Cruise for Teen's ?

Updated on November 17, 2009
J.R. asks from Virginia Beach, VA
19 answers

My 16 1/2 y/o daughter's Girl Scout troop is planning a cruise in 2008.The troop will pay for part while each girl must commit to $900 plus airfare to Florida. Our daughter, KB,is a straight A student and works part time. She is socially immature right now but is beyond her years on other things. I hope that makes sense. At the time of the cruise she will have just graduated HS and be getting ready to go to college. Her dad and I aren't happy with this idea but have said "we'll see" (translates to NO!) Saftey on/off the ship are a concern. I also would not want to take a cruise and have 14 girls between 16-18 on the loose. The troop leader says the buddy system will be in place,no going anywhere without your buddy. We have a list of pro's and con's but would like some other input.
Thanks

What can I do next?

  • Add yourAnswer own comment
  • Ask your own question Add Question
  • Join the Mamapedia community Mamapedia
  • as inappropriate
  • this with your friends

So What Happened?

Wow! Thanks for all of your responses. Luckily we don't have to let the troop leader know if it is a nay or a yea for a few months. With your thoughts the 3 of us can make the best choice for all of us!

Featured Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.C.

answers from Raleigh on

My daughter went on a cruise as a HS freshman with her school's chorus, to the Bahamas. As nerve wracked as I was, everything was fine, they were not running around like crazy and it was expeirence she will never forget. My middle child, who is 12, her GS troop is planning a major trip, a cruise being one of them. I was a leader for years and there are so many regulations that have to be followed, there is NO chance of them just running free. My advice, let her go, have fun. This may be smethig she will never get to do again.

More Answers

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

J.K.

answers from Birmingham on

I don't know your daughter or how she was raised, but if you look at the Natalie Halloway case the "buddy system" doesn't always work. When I was in the military we had the buddy system. I ended up getting raped that night, and that was within US borders. I was also an adult. So sending a barely legel child off into a differnt country where only another barely legal child is watching would not set my fears to ease. The legal drinking age in other countries is lower than it is here. I would hate for something to happen to your child. My younger brother(16) just went on a cruise, but he was with his father. Maybe you could see if you could be allowed to attend to help chaperon. I know that finacial situations don't always allow. but you have aleast a 1 or 2 to think it over, have some good debates, maybe raise the money. If you do decide maybe ask her to try to save up for half or something to give her some pride in knowing she earned it. It is a very difficult decission that needs a lot of thought, I will pray for your family to find what solution is best for you and your family.
J.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

T.L.

answers from Auburn on

What cruise is she going on? If it's carnival or disney. Then I think she'll have the time of her life. I have taken both of my teens with me. Put them in the Camps on the boat..and just made them swear to me that they would not do anything to 'stop the boat". she needs to stay with shore excursions which you rleader should already have this planned out. Go to Carnival. It's not as bad as people think. Me and my husband just returned from one in October to the Bahamas. There is no way anyway can just fall overboard unless they are physically picked up and thrown over or do something stupid and stand on the rail...which is very hard considering you are teetering back and forth. I would feel very safe sending my children on one of these boats in a group setting.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.A.

answers from Spartanburg on

My marching band went on a cruise my sophmore and senior year. We even had middle schoolers who were apart of the band that went. I believe there were about 90 give or take kids and only a handful of chaprones. The cruise line we went on and from what I hear of most others has assinged meal times and tables. When we left the boat we were assigned a certain area we could go normally a beach and one of the markets. As far as drinking the cruise line on board have like a credit card thing where you prepay an X amount that you will spend on board. For those under 21 we got a hole punched in our card stating we can't have alchole. Depending where they are cruising, the Bahamas drinking age is 16, we still were not allowed to purchase or consume any. I believe the only problem we had out of both cruises was on the first one we went through some big storms and nearly everyone got sea sick. But it was so much fun! I think this would be a wonderful trip for you daughter to take with a group of her friends for her senior trip. You have to face the idea that she will be 18 and will be ble to leave the nest. At least with this trip you know who she will be with, that she will be chaparoned, and it will be a wonderful memory to have for the rest of her life.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.

answers from Spartanburg on

Well it comes down to trusting your daughter. Do you think that if she is placed in a situation where she is asked or being pressured to do something that you would not approve of that she would say no or fall to the pressure. There are many cons that can be thought of, older single male passengers, possible drinking, the ports could be unsafe, etc. I would talk with the troop leader because there will need to be more in place than just a buddy system especially if they are leaving the ship. I would think on the ship a buddy system would work just fine, but there should be supervised port visits, and the girls should not be allowed to go off on their own- just for safety. you and your husband are really going to have to put a lot of thought into this and really decide if this is something you want your daughter to do. It would be a fun experience for her before going to college, and she will be a year older at the time of the cruise which will bring just another year of maturity. I would also decide on a portion for her to pay, if she is working she should be able to pay for her 1/2 of your family's half for the trip. And if you still don't feel comfortable with her going, but would like her to go, consider going on the cruise yourself. That way you could provide extra supervision.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.J.

answers from Mobile on

You've probably asked all these questions, but I'd ask them for more info. Has this girl scout troop had successful cruises in the past? What problems came up and what steps have been taken to prevent future incidents from happening? Is the cruise line one of the family-friendly ones with lots of planned activities for teenagers? How does the cruise line card for alcoholic beverages? How many adults will be going? Is there any way you could go on the cruise as one of the chaperones? That would be a good way to keep an eye out for your daughter as well as the other girls on the trip.

I also remember a class trip I went on when I was a senior in high school and it was very organized but there was very little actual supervision going on. If her troop has done this before and shown they can be responsible, it's likely her trip will be one of the best experiences of her life!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

K.H.

answers from Richmond on

in a word.. NO!
very, very bad ideal !! even if the girl where very
mature for her age, teenagers are typically easily
lead astray by their friends and they dont tend to see the cute guy they meet in the lounge for the potential rapist
or kidnapper that he may well be. plus, there is the legal
issue of the fact that she will turn 18 before she goes on this cruise, which legally means that if she disappears while she is gone, the cruise line is under no obligation
to pick up the phone and tell you. she will legally be an adult. of course you could go with her, just to be on the safe side.. if she balks at that, just tell her she cant go or she can go but.. she will have to pay for everything
herself. wealthy arab men pay vast sums of money for
pretty american girls that disappear off of cruise ships
K. h.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.D.

answers from Columbia on

I went to Cancun between my Jr and Sr yr of high school. I was responsible but also went with my bf (now dh) but the things I saw I would be scared to let my kids go.

That said though do you plan on actually letting her go to college or are you planning on making her go locally and living at home? I think by the time they graduate HS they have to be able to make their own decisions. 18 yr olds go away to college basically running their own life/living on their own every day. There is dorm supervision but not life supervision. So I think that is something I would take into consideration. I guess I would also consider how responsible the buddy is as well b/c great minds can think alike and do well or they can plot trouble together and egg each other on. Think back to being a teenager though there is just as huge a difference between a 16 and 18 yr old and there is between a 1 and 3 yr old b/c so much growing goes on during those years

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

R.C.

answers from Asheville on

At the time in question your daughter will be an adult? or pretty darn close to it. Eventually you have to let go. I moved to college when I was 17. COLLEGE at a major state University! You are going to have to trust her. She is an adult, or pretty close to it. I know my parents were terrified at letting me move two hours a way from them when I was only 17. Granted I was living on campus in an all girls dorm, we had no supervision. But, you know what, I learned a lot that year, as your daughter will on her trip. You have to learn to let go and learn to trust. She sounds like a good girl, with a smart brain. Let her show you how good she can be. Imagine the memories she'll have of this wonderful experience.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

D.B.

answers from Richmond on

I'd go with your gut on this one. You know your daughter better than anyone else and if you have a bad feeling about her going, I would keep her home.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

E.W.

answers from Columbia on

Your daughter sounds like she's got a good head on her shoulders and she seems very responsible for a girl her age. You have no reason not to trust that she'll make good decisions!! This is the age when she'll really want to start being independent, and the more you fight that, the harder it will be on both of you. Do you really want her to act like a teenager forever and rely on you to keep her safe? No, because you'll end up with a 40 year old daughter living at home. You have to let go sometime, and if 18 years old is too soon for you, then I'm not sure you'll ever be ready. Let her go and have fun!

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Jennifer, something you must know is that once a ship pulls away from its dock, it is no longer in the united states, and if anything happens to your daughter, no one in the united states will help you. I dont want to freak you out, but many women and children get killed, go missing or get raped on cruises everyday, and the fbi refuse to help investigate or help in any way. I wouldnt let her go, but instead plan a graduation party at your home, or something special where you can monitor what is happening.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

S.H.

answers from Charlotte on

It seems like your daughter is very intelligent and trustworthy, she will also be a young adult at the time of the cruise and I think you should trust her and give her some independence, if it bothers you that something might happen plan a trip to go with her and make a family vacation for the rest of the family as well, but we all know that eventually you have to loosen the ties a little, she has to make some decisions as a young adult someday, what do you think.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.G.

answers from Norfolk on

coming from a mother who was your daughter's age less than ten years ago (much less, i suppose), i would say let her go. she seems like a good girl (not many hang on to the girl scouts for so long), and doesn't sound like one of those girls that can't be trusted.....which i know sounds bad, and i apologize to anyone who may read and think such. by her description, she seems to be a solid and reliable girl. plus, she'll be of age, it's something she should be allowed to do. you don't get to live so much as you get older, without some kind of restraints or things to occupy your mind (ie work, family, bills).....this will be the first if not only chance for her to really enjoy herself before college and see the world. at least you're not setting her loose in europe, or to mardi gras, and i doubt the girl scouts would place her in a compromising environment. good luck, you've got quite some time ahead of you!
:)

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

M.G.

answers from Gadsden on

I think that this is a wonderful opportunity for her. When I was 16, the summer of my junior year, my parents let me study abroad in Spain the entire summer. It was the best experience in my whole life. I stayed with a family and I grew up a lot. It meant the world to me that my parents trusted me. I think going on a cruise would show her how much you trust her and would be a great experience before she went off to college. If you really don't think she is ready, or really don't feel comfortable, maybe you can all go on a cruise together. However, with as much pride I feel that you have of your daughter,this would be a good thing. My senior class was able to go on a trip to the bahamas---and all of them had a blast. I didn't get to go to that one....course it was the summer after my study abroad lol, so I know why.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.S.

answers from Charlotte on

I think it is all based on how much you trust your daughter to make the right decisions. Since she is a senior and will be going to college, you will not be able to contol everything she does anymore. I think this would be a great opportunity for her to be on her own for some time and for you to be able to evaluate how well she will do without total supervison (which she wont have in college). I think this is a great opportunity for her to be able to travel and see other parts of the world on the cruise.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

A.

answers from Charleston on

I'll try this agin (my computer went crazy). I went on a cruise to the Bahamas and Puerto Rico with my girl scout troop the summer before my senior year of high school. I think I was 17. I don't know if I would let my own daughter go or not based on the way some of our troop members behaved. We were totally unsupervised. I, like your daughter, was a straight A, straight laced student, and didn't do anything particularly bad, but there were only two of us that "behaved" out of the whole troop. While you are supposed to be 18 to drink on the ship, most of the girls ordered drinks without being carded (with the exception of two of us). Our ship's waiters took us to a bar in Puerto Rico, and some of the girls went across to the other side of St. Thomas to a secluded beach with some of the staff members from the ship. Me and a couple of other girls stayed in the "touristy" part of the island (but probably would have gone had we been in the right place at the right time). As far as I know nothing inappropriate happened. THe scary thing to me is that something could have happened. They got lucky that the guys they went with were nice. One of my friend's got sick and puked in one of the public bathrooms on the ship. Our parents let us go on that cruise thinking that we were going to be on a nice clean supervised girl scout trip, and as far as I'm concerned, our leader let them down.

That being said, we had a really good time and I'll never forget it. Two of us did behave ourselves and still had a good time. Maybe your daughter is like me and won't participate in things she shouldn't. (Granted, even though I "behaved" for the most part, I still went to the bar with them even though I didn't drink). Maybe her leader has more control over the troop, and maybe her friends have more self control than mine did. Don't assume that your daughter won't behave, because she might.

That's my input. I would make sure that you really trust the leader before letting her go. My daughter is only 11 months, so I have awhile before I have to make these decisions.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

B.L.

answers from Jacksonville on

It sounds like your intuition is telling you this may not be a good idea. Natalie Holloway comes to mind. It might be a better idea to send her to stay with relatives that she likes that are far away (like an aunt with cousins, or grandma) for a week, if you think it would be good for her maturity to be away from mom and dad a bit. I know too many kids who were never away from their parents and couldn't handle going to college or leaving home, but I don't think this girl scout trip sounds like a good idea either. Ultimately, trust your inner voice.

Smallavatar-fefd015f3e6a23a79637b7ec8e9ddaa6

L.B.

answers from Norfolk on

Hi, I am an almost 42 y/o mom of a 19 year old and a grandma of a 9 mo.old. My husband and I went through something similiar when our daughter was 16. However, it wasn't a cruise. My daughter wanted to travel to New York, alone, on a plane and stay a week with friends (alone). She had never been on a plane before or even away from Hampton Roads. I wanted to say no but my husband bought the plane ticket and off she went. I have to say, it was a wonderful growing expereice for her(I had my doubts as well if she was ready to be on her own on vacation). I was worried the whole time, with the terrorism in the airports/planes and being in New York alone but she did very well and even went to Niagra Falls as part of her trip. She came home with a new attitude toward family and responsibilty. I guess my advice would be, If you are absolutely uneasy and set against the cruise (I think I would be too), maybe you could compromise. Do you have friends or family (or does your daughter have an out of town friend that you know their parents)that live out of town that your daughter could fly to see or go by train or bus (bus if there are no lay overs in other bus stations!)? She would get the experirence of traveling, some independence before going off to college, but would be closer to home and your minds would be more at ease. I'm always leery of the buddy system that the troop leader talks about. sometimes, 2 heads together can come up with more trouble (although it is safer to be in numbers. Is their buddy system "3" girls together versus 2?. Sometimes the thrid girl can be the more mature deciding factor on decisions made within their group). Good luck and what ever you decide, it will be the right decision for you and your family. Go with your gut feelings. But consider a compromise vacation instead.
L. B
Norfolk

For Updates and Special Promotions
Follow Us

Related Questions