Concerned My Son Won't Be Emotionally Ready for Kindergarten (Anxiety Issues)

usually I recommend waiting for boys...but your son will be 5.5 & I think you would just be "delaying the inevitable" as you said.

My concern is that you have now set a pattern where he freaks & you rescue him. This needs to stop. I have always counseled my kids that if they begin something, they have to finish it to the end....whether it be a sports season or a class.

You have 5 months before KG starts. It's time to start emotionally conditioning him to being separated from you. Sometimes in these cases, it's better for the teacher to deal with the child....with Mom totally removed from the picture. Find a class or activity for him.....& step aside. It'll be h*** o* both of you....but he needs to learn to feel secure without you.

I wish you both Peace.

EDIT: kudos to you for preparing your son academically for school! This seems to be the norm for today's world.....& I applaud you for taking the time to teach your son. As for being ahead of the curve, I think you will be surprised at how many children will be reading (or almost there) as they hit KG - it's a sight to behold! So very, very different from 10 years ago.....

He has to learn to be away from you. It is not healthy for him to be so upset. It is normal for a child to be nervous or anxious about new situations etc.. but you need to allow him to be strong. Then let him know you are so proud of how he tried new things.

I agree, quit letting him be a quitter.

he may also be a bit of perfectionist and does not want to "do it wrong"

Remind him it is ok to not know how to do things the first time, but it is so much fun to learn new things. Also when you make a mistake, use your words to let him know. Uh, oh.. I messed that up. Oh well, what can I do to fix it? what is another way to try this?

Show him how to respond. When you take on a new task, mention you are a little nervous or have some worries, but that you do not want to miss out on trying this new thing. When he tries a new task and succeeds let him know you are glad he tried, even if it does not go great. Show him our lives do not fall apart.

Remember children feed off of our insecurities. If he can tell you are nervous, anxious, embarrassed, so will he.

Does he have friends that he plays with on his own? Do you ever have the friend over to play at your home like a play date? How does that go. Has your son ever been over to other homes for a play date? These are some small steps.

I agree that he is ready for school. You do not want him to start kindergarten at 6.5. That is just way too long to have been held back. He will be almost 20 when he graduates high school! My daughter is a junior in college and 20!

Be strong for your son. The next activity, camp, play date. Have him stay the whole time.. Do not break down and rescue him. It will be h*** o* you, but you set the tone for him. Just make sure you give a heads up about his history..

If he is already academically ready, he is going to be seriously bored in kindergarten at 6.5 years old. And having a bored, disillusioned student can be just as challenging as having a student with separation anxiety.

As a parent and an educator, I suggest that you try preschool again. It's not too late to put him in for the last few months. You really need to make a deal with him, tell him about what's going on and let him know that it's very important that he try his best to stay in preschool. Play up the fact that it's going to be fun, that he'll make new friends, etc.

I do agree with Laurie A., who said that kids feed off parents' anxieties. If you are anxious about putting him into preschool or swimming, he will be anxious as well. You need to be strong and calm and reassuring. Don't just say it, feel it as well. Just as anxiety is contagious, so is confidence!

One more note...this seems like pretty extreme separation anxiety. Many kids cry and fuss for a few minutes after mom and dad leave, but for him to continue to freak out....not as normal. Perhaps you should go the library and check out some books about children's anxieties, both for him and for you. Try "What to Do When You Worry Too Much" by Dawn Huebner. It's a kids' book that deals with this exact topic.

If he is this anxious now, he may just get more anxious in the future. Help him learn some coping skills. If he learns them young, he can use them forever.

I wish you luck. http://keystosimpleliving.com/kids.php

if he is not ready hold him we held our soon to be six (she will be 6.5) when she starts kindegarten. And it was the best decision we made. She is definately going to be ready this next year!!

Well I can certainly understand the swimming thing! That would be scary! But I suggest getting parents as teachers out to your house asap and talk to them about it. They can evaluate him, he may be perfectly fine, if not they can give you great advice on what you should do. Maybe counseling. Parents as Teachers evaluate your child at Kindergarten registration anyways. But in your case I would have it done sooner in case there is things to work on. I would have def tried preschool again.