Constipation in a 3 Year Old

A couple of culprits in a friend's diet: chocolate and rice (which she got in the form of her children's cereal!). With the elimination of these and addition of more liquids and foods with water content (watermelon, apples, etc. ) things got better.

A couple things might help. Routine, diet and relaxing.

Is she a social kiddo? It may help to have a few 'fun' things to do in the bathroom: magna doodle, sticker books, a paper doll. And then, keep her company while she's in there. Don't make her sit for any more than five minutes, but be clear when it's time to go. Don't ask--tell her that it's time to use the bathroom. If she's sharing toys/playing with another child, but her toys up to save them for her. Or if she's creating something, gently lay a light towel or scarf over it to 'save it' for her. (It's off limits for others.)

I'd also set some routine times of day for this. Some kids find baths so relaxing that it facilitates 'going', so after bathtime is one option. I'd find two or three times that she gets some escorted bathroom time (that is, if she likes company), especially in that window of time after meals are eaten. That often triggers peristalsys and thus, she may have an urge to use the toilet then.

Regarding her bottom: sometimes the child who is self-constipating suffers from stomach acids coming through the rectum, or the feces becomes hard(er) than usual. Two things can help here: using diaper wipes rinsed twice in warm water to wipe her until the redness subsides--this will remove the soap and cleansers--, and using an antiseptic cream. We like the DermaE tea tree oil cream/ointment for my son's bum.

Plenty of liquids and fresh fruits can help. My midwife suggested blueberries when I was pregnant, and that was great. Get them fresh or frozen, not dried.

You can also boil up some raisins with some steel-cut oats for breakfast. Joy of Cooking has a great recipe for this, PM me if you want it. We eat it sweetened with applesauce in the mornings and it's delish. Whole fruits and veggies too. Celery, carrots, corn, anything unrefined/processed.
Nuts, by the way, can be constipating, so be careful there. She's likely experiencing some bloating, too (tummyache) so steer clear of any carbonation or extra sugar/sweets, as they also can create gases, as can some brassicas (brocolli, cauliflower, cabbage).

Wheat, and gluten, too, can contribute to hard stools, so there's something to think about.

You might also visit a naturopath for this. I know of other families who have let this sort of self-constipating continue, and it's become a very sad ordeal for everyone.

You might want to take her to her to a Pediatric Gastroenterologist.
That is what we did with our daughter. Similar problem.

The child is, doing what is called "withholding" of their poop. Not going, at all. This it is then a health problem. It can cause bulging bowels/Encopresis/blockage and pain. Etc.
Not good.
Or the poop can become all blocked up in there... and hardened.. and then not be able to come out. They can do an x-ray to see how blocked up she is internally.

Once a child has pain associated with pooping... they will sometimes then NOT want to go at all. Then it becomes a vicious cycle.... pooping is hard, constipated, causes pain, and then they even more will not want to poop. It is then an 'emotion' based issued and a medical problem.
Not pooping... at all.... or withholding it... is not good, internally.

Or leave her naked on the bottom... keep a potty chair nearby wherever she is...

all the best,
Susan

Poor thing.

I wonder if you can step back a bit and observe
how she likes to spend her time.
After you have observed some patterns,
figure out what her priorities are.

Then, have a big girl conversation with her.
Tell her that, as the mom, sometimes
you need to take charge, even if she doesn't like this.

From now on, she will not be allowed to do X (whatever)
until she has made a poop in the potty (or toilet).
No exceptions.

You don't want her to have pain, tummy aches, discomfort.
So you have to be in charge of this situation
until she knows how to take care of this by herself.
Until that time . . . . new rule. No X until . . . . period.

You might want to consider having a special book
or music for accompaniment/distraction
while waiting for the poop to take place.

Meanwhile, about wiping.
I presume this product is still out there.
I haven't seen it for a few years but suppose it's available.
There's a kind of aerosol foam -- looks kinda like whipped cream.
Instead of (rough! ouch) TP on her tender tush,
you spray some of this aerosol on your hand (or her hand)
and put some on the tush.
Then when blotting off the foam,
the little remnants, if any, go along with it.

Good luck!

We have used flax oil mixed in w/ juice or milk and it has worked wonders. You can find it in the supplement area of your health stores or healthier grocery stores.

Try putting some kayro syurp in her milk or juice. Also if i gets really bad and she says her stomach is hurting get some infant suppositories so she can get that poop out.

Had very similar problem with our daughter, took her to a specialist who said "One tablespoon of Benefiber once a day". Haven't had a problem since! Hope this helps.

My youngest went through the same thing. First, she was too busy & impatient to poop, then it became painful and therefore scary.

A few things (in addition to a good gastroenterologist) that were helpful:
- avoid cheese, bananas and any other "binding" foods
-increase fiber where possible. We used a product called Miller's bran and added it to LOTS of things: oatmeal, mashed potatoes, cereal, etc. She & I also made bran muffins together -- it's so much more fun to eat something you made yourself.
- with your doctor's ok, try pericolace (sp?). This is a stool softener, not a laxative.

Patience. A sense of humor. Luck. Hang in there!

How about grapes or raisins? We went thru this w/my daughter - my problem was that i potty trained her when she was too young & she started holding it in & although she's almost 13 she still won't go in public.

Try lots of water, grapes, raisins, apple juice - we've gone the whole miralax route but that u have to be consecutive with - u have to do it a few days in a row the same time each day. My oldest daughter was under the care of a pediatric gastro from the time she was a little over 2 & still is. We basically had to retrain her to go to the bathroom but sometimes the easiest things that can be done are those that we don't even think of - have you had her take a warm bath - sometimes just the warm water is enough to soothe their bellies enough to get them to go or even to put a hot water bottle across her stomach. It can become so frustrating because it is hard to see them hurting. Good luck and if you need any other suggestions, please let me know.

My friend solved this in her one year old with a patented nutritional supplement that is balanced and comprehensive. I've helped a lot of people with this - I'm a nutritional consultant. PM me if you want more info. Absolutely perfect FDA inspection, made here in US under controlled conditions, etc. And it has the DHA in it so you don't have to add that - DHA is great for brain development but I've never heard of it for constipation relief. Still, you want it mixed in to a product formulated by food scientists, not as a single ingredient added to milk as some companies are starting to do.

You probably want to get her off the miralax as soon as possible - it's not something you want to do long term. I can help you with this.

Be very careful just adding a single nutritional ingredient - single nutrients don't work well because they are designed to function in conjunction with every other nutrient. It's a lot of money for nothing. Even vitamins are just "expensive urine" in the eyes of most pediatricians. And they have warning labels! Besides, if you don't know where these things are made, you have no guarantee of quality.

Pear juice is probably not a good idea, as it often has the opposite effect. Karo syrup is even worse - it's all sugar and does nothing nutritionally. It adds empty calories and gives kids a real sweet tooth plus tooth decay issues. It's an old time remedy that shouldn't be used any more.

High fiber foods like oatmeal and raisins are fine but may not do enough right now if she is holding it in. No bananas, no cheese - opposite effect. Definitely good hydration.

Happy to help you more.

HI G.,

I encourage you to keep her hydrated. You can also try feeding her some oatmeal or applesauce. They both work great as a natural laxative.

Good luck,
J.

my daugther is almost 3 and we have the same problem. i found something out today that i am going to try - DHA supplement. forgive me if this ends up a novel but the reason i am going to try DHA is that i am pregnant. at the beginning of my pregnancy i got constipated really bad. out of coincidence i changed my prenatal to one with DHA and i started going regular again. someone told me, today actually, that she also became constipated if she did not take her DHA supplement. so i looked it up on the internet and i found that DHA actually helps with constipation, go figure.

so it's worth a shot! my daughter will have little "nuggets" that slip out. when she does go it's not hard or dry so i think she just doesn't want to go. i have done the suppositories before. she hates it and i hate having to do it. even threatening to have to do that does not make her go. i wish i had the answer! good luck!