Crib to a Bed - Strange Happenings

My two year old does the same thing---except climbing on the dresser. I keep his toys on the top shelf of the closet. He seems to be outgrowing it a little though because I have started keeping larger toys on the floor of his closet and he doesn't get them out anymore. I also put an art easel in his room and he doesn't mess with that most of the time. He does sleep with all his stuffed animals. There does always seem to be the next new thing to mess with though because now he is getting in his sister's crib instead. I would agree that she'll probably get over it but maybe you could try and clear the dresser etc until the meantime. :)

My four year old sleeps with his trains and his train tracks as well as a bunch of stuffed animals. He has a bunk bed, and sometimes if he gets up in the middle of the night to use the bathroom he'll climb into the top bunk rather than try to squeeze into the bottom bunk!

I think the toys-in-the-bed thing is completely normal - though it sounds like your little girl has an awful lot of toys. To minimize the number of toys in my son's bed, we decided to minimize the number of toys in his bedroom. We put a toy box in the living room and he keeps a lot of his toys in there. The trains are the "super special toys" and he transports them in his little suitcase. Otherwise, he has stuffed animals and his books in his bedroom now.

If you're worried about safety, don't have items on top of her dresser (or anywhere she will have to perform acrobatics to get them). If you want to cut down on the toys in her bed, cut down on the toys in her room.

(We started toy time-out for toys that don't get picked up. If they're on the floor when my little guy goes to bed, I scoop 'em up and put them in a bin up in the closet. When the bin gets full, I switch the toys out and start the process again. My house is cleaner - there are fewer toys cluttering up the place and he's excited about the return of the toys.)

can you keep her toys in another room? tell her it's her special playroom? if you're worried about her climbing, maybe just bring them down so that if she does insist on having them, she at least won't get hurt in the process. if she's not in danger of hurting herself sleeping with all these toys, what's the big deal?

ahh... if she is not uncomfortable with the stuff in her bed, let her have them with her.. she will outgrow this phase... you do need to make it very clear she cannot climb up the dresser though.. but make sure there is nothing on top of the dresser she wants down. and what is up there (lamp) is very much off limits.

I see no harm in her having the stuff in bed with her and think she will outgrow it eventually. but the safety issues do need to be addressed. I think if you go ahead and let her have her toys/dress up/books she may stop the dresser climbing. She will only be a kid once and if you give her some slack for the toy in the bed thing... she may back off and not have as many things with her.

It is like one of those "pick your battles" things.. you have to weigh out does it really matter if she has the toys as long as she is sleeping with them in the bed? You wouldn't like it for yourself.. but if it doesn't bother her.. why not let her.. there are other more serious things you could put your physical/mental energy towards.. like teaching her that climbing her dresser is NOT safe.

My daughter liked to get up and play with her toys instead of going to sleep, when we did the transition. So what we did is we tried to find a way to keep her toys in a different room than her bedroom. That way she has to come out of her room to play with them, and we are more likely to hear her and take care of the issue. You could try something like this to see if it works for you. Good luck!

Any bigger fish to fry? If there aren't any safety issues besides climbing (mine seems to do that no matter what), I am not sure what your concern really is. I agree rules must be followed but you might want to consider why you have the rule. I would definitely have her put them away in the morning. My 6 year old still likes various toys with him. Sometimes 1, sometimes 4, sometimes none. Just no pokey items or toys with straps.... I hope you realize how lucky you are if this is your greatest challenge for the time being. Good luck and I hope it works out to be win-win!

No advice but I think that is so cute!!

Hi L.,

First of all, I have to say that I read this post and cracked up laughing. I was mostly laughing because my child is starting this stage and is 2 on the 27th of this month. She has 3 favorite toys, but has now begun adding more every week. When we only want to take one toy with us, we tell her the other ones need to sleep or nap. This usually works to pacify her.

I have to say that I do not personally think it is a control issue. I have a couple of questions. The first is when she makes a mess with her toys, do you clean them up, or do you have her do it? I ask this because when we clean up dolls or toys for our children it can sometimes cause a fear that they are being taken away instead of put away. Our daughter sleeps in a great big chair in her room most nights instead of her toddler bed. She surrounds herself with stuffed animals in the chair. It is partially because she loves them and because it helps ease her fear of being alone.

I can understand that fear because, and you will probably laugh, but my husband and I both sleep with a stuffed animal still. LOL It just helps us sleep better. :) The second question is this, is there any reason your child would not feel safe and secure in her room? I ask this because if you are afraid, she will pick up on that because all children do.

I think seperating toys is a great idea as long as you explain it to the child. I do not think it should be a punishment, because you should not punish a child. You should only discipline a child because punishment generally comes from anger or fear and discipline is done to teach a child to know right from wrong and how not to get hurt and not to hurt others.

We have several toy boxes and a toy shelf all in different rooms. We explain that each toy has a home and must stay in its home. That helps our daughter realize where things go.In fact, soon we are going to gather some toys and give them away because she has so many. We plan for more children, but kids who don't have toys need those more. She will then see how important it is to give and love and share. :)

Another thing to consider is it is possble that she is doing this for attention purposes. Even if she gets negative attention, it is still attention. She is most likely pushing the envelope to see just how much she can get away with. This is very common, and generally a child calling a parent to discipline if needed. For example, you could allow her to pick certain toys to sleep with once in a while, and store the others elsewhere. That would teach her that she does not NEED all the toys with her, even if she feels she wants them, or that they need her.

Also, I will say that praying with our child puts her at ease. She never has nightmares or anything. If you are spiritual, that is something to consider. :)

Children understand so much more than any of us credit them for. You are a good mom and sound very devoted to her safety and well being. Trust your instincts because they will lead you in the right direction. :)

Blessings,

Katherine

Ask her why her TOYS want to sleep with her. Her answer my help you find a soultion to the problem. best of luck. J.

i would make sure there arent things arround her dresser to help her climb it - and if she is using the drawers to open and climb up use those baby safe drawer locks -
other than that i dont have advise - we took our daughter out of her crib at 22 months because she stacked all her toys up in a pile so she could climb them and jump out of her crib.

Hi L.,

I am a mom of 6 kids, my youngest is 3 yrs old. I also am a Grandma to 4 granddaughters. I had the same problems with all my kids at that age. I removed all toys that they could hurt thems on. I would take a blanket and put it on the floor right next to the bed. I would let them place all the toys that needed to have a bedtime. Only 1 or 2 favorite toys (mostly books) could go into their bed. I let them know if they play with the toys. The toys will go night night in another room. I don't force them to go to sleep, I tell them that it is time to be very quite and they need to rest there bodies so they can grow bigger. Depending on how wound up they are on how long it take them to go to sleep. You may need to find other ways to help your child through this stage. each child is different. and remember to be patent it may take awhile to work. They do out grow this.

Hi L.:
I too stuck with the one little bundle, and got a pretty late start (at least it was considered late in 1980) at 28.

My son was exactly like your little critter (as the pediatrician I work for would put it). Everything went in the bed, and he was a real climber too. He never wanted to go to bed and would try anything for a stall, and he was very inventive, like your little girl.

Sounds like she is a really creative type. If I were you I'd be kind but firm. Set some guidelines. Children need this--they need to know that you (or the sitter) are the adults and entitled to make rules.

Sounds like you adore your daughter, but don't let her get the upper hand. Meanwhile, take a tip from an ancient crone--they grow up fast (I'm sure everyone tells you this) and they grow up fine if you love them and trust your instincts. Dr. Spock said it in the fifties, Berry Brazelton said it in the 90's, and it's still the best horse sense going. Bet on yourself--you're a winner!

Hey, sounds like my daughter. She loves her 'babies' and will play after bedtime to stay up as late as she can. She has SO many toys on her bed and there are always more in the morning then when the last time I checked before bed.

All toys, besides a few stuffed animals that we keep on the bed are kept in the closet. At bedtime we move about half of the stuffed animals to the bottom of the bed or the floor (she has a twin sized bed). If she doesn't follow the rules we remove the toys from her room. This punishment has helped with all the rules she likes to test. She is almost 6 (4 days), but we have been doing this since she was about 3.

Good luck!

Hi L.,

This is clearly a control issue. She feels safe and in control when she has her belongings with her. As it is a safety issue, you might make her the authoritarian and when she tells you that her toys want to come to bed with her, you might tell her that she needs to tell her toys that they must stay where they are...it is safer. If you make her feel like a grown up telling her toys they must stay put that might work.

Congratulations to you on trying so many inventive ideas. I love that you are so engaged!

Good luck!
T.