Confront or Drop It??

It sounds like to me she was just saying she couldn't wait until you moved closer to be nice or make conversation. She has shown you in several ways she is not interested in being friends. She is comfortable being acquaintances. Stop calling and inviting her to do stuff. She is not interested, sounds like you were saved a huge amount of grief and stress by her not responding too.

I would say start making friends through normal mom channels and then if she calls to do something you can always say you have plans with friends.

Honestly, it sounds like you don't want a friendship with her. BUT it bothers you that she does not want a friendship with you. Let it go. Move on.

Why confront her? Seems like you've got it all figured out.
You can't change people. So what's to be gained by confronting her? About what? Not caring enough?
It is what it is.
On to bigger and better friendships--real ones.

What exactly would confronting her do? Do you think she's unaware that you're not besties and by telling her, she'll change her behavior? It seems to me that confronting her will end any chances of being casual acquaintances, because of course she knows that you're trying harder in the friendship. And if you tell her that that's bothering you, she'll probably just write you off as someone who is way too needy.

There's no reason to confront her. Just move on. Stop initiating get togethers...you just don't have a friendship anymore. It's ok. Friendships change or end sometimes. My advice is to stop wasting your energy thinking so much about her and just make some new friends who you enjoy and who enjoy you.

Let it go and move on. It's not worth your energy.

You will gain nothing from a confrontation. Confrontation usually only brings closure in theory. Rarely, does it ever play out like that.

Why on earth would you want to be friends with people like this? One brother admits to the back stabbing and doesn't do anything about it. I wouldn't confront on that as it's just hear-say and he may be trying to stir up drama and trouble....

She isn't worth your time. Press on. Let the friendship go. I would also hope that my husband would press on and find friends that are more in line with the way your family works...values, etc.

Since she didn't seem to care either about your husband being out of a job. She's not a friend. She's not worth confronting. Stop all contact and if she tries to call - tell her you are busy and let her go. You don't need that drama in your life.

What do you hope to gain by confronting her?

Just move on.

You'd just give her something to bad mouth you about to others if you talked to her about it. She really didn't mean it when she said she wished you lived closer. Who knows why she would say something she doesn't mean?

The movie "Sense and Sensibility" has a good example of people who pretend to be a friend but really aren't. (Edward's betrothed.) There is no point in being friends with someone like her. At least she is being short with you and not trying to get together, since she really isn't your friend after all.

Let it go - you'll be happier than if you didn't.

Dawn

Move on. As you said some people are friends for a season and when it is over it is done. There are more fish in the sea. If you have to really work at something and you don't get any good results it is not worth the aggravation.

She wasn't your friend to start.

The other S.

PS Find people that have things in common in your life as a family and you will be fine. Your partying days are over you are a family with a child. Two different scenarios.

I don't think you will gain anything from confronting her.
So, I would let the friendship slide. You never know, if they have a child at a later date, then you guys might become good friends again... They may not realize how things feel to you - and it IS hard when your family has changed and theirs has not.
If you confront her, I am not sure what you would want her to say back to you. It seems like everyone sorta loses at that point. At least if things slide, then there is potential for things to get back together at a later date - if that is what everyone wants.
Just move on, and respond IF they contact you. :)

Let it go and move on.

Forget her and the whole lot of them....concentrate on your own family and make friends with other couples like you that have things in commom like children!!!

Move on. You have outgrown your friendship. Stop trying to get together and give them a chance to reciprocate. If they don't try or make an effort--then you know where you stand. It doesn't make it any easier though---I am sorry you are going through this. Hang in there!

I would also let it go. As we get older our interests diverge and we just simply don't have that much in common with some old friend any longer. Also sometimes you really don't know someone as well as you thought especially if you have lived far away from them before.
You don't need that drama in your life so just drop it and move on.

20 yrs is a long time for everyone to say just move on. Even 7 yrs is. I don't think you must do it in person if you wanted to bring it up to her. You could call or even text if you know she's going to avoid your phone call. Or better yet have your husband bring it up to his friend since he's known him longer.

Sometimes I think of friends who faded away and wish I would've given them a piece of my mind before I 'let it go'. Why? Because it feels better to get things off your chest! One of your answers said what do you hope to gain by confronting her, well it doesn't help to let it burn inside. I would think you would hope to gain closure right?? Sometimes people need that.

So I know my answer won't be the popular one, but I say go for it if you know it will help you move on and bring closure in the end. Who knows, there could just be a misunderstanding that can be cleared up.

This may be a wild guess but how do you know the other brother didn't tell them stuff about you and your hubby the same way he did to you guys?
Does he have any reason to want to alienate both of you couples from being friends? I mean if he's saying stuff about his own brother you never know.

Let it go. Why confront rumors? Yes, it hurts and makes you mad----but this person is not your problem--she is her own problem... because I'm guessing that she's lost a lot of friends over years due to backstabbing. So let her be her own problem, and let it go. Don't make it your problem. :)

Move on. Let it go. You are better off without them and I can't think of a positive reason for keeping them in your lives. It's not worth it.

I love what Carrie T said - Just move on. Find someone that "wants" to spend time with you.

Since you have no care to pursue the friendship why would you try your best to get together just to confront her? Spare the heartache and don't waste your time. All she'll do is tell you that it's all in your head and make you doubt what you already know: the friendship is over. Let it be over.

My initial thought from the subject line was...drop it. If you value the friendship, back off a bit and give them some space, however I question value since you have some negative thoughts or feelings.

As for your husbands job loss, there is not much more she can say or do, unless she is able to employ him.

sometimes friendships fade away. it doesn't sound as if you know any better than she does how the connection could or should have been kept. she may well be sensitive to the changes you say you feel in the relationship, when you started listening to and believing what the other couple says. it sounds on the one hand as if you have already drawn your own conclusions and mentally moved on, but on the other are resentful because she's done it first.
there's no need to burn the bridge that's already been abandoned. what on earth would a confrontation gain? it would just slam and bolt shut a door to a long-standing friendship that may or may not re-establish itself down the road, but at the very least should be looked back on with fondness.
i know i had a friend move close to me recently. we were both excited to live closer to each other, but now that she's here we haven't actually found many more opportunities to hang out. sometimes i can sense some resentment on her part that i'm not more available, but i don't have any more time than i used to, and get resistant when i feel people grabbing at me. she may be pulling away because you are so sure you are being 'the bigger person' by initiating the contact.
in true friendships no one has to try and make themselves feel bigger than the other.
khairete
S.

move on-let it go..its obvious that shes just not interested in being friends anymore.best reaction sometimes is no reaction-be a cold day in hell before i beg n grovel for someone to hang out with me or answer my calls-let it go-make new friends that are worthy of you n your family-and if you do a group get together again..snub her..pretend shes not there.folks dont like a taste of their own medicine.

Move on! How is this person bringing joy, warmth, companionship, or fun to your life? She isn't. You don't need her or want her, really. Just let go and move on; confronting her will make an ugly scene with lots of repercussions.

let it go.....people only want to hang with people with the same interests and do the same things...have a child puts a stop to all that and maybe she just isnt used to seeing you as a mother with responsibilities because she doesnt have any kids....i would try and find other mothers and have playdates or try and meet other mothers at the park....its really hard losing people who you thought were your friends because you have a child or your circumstances change but its just life....she's clearly content...maybe you should let it go and try to be to.....best of wishes..