Contemplating Staying Home

Updated on October 06, 2009
M.J. asks from Oswego, IL
6 answers

Good morning!

I currently work full time. I have a great job, maybe not the best boss in the world. The benefits are great and the pay is also good. My husband has a great job too. He can actually support us on his income alone. I go back and forth on whether I should stay at home. My baby is 16 months old. I love my job and the income it provides, but I feel like I am missing out on precious time with my baby. Should I stay home with him?

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answers from Chicago on

I couldn't imagine not being stuck like glue to my 19 month old. We have such a good time, taking classes, going on play dates, going to the zoo, etc. that I just couldn't even fathom having a paying job! My attitude is this: if you can afford to stay home, stay home. They are only small once. I worry about reentry into the job market, but I'll really worry about that when that times come. For now, I'm so busy with my daughter that I wonder frequently how people have kids and work full-time. Staying home with kids is a full-time job!


answers from Chicago on

I chose to stay home with my son shortly after he was born. I have never regretted it. When he was about 6 months old, though, I began to go a little "stir crazy" and longed for something to do. I started my own business with Barefoot Books, just to provide some extra income, but also to get me out of the house and meeting people too. It's been the best thing I could have done. The best part is, I work when I want to, and I have wonderful books around for him to enjoy too.

If you are thinking about it, try it. I don't think anyone ever says "I wish I worked MORE when my child was little!" :)




answers from Dallas on

M.J., I could have written this post!!! I am exactly in the same situation and I realized that my 'unexplainable" irritableness and depression were really because I want to be with my 17 month old son. I felt like I was pouring the best part of my day down the drain for people who didn't deserve it- and my son deserves it.
I am currently interviewing candidates to replace me and I am thrilled!
Look deep in your heart, find out about area play groups and mom's day out (because you don't have to do it ALL day EVERY day), and visualize what kind of life you want.
I wish you so much happiness!



answers from Rockford on

I stayed home for 2 1/2 years when my sons were born 13 months apart. I went back to work when my youngest was 15 months old. I do not regret staying home at all, and if you can swing it financially I would take advantage of that as long as I could. Also, you could check into working part time to keep up with your career and to have some outside the home time. My boys are now 14 and 15 years old and even now I love the fact that I work as a sub teacher (gave up the classroom years ago) so that I can spend a great deal of my time and energy on my family and home. It is ultimately your decision and everyone is different, so you have to be the one to decide what to do, but I just thought I would share how I feel as a mom. Some women do better and thrive when they work, too, so you have to take into consideration what you truly feel.


answers from Chicago on

These are questions nobody can answer but you.
Everybody will tell you something different.
Some like to work, some like to stay home.
I stay home and never regreted it.
Maybe you can compromise, going part time.
You are missing out,my kids are 5,14 and almost 16.
I'm looking at pictures of my 16 year old, thinking,wau where did the time go?????



answers from Chicago on

I worked part time after my first child was born and stopped working after my second. I do agree that I have loved staying home and raising my children but I also agree that after being home for 15 years it is very hard to reenter the job force. There are moms who feel they could never stay home so I think it is ultimately up to you. Is there a way you could go to part time and test the waters? Best of luck in your decision.

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