Cry It Out Advocates Only!!

I did this method with both of my boys and frankly...I don't see the downside!!! 45 minutes the first night, 10 minutes the second, and 1 minute the third then PEACE!! My boys are incredibly independent and sleep like stones to this day! My SIL thought this method was barbaric...with three children now who get up in the middle of the night, she actually has health problems due to lack of sleep. I think you are doing great, keep up the good work! Also, my boys would go months sleeping through the night and then wake again and we would have to do the CIO method again but it never took as long, so 19 months is not too late!

Nope it's not too late at all! And what's nice about this age vs babies is that they seem to catch on a bit quicker. Hang in there, she'll get the hang of it soon enough!

It's not too late. I didn't do it until my daughter was that age and have had to redo it a couple of times due to circumstances. (vacation, illness, etc) I found it easier to do the "graduated" method. Go in the first time at 5 minutes, next time 10 minutes, next 15, etc. That made it easier on me to extend the time. If you're having a hard time start at 2,4,6, etc. Don't pick her up or have extended interaction. Make it a brief interchange, walk out and don't look back. You can do it and are doing the right thing. Good luck, I know how hard it is.

Not it is NOT too late. The fact that you went in every 10 minutes gave her attention ... and the attention alone will keep her in this bad loop. I learned from my pediatrition years ago. He told me if I had to do so to turn up the radio or television ... go sit on the back step if necessary ... and just let her cry. Keep in mind that I was a working Mom and every night my daughter woke up just as I was going to bed. She was well rested and ready to get up and play. One night (crying lasted about 4 hours) and that was the end of it. As long as you know it is not a tummy ache or a teething problem, etc. then crying herself to sleep never killed a child ... at least that is what my Dr. said (and he raised 8 children!) I took his advice! and lived to be a well-rested Mom with a well-rested daughter. Don't feel guilty because you need your sleep too in order to be in good spirits for your little toddler all day long. (Since I lived in an apartment I also warned my neighbors in advance!) Good luck!

J.-
I am the mother of 3: ages 10,9, and 4. My 1st child was very small, 5lbs when we left the hospital, and she was got every night for a feeding for the 1st year and a half. I got every night and feed her because I felt since she started out so small she needed the for frequent feedings. I have to admit that trying to feed both a newborn and 1 year old was rough. My newborn slept through the night before my oldest did. I know it is hard to let them cry it out but they won't learn how to do it if we don't let them. It is rough listening to them cry, even now when they talk in their sleep or have a nightmare I still wake up but now I listen and they usually always go right back to sleep. After their asleep I admit I still go and check them and rearrange blankets. It is mother thing to want to fix everything for them but we can't, sometimes you just have to let them find their own way. Good Luck. I the next few days may be tough. I may take a little longer than you expect but I think learning to sleep through the night is harder on us than them.

It might help to have your fiance put her down at night rather than you. I never would have made it through with out my husband. He seemed to have the magic touch, but others tell me it was just easier because he was not the one nursing him to sleep. I wish you peace at night and soon. :-)

hey J. - i know how judgemental people can be on this topic! i am still nursing my 22mo daughter, and still nurse her down for naps and bedtime [but a couple days a week my husband puts her down for a nap w/o a bottle or anything with no problem]. we were against the CIO method, we were totally into the Dr. Sears stuff. but, at a certain point, it stopped working. she stopped falling asleep on the boob, so i HAD to put her down awake. let me tell you, it was very hard, because like you, she was older, and they say it's easier to start the CIO method younger. anyway, now she always goes to bed awake, and chatters herself to sleep. sometimes she just crashes right out. it's amazing. stick with it, it's painful to hear them cry, the first couple nights are the worst, but it'll pay off for both of you if you can just get through that first week. it definitely wasn't easy, but now it's a dream! also, i she always sleeps in her own bed, never with us. we co-sleeped till she was 7-months, then had to put her in her own room so she'd [and we'd!] get sleep. she was up every two hours before. after the 3rd nite of her sleeping in her own room, she slept through the night. it was amazing. try to resist bringing her into bed if you can. good luck!!

Sounds like you did fine. The time should get shorter and shorter with the amount of time she cries. I would slowly stretch out the time that you go in, from 10 minutes to 15 and so on. Since she's been rocked to sleep for 19 months straight, it would be quite shocking for her to just be left there to cry. Crying it out works for some kids, but in this case, you're letting her cry it out in a better way for her. You're easing her into falling asleep on her own. Soft music may help as well, very very soft, without words, like nature sounds.

Try to come up with a new sleep routine before bed, like reading a book in low light or singing her a lullaby and then quietly laying her down for the night. She'll get that time with you without falling asleep in your arms.

Good luck!
K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

It isn't too late..but may I highly reccommend "Twelve Hours Sleep by Twelve Weeks Old?" I used this book from 4 weeks and have been reaping the rewards ince 8 weeks. In the book, I know it said the methods work through two years though. It is much like the cry it out method..just gives you tools to cope..tools we all probably already know..but during the crying..makes you deal better. Good Luck, I know I'm blessed in this area so far. :)

I, too, waited til my son was older for him to go to sleep on his own. Then, I watched the Supernanny once and this one episode has saved me so much time and stress. She said to put the child in the crib at night and sit near the crib until they fall asleep. And each night move a little further away from the crib. It may sound like it will take forever at first but my little guy did not do well AT ALL with me leaving the room and letting him cry it out! I could tell he felt completely cut off and deserted. This method was sooo worth it for me! It took less than a week for me to do this method. Now I just put him in his crib at night and turn on his music, leave the room and he falls asleep within minutes. Remember do not take them out of the crib once they are in there. At first just talk to them and tell them to lay down but as you are moving further away talk less. They will get the idea. One more thing... Make sure they are well fed with a bed time snack so their bellies are full all night long. Good Luck!

First, I want to say that there is a light at the end of the tunnel no matter what you decide to do. I don't think it's too late at all. Just be careful about climbing out of the crib. That's what our son did when we tried the same thing at 19 months. I always rocked him to sleep and put him in his crib after he was asleep. He would wake up once or twice a night but it really wasn't disruptive enough for me to do anything about it. That is, until I had twins boys when he was 19 months old. Coincidentally (or maybe not so coincidentally, maybe it had to do with having two new brothers), that's when his whole bedtime ritual got even more difficult. I couldn't get him into the crib without waking him up, so either me or my husband would be in his room for roughly one hour each night trying to get him to sleep. That didn't include night time wakings - same thing for those. We then tried to cry it out. It seemed to work in the beginning but then he started climbing out of his crib. By this time he was almost 22 months and we decided our only option was to get him a big boy bed. That was the best decision we ever made. All we would do was lie on the bed with him until he went to sleep and then slip out. When he woke in the night, we'd do the same thing. When he was 24 months old he suddenly became very reasonable. One night I said to him "Mommy is going to let you try to go to sleep on your own" and that was it! Now he goes to sleep on his own and rarely gets up in the night. I've learned from my mistakes, though, and had the twins cry it out at 5 months old! Much easier I must say. Good luck!!

It is never to late to have your kids learn to fall asleep on their own. What you don't want is a 3 year old who still relies on you to fall asleep. It sounds like you are already starting a good process. Each time will be easier as the child soon learns that mom's not gonna help with this and they soon adapt to finding their own way of comforting themselves to sleep. we allowed our kids to cry a lot even as infants (never rocked them to sleep) and by three months we could lay them down and walk out of the room...that's not to say that they never ever cried after that! but we were so glad we at least were working toward that independence especially when we heard stories of other kids especially older ones needing so much help from parents to fall asleep.
I will admit I can hardly stand to hear them cry but it is all worth it in the end! good luck.

You sound just like me, now my kids are 10, 8, and 4! I don't believe it's too late to let her cry it out, each night it's supposed to be less and less crying as she realizes, you mean it! Getting her out and bringing her to bed with you will never help you in the long run, they really get attached to that and it's harder to break! Trust me I know, with my first daughter we, mostly me, laid down next to her when she went to a toddler bed and that was rough! My next daughter same thing and when she went to big bed, I laid at the end! She had just turned 4 and I was 9 months prego with my son, and still doing that! They really need to learn to go to sleep by themselves, after all we do it, right. What helped me in the end and you may not agree, was we use nightlights and we run a fan, even in winter, for the white noise, in each of our kids rooms, and ours too! All my kids sleep great and they have no vision or hearing problems! Sleeping pattern sometimes change with young kids, but they eventually find their pattern and stay with it. Good luck and bet wishes............E. G

Why do you think it is too late? Seems like it worked exactly as it was supposed to. It will take less and less time each night. It will seem like a looooong 3 or 4 nights, but it will be worth it.

Hi,

I don't think it's ever too late to try that - especially at her age. My only advice to you is not to turn back now. You have to be consistent with it even it means several nights of her screaming for an hour. It should get better each night. Good luck!

Momma, I think it's time for you to get a good night's sleep! Good for you for letting her get to sleep on her own. I think that is very important. Keep it up! The more you do it, the more confident she'll become (which is what we want, right?) Now is probably the time to wean her off of sleeping with you all together. If my baby wakes up in the middle of the night, I do not go to him right away any more. I lay there (exhaustedly) and wait about 10 min. If he hasn't stopped crying by then and his crying has escalated, I'll go ahead and get him, nurse him and then put him right back to his bed.

Hope this helps! :D

k

I still think the easiest way to deal with this situation is to slowly put yourself father and farther away from her while she falls asleep. Start by laying down with her. Then move to a chair the next night that is next ot her bed. Then standing at the foot of her bed. No talking, no eye contact, read a book or something. Then move to the doorway and then to the hall with the door open. Then the next night you shut the door. After that I usually spent an hour in my room folding laundry or something, so I would be near them for their comfort. Just another idea for you to consider, hope it helps.

It's definately not too late. It sounds like you already had success with it last night! Cry it out is hard, but I really think it works. It sounds like you did great last night. You may want to consider extending the time tonight to 15 minutes before check in again. Then 20 minutes tomorrow, etc. With my first baby, I did 5 minute increments every night. With my daughter, I had to leave and not go back in at all because as soon as we would go in she would immediately increase her screaming and protesting, and she settled quicker without us going in. Choose what you are comfortable with and just stick to it and in no time she'll be sleeping on her own. Good Luck!

I don't think it is too late, but you have to stick to your guns. My husband caved in when my son was sick & it took us 2 weeks to get him back to were he was. The method we used was - pick up and comfort after 5 minutes, then another 5 , then 10, 10, 15, etc. Our daughter is 5 weeks old today & she has never gotten past the second 5 minutes =O}. Best wishes

J.,
not too late--you are doing great. I've learned to set a timer for ME, because 10 minutes of crying feels like 2 hours.
smiles,
L., 39
Brianna 21m & yes! still bf'ing!
and baby
butterflylindamarie at yahoo dot com

Hi J.

Don't fret, Cry it Out is the only thing that worked for both my boys and I tried everything. The first one would only fall asleep on the breast and then at 9 months i had enough, I could not take it, he needed to learn, He cried one night for at least an hour and then the next night 30 minutes and the next night 15 minutes. The following night no crying, but I heard that it can take up to a week. So just tuck in and go for it. As long as you check in and no talking or touching they realize that you are responding to their needs, but at the same time asserting what you expect.

Hi there - it's not too late to let her cry it out. It may take longer, but eventually she will cry less and less. What you were doing seems fine, going in every time minutes to comfor her. Don't pick her up though, just go in lie her down and try not to talk to her. You are there to give her comfort and reassurance. One thing I would add, as time goes on go in less and less, until you aren't going in at all. She will learn to snuggle herself in. Make sure she has a snuggle toy or favorite blanket. Hang in there - she will fall asleep on her own.

No, it's not too late! You are using the same method we did. It took about a week or so, but it finally worked. Just be patient. She will learn that this is the way it is and give up crying. Each night it should take less time to fall asleep.

And do you feel that she still needs to eat in the middle of the night or she does it because she's used to it? I stopped letting my little guy eat in the middle of the night a few months ago and just rocked him to sleep. At the time neither of us were ready to let him cry it out. He has a scream that will wake the neighbothood. But he finally got the hint and started sleeping through.

Even though it may be breaking your heart now, it will be worth it.

It's never too late... well, I suppose when they walk in and crawl into your bed, it's a bit to late :) but it can always be accomplished if you're firm and stick with it for EVERYONE'S sake. It sounds like you're right on track, with the going in and not picking up but comforting... I bet if you give it a week, max, this will resolve itself quickly!

It is never too late to let your child "cry it out". If you don't do it, she will never learn how to comfort herself and you will never get a full night's sleep. You don't need to go in to check on her either. The more you go in, the longer the crying fits will last. She will be fine.

I did the same thing with my 8 year old when she was a baby until my husband forced me to let her "cry it out". I am so happy that he did that. I was miserable until she finally started going to bed at a decent hour and sleeping through the night. I have two other children, a boy (2) and another girl (13 months). I had a much easier time with these two because I didn't let them rely on me for comfort when it was time for them to sleep.

It will work - hang in there! With my first (now 3.5 and a great sleeper) we did it at like 6 months. I had such guilt about it that with my second I swore I wouldn't let him cry it out. Well now at 14 months he's crying it out because I'm exhausted. We found that after the first few times of going in and checking on him it would prolong the crying. Now when I put him to bed I nurse him and tell him that I'll see him in the morning. He sleeps well for a few weeks and then gets a cold or something and we respond to him and then have to do the whole process all over again. I'm a cry it out advocate though. They are always happy in the morning.

Nope. Not too late. Pick up Ferber's How to Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. It might take you up to two weeks, but you can still teach her how to put herself to sleep. I started my daughter at four and a half months, and it only took three or so days. My sister has an 18 month old and she's being patient with it. Believe it or not, he is able to throw up on command, so it's been a little challenging for her. But Ferber covers that and even if your daughter does that, there's no reason not to continue.

But be sure to pick up the book and read it. It will help you stay steadfast and confident about what you're doing if you start to feel discouraged.

Good luck!

T. :)