Comfy Undies for Boys? My 4 Yr Old Prefers His Sister's Undies... HELP!

Updated on March 25, 2016
A.J. asks from Lewisville, TX
25 answers

Yes, you read that right. Please don't laugh, this is tough for me.
For 3 days my son has refused his own underwear, not even the bright yellow Transformer - Bumblebee ones!

My 2 yr old daughter and 4 yr old son wear about the same size clothes. Four days ago I put out the kiddos clothes for morning and accidentally switched their underwear. I don't know how I could since her's are bright pink...but anyways, he put them on and pranced into the living room beaming that they were the comfiest pair of undies he's ever worn. We were running late and he was being awfully cute so I let it slide and ushered them out the door.

He proudly showed everyone in daycare!

The teacher cut me some slack the first day but today asked me if I needed money for new clothes for the kiddos. *sigh* I explained the dilemma and she said giving into odd little things like this can make children defiant and cause more trouble later on.

I for one am content to just go grab some white or blue versions of my daughter's underwear and just let him wear those. My daughter is allergic to latex so I buy her the elastic free "boyshorts" style and I bet they do feel better than his tighty whities.

He definitely doesn't like boxers so that's out. Do any of you ladies know of some other brand or style of boys underwear that I could try?

What can I do next?

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So What Happened?

I bought white versions of my daughter's underwear in a bigger size and marked a "J" on the front just like they were boy undies with a logo, put them in his underwear drawer and didn't say a word. When he noticed the new underwear he tried to make a big excited "oh thank you mom" deal of it but I just nodded like it was normal and went on with what we were doing... Underwear is no longer an issue at our house. Everyone is comfy and content in what they wear and no one outside the house is the wiser.

Thanks for all your great advice!

Featured Answers

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R.J.

answers from Seattle on

The boys style of "boy shorts" girls underwear are called "boxer briefs".

They are the only kind my son will actually wear. But you're one up on us panty-wise. When my son gets his panties in a twist he goes commando.

Sigh.

4 moms found this helpful
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D.K.

answers from Washington DC on

My son loves the Fruit of the Loom Comfort Soft Waistband boxer briefs and he has a touch sensitivity.

2 moms found this helpful

S.L.

answers from New York on

I'm laughing and enjoying this stream of comments! I remember my older son and his cousin wearing their briefs backwards so the batman could be in the front! guess comfort wasnt important to them. My younger son was getting red welts from his underwear- I tried different styles and finally bought a larger size (bigger than his pant size) of boxer briefs with no tags- he doesn't seem to care about the colors or if they have characters on them. Giving a child comfortable clothes isn't going to make them defiant. Does daycare worker see other signs that he is trouble, or too defiant? Or is she paranoid he will be a cross dresser, in which case she's funny! I did notice a child in kindergarten who was clearly wearing his sister's underwear and I worry that if other kids notice they will make fun of him but not until first or second grade!

1 mom found this helpful

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B.B.

answers from Portland on

I think the more you make an issue out of it, the more he will want to wear them. Offer him some other choices but if that is what feels comfie for him it doesn't hurt anyone for him to wear them. Tell the teacher to kiss his pink flowered butt and mind her own business.

2 moms found this helpful

T.M.

answers from Philadelphia on

I know what you mean that your son loves his sister's underwear. Everyday my 4 yo son gets his underwear on and pulls at the thick tight elastic band and lowers it as low as it can possibly go. He hates it. He never actually complains about it, I guess because he knows he has to wear underwear.
I can see why your son would want to wear his sisters soft, lightweight, and lower, less tight panties...I agree with your suggestion to just go buy him plain white underwear like his sister has. What's the big deal!?
I agree with the teachers comment that "giving in" just makes him defiant in the future with other things. But honestly in this case if the kid hates the way his undies feel then buy him more comfy ones. Who cares if they are girls, especially if they look like boys ones you won't even have to tell him that they are girl undies.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.H.

answers from Honolulu on

get your son boxers.

If you go to Amazon, and input "Toddler Boxer Shorts" many will come up.
Or do a Google Search for it... "boys boxer briefs."
also try Gap Kids or Gymboree.
Hanes also makes boys boxers.
"The Children's Place" also has boys boxers

good luck,
Susan

1 mom found this helpful
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J.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Calvin Klein briefs...my husband loves them and so does my 7 year old.

NO TAGS!!!!! (and they last forever)

1 mom found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Boise on

at 2 yrs old my son would rip his diaper off and run around naked. Is it any wonder he hates underwear now? He is 10 and still doesn't wear it.

I did go out and buy extra large briefs- three times bigger than his size. That worked for a while. I dont know why they underwear mfgers make the sizes on boys unders too small.

1 mom found this helpful
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M.S.

answers from Appleton on

I only have girls...but if he likes the boyshorts then I bet you could find some boy sized boxer-briefs (the tighty-whitey's with the little bit of leg on them). Try looking online! Hope you find something that works!!! I agree- find him something made for boys, otherwise when he's 16 he'll be mortified when his sister teases him about wearing her underwear! Lol! : )

1 mom found this helpful
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L.B.

answers from Phoenix on

I used to teach pre-school, a three year old class. Many of the little ones in my class were just learning to potty train. I lways recommended the parents take their children to the store and let them pick out what underwear they wanted to wear...who cares what is on them! Some of the girls would come in with superhero boys underwear because that's what they wanted. The kids were happy, excited to potty train, and who knew the wiser! To the public it didn't matter.
You can try boxer briefs, that may help with the comfort factor for him. But if he really prefers her undies, get him a color that isn't as girly and be happy he is comfortable! (And I'm not one to give in easily- I've been a middle school teacher for 5 years and they whine more than 3 and 4 year olds!)

1 mom found this helpful
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S.M.

answers from Washington DC on

I hope you got some picture for the scrapbook?

I guess I would make this more an issue about "your sister is entitled to her things being just her's and to leave them alone." "But if your underwear is uncomfortable, I would be happy to let you pick out a new pair." Take him to the boys section and let him pick. I mean in general, who cares, you could just tell him to suck it up. But what does it hurt to give on this one a little. However, I would take him to the boys section. I sort of feel like that shouldn't matter, but I can't help thinking it does... I don't know if it is about comfort or about wanting something different. But I think a new type and style of boys underwear would help.

Oh and tell daycare to mind her own business!!! That said, at four, you may want to make sure teasing from peers about pink underwear isn't a problem.

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M.!.

answers from Columbus on

Try the boxer briefs. This is what my son wears. I agree with the teacher's comments.

Good luck!

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A.F.

answers from Columbus on

My almost 4 year old son loves his boxer briefs. They are really comfy.

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R.H.

answers from Boston on

One, my daughter wears all her brothers stuff, including (her size) boys carters paajamas I bought her...to match her baby brothers...and if I have her a jockstrap surely she'd put it on too. She hates her dresses for 99% of the time. Oh and she's 4 very soon. So its the age too. Second, they make very soft boxer briefs in the 3 packs plain colors too, in his size. I got my 2 year old some for bed and they are soft and cute. Not tight briefs, not roomy boxers. Sometimes when I dont want to upset my daughter I'll hide her object of resistance ( like 7th day in a row shirt or boys pj's). Out of sight out of mind! Dont worry....I know men who have admitted to trying on pantyhose (!!)and turned out just great! ( really..)

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J.P.

answers from Boise on

Do they make latex free ones for boys? Are those softer? Unless the white or blue girl underwear is ruffly, can you even tell that they are girls? If not, then it is just new, better underwear to him.

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L.D.

answers from Las Vegas on

My son wears the box brief style underwear since he was 3 or 4 and he's never indicated any discomfort with them. You may want to give them a try.

As for your teacher's comment, I honestly don't have anything good to say about that. When children are 4, their gender identity is still a matter of exploration. Boys will play with dolls and try on princess dress up clothing and girls will be interested in what the boys are doing and playing with. It's when they get into elementary school and get a few years older that gender lines start beginning to get drawn. The teacher's comment -- well, that's just one woman's opinion. We all have them. And now you have mine... ;o)

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

have your tired the comfort waist boxer briefs? I don't know if they are hanes or fruit of the loom but thats what both my hubby and my boys wear. They seem like they would be comfortable and would probably feel similar to her "boyshorts" that his sister has.

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A.I.

answers from Tucson on

boys boxer briefs..they are like the girls boy short panties..i bought them to sleep in since they cover more of my bum than girls boy shorts..lol

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A.W.

answers from Roanoke on

I know this is waaay old - but thanks for bringing up the topic. I think we are all too focused on boy vs girl when it comes to clothes and especially underwear. Comfy is best. Thanks everyone - your comments and advice live on!

T.L.

answers from St. Louis on

Have you tried the boxer briefs? All of my kids love these and they come for little boys and girls. If not I would just go buy him some blue or white ones like you suggested. He will grow out of it. This seems like a battle to just give in too! He isn't hurting anything or anyone.

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T.T.

answers from Dallas on

My younger son is allergic to the elastic in the boys underwear so I buy him (and now his brother) Hanes underwear with fabric over the elastic. They are obviously more comfortable because that is what both boys pick when they have the choice. You can find them at Target with the other underwear, you may just have to look for them (they only come in patterns, but not characters).

Also, I've just got to comment on what the teacher said. "Giving into the little things can cause them to be defiant" for a 4 year old? PLEASE!?!?! It's just underwear, and he's just 4! I've known boys who have worn princess dresses, jewelry and other femine things at that age and are perfectly fine adults and older children. What your son is doing is not defiance!!! Pick your battles carefully.

P.S. The underwear that I'm talking about are briefs, not boxers or boxer briefs.

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L.L.

answers from Hartford on

My son will only wear boxer briefs with the comfort waist band. There is no exposed elastic so they don't irrate him. They are sometimes hard to find, but I have had good luck at target.

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D.G.

answers from Houston on

The girl undies are definately softer than the boy ones. Looser too. I stopped buying my son the character undies. Don't know why the superman ones are so much rougher than the cinderella ones:) I found that the best "tighty whities and boxer briefs" are from gymboree. I don't shop at gymboree for anything but there boys briefs!

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D.P.

answers from Seattle on

I think that if he's comfortable in his sister's undies and you can get him some in colors that won't bother his daycare teacher (!!), then that's the way to go! Problem solved!

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