for any reason. You will know what is right for you and your daughter, Good Luck J.

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A.D.

answers from New York on

Hi M., I am a 62 year old grandmother who has raised 5 children. My first 3 were each 1 year apart (madness) but I was young enough. I couldn't even think of taking away first one's bottle, he would grab his brothers. I didn't know there was a rule or an age to stop. Follow your heart and your childs needs. My first son was still drinking a bottle when he was 4 and didn't have a cavity until he was 17. Why should you both be so unhappy. Let her have her bottle at nap time and bed time. Try again another time and she may be ready then. The peole who write the books are probably not parents.
Hope it all works out for you. Mary

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S.C.

answers from New York on

Hi M.,
Did you ever nurse your daughter? It seems that she misses the pacifier or any resemblance to nursing, especially since you say that her need for the bottle is greater before sleeping. Personally, I would give her whatever makes her more comfortable. Also, if she only needs the milk for a short time until she falls asleep and you're able to take the bottle from her, I'm not sure that that would be hazardous to her teeth.

Best,
S.

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