CRISIS - Husband Out of Work for 2 Months

Updated on December 01, 2006
J.R. asks from Bellevue, NE
11 answers

Does anyone have any suggestions on how to balance full-time work, a 2 year old little boy and taking care of a husband who broke his leg and will be out of work for the next 2 months? My time management skills are obviously lacking. My husband is just now in his 2nd week of his two month hiatus from his job and I'm EXHAUSTED! He is bed-ridden (except for using the toilet) due to the drastic nature of his injuries. Any suggestions on how you manage time/chores and still have quality time with my son would be greatly appreciated.

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So What Happened?

Thanks, everyone for the great responses!! I have a bunch of tips and ideas now to make things run a little more smoothly and give myself the occasional and necessary "mommy break" while still getting the quality time with my son. Jimmy has already taken to the idea of being daddy's little helper and he's so proud to be able to help. He's just starting to talk and he walked up to my husband last night and very innocently asked, "Hepp, Daddy?" It also helps to just know that others understand your predicament. I'm not ACTUALLY going crazy - it just feels like it! That which does not kill us..... And, thanks to all of those whose responses were based on the experience, some of whom are dealing with much worse situations than ours. :)

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C.H.

answers from Lincoln on

IF you can afford to. Hire a maid least on a temporary basis. Or hire a babysitter / nanny.

Hope this helps.

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J.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

this may or may not be a helpful suggestion, but take one night a week (i take Sats usually) shove the tv in the bathroom, with a movie, run a hot bath with salts, oils - anything smelly, candles, whatever, and take time to rejuvenate and have 'you' time. If baths arent ur thing, do whatever u enjoy as long as you do it at one night a week and for more than 30 mins. Take a few hours - trust me, that way you stay sane enough for everyone.
And as for quality time with your little boy, throw a bunch of blankets over the couch / chairs which ever you have and built a "tent" fill it with books, toys, snacks. perhaps a movie, and relax. You dont always have to run around to get quality time in.
HTH.

1 mom found this helpful
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F.H.

answers from Portland on

Kudos to you for surviving this long. Maybe you could have your little boy help your husband, too. Also, using baby monitors with your husband would be a great way to check up on him without having to traipse back and forth. When my family was taking care of my ailing mother, that is what we did. I had four children, my sick brother, and my dying mother and it was chaos, but we made it through. Just keep your chin up and let your husband know if he's getting excessive. He can learn to be helpful while in bed. :)

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S.

answers from Las Vegas on

I am assuming you have vacation time or personal PTO at work? Could you take 1 day off per week for a few weeks? Maybe a reduced work week would help you have one day to run errands, get household chores done or allow time for a fun activity with you son. I have one day a week that my kids go to a sitter for a few hours...it really helps knowing that I can let things go at home since I have that time blocked out for chores, cleaning and errands. Good Luck!

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J.

answers from Portland on

I don't have any experience with this, but I think I would seriously consider getting a housekeeper once a week until your hubby is back on his feet again. I would also look into one of those ready made dinner businesses to get the freezer stocked so you're not having to stress over groceries and meal planning. I find that making a schedule for myself is helpful, too, so that I focus on the real priorities and necessities instead of cluttering my time with other things. Good luck- and I agree with the other respondant- ask for help from family and friends. That's what they are there for!

Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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J.M.

answers from Omaha on

Don't be afraid to ask your friends to help. Also, remember, if the laundry doesn't get done, the world will not end. If the dishes don't get done, your kitchen might smell a little funny, but your son will be happier that you read him that stack of books, than if your kitchen is sparkly. Also, Jimmy's godmother would love to give you a break some time. Please ask her!

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L.B.

answers from Anchorage on

hi J., i truely feel for you, its exausting as it is with two parents working and still trying to find the time to get things done. does any of the grandma's work maybe they can take turns staying for a week each to help. you didnt say whether your son is in daycare normaly when you both were working, but if that the case that would be good. if you belong to a church maybe you can post needing help or have your minister announce it .you would be surprised that you would get so much help. if not try and make your self a schedule sometimes when you see it on paper it seems to be a little easier. good luck sweety dont be ashamed to ask for help.

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A.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Oh, you poor thing. I'm exhausted just reading your post.

Do you have any friends or neighbors that could watch your son, help out your husband, and/or help with the chores so you can take a breather when you do have a day off? Maybe offer them to take them out for lunch someday after your husband has recovered or bake cookies as a thank you. Most people are typical generous once they hear your plight and will be helpful without wanting something. You need some time for yourself as well or you will be thoroughly burned out.

For chores, have you discovered the Magic Eraser? It makes cleaning the tub and other areas very easy. I do not use Comet anymore. I love the Magic Eraser, most stores sell them, Wal-mart price is good. It takes crayon marks off most everything, even the carpet (having a little one, you understand). My daughter just turned 3.
You may just have to say heck with the chores once in awhile and just take the time for yourself and your son. Go to the park/playground, take a chair, and a picnic lunch or snacks. Breath in fresh air and relax and have fun with your son. I love doing this with my daughter. Also, since your husband is bed-ridden rent some really good family movies and have a movie night. Buy a $5 pizza from Little Caesar', pop some popcorn and enjoy some good movies.
I wish you the best of luck and relaxtion. Take it easy and before you know it your husband will be back to normal.
Aloha from A. (I'm from Hawaii originally, I have 1 daughter (3yrs old) and married)

1 mom found this helpful
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S.B.

answers from Portland on

J. ~
I know what you're going through. My husband just had to have surgery on his neck and hip and is also off work for 2 months. He, funny enough, is also in his second week. Do you have any family that can come in and give you a break? I found that routine really helped me. And putting my 2 yr old to bed was the real quality time I had with her. I also forge one hour in the morning and one in the afternoon into my schedule and tell my husband that this is Larabelle's time and he'll just have to wait. If she has to wait on him, then he can wait on her, it's only fair. I hope this has helped. I know that just knowing someone else understands what you're going through can be helpful. If you get into a financial bind, I have some resources that can maybe help you out. Just send me an email at ____@____.com if you would like those resources. I hope this helps. God Bless.
~ S.

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A.F.

answers from Boise on

I dont know if it would work for you but have you considered outsourcing some of your duties; housekeeper, temporary nanny, or a delivery service to deliver groceries may be helpful at this time.

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J.

answers from Salt Lake City on

Man, I thought I was tired! You are a real trooper for hanging in there and trying to find positive ways to get through this. I would ask anyone, family, friends, etc. for meals during this time, and I would try to see if you can come into work a bit later than normal. Those are my two most trying times--getting out the door in the morning, and getting food on the table at the end of the day. Good luck to you, I think it's great if the little guy can start helping and develop empathy towards those in pain (poor dad!).

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