Concerned for a Friend - Very Early Delivery

Updated on December 05, 2012
S.E. asks from Caldwell, NJ
10 answers

My friend sent a message to a bunch of us on facebook yesterday morning saying that she was at the hospital and it looks like the baby is coming early and went on to say something like everything happens for a reason, im not even worried i know everything will be fine, cant wait to meet my baby. I cant remember her exact due date but i know she is between 30 and 31 weeks along. I havent heard anything yet today but i know as of yesterday afternoon a few friends talked to her and the baby hadnt come yet. They said she seemed perfectly fine, happy,and excited actually, which is a good thing i guess, but i would be so0o0o freaked out!.. im concerned for her and for her baby. i know they say that a baby can live outside the womb with assistance from what 25 weeks?? but still, its very scary.
While i was pregnant a friend of mine had the same due date i did and ended up having her baby between 5&6 weeks early and she was terrified. the baby was pretty small but other than that everything was ok, thankfully. I was talking to her about it and she was saying how lucky she was that nothing was wrong with her daughter and how scared she was for our other friend. Anyone else have babies come extremely early and have everything be ok? or not ok even?? -im just looking for simliar stories, ive never known anyone whos had their baby tthis early..

my mom mentioned that one of her cousins babies was 3lbs when he was born early andspent a good amount of time in the hospital before they could take him home.. hes like 15 now and perfectly fine... hearing that made me a little less nervous for her

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So What Happened?

the babys here! .. she messaged us all a few minutes ago, her little girl was born a few hours ago at 3lbs and 13.5inches & doing ok.

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answers from Washington DC on

My nephew was born just shy of 33 weeks. He's fine now, but had to be in the NICU for 3 weeks. Every day she can keep the baby inside is a good thing, but hopefully she is in a place with a good NICU to care for her child when its born. Maybe she's had a tough road and is relieved to know what's going on. And some people just take things in strides. My sister was stronger than I ever imagined when her son showed up early. I hope everything goes well for them. It also depends on why the child is probably going to come early - sometimes it's for the kid's benefit (friend had little to no amniotic fluid left) and sometimes for the mom (pre-eclampsia).

3 moms found this helpful

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answers from Albany on

You can tell her this. In 1994 I delivered a 26 week baby boy, weighing in at 1lb 11oz.

He is now a full sized completely normal college freshman. Not to suggest the early years were easy, just that it CAN turn out perfectly fine in the end, ok?

Being post-partum, you're especially effected by her story, right?

It's a day by day, moment by moment situation. As tragic as it feels RIGHT NOW, just remember there's hope, there's every reason to feel everything's gonna be ok, my Daniel is living breathing proof.

Hang in!


8 moms found this helpful


answers from Kansas City on

My first one was born between 32 and 33 weeks and was in the hospital for 3 weeks. He was 4 lbs 10 oz and got down to 3 lbs 8 oz. He was born vaginally frank breech and was in the hospital for 3 weeks until he reached 5 lbs. He's fine, grown and has a wonderful family of his own now and that was back in the 60's when they knew much less about preemie births. My niece had a baby born at 28 weeks and was 2 lbs. something. He is now going to be 4 years old next month and is very smart and healthy. It's amazing what they can do now for most early births. I think 24 weeks was considered viable but I heard not long ago that they moved that even earlier. I think but check that out first. I wouldn't worry because if the baby is born you can't stop it really. I was on bed rest, etc. for 2 weeks before my first was born and nothing else they could do to stop it.
Below is a link to maybe give some comfort to you but it's not medical, just stories from others who have had early deliveries.

EDIT: I wanted to add that I felt like your friend and never once thought there would be a problem with the baby at all. Everyone else was worried like you are but I was just anxious to see my baby.

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Cleveland on

I'm all for a positive attitude, and it will help that she's not freaking out, but having a baby 10 weeks early is a big deal! I don't know if she just isn't educated on the issues surrounding such premature babies or if she's just trying not to think about it, but it's not a good situation. My son was born at 27 weeks and almost died multiple times. He was in the NICU for 2 months and then was readmitted to the hospital after he was initially released due to issues surrounding his prematurity. Hopefully, this can be avoided, but if baby really comes this early, mom may become very overwhelmed at the realities of living in the NICU for weeks on end. is a great resource for information on prematurity. Also, is an amazing website for parents of preemies. They will send out NICU kits for parents. is a great place to find clothes small enough for micropreemies.

Good luck to your friend and the baby! I hope they can keep the baby in there and cooking for as long as possible!

3 moms found this helpful


answers from Dallas on

It's good she is in the hospital and they can give her steroids to mature her baby's lungs. The longer they can hold her off the better.

Many factors outside just the gestational age will play a factor in the health of the baby. In general, a healthy 30-31 weeker can do ok. The best go home around their due date. Infection can significantly change the prognosis, along with apnea and any physical birth defects.

After swh: great! Sounds encouraging!

Little girls statistically do better than boys. There have been great strides in care for premies. She needs to be in a hospital with a Neonatal ICU.
Realistically, pray and don't worry. Your pregnant friend may be right and there is a good chance she is right. Just be there to support her if there are bumps in the road.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

Your friend has a wonderful, positive attitude. Good for her! As her friend, you need to join her in this hopeful spirit.

From what I know, 30-31 weeks is a preemie, but most preemies this age pull through. There's definitely an increased risk of complications, but I suspect (not sure) that the statistical likelihood is no complications at all, providing there's good neonatal care.

Whenever the little one comes home from the NICU, your friend will have her hands full -- the baby may sleep 20 minutes at a stretch, if that. So plan ahead to offer support.

2 moms found this helpful


answers from New York on

There is like a 95% survival rate at 30 weeks. Medicine has come so very far. Prayers out to her.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Washington DC on

I am so happy to read your SWH and to hear that your friend and her baby are doing well. Congrats to them and I wish them the best!

It is scary when a baby is very early. One of my best friends delivered her son at 26 weeks, and because he had some growth restriction issues, he was the size of a 22 week old baby. 1lb 2oz at birth, then dropped under a pound over the next few weeks. He spent 5 months in the NICU and is now a vibrant 5 year old and just started Kinder! He will have some life long medical issues to deal with but we are all just so blessed to have him in our lives. He was a miracle baby for sure!

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Seattle on

Some people don't 'get' how scary early is. They're just excited to not be pregnant anymore & meet their baby. They don't get the months of touch n go, nor survival rates/outcomes, nor anything else.

Some people get ALL of the above, and are putting on a brave front to keep from collapsing.

Either way... Nothing to be done. Either they'll learn the hard way, or the LAST thing you want to do is crack their resolve.

1 mom found this helpful


answers from Hartford on

She may just be putting on a brave face. It's often taboo to openly discuss the very real problems and danger that come from delivering a baby at only 30 weeks gestation. It's taboo to openly suggest that the baby has a very real chance of not surviving.

I do pray that your friend's baby stays put and they can stop her labor, but that if the baby is delivered anyway that there are very few complications.

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