My daughter is 11 months old and still nursing 3x a day. She is so long that she can't get comfortable when I try to nurse her in our rocking chair, and that combined with my larger breasts has meant that we do side lying nursing in our bed. This has made her be a part time co-sleeper. I used to be able to easily let her nurse for about 15 minutes and then when she was almost asleep I'd put her down in her bed (in our room). But lately she's taken to using me as her pacifier throughout the night. She's not really eating, she just wants to hold my nipple in her mouth. But when she seems asleep I try to remove it she screams and thrashes her legs. She hasn't been interested in using a pacifier for months and she's even stopped sucking her thumb. How can I nurse her side lying but still get her to want to fall asleep in her crib? Some nights she falls asleep fairly quickly and I can get her in her bed and she'll sleep through the night fine. We've tried a few nights of the "cry it out" method and we put her down she screams for half an hour, usually making herself poop because she gets so upset, then when I take her and change her diaper we are both completely awake and we have to start the screaming process all over again! I hate this method because my husband and I can't sleep when she's screaming, so we are exhausted and cranky the next day which makes me more prone to just giving in and letting her comfort nurse so we can get some sleep. We're ready to put her crib in her own room, but I'm afraid that's going to make this process harder instead of easier.
This article might give you some good ideas- Dr. Gordon is a huge proponent of the family bed, but recognizes that sometimes, things need to change for the benefit of all involved. Hope it helps!
http://drjaygordon.com/attachment/sleeppattern.html
You may want to try to disassociate nursing with sleep. If you feed, play, sleep, she won't be so dependent on it for the comfort. I love the side lying too, but try doing it on a blanket on the floor, or elsewhere too.
I had to stop nursing right before bedtime by that age. Try nursing her relaxing on the couch or a loveseat with lights on, read a book after, and start that at least a half an hour to an hour before bedtime. I actually used to give my kids a small snack an hour or two before bed so they were still slightly full for the night. Nurse before you start bedtime routines and if she nods off, snuggle her in her room and then put her in her bed. I also remember when I stopped nursing to sleep I would just amp up the snuggling and sometimes sit next to crib and stroke my boys' cheeks and foreheads while they fell asleep for a while just to help ease those changes. Start all of this well before your bedtime, too, so she can be asleep before you and your husband go to bed. One of us is almost always still awake until the kids are all asleep at our house.
Maybe she's using for comfort because she's teething? Mine didn't get her first tooth till she was 11 months.
My only suggestion may not be helpful to you, but maybe just let her stay where she is. Does she only get upset when you pull out, or does she get upset when you try and move her? If she gets upset when you pull out, is it cause she thinks you are going to move her? Or does she just want something to suck on? Have you tried a different paci? Her's could have gotten too small for her or she may like a different brand better now.
I nursed and co-slept my daughter for a long time. I was a single Mom, working full time and going to college part time. Because I co-slept and nursed... I never had an exhaustion issue from baby not sleeping. I wish more Moms would be open to such a basic and healthy habit.
Adults do not choose to sleep alone, why would we force our young infants and toddlers to?
Anyways... you also have to keep in mind her age. Not only is she dealing with growth spurts still, but she's learning so many new things and is on the go Go go, that some one on one Mommy time is just what she needs to recharge, relax and start over the next day. This is also around the time where separation anxiety reaches a high.
Please remember - she's still a baby, not even yet a toddler - which is still a very very young child. Don't force independence, unless you want a very clingy child later on.
