Coming Home from Daycare

Updated on September 15, 2009
C.H. asks from Spring Hill, FL
6 answers

I recently put my 2 year old twins in daycare for the first time. While they are doing great during the day at daycare, as soon as I pick them up and get home, they are crying and moody. I need to figure out some type of transition or something. Any help from other moms would be great!

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P.O.

answers from Jacksonville on

They could be tired and hungry after a long exhausting day. Check into how and if they are napping at daycare. If they are not adjusting to the routine after a month, it might be something with the daycare.

1 mom found this helpful

V.W.

answers from Jacksonville on

I learned pretty quickly with my 4 year old, when he started 3 day a week preschool (for only 3 hours in the mornings), that his post pick-up meltdowns were caused by one thing, and one thing only. It may not be the case with your daughters.. but at least consider:

When they are at daycare, they are "good" little girls trying to please their teacher and play nice with the other kids, and following the rules and expectations given and set out for them. This creates stress. Maybe not a lot, but some. Being away from Mommy (at this age) can create stress all by itself... especially if this is new to them.

What happens when they get picked up from daycare is: WHEW. NOW I can relax. Now I can let out my frustrations with everything I was expected to do all day. Now I am with someone who loves me no matter what. Now I am with my Mommy/Daddy who has ALWAYS been with me. It's okay for me to let out my feelings and emotions.

It's not that they sit and consciously think those things.. that's not what I'm saying. But that is the reality of what they experience. My son would instantly fight with his most favorite person (his little sister) when I would pick him up... every day. The only time it happened that way was after school. It continued daily until close to 4th grade. Then it became slightly more intermittent, but it still goes on now (he's in 6th grade, she is in 3rd) because he needs some time to himself to de-stress from the day at school. Little sister is picked up earlier, so she has a good 30 minutes in the car with me alone... so she has already put aside her daily stresses... So when he gets in the car she is ready to talk and play with him. He is not... it creates friction. So you have two, who are experiencing this simultaneously and it makes it very stressful for you, I'm sure.

I don't know a solution, just hoping to make it more understandable for you. Knowing where it probably stems from is the first step to figuring out a solution.

1 mom found this helpful

K.C.

answers from Orlando on

My daughter was the same way when she first started daycare. I took a look at the little paper the daycare gives me with everything she did that day and I noticed that she was hardly sleeping at all and even when she did it was usually in the swing and not in a crib. Once she got used to the noise of all the other babies and was able to sleep for longer stretches in the crib she was much better behaved at home in the afternoons!
Like someone else said if this hasn't corrected itself in a couple weeks I would really start looking into everything they are doing at the daycare.
My daughter also was allergic to the detergent they use on the sheets so now every week I bring a few sheets home with me and wash them in our detergent and those are my daughters for the week. This also helped a lot with her sleeping situation. We are only in week four of daycare and she is sleeping much better and now much happier when we pick her up.
I hope that helps a little!

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T.F.

answers from Orlando on

What are their hours at day care? Are they having to wake up earlier than they used to in order to go the day care? Has their nap schedule changed dramatically from what it was before, either time of day or duration? Are they hungry?

T.J.

answers from Fort Walton Beach on

Hey,

I agree with Pat and Victoria... My daughter was with a sitter at the sitter's house. She was able to do what she wanted when she wanted - but not the bad things. More like sleep and eat whenever. Anyway, she needed to go to preschool because the sitter wasn't able to do the things that my daughter needed to do (like play outside and craft items). The first week she was so exhausted! She just would crash after dinner. What we did was change their bed time to an hour earlier... instead of 830, the new time was 730. This helped out so much. It has been three weeks since she's been in the new preschool... she loves it and still needs the early time.

Just remember, children this young need lots of sleep. She still gets naps at preschool... the quality of that is unknown, so she needs good quality sleep and relaxation at home.

Try to wind them down with a story at then end of the night. Turn the TV off 1/2 hour before bedtime. Start the teeth brushing and potty break, then do story time. This will get them into the sleepy mode and make the transition easier on all of you.

Good luck!

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M.H.

answers from Washington DC on

earlier bedtime, immediate snacks after you get home and take out! My son went through this until about 2.5-3 years old and my 12 month old daughter just started. They are tired and hungry and need attention. Cooking just isn't happening much for me anymore! I have noticed that if I immediately spend 20 minutes with her giving her attention, she will then let me leave to go do something. If I try to do this immediately, it is melt down city!

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