Confused Mom of 8Yr Old Son Who Has Anxiety Issue.

I homeschool my children and have a son with similar issues. We belong to a homeschool support group and attend enrichment classes once per week. This has been great for my children. It is a small group so we have a chance to develop friendships as a family. I am with them or near by so anxiey less and self esteem improved. Other moms are very understanding and supportive. Many have their own issues so all are seeking acceptance.
HTH,
L.

I recently read a couple of books that have helped me deal with my son in a much more positive way. Granted, he is only three so the issues are much different, but I wanted to pass along the titles just in case they might help.

"How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk" and "Liberated Children, Liberated Parents" both by Elaine Mazlish and Adele Faber

"Between Parent and Child" by Dr. Haim Ginott

Good luck to you!
M.
www.nomommybrain.com

Homeschooling is a blessing. I have 4 kids and my 2 eldest are products of the public school system. My 3rd was having anxiety issues and I said "School is where you belong". Well after 5 years of tears and wet panties and breakdowns I pulled her out.
We didn't get much done last year either. BUT She is now at a point where she wants to learn and she wants to continue homeschoool. I prominsed her that she could stay home until 8th grade. I think it has bought me some time.

My oldest is very ADHD and graduated from the public schools. I should have pulled him in Kindergarten but listened to every one else instead of myself. You are his mother. Be very consistent, at home and out in town. Make him do chores same time every day. Have him eat same time every day, punishments should be consistent.
Do not let him tell you what it should be though. Give him a deadline, Johnny, we will homeschool you through 6th grade. Or whatever, then he has no anxiety issues about going back.
Good luck and God Bless

God Bless you and your son. I have homeschooled all of my children through high school. Our oldest son had attended the local public school for kindergarden the first half of the year. He was excited to go before hand then had the crying fits every morning. This was very difficult. He finally said the teacher was mean and calling him stupid in front of the whole class. We also got notes daily letting me know what he was not doing and this awful violent behavior. This behavior was never evident before, when asked he said I did not do that Rodney did that. I want to believe my child but the teacher is the adult and has his best interest at heart, right? It turns out that she was calling my son names and belittling him in front of the others. She even had my son confused with the other child. We asked for a transfer but to no avail. That is when I decided that I had to put my childs well being first. We homeschooled from there. Our district(in MO) had a plan where you could have your child attend some classes for part of the day and homeschool the rest of the day. I had friends who homeschooled and did this as well. They were pleased with it.

I would also talk to the doctors and therapist to let them know that you are not happy with them. You are paying them and you should be happy with the services they provide.

As far as the ADHD, have you tried the dietary approach. In certain people,certain foods increase the issues that go along with ADHD. For us it was milk and sugar. We did not stop these foods completely but we did cut back on them in the morning so we could have a more productive morning classes. I would inquire about the dietary changes.

As far is the parents and in-laws, let them know that you appreciate the the concern and value their opinions but that as your childs parent you need to do what is best for him. You could also offer to let them come and deal with him in the morning with breakdowns every morning. They may have an approach that would work better or see your side of the situation. It is always easier to tell someone what to do than stepping up and doing it.

If you are a spiritual person also pray about this. I will keep you and your family in my prayers. God Bless!

You've gotten a lot of advice on this topic. Though I may have scanned through some of the posts, I like Margie M's best - sent her a flower.
My oldest son is 17 and has NEVER, I mean NEVER, liked school at all. Not daycare, not even Kindergarden. He also complains constantly that he was an only child until he was 7. He failed 8th grade and repeated it. He failed one class his freshman year and made it up in summer school. Then he had to switch high schools and he just stopped going to school. I couldn't believe it! He would get up, get dressed, get to the bus on time, get off the bus at school, and never even walk into the building!!!! Then he walks back on the bus and comes home.
Well that was just the most ridiculous situation I could think of besides that we were arguing constantly about schoolwork and grades - I let him drop out. Looking back, he casually mentioned home school a few times, but I flatly refused him. I told him that if he wouldn't listen to me about chores, homework and regular school - what made him think that we would be successful home schoolers? I wonder now if we shouldn't have at least tried it. Now he feels like he is too old to be a high schooler - it's no longer enough motivation to stay in school for the sake of sports and he is getting ready to drop out of school for the second time.
The plan is supposed to be getting a GED, but my goodness what an awful time it has been trying to impress upon him the benefits of a decent education. This is definately NOT what I wanted for my son. If you are getting the feeling that the prevailing opinion here is making him go to school - I can say from experience that eventually it simply won't work anymore. I mean, I never had him as a 7 year old refusing to go to school, but when he dropped out the first time - WOW - what a difference in his anxiety levels - GEEZ I had a happy kid for once. And now that he's decided again to drop out - HE IS HAPPY. So if it turns out to be the biggest mistake I ever make as his mother - he'll have to learn to overcome it. HE HAS PEACE OF MIND. That alone is precious enough to me.
Do whatever it takes to give your son his PEACE OF MIND! I like the suggestion that I've seen about telling him you'll home school unti Grade # whatever (you decide that), so that he can stop worrying about having to go back to school next year. That may have been most of the problem last year. I mean, if he's stressing over what about when I have to go back again - he can't relax enough right now to enjoy home schooling.
By the by - my son is AD and PTSD and has serious avoidance behaviour issues. He is also going to move in with my mother (about 2 hours away) because the GED program is easier to get into before 18 than it is where we live AND he is trying out his wings. Oh he still frustrates me so because I still think he'll regret not finishing high school, but I am trying hard to be done with it and let it be.
Best of luck to you and your sweet boy!

to keep this short and simple, there is nothing wrong with loving your child so much that you put his needs first. there will be plenty of time to learn what the real world holds, with all its inequities. homeschool is a great opportunity for an anxious child and i wish you luck if you continue down this path!

As someone who is very active in the school system, 1st, I say go on a tour of the new school with your son. 2nd, if your son has learning difficulties and ADHD, I strongly recommend you let trained teachers who have been taught how to deal with these issues. My nephew is severly ADHD and my sister let him make decisions about a lot of issues in his life as a child, she has paid for that 10 fold as he got older. One thing about ADHD, especially if he has a bad case of it, you have to be the parent and make the decisions and STICK to them if you know they are the right ones. My sister would always give in to my nephew and he got what he wanted even if it was bad for him.

I completely understand your concern; however, I believe that we have to acclimate our children to doing things that they may not want to do or things that may be out of their comfort zones. Isn't our jobs as parents to prepare our children for "real life"? I know I have to do things everyday that I do not want to do. At this point, I think you should get to the real reason he does not want to go to school. Is it because he is getting picked on by a bully or is it because he simply doesn't feel like going? If the reason is the latter, it is my opinion that he is forced to go, especially since you were unable to get much out of him from homeschooling. Giving into his wants, especially when it comes to interfering with his education, will only hurt him in the end.

Okay, M., I have some advice for you but I can tell from your E mail that you are not going to like it!! Send him to school!!! I have 4 children and I can tell you without hesitation that if I let them make the decision(which you are!) then they would definitely NOT go!! At age 7(or 8) your son is not mature enough to make the decision about his education-YOU ARE!! I have found that parents that allow their children to make the big decisions raise demanding and unhappy children. You are the parent/ the boss not him.
Remember that you long term goal of parenting is to raise a happy, well adjusted RESILIENT child. I hope I don't sound too harsh but I have seen this happen with many parents who's intentions are good(as I'm sure yours are) We all love our children but your comments about "He is my life-I will fight to make his dreams come true" concern me. Are you sure HE is the one with the separation anxiety?

Good luck!!!!

N.

First of all I would just homeschool him and not worry about that aspect for the moment. What curriculum did you use? Your not getting a lot out of him could be the type of curriculum. There are some great curriculum's out there and some not so great.
You say you are on the 2nd therapist. Well if this one isn't working, I'd keeping looking until I found one that did! Even if you have to go through 10 of them. Same with the doctors.

Good luck and God Bless!

HI, MY NAME IS R.. I WENT THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING WITH MY SON AT THAT AGE. HE IS NOW GOING TO BE 25 NEXT MONTH. PLEASE E-MAIL ME AND I WILL TELL YOU WHAT WE DID. I KNOW HOW HARD AND HEARTBREAKING IT IS TO SEE YOUR CHILD SUFFER LIKE THIS. MY ADDRESS IS ____@____.com to hear from you. mom of 7

We had our 11yo son in public school from K till last year. In 4th grade last year, he started public but OMW he came home every day for 2 straight weeks just in rages and overwhelmed, crying, threatening to run away, just stressed beyond words. Seems they had a huge increase in enrollment so they had 6-4th grade classes which them moved them all out to portables. Then he got a big male teacher with a deep booming voice that was not accustomed to the loudness that is a metal building. Add on top of that the man is dyslexic so the children had to switch classrooms for reading/spelling. AND to make matters even more unbearable for him...they cut PE from 5 days a week to 2. So we pulled him out and homeschooled him.

He was diagnosed last month with Aspergers Syndrome after lots of things we've noticed about him this last year, and possible ADD. There was no way I could get him ready from the time of diagnosis till school started last week, so we're homeschooling him again this year.

He's 8, still young and it has been my experience (and I have homeschooled all 5 of my kids, we put the last 3 in public in 2005) that often parents make the mistake of bringing school...home. Very rigid without much flexibility or teaching to the childs strengths. Not condoning allowing him total control here, just saying, find out what kind of learner he is, does he do better with orally rather than writing everything in workbooks? Is he a hands on learner? Is there something he's very interested in that maybe you can build around, like my son is an addict of WWII History.

Also try and find a local coop group that you can join. We were always involved in that and my kids took classes such as Science, Spanish, Latin, Music, Drama, Art, and History. We met every Friday for 1/2 day for 12 weeks in Fall and 12 in Spring. It was a great way to get around other homeschoolers and to allow them to be taught by someone else and the support of the other Mom's was invaluable.

Don't listen to in-laws, they don't know your child like you do. My Mom was after me all the time to put my kids in school but with this child I don't know that we ever will. I know what's best for him and I had to finally tell them that I loved them, but they're my children and if they can't support that, then please don't discuss it with them around, as it would undermine what we were doing.

READ READ READ a lot to your son. There's a neat free curriculum online called http://letteroftheweek.com/ that you might find very enjoyable. I used that for preschool/Kindergarten with great success.

School one on one wont be long per day so don't let that make you feel you're not getting the job done or others to make you feel you're not doing it right. Oh one last thing, our school district is required by law (as I suppose all are) to provide services to my son even if he's not in school, as long as we live in the district. So we're going through them this year for therapy, just starting that process, and hope to get him the help he needs that way. I told him we'd probably go to the school a few hours each week but not all the time and he seems good with that.

I'm sorry you're having such a hard time with the doctors. Call up the school administration or go online and see if you can get help through them. Best of luck.

M.,

i am so proud of you for what you are doing for your son! i have somewhat the same situation, and i feel that more mothers need to take a proactive stance for their children, such as you are doing. i have a 5 year old with slight adhd, who is not ready to be in a public school setting, and has expressed many times that he does not want to go, because he doesn't want me to leave him there. i have made the decision to home school as well. i did it with our 17 year old daughter for 2 1/2 years, and i can honestly tell you that she would be nowhere near where her academics are now, had i not made the decision to school at home. when i was teaching her, she had adhd, dyslexia, dysgraphia and dyscalcula, meaning that she read, wrote and did numbers backwards. she had massive anxiety regarding school, and had begun to act out EVERYDAY! i noticed an immediate difference in her as soon as we began our first day of school at home!!! at first, i was also not able to get a lot of work out of her (maybe one work sheet a day or so) i did not push, and we started doing daily "field" trips, where she had no idea she was learning!! i would bring her work sheets with us to wherever we went (i.e., if i wanted her to write and do letters, we went to our local and FREE nature preserve/park, and we would go through the alphabet a-z, finding and writing down things in the nature preserve, that corresponded with each letter). after a while, i started staying home longer, and she was able to perform and stay focused longer and longer. she is now in public high school and doing beautifully. i don't like public school, and that is my own opinion, but once she was ready for high school, we gave her the choice. i am very excited about home schooling my son as well this year, and i know that because of my patience and understanding, he will excel as well! i read an old book recently, entitled "knowing your five year old" and the book specifically states that a child who is pushed into a public school situation, when they are not ready, will only flounder, and the parents and child will pay for it later. that statement was made by two leading child psychologists! one thing to also remember is that your relatives were not put on this earth to raise your child! tell them it is solely your responsibility, and the constant nagging from them, only shows you that they must not trust your ability to responsibly parent your son, and that really hurts your feelings!!! tell them that there will be no further discussion of your decision, but that you will keep them informed weekly of his learning and how well he's doing!! you may also want to tell them, that since the government passed the "no child left behind act", most schools have to dumb down information given in class, so that even then, the smartest child in class is only allowed to learn as fast as the one's with unfortunate difficulties learning, and that is not the kind of environment that you want your son in! i'm sorry, i know i've rambled on, but i just wanted to let you know that even though i'm sure many mothers wouldn't agree with my opinions, they are my own, and i think your doing the right thing! as far as the doctors go, tell them that as a parent, you don't feel like your getting the responses that you thought you would, and your going to try it on your own for awhile (i know, sounds scary).... then go out and purchase, "the bible cure for add and hyperactivity" by Dr. don colbert. i used this on my daughter, and though it took eight weeks, it was worth every bit of the wait. i was able to get her off all medications, and she built more confidence in herself! i hope some of this helps.........sincerely, L.

By no means am I an authority on this subject; but you say you son has seperation issues from you and that you have been with him all his life. It seems to me that he is refusing to adjust to outside life. I know you would do anything for your son (so would I and he is 30) but it seems he has you wrapped around his little finger. If he is on medication for ADHD; why not try the new school. He needs to learn to cope with day to day living outside the home and with you. I may be that if you give in again this year he may try it again and again in the years to come. You said you were not able to get much school work accomplished last year and it would not be fair to him to have him behind his age group and put behind in a grade. Sometimes if we just let go and tell them this is the way it is they will eventually accept it. As for the doctors, why pay them if they are not producing results? Find someone that will. I hope this helps! As I said I am just a mother and grandmother and appreciate your concern about him getting so upset but he can't do that for a lifetime.

M.,

Home schooling a child with special needs is very often the best option. A child who has extreeme anxiety won't be able to learn in other settings. I just wanted to encourage you in your decision to continue home schooling and to let you know you aren't alone. There is a wonder support group you should join called GIFTSNC. http://groups.yahoo.com/group/GIFTSNC/ There are over 580 members many who have been or are dealing with the exact issues you are right now. They are a very supportive and creative group of people.

It is very difficult to have close family that are not supporting your decision. I'm sure they both feel like home schooling is a "burden" on you or that you aren't able to educate him as well. You need to stand firm and ask them to trust you to know what is best for your child. Ask them to either support you or to refrain from making negative comments that only increase your own stress level.

There are lots of options for home schoolers today. I don't know what county you are in, but know most have lots of support group options. I would suggest you join a local support group as well as GIFTSNC (which may have a local group near you depending on where you live.) This will give both you and your son peer interaction opportunities that are fun and you can choose what you participate in so that the experience is successful which will help build self-esteem. There are co-ops available as well to help with classes that you may not teach at home (for example we joined a co-op for a couple years so my kids could participate in 2 different musicals.)

If you have significant concerns about learning problems or courses you don't feel comfortable teaching, you can always get a tutor to come to your home and help you. I would suggest staying with a group that offers one-on-one, in-home tutoring and supports your home schooling journey.

Good luck! Home schooling is not always the easiest answer to a problem and all home school moms have varying degrees of self doubt, but research is showing that home schooling is a very successful educational option. It sounds like a great solution for your child. You are welcome to email me anytime. ____@____.com .

Peace and Joy,
K. (Raleigh, NC)
Homeschooling mom to:
Daniel: 20 yo (ADHD) (Home school graduate, attending UNCW)
Stephen: 14 yo (Athetoid CP with Dystonia, Gross/Fine motor delays, non-verbal, mild hearing loss, some vision problems)
Joseph: 12 yo (mild CAPD)
www.giftsnc.org
www.creativetutors.com/northcarolina/blog1.php
www.wildtales.org/blog1.php

I would seek out a different therapist. It seems as though you are unhappy with your current therapist and I would keep seeking until I find someone that connects with you and your son. I would also tell your inlaws, in a very nice way, that they need to relax a bit regarding their inquiries. You know your son and you will do what you think is best for him. Good luck!

It sounds like you have some tough decisions to make. No one knows her child better than a mother. As much training and schooling as a therapist has, there is no fool proof method. Just like there are a variety of parenting books out there and they all have different advice. You are his mother. You and your sons father should make the choice of what you will do to help him through this.

I know you are searching for suggestions. I homeschool my children, and there is no better way for me to help them with an issue like being there first hand to help. Maybe homeschooling for another year would be helpful, but join some type of co-op or field trip group to get him slowly back into groups. Co-ops usually only meet one day a week. It will give him so time to be away from you in a class, but you will still be close by. If getting him back into a school is what you want, maybe trying to do it gradually would help him adjust better.

I hope you find a solution that works for your family.

Unlike the doctor your responsiblility is for your childs mind and body. Forget about what everyone around you thinks is right for him. You're the one who's with him every day. Was he better adjusted at school or at home? Was he behind in learning when he went to school? Is he going to be able to adjust to being in school with these additional problems?

I have a friend who's 6 year old daughter had anxiety at school. She had bad stomach aches all the time, night or day. She didn't have them during school breaks, they tried everything, even medicine and it didn't help. She decided to start homeschooling, the stomach aches are gone and she's actually ahead in her school work.

It's your decision, no one else can make it for you, but if your son is uncomfortable with it now it probably won't get better when he goes back to school.

Good Luck!

First, M., I agree with your decisions about educating your son. You need to follow his lead and do what makes him most comfortable.

I was also wondering if there is any bullying in his school, and if that influenced his reluctance to go back to school. Whether or not that's the case, I would still go ahead with plans to homeschool. But if there was bullying, it would be important to tackle this issue.

You might want to talk to the counselor at the school you are trying to get your son to go to. They will have ideas about how to ease his anxiety about school and they are FREE!!! They deal with these issues at the beginning of every year, I am sure, so you will probably walk out with answers the day you see her/him. They may be able to let him meet his teacher and see his classroom ahead of time... Good Luck!!!

From what I have read here I would be of the mindset to home school one more year....with the understanding that he will have to be involved with some social outings and events outside of the home and you. There are plenty of organized events (and you may already be fully aware and involved with these groups)with home schooling groups that your could find within your community. If you need any info on these groups or how to go about finding them please contact me and I will help with whatever I can. As for the therapist, I would call around til I found one who is 'solution' oriented and not just diagnosis happy as you already have that part figured out. Good luck to you and your little guy on this issue. You will certainly be doing him a great service to get him help now rather than adding to his anxieties!

I know the constant battle of dealing with an ADHD child. I have a 10 year old daughter with ADHD. I am blessed to have an elementary school who has been very supportive. The key for me was to find a support group that helped in all areas. Also, good medication is an important part of the puzzel. It took lots of trial and error to find the right combination. And we still tweak dosages and time when we need to. The improvement with my daughter has been nothing less than amazing. She loves school now, she's a team player, and has become independent in ways that I could not imagine. All children are different and ADHD should be handled to what's best for each child. What's best for my child may not be best for your child. I have a pediatrician who is very supportive. I also have a behavioral therapist for my daughter. During the last two years, I have gone through a divorce and I'm a single mother. It can be exhausting. Try to get everyone on board with your plan and you will find success. It's not easy but the payoff has been well worth it. I still have battles with her but they are fewer and fewer. It's so important to find what your child's learning style is and find a school that can meet this need. I would highly recommend going to Vanderbilt Child and Adolescent Center for testing. They are very thorough.
Good Luck and God Bless.

Screen your calls if your mom and FIL are upsetting you. Nothing says you have to answer; you don't need more stress in your life. Ask the doctors for solutions for your son's issues. If they don't have any (just more diagnoses) then move on. I got more help in 7 months of seeing a Naturopathic Doctor (college plus 4 years of Nat. Med. School) for my issues (totally different from your son's) than from a lifetime of seeing traditional MDs. It's amazing the tricks they have up their sleeves (not really tricks, but diet changes, homeopathic remedies, supplements and herbs, etc.) I got pregnant (the goal) in that seven months, which was incredible, all without drugs. The appointments were all 45-90 minutes with the doctor - face to face time (or over the phone if I couldn't make the drive). That's a whole lot better than an hour of waiting around to have two to ten minutes of face time with an MD. You can find one at naturopathic.org.

Also, I have really gotten a lot of help with my rowdy boys by following the parenting advice of John Rosemond (rosemond.com). He has a lot of books, including Ending the Homework Hassle, which would give you a totally different perspective than you're getting anywhere else, about making them responsible for themselves, so that they are worrying about their schooling rather than you. After all, he points out, why should they worry about it if you're doing all the worry for them.

Anyway, best wishes to you and I hope you find peace.

.

Hello!! First --I ask that God give me the words of advice that you need to hear - that I be HIS vessel and not just a voice of opinion. With that being said - YOU MUST PRAY FOR YOUR ANSWER. Do you BELIEVE that God has the power to heal your son from his aniety issues??? Scripture tells us that if we have faith the size of a MUSTARD SEED that we can move mountains!! PRAY AND ASK your Father in Heaven to heal your son and to give you wisdom and dicernment (did I spell that right?LOL) about what to do! 2Timothy says that we ALL have been given a spirit of POWER and self-discipline and self control NOT FEAR (or anxiety) You MUST speak out loud when praying (not necessarily shouting and not infront of others - this is between you and GOD)because your words DO have power and while God knows our every need before we ask - by asking we release GOD's power to work! ARE you a child of God? Have you accepted Jesus as your personal savior? Do you have a relationship with HIM ? I am NOT judging you - simply showing you a solution. Jesus is very much alive and well today and GOD is still performing miracles. Sometimes He makes us work thru our trials - this is to grow that mustard seed of faith. So I urge you - If you have not ask Jesus to come and live in your heart - Please do it NOW - ask Him to forgive you your sins and pray for your sons healing - do it every single day (especially when your up at 4AM - I noticed the time) You can talk to God just like you talk to your earthly parents - HE WANTS you to do that - Tell Him and ask Him for what you are needing - HE is the GREAT PHYSCIAN - He CAN HEAL your son. Yes go to the doctors but remember that GOD is bigger than ANY problem we may ever have. AND last - RMEMBER YOU are the MOM. Step up and BE the mom - My son is 10 and has been on ADHD meds for two years now - He also was suffering from anxiety - not so bad that he didn't want to go to school but he would have melt downs over VERY small things - be gentle but FIRM and remind your son that you love him and that GOD said He would never leave us nor forsake us. That's in Duetoronomy. If it's in God's Word then it is TRUE! and you can Believe it. so have faith and I will pray for you and your son. T.

I commend your ability to home school. I have a similar situation with my daughter. She has anxiety issues as well as other and beginning in 3rd grade things went from bad to worse. I agree if he is not ready don't push him it only makes it harder on you and him. The public classrooms are so crowded, I don't know why anyone believes putting 25 or more students in a class is a positive more when at least 5 will have some type of "special needs." I would look for a good neurologist and therapist, believe me I searched because I know my daughter better than a stranger no matter what their degree.

I am going through a similar thing... my daughter was able to transfer schools (thank God!!), which so far is helping.
Does he say why he doesn't want to go to school?

I would recommend talking to the therapist by yourself. I had to do the same thing to switch the focus of the sessions towards something I felt was more the cause of the anxiety. Even if the therapist is on the right track, they could help with your side of it... give pointers on how to assist your son, as well as yourself!

Hang in there... I know it's hard to have your child in so much pain.

My 9-yr-old son has anxiety and anger issues. All I can do is tell you what I did with him. He's begged and begged to be somewhere else, but I know that if I give into his tantrums and complaining, then he rules the roost. I'm not into that. I run my household. Sometimes we have to do things that we do NOT want to do. Kids have to learn that. I am raising my kids to be able to take care of themselves, and I think coddling them (even WITH learning disabilities and other issues) is a great disservice. Our schools are required to provide kids with an appropriate education. I've worked with them, with my son's therapist (who is awesome- I think you may need a better one), and as a family to come up with a good management plan. That's all we can do is help manage our children's problems, but ultimately, your son is going to have to manage it himself. I think giving into him may just make it worse in the long run.

Good luck!!!!!

Without knowing everything from your last post my first reaction is that he must attend school and cannot get away with not attending another year. He could be using these as excuses not to attend school You did not say that he was being bullied at school so I would assume that he needs to attend and whatever EXTRA efforts you have to do at home to make sure he is keeping up with his work is up to you. With that being said, you know all that he is going through so you need to make that decision with the help of his doctors. I don't really understand how a child can 'refuse' to go to school. It is not an option. If you truly feel that he has issues that are WAY beyond being able to handle school, then your only option is to home school but I would let him know that he has NO choice in the matter of whether he learns or not. Homeschooling is just as significant as being at the school. He is to get up each morning and follow through the schedule just as he would at school. There is no option to 'not go well'. You mentioned how there was so much goign on, you need to determine if it truly is valid and extreme things that are keeping him from attending school. Bullying would be one thing but just having learning issues is not a reason. Try to connect with others that have similar issues with their kids and speak to a different doc if necessary. I don't want to judge too much w/ out knowing the situation but if it were my child and the only issue was learning problems, there would not be a choice, they attend school. good luck!