My 15 month old daughter fights me like crazy when it is nap time. Some days it takes me 15 minutes to get her down and others we struggle for over 30 minutes and I just give up. The CIO method does not work for us. We have tried and tried and it just escalates into a worse mess. Nighttime is ok and we really don't have issues. She sleeps about 11 to 12 hours at night. I know she is tired and gets so whiney in the evening if she doesn't nap. I am just wondering if any other moms struggle with naps like I do and what you do to make it easier.
Thank you so much for the wealth of advice. I have read each and every one of the post. I appreciate it. I am glad that I am not the only one out there going thru this "cycle." There are so many awesome ideas that you have provided. I never thought I would get this much response.
We are still having issues and I am trying pretty much anything and everything. She is just a strong willed child, but luckily I realize that and don't tend to cave easily. My goal is just to remain consistant and diligent and pray that this is just a phase she is going thru. When I say I have tried it all, I have. Yesterday I was just so tired that I just put her in her crib with toys and books and said quiet time and left. Since I have never done that before, I sat in my room and cried. It lasted about 30 mins where she kept herself entertained and quiet but didn't fall asleep. And after 30 mins, she started jumping in her crib and screaming. I gave it 15 more minutes and that was it. I had to go to the post office, and of course she fell right to sleep. I do not like to use this as an aid, but I had to get an errand done. Anyhow,Like I mentioned before, CIO doesn't work for us and almost has the reverse affect, my daughter gets more worked up to the point of throwing up and then it takes me an hour to calm her down. To me, that is not a way I can parent.
I am just praying this is a phase. She just started walking two weeks ago, seems to be getting more teeth, is probably bored because we live in the NW and it rains too much, and just about the time I figure it out, she will have change the game plan again.
My 17 month old started exactly the same thing at about 14 months- until I made a point planning more stimulating activities in the AM. Playdates, Gymboree class, or even just putting on some great music while she follows me around the house to "help" with housework.
My kids both tried to give up their nap early (around age 2) and I resisted and am happy to say they both still nap now at age 3 1/2 (I have twins). I did have to separate them (not an issue for you, but maybe other mothers reading this with twins). They were the same way with whining when they didn't have it, so I knew they were tired. I gave them a board book and told them to read it in bed quietly to their stuffed animal as a nap-nap story because the animal was really tired and needed help getting to sleep. Eventually they fell asleep on their own doing this. A friend of mine had to use crib tents as her child tried to climb out of the crib, and play with other toys, but would fall asleep if in the tent with a board book. Every child is different, so I hope this helps. From what you describe though it sounds like she still needs it and I think most kids nap or at least have a "quiet time" in their room until Kindergarten.
Well if she is sleeping that long at night, she might not need a nap. Also, if you are trying to get her to take a nap in her bed, she might think it's night night time and not just nap time. My sister had this same problem with my nice. Her doctor told her when she gets up in the morning let her take her pillow and blanket with her. When she starts feeling sleepy let HER lay down where ever. Be for you knew it my nice was taking a nap where she laid down. I know it sounds crazy, but it worked. No fighting with her, and my sister was relived.
I have a 17 month old daughter that REFUSES to sleep in her crib during the day. She has since she was born. She also does well sleeping at night, just not during the day. I learned that when she would get tired she would fall asleep in her high chair (not the best place...) or her stroller. The stroller has worked out to be the best place for naptime because I can set her up watching Seseme Street or Baby Einstein and she is out like a light soon after and now sleeps @ naptime for 2 hours+, which I'm sure you know is very valuable mommy time!
I hope this helps with ideas. :) Good luck!
You cannot make a child nap. But you can create a structure that encourages it. A fifteen month old is old enough to understand some general commands, and to do what mommy says. This is a typical age to start testing limits. So, naps come first. She knows you can't physically make her sleep, so she's going to see what happens.
But there are some things that you can make her do, and if you start there, eventually you may have less of a struggle at nap time. Start in unrelated areas. Gently let her know that what mommy says, goes. For example, you give her apple juice, but she wants milk. Let her know that this time, mommy thinks apple juice is best for her. If she's thirsty, she gets juice. Or, you want her in the stroller and she wants out. Let her know that this time it's not going to work for mommy to carry her. So, in the stroller she stays. (Even if she cries.)
You are sending her a message: "Hey, mommy only wants what is best for you and she's willing to do it, even if you don't like it."
These are issues you can control. She can't have milk unless you say so. She can't get out of the stroller unless you unbuckle it. She will learn that mommy has the authority to make decisions and she must comply. Then, when it comes to issues that you cannot control, like naps, she will be more likely to do what you wish. She respects your authority.
In the meantime, make sure you are at home every day for about two weeks at nap time. Put her down at around the same time every day.
It may continue to be a struggle. Be patient. Even if she never turns out to be an easy napper, you are giving her the service of letting her know you care enough to insist on what's good for her.
my daughter is 18mths and it has been the same for me since about 15mths also. i just let her chose. sometimes she will go right to sleep and others she just plays for an hour. if she isnt in the bed by 2pm then she just doesnt get a nap. she gets whiny too. i am not sure that it is all because of no nap though. i also agree with judy v
Hi, Grandma Jan here. I raised 2 strong-willed little girls and nap time started out as a serious problem. I resolved it this way. I bought a special(soft) dolly and named her 'nappy'. This doll only came off the top shelf at nap time and went back on the shelf when the girls woke up. When they got older they had special books that they looked at while laying down. These books were treated the same way as nappy. They usually fell asleep while looking at the books. As they grew older and ceased to fall asleep--the quiet reading time was good for both of us. Good luck.
I went through that with my middle son. What helped us was to put a favorite cd in the player in his room. It was about 1 hour long. I told him he just needed to lay down while the music was on and could get up when it was over, he didn't have to go to sleep. It worked great! He felt like he had some control over naptime and wasn't always wondering if he could "get up now". He would lay quietly and listen sometimes he would fall asleep and sometimes not but, he got his rest and I got quiet time!
I also agree with Michelle S. If she knows that you will give in after a while of crying, of course she will throw a fit! Let her cry, go sit on the front porch so you can't hear or listen to your MP3 player. If she is in her crib, you know she is safe. It will take a few days but, she will learn.
Hope this helps!
She is your first and only child so far. Do like all other moms say and wish they had, nap when she naps, cuddle with her. Take the time to rock her to sleep or sit in a chair in her room and read her to sleep-even if it is a magazine or book that you are currently reading. So long as it isn't something you don't want her to hear. I am the mother of 5 kids my oldest is 6 years old my youngest is not quite 2 months old, don't give up on naptime yet. Even if she is just in her crib for 1 hour-so long as she is not hysterical- of quiet time she will figure it out that she needs to sleep or at least rest.
My son was a little busy body and never wanted to miss out on what was going on so he fought napping. Like the other mom responses, though, it was painfully obvious that he still needed one because he was just so downright unpleasant by the time late afternoon rolled around. I would lay down with him and put my hand somewhere on him (on his back,leg, even just his foot) because 1) if I was right there, he knew he was not missing out on anything and 2) He would lay there and wiggle and fidget trying to keep himself awake. Sometimes I would have to remind him to stop wiggling. Normally, he was asleep within five minutes of actually getting still. I then could go and have my own quiet time or some days I took a nap too which made us both feel a whole lot more pleasant for the rest of the day. If this does not work, keep trying until you find something that works. If she is tired and grumpy, she needs a nap whether she wants one or not.
A. here. I have 3 boys and one thing I learned with my first was that I need the quiet time more than he seemed to. Here is what finally worked. Getting him up 1 hour earlier and running his fanny off all morning. then whether he napped or not he needed quiet time in his own space. Most of the time though he did nap. At about 2 we started gymnastics and that was so awesome! He needed the activity so bad. To this day(he's 10 now) he does much better if I get him out and busy, swimming, bball or bike. He loves snowboarding too.
Sorry gotta run, 3 year old is puking
Hi there. I am a Mom of 4 and a grandmother of 3. Trust me, she needs that nap as much as you need the break. Sometimes just making a consistance routine helps. The trick with my grandson is to give him a good lunch and then a warm bath before his nap. Good luck, each child is a little different, but routine is key.
My daughter is 2 1/2 and I still use a routine to get her down for a nap. It's not as involved as her bedtime routine, but there's a pattern to it. Usually shortly after lunch, I tell she'll be taking a nap soon. I let her watch a short movie... it's the only one during the day that she usually watches. If she's still awake when the movie is over, I go in and cuddle her to sleep. Some people might caution against cuddling to sleep, but I have chosen to cherish these times. Sometimes she's out right after crawling into my arms. Other times, it takes some rocking and singing for 15 minutes or so. I have come to love those precious 15 minutes out of my day, afternoon and evening, because I know one day she'll be too big to hold. At night, we put her jammies on, brush her teeth, daddy reads her 5-6 short stories, we pray together, then I hold her (used to nurse her) for 15-20 minutes singing and talking to her about her day (mostly me talking, but she listens!). If she doesn't fall asleep in my arms, then I lay her in bed. Sometimes she'll call me in or crawl out of bed a few times. I just put her back or threaten to take away her pacifier or something else important if she doesn't settle down. I did that even when she was your daughter's age. Last night, she was having a hard time with her cold and kept fussing, so her daddy went in and they ended up falling asleep together in her bed. So Sweet! Just cherish these precious times. There's a time to let them cry and a time to hold them. Bed times should be a calm and happy and peaceful time. Enjoy!
A., Some children naturally quit taking naps at younger ages. I am a mom of 5 and have a range from big sleepers as much as they can get to no sleep at all. the best thing to do is to just set a quiet time. Put her in her room and let her play or look at books but let her know it is quiet time and this is where she needs to stay for the next hour or so. this way it is not a fight with both of you and you still get the much needed quiet time for you. I have 2 year old boy/girl twins and my son takes fine naps but my daughter doesn't sleep at all but she stays in her room and plays during nap time. good luck hope this helps
I'd be pretty amazed if a 15 month old was ready to give up all naps. I have two children, 3 and 1, and it's been my experience that when sleep problems are occuring it's usually because either they aren't getting enough sleep or they're going through some new developmental milestone and will be sleeping again soon.
You might try putting her to bed earlier for a night or two and see if that helps. Also, the book Healthy Sleep Habit, Happy Child has a lot of information regarding when children typically give up naps and how many hours they should be sleeping at night. I still use this resource.
15 months is a little early for giving up the nap, but perhaps your daughter needs to nap at a different time of day. (At this age they're growing so fast, it seems as if you've got a different kid every week.) My advice would be to observe her closely so she can tell you through her mood and behavior when she's tired. Once you get a handle on when that "window of opportunity" is you may have a new nap time. Let me know how it works out.
I gave up on my middle when she was two. My oldest napped until he was 6! My middle had to observe quiet time but I didn't make her go to bed. She could sit in the living room or her room and 'read' or something until I got her 'up'. We started by doing the regular nap time thing and telling her she didn't have to sleep but just be supper quiet and read or talk to her animals. She would put her teddy to bed and read it stories and get mad and put him back to bed. After a couple of weeks she got used to it and to this day still will go to her room for an hour and read (she's 12)!
My son is a difficult napper as well... timing is of the essence. We are now three and just giving up our nap (after years of struggling). My advice is to truly watch for signs of tiredness and dont miss your window. At 15 months we were down for nap by noon every day and often as early as 10:30. I often would sit and not talk in the room to get him down. this of course results in an early bedtime but gave my husband and I evening time together!
It's been a long time since I've dealt with naps, but here's what worked for me. When my daughter started saying she was too big for naps I said OK but you have to stay on the bed, if you don't sleep it's alright. You can have one toy or a book. Within 15 minutes she was asleep. When she didn't want to lay on the bed, then I said she had to stay in her room on her special blanket, again with one book or toy of her choice. She usually went to sleep. By the way, nap time is for Mom's too!
We have naptime troubles at times still and my daugheter is 20 months old.When she doesn't go down for a nap we usually just let her lay in bed with her couple of care bears she must have with her at all times and she'll play quietly and talk to them.Sometimes she'll pass out and other times she'll just lay in there playing for an hour or so but seems a bit rested afterwards.When she quietly plays we just let her do it until she's calling for someone and quiet time is obviously over.I prefer she has a nap but when it's not possible I'm at least happy for the quiet time and we just watch her more for the grumpyness and if need be put her to bed a little early.
Most children are not ready for no naps until AT LEAST 3 years old. Even as adults we benefit from taking an afternoon rest. She is probably overtired and that is why she fights you. She may need some more transition time before you lay her down. Cuddling, rocking ect. I recently read a really great book called Sleepless in america that talks all abouts sleep and how being overtired, how they get the urge to resist sleep eventhough they are ready for sleep, body clocks and how to move children's nap and bed times. I really liked reading it and found it interesting and not boring and it really made sense.
My oldest son, now almost 20, gave up naps at 17 months. It was a struggle to get him to lay down. We had troubles just like the troubles you are describing. After talking with his doctor, we moved dinner time up a little and put him to bed at night a little earlier and the struggles stopped. He was able to get the sleep he needed at night and our afternoons were much more pleasent.
If, in the afternoons, he seemed tired after that, we would have a little quite time. We would snuggle on the couch or floor with books and after about 15 to 30 minutes he was refreshed and ready to go.
Every childs sleep needs are different, just like adults.
Ugh, went through the same thing with my now 4 year old. I tried skipping naps and that made evenings horrible. Our doctor said not to eliminate naps yet. It took a week or so of fighting him before he got back into the groove of nap time. Luckily he is still taking naps! :) Perseverence! Sorry there isn't a miracle cure!
We went through this at 15 months also... weird! We also had a good night sleeper (11-12 hours and two naps a day) but he had just stopped breastfeeding so there were a lot of changes around that time. We battled nap time for over a year and now he doesn't have one but still really needs one. If he gets a nap then he won't go to bed until 11pm or 1am... it's AWFUL!!! So, we eliminated the nap and he goes to bed around 8:00pm and wakes at 7:00am. When we were fighting the nap thing we decided to just hang out in the room (no talking to him) when he was in the crib and waited until he slept. This was all after doing a story, songs, etc.
Good luck! I know that it's hard and it's a terrible battle but their little baby bodies still need that down time and some quiet time away from stimuli, they just really don't want to miss anything and they think sleeping with make the world disappear... they will learn that some day they will beg for permission to have a nap!
My children stopped their naps at 6 months. If they don't need the nap, why waste a lot of the day on power struggles? I made a point of then using the nap time for quiet time. Let her lie down or even just sit on her bed with no pressure to sleep. If she needs it, she will sleep. Some kids need more nap time. Others don't.
My son was 1 when he quit taking naps. So it is very possible that this could be the case. What you could do is have quiet time. Maybe have her sit in your lap and read to her, or sing. Those are always good things.
Your daughter is probably still too young to go without a nap. I would say that 2 years is the earliest age to consider cutting it out. At that age, she needs about 13-14 hours. (www.babycenter.com)
Your daughter is probably throwing a big fit because she discovered one day that if she does it long enough, you will give in. You have to take back your control. Decide whether you are giving her a nap or not, and then stick with it no matter what. The last thing you want is for a toddler to think that throwing a tantrum will get them their way.
Try putting her to nap a little earlier. Try doing very active things in the morning to wear her out more. It sounds like she is either too tired or not tired enough. Try to figure out why she does this and that will lead you to a solution.
My advice is to stick it out. You know she's tired; you know what's best. I used to battle my son for an hour before he would sleep. It'll pass and you will win. And it's worth it. My son is so much happier when he gets a nap. In fact if he misses one now (at 2) he ASKS to go to bed. I would just steel yourself to let her cry it out as long as an hour. It's gruelling but worth it when they finally learn. It could be that your daughter knows you will come back in and get her when she reaches a certain volume or intensity, thus she patiently screams to get her way. Good luck and happy napping!
at 15 months, she might be going through some developmental stuff right now, so sleep is the last thing she wants. i'd treat it as a stage, and just continue doing what you're doing. i agree with the previous poster...try every day and if it doesn't happen, have her go to bed earlier.
would she hang out in her room and look at books by herself for a half hour or more? that would be at least a little break for you! my daughter (she's 2 1/2, i can't remember what her attention span was at 15 months!) will sit in her nearly dark room and read books if she's not going to sleep for her nap time.
A friend of mine had the same problem with her son. They started offering that he didn't have to nap at naptime, but he had to at least have quiet time in his room. More often than not he fell asleep, but when he didn't at least it kept that restful period in his day. It worked well for her and her son, but then of course every kid is different!
When my daughter, who is 2 1/2 now, started not wanting to take naps I turned it into a movie/rest time, where she got to lay in Mommies bed and watch a movie. She still looks forward to this down time almost everyday. I think 15 months is a little young to not be wanting naps, but some kids need less sleep than others. My daughter was closer to two before she started fighting naps. I don't know if a 15 month old would stay put in a bed or not????
What you describe sounds like my daughter if I put her down too late....in other words, she is over-tired. It is the strangest thing - the more over-tired she is, the harder she fights me to go to sleep. It is especially bad if she falls almost asleep in the car (but not all the way) because then she has pushed herself to stay awake.
The best thing that happened to us around naps was when she stated daycare. They put her down between 11:45-12:00 every day (and now so do we on weekends unless we have an outing or something). She consistently sleeps 2 hours or more now.
So my suggestion - try putting her down earlier. The info I am reading says as soon as 3-4 hours after they wake up, they could need a nap. So move lunch earlier (or give snack), and then do a shortened version of the night time routine - diaper, book, blanket/bink, etc. Last tip that worked for us, room darkening shades.
I know how you feel. Naptime was the only time I could get anything done when I my daughter was that age. I contemplated just giving up on naps, but then when would I be able to load the dishwasher without her climbing into it, or unloading it onto the floor when I wasn't looking?? lol
Finally I decided that I would give naptime a good try every day, and if there was no nap then I just put her to bed earlier (which she needed). My mother was shocked that I 'let her win' and didn't force her to nap. But really, when can you ever force a kid to nap???
She is almost 4 now, and she still naps at least 3 days a week, and on the days she doesn't, she is def. ready for bed an hour 1/2 earlier than normal.
On the opposite side, my 2 yo daughter naps EVERY day (no matter where we are) but is beginning to become a night owl even if I don't let her nap. I guess all kids are different, and they will sleep when they want to. lol
Hope that helps!!
C. Abby - 4 Gracie - 2
15 months seems a little young for no nap- kids usually move from two naps to one nap sometime after 12 months, but hang on to that one nap for a while. For our 19 month old son, we are really careful to look for sleepy signs before he gets overtired and then fights it. We have also found he needs a long wind-down time and does much better with a naptime routine that is almost the same as the before bed routine (we don't do a bath). We need to sit in the rocker, turn on his sleepy music, read several stories, have some water, talk a little bit, and snuggle. It did take a little more time at first (30-40 minutes), but now that he's gotten the routine, it usually takes 20-30 minutes. Like your daughter, the COI method was a disaster for us, so we do more of a long, slow good-by method so he can transition. Your daughter may also be a person who has a harder time transitioning and letting go, especially if she really loves being with mommy.
I am a working part-time proud mom of a baby boy, just one month younger than yours. :) It is NO secret that our little ones are CONSTANTLY changing and transitioning into new habits and new phases of their early childhood. As a mom who first built her career in teaching, I have to say that the MAIN thing I learned about "conditioning"--aka teaching our children is that they are CONSTANTLY, no matter what age, testing OUR boundaries out. I find that no matter what the struggle or stage, you have to stand your ground...if you fight her nap for a half hour, so be it. If you fight her nap for two hours, so be it...just remember, everytime you remain FIRM in your decision and carry it through, she figures out that YOU are the one who is in control, not her. YOU know what's best for her, she's 15 months old and not old enough to know the result that evening of NOT taking her nap that day. If she is in an area where she can get herself out of bed and that's the struggle, calmly put her back in bed, don't say anything but goodnight honey and exit quickly. Have you ever seen the nanny shows on t.v.? They give EXCELLENT examples of behavior conditioning.
Hope this helps, good luck---just remember, SOMEONE is ALWAYS being trained. ;)
~H. Z. (Mom of Grayson, 14 mths)
My name is T. K I'm a SAHM when my kids were that age we had the same problem. I tryed everything what i found works is letting them know they need to take quite time, for set amount of time say 30-40 min. Set a timer for said amount of time. Let her know that she doesn't have to sleep but she needs to stay in bed quite for that amount of time. I found that by the time the timer went off they are usually asleep. If they don't sleep at least they have rested enough to make it to the end of the night. Keep the timer with you in the other room so it's not a distraction for them.
Hope this help :)
If your daughter is tired and whiney in the evening when she doesn't nap, that's your sign that she still DOES need a nap. My son had troubles settling in for a nap as well. It helped when I would turn the lights off, turn on some soft music and rock him gently in the rocker for a while. I'd just put him over my shoulder and tell him to rest. In ten minutes or so I'd hear snoring. From there I could transition him to bed with no problem...even if he woke up while I was putting him down. Some days this didn't work, and we had to resort to "quiet time" in bed as well...although some kids will find it difficult to stay in their room. Sleep issues are one of the biggest problems out there. I wish you luck, because I know how much moms need that sanity break...at least once a day!
My twin sons went through that "stage" also when they no longer wanted to go down for a nap. They were changing developmentally and thrived on input. HOwever the "grumpies" also told me that they still needed quiet time. there was a length of time that went by (can't seem to rememeber exactly) but they eventually went back to nap mode. I thought it was strange, however, my friend was going through the same thing. Keep faith, she may not go back to agreeing to take naps (especially if she is getting a great nights sleep, and trust me you are lucky here!) but she will still need "down" or quiet time. time with no input like background tv's, radios, etc. YOu will both feel better from this. If she continues to "fight it" she may be needing more physical activity where she may not be getting enough. That seemed to help with my boys.
Hi A. W.,
I am a mother of two girls , but of which is both now grown and have children of their own. but I too have had that problem..believe me..your not the first. If she is really irritable at that age..yes a nap is needed. sometimes children get so tired that they cry to stay awake..afraid to miss something of thier new world. Try makeing nap time a calm time..like, laying beside them for awhile. but I wouldnt say do that for long cuz it only spoiles them. which isnt really a bad thing..but it dependes or take a nap with her so too speak..to show them that its ok to sleep and that its pleasant. And hopefully it should work..but I will have to say that not every child is alike.. like my olest and youngest.. my oldest well it worked great! My youngest it didnt, but later I found out why she cryed all the time during naps or even awake cuz she had severe Migrans and dignosed at age 7 and still get them today at age 24..so maybe my advise isnt what you need but try it if you have'nt allready and be patient.. dont give in..cuz most time kids pick up on this. they may be young but not stupid. they can pick up.like for instance.. Oh If I cry enough mom will give in.. and if you do well.. you proved her/him right! So hang tough and dont give in.. but also know the limit of lettiing them cry to much and concider maybe you might need to see her/his doctor? A mother should take all precuations! I wish you luck !
It sounds as if your daughter is transitioning away from naps and, even though she gets whiney and sleeps for a long time at night, she seems to be ready to do away with the nap. This may be just a phase, too. She may go back to napping once it becomes a non-issue with you. I suggest that instead of a nap that you spend half an hour or an hour if her attention span permits, listening to soothing, quiet music and reading to her. This can be just "quiet time" or "thinking time" or your "together time" rather than "nap time".
I am a great-grandmother so have had some experience with the nap crises. Good luck, just keep loving her.
PS: Being a great-grandma I'm not up on all the initial stuff, what is a SAHM???
PPS: Here is another idea for you, even though it sounds as if you have been inundated with great advice. Have you thought about teaching her American Sign Language. It is NOT just for deaf people! My granddaughter and her best friend both had babies at the same time and both taught their little ones and the caregivers involved how to sign and they both had the most mellow little people. Part of the problem as they begin to grow is that they can't communicate their needs because their minds are outstripping their verbal skills. Signing seems to help with that, they catch on very fast! You might check the library, there are several books on teaching sign language to little people.
Hi, there - my name is M. (SAHM) and I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter (born 5/5/05) who has been a "sleep fighter" basically since she was born! lol When she was new, it was extremely difficult to get her to sleep unless we were in the car for a long period of time (which, she also hated since she didn't like her carseat - she would eventually cry herself into sleep) or unless she was breastfeeding or endlessly being walked up and down the hall. When she got older, I tried ALL of the little tricks that other moms had used that worked for their child - NONE of the them worked for us. I would lay with her for sometimes up to an hour and a half trying to get her to sleep but it just ended up with us both being miserable. When she turned two - I tried to get her on a napping schedule - I thought, hey! If we do this EVERY DAY maybe it'll work?? NOPE. It would actually come to the point where she was just rum-dum and miserable and I was worse. lol Her schedule had been what mine was - problem was, it's enough sleep for me but not for her. We would go to bed around 10pm and get up around 7 am or so - by about 4 or 5pm she was terribly crabby. I finally made the decision that she would be taking no more naps and IT WORKED. We both are so much better and we both get the sleep we need. The key is constancy - if it's not there, it won't work. I had to dedicate myself to her and only her. It's a hard decision to make but, after all those mom's and books telling me what will work and didn't - it was worth it! We get up around 8am or so and she stays up until around 6:30pm when she starts to rub her eyes and act sleepy. By 7, she's got her P.J.'s on and brushes her teeth. Then we read for a good half-hour to an hour - and I lay down next to her. Within FIVE MINUTES she's OUT FOR THE NIGHT! And I've got my sanity back! I get a few hours to myself to do whatever I want and spend some quality time with my husband. It's wonderful! I guess what I'm trying to say is - those books that tell us what will work and those mom's who say, "just try this - it'll work" - they were full-o-it for our situation. lol If YOU think that your child is ready to skip naps, BY ALL MEANS follow your instincts! Parenting is a lot harder than I thought it would be but it sure is worth the work we put into it, isn't it??! I hope this helps a bit - but, then again, I'm just another mom telling you what will work, right?! lol I found that there is no book that can tell you the right steps to raise your child "the right way" - it's YOU that determines what is "right" for YOUR CHILD. They are all different little people who have different, sometimes very stubborn, minds. Good luck to you and I hope you find something that works for you! :) Take care!
My daughter is almost 18 months old and a little while back she did the same thing. SHe was fighting me so much, I almost gave up on nap time, but it only lasted a couple of weeks and she was so tired. I did introduce a new blanket around that time and that really helped with getting her interested in napping. It is now a special sleeping blanket. She also sleeps 12 hours at night and usually one 2 hour nap in the middle of the afternoon.
Short answer - yes, she may not need the sleep. MOST doesn't apply to every child, you do what works for you and her.
I am very against the cry-it-out method as too many people let it escalate which it's not meant to be. I near-sleep at night but my two sons nap without me. My two-year-old sleeps in the same room as me and my infant as Daddy is in Iraq. My older son gave up naps at about 16 months.
My older one only slept 11-12 hours as an infant. I asked the doctor about this and he said that my child is just on the low-end of the sleep needs, that his body and brain don't require it. He is at or ahead of developmental milestones so our doctor said there's no reason to be concerned. As he got older, his need for sleep has decreased as is normal so he only sleeps for 9-10 hours now. There's no point in fighting him to take a nap because he at 16 months didn't need it.
So I worried about baby number two who DID sleep 12-14 hours a day =)
When he's going through a growth-spurt or had a very exciting day, the older one will occassionally take a nap or take his train and go lay himself down for 20 minutes. Sometimes I lay him down and tell him he can come out when he's ready and he'll stay there for five minutes or he'll stay for an hour. It works for us.
A., I am having the exact same issue with my 19 month old. It is the same... The only thing is, she won't go down anymore for a nap -- in her room, or in the cozy packnplay in the basement.. we've tried the CIO method from Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child book, that doesn't work for us anymore. She has grown averse to her crib... we've tried shaving time off of her nighttime sleep (without a nap, she sleeps from 6:30pm - 8am). It isn't working. It has been about 6 weeks, and I am ready to try a new approach -- perhaps no nap.
She won't sleep in the car, either. We also do rigorous playing outside with our dog in the morning.. we have activities in the mornings on 2 days. PLEASE let me know of good advice that you get or any good tips you may get from your post!
Do you have certain time that your daughter is to lay down for her nap? I find that this helps with my son. If they know what to expect, then it seems to go more smoothly. What time to you put your daughter to bed at night? Is it the same time every night? Does she get up the same time every day? If you get her on a schedule, I bet that would help. If you are already doing those things, well, I wish you luck! :-)
My son is 2 1/2 and since he was about 1- 1 1/2 he hasnt wanted to take naps. Well i need some down time. So we have book time. I put him in his crib and he has to "read" books for 30min to an hour. This at least gives him down time and me. Most of the time he does fall asleep. He may cry and scream he wants out and i just tell him he has to read his books for a half hour.
I really hope you can find something to work, we stay at home moms need that hour or so of freedom.
We have a 15 month old daughter as well. We never went along with the books that say to let your child learn to put herself to sleep, or cry it out, so we've always rocked her. She has a pretty consistent schedule that we try to keep her on. Generally she still takes two naps a day, but every once in a while she'll only go for one. I'm not sure if this is her way of gradually changing her nap schedule? However, she is almost always getting sleepy at the same time of day, 11am and 3pm, for her naps. She knows she's tired, and she knows she needs a nap. But no matter how tired she is, some days putting her down is a breeze - she's out in 10 minutes. Other days it takes 30 minutes or more. I've just accepted that is how nap time is, and learned to be patient. It seems to take longer when she is teething. But it's the only time of the day that's she'll let me hold and rock her, so I've actually come to cherish the time, although it can be frustrating as well. We always play the same music while she is being rocked and while she sleeps, so she also knows that when she hears that music it is time to sleep. If you think your little girl still needs to nap during the day, try to be patient and keep her on a consistent schedule and hopefully it will get easier over time. Good luck!
Hi there, I think we are in the same boat. I have a little girl who is the same age and is getting one solid nap a day- generally in the late morning/ early afternoon. She fights us on getting a second nap, so we are starting to fore-go that one. I think it's just their age, wanting to be up more so that they don't miss out on anything and getting enough sleep at night to boost their energy. So, sorry I am no help- but you are not alone. The CIO method doesn't work for us either. So, we end up w/ a grumpy, tired little girl by the end of the day.
We have a 15 month old daughter as well and I'm going through the same nap struggles during the day. My daughter still definitely needs her nap for a couple hours in the early afternoon each day, even though she fights it. I am starting to try putting her down later than usual for her nap to ensure that she's more tired. I can't do the CIO method with her. It seems the days that I have let her play longer and get more tired there is less fight. That might work for your daughter. Or as others have said, she may be getting enough sleep at night and not need the nap. Best of luck!
When my daughter was little and we would fight over her taking a nap, my mother told me this.
You are spending all this time fussing with her, she is crying you are getting frustrated, Stop.
Instead you and her take a book and go lay down together , read her a book, sing to her, or just lay and cuddle. The child does not need to sleep, just needs a resting time, and can't you use one too ? Don't say you don't have time because you waste that time each day going through all this fighting to get her to nap.
But most important, you will never have this time in your or her lives to have this very special time together.
I am 54 in a few days, I now have a son who will be 5, my daughter who will be 36 in a few months reminded me of this right after we got our son, Because she remembered our special times together and I do remember my mom doing the same with me.
I struggled a little with my son on this for a time. I know at times their little bodies are going through some serious growth and so they tend to sleep a lot longer at times. Then other times, they rarely want to lay down. I would first try to adjust your schedule. No naps at this age was not helpful for me, nighttime became more difficult. Keep adjusting and reworking your schedule. Some do better with naps before lunch while, others seem to do well after a little lunch in their tummy. :)
Do you have an aquarium wonder crib music thing or something like it? That has always helped my two daughters. I struggled a lot (and still do) with my youngest(20mo) to nap and it really just took a routine and me letting her just put herself to sleep. Nap is pretty much right after lunch, we shut the blinds, grab her blankie, a packy, I read a ton of books (10-15 min or so)and lay her down and turn on the aquarium, blow kisses and leave. Some days she takes a book to bed and 'reads' for about an half hour or so before she falls asleep. As long as there is some quiet time (I give at least an hour), that is good. Kids that age still really need that quiet time- as do you. How long has she cried when you have tried CIO? At nighttime does she fall asleep on her own? My older daughter (almost 4) hasn't napped in over a year, but I wish I would've keep a 'quiet time' so I could have a break in the business of the day. Good luck! Let me know if you have more questions!
Several of my kids were like this. I just still enforce quiet time every afternoon when the baby naps. I found that even though my child that didn't want to nap the ended up crashing during quiet time every third day.
Every child is different so you have to try different approaches to see what works.
I'm not familiar with the CIO method, but it does sound like your daughter is working out of nap time. You can't force her to sleep. You can provide a soft quiet place & time with no pressure to sleep. I would make her bed time earlier to help with crankiness and be thankful she sleeps 11 to 12 hours a night. Good luck R.
It is very possible that your daughter wants to give up her nap now. My sister has a 15 month old and he struggles a lot with naptime, as well. When my daughter was at that age, she was a good napper, but she went through a few phases where she just wouldn't nap no matter what. Struggling with her did not help. I have a few suggestions...try to lay with your child a little extra then you normally would. It's possible that your child has anxiety or just plain difficulty going to sleep during the day. You can also try to do more physical activities in the morning time to try to tire your daughter out in the afternoon. Lastly, after trying all the suggestions you are given and nothing works, don't fight it. Since she gets tired and cranky in the evening when she doesn't nap, try going for walks or be out and about, that may lessen the crankiness. And, if you need a few minutes to yourself in the afternoon, place your child in her crib(if she is still in one,) or set up some toys in her room so she can play, so that you can take a short break. When she gets older, if she still isn't napping, you can tell her that she needs to at least lay on her bed and rest...she can have books to look at or a little toy to play with. Hope some of this helps or is encouraging.
We use kind of a modified CIO method, with a routine during the day. I noticed that my baby (16 mo. now)was going down without a fuss at night after bottle/bath/kisses/prayers/snuggles then bed w/ her lovey. I started a new routine during the day, incorporating her bottle and some snuggles before her nap. It's possible that your baby is giving up her nap...but she might be just realizing that it's an option to go without it! Sometimes it takes my baby 30 minutes to fall asleep, but she'll eventually do it (with a mixture of crying and singing to herself.)
I wouldn't force her to nap, but I think it is good to have "down time" where she lies down quietly during the day where you read to her, maybe make her some warm tea. I ran a Lifeways day care and it's important to have that time and get into a rhythm.
We went throught the same thing with my son. I found that talking to him about "quiet time" rather than a nap started to work wonders. He doesn't have to sleep, but I would set a timer for an hour and a half or so and put him in his room to play quietly, look at books, etc. If he fell asleep--great--then I knew he needed the sleep. If not, we both got a little down time from our busy day.
Your daughter still physically needs a nap, even if she would prefer to nottake one. I found the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth to be incredibly helpful with my two kids,who both sleep very well. If CIO does not work for you, you may find an acceptable solution in this book. Don't give up, and don't give in. Your daughter will just become conditioned to wait you out, and she will! Little kids have incredible stamina to resist if they know they will prevail.
Your daughter is probably not ready for no nap? I am a mom of 3 and I can tell you that rest for the little ones is crucial for good health, growth and attitude. I had a friend that struggled with this with her kids and she would always end up giving up and giving in. Her kids knew that after a certain amound of time and refusing, "mom" will give up. Of course there are days when no naps might be the case, but on those days I always put them to bed by 7:30. And honestly, by the end of the day and dealing with a young child that has had no nap, I was exhausted! Remember, you are the mom and you pretty much know what's best for your kids. Hopefully this helps a little. "Hang in there"